There is a lot more to be determined here, but the Coast Guard may not have followed its own procedures. [merry bubbling sound, throaty exhale ending in cough] Why has the White House withheld the fact that the Coast Guard did not follow its own procedures?
Hey, let’s join David Brooks on a fantastical tour where every Applebee’s has a salad bar, every tax cut creates three beeeellion jobs, and everybody, including Democrats, takes David’s advice. All you have to do is put on a magic green jacket. No, seriously.
I was a liberal Democrat when I was young.
Yeah, and I used to be Brad Pitt’s boyfriend when I was young. (Like every other pathetically insecure right-wing wanker, Brooks tries to lend extra credence to his nonsense by saying that now that he’s all smart and grown-up and stuff he has outgrown liberalism, much the way he’s outgrown sippy cups and, allegedly, bedwetting.)
I used to wear a green Army jacket with political buttons on it — for Hubert Humphrey, Birch Bayh, John F. Kennedy and Franklin Roosevelt. I even wore that jacket in my high school yearbook photo.
This guy is the worst liar ever, and if the New York Fookin’ Times had an ounce of integrity left they would make him show them that yearbook photo before printing such obvious hokum.
It’s a magic green jacket. I can put it on today and, suddenly, my mind shifts back to the left. I start thinking like a Democrat, feeling a strange accompanying hunger for brown rice.
Democrats apparently carry affirmative action so far that they won’t even eat white rice
But the magic jacket-wearing me is nervous about the next few years. I’m afraid my party is going to get stuck in the same old debates that we always lose. First, we’re going to have the same old tax debate. We’re going to not extend the Bush tax cuts on the rich. The Republicans will blast us for killing growth and raising taxes as they did in 2000 and 2004.
Apparently, the magic green jacket has made 2008 go away. Poof! The entire year never even happened. Or maybe the manteau magique created a new 2008 in David’s mind where Obama was crushed in the election because of his promise to only raise taxes on the rich. In fact, the central concern of most Americans clearly is to make sure that the rich, who are barely scraping by now, pay less taxes.
So I sit there in my magic green jacket and I wonder: What can my party do to avoid the big government tag that always leads to catastrophe?
Gee, I wonder what that would be? SPOILER ALERT
Why Democrats can only save themselves BY ACTING LIKE REPUBLICANS AND NOT LIKE DEMOCRATS! (Who could have seen that coming from Bobo, huh?)
Not much is going to get passed in the next two years anyway, but the president could lay the groundwork for a whopping second-term agenda: tax simplification, entitlement reform, a new wave of regional innovation clusters, a new wave of marriage-friendly tax policies.
Ah, yes, the Democrats, if they want to succeed, should ditch Medicare, privatize social security, enact a flat-tax, and come up with tax breaks for opposite marriage. I’m surprised Bobo didn’t throw in, while he was at it, that the Democrats should repeal health care and financial reform, remove all federal regulations on gun dealers, re-criminalize sodomy, deport all illegal immigrants, eliminate the Department of Education and the EPA, withdraw from the United Nations and evict the U.N. from its headquarters in New York City, outlaw the fluoridation of municipal water supplies, and rename Washington, D.C., as St. Reagansburg.
Then I take off the magic green jacket and return to my old center-right self.
Everybody knows by now that liberals are the real racists and Barack Obama is the racistest of them all.* But did you know that Obama ‘has divided America’ not just ‘on the basis of race’ — but on ‘class and partisanship’ too?
Patrick H. Caddell and Douglas E. Schoen lay it all out in today’s Wall Street Journal:
Our Divisive President
… Rather than being a unifier, Mr. Obama has divided America on the basis of race, class and partisanship. Moreover, his cynical approach to governance has encouraged his allies to pursue a similar strategy of racially divisive politics on his behalf.
Messrs. Caddell and Schoen ‘say this with a heavy heart’, but the evidence they present is irrefutable. For example, did you know:
– That this one time, Obama said this one white cop ‘acted stupidly’ for arresting this one black guy for no good reason? And what’s more, that our ‘president’ had the nerve to say that there was a ‘long history in this country of African-Americans and Latinos being stopped by law enforcement disproportionately’?
– That this other guy said Obama told him in private that he hoped all the white people in Arizona would have their throats slit by migrant workers or that there should be comprehensive immigration reform or something?
– That Obama’s Justice Department hasn’t prosecuted some big, scary black men for standing near a polling place this one time, which is totally against the law?
– That Obama’s favoritism towards black people has resulted in a whopping 23.2 percent unemployment rate amongst young white people while just 39.9 percent of young black people are unemployed?
What’s more, ‘Mr. Obama has also cynically divided the country on class lines.’ Feast your brains on this smoking gun:
– Wall Street fat cats and insurance bigwigs keep giving Obama money even though he sometimes says bad stuff in public about their industries because the public totally hates those guys, but then doesn’t really do all that much to curb their worst excesses.
Finally, Obama is a partisan.** Horrifyingly, Obama and Democrats are probably going to try to appeal to certain voting constituencies in the run-up to this November’s elections, predict Caddell and Schoen.
We would all be wise to heed their warnings and drum this race-class-and-political hustler out of office before he mildly rebukes someone or something again (and then politely backs down and/or uses said rhetoric to mask the fact he isn’t really doing shit to change much of anything socially, economically or politically).
*It’s actually worse than this — Obama simultaneously picks the cotton, serves mint juleps in the big house and whips the slaves on the Democrat Plantation. Also, he runs a high-tech Underground Railroad on the Internets and is a Grand High Imperial Trouser Snake in the Ku Klux Klan.
**He is also the brains behind the birther movement. Think about it, have you ever seen Obama and Orly Taitz in a room together?
I’m back from Netroots Nation at the Rio in Las Vegas, where I didn’t have a laptop due to recent difficulties (and dropping $5 a minute to get online at the Rio business center or whatever it cost was less appealing than losing twice that much in half the time on the blackjack tables).
So I wound up spending most of my time by the pool, drunk courtesy of the cheap, shitty vodka in my ‘suite’ that I managed to transport via suitcase without breaking the bottle and ruining my inappropriately master class ensemble. Roy’s got some poignant takes on the NN10 happenings, starting here.
My impressions:
– Brad Reed is tall! He would have kicked my ass in basketball if we could have ever got that theoretical pickup game organized. Of course, it was supposed to happen in 115-degree Vegas weather, so probably a good thing it never happened.
– I am shit at karaoke. Epic fail. Brad’s pretty fucking good at it, btw.
– Our panel went pretty well. Amanda Marcotte advertised it as ‘funnier than Harry Reid’ – he was speaking at the same time. Seemed like a fairly safe prediction until we learned that he was telling dick jokes in the other room. Apparently, he hit a high note with a bit about Barack Obama, David Axelrod and Timothy Geithner all mashing the heads of their penises together, because that’s the only thing they still had left to do.
– The most incisive statement of the panel came from ‘The Price of Right’ author Alicia Morgan — who wasn’t even on the panel! Sort of like the S,N comment threads. The shorter is something like, ‘Making fun of wingnuts kept lots of people sane from 2000 to 2006.’ But much better than that.
– Pamela Mays McDonald of Cultural Cross Currents and Aimee Allison of KPFA (both of many more things, besides) are hella awesome.
– Roy Edroso and Michael Bêrübæ are both charming, dapper and very, very depraved.
– The Catholic Church and other arch-conservative, misogynist forces are killing women in The Philippines (and elsewhere) with their twisted policies on abortion. This is not exactly news, but just talk to Amanda’s partner Marc Faletti and his crew to discover again just how bad it is.
– I got called out for having too big of a suitcase on BART on the way home from SFO! People were like, ‘Were you packing a prom dress?’ and I was totally going to explain that it was the only suitcase I own, but that seemed like it would take too long, so then I was all, ‘I have a lot of video equipment’ … and now in the minds of a handful of people, I’m not just an overpacker, I’m a possible creep!
How long have we been reading Erick? We spent ten minutes pronouncing ‘tiahrt’ in different ways trying to guess what word he misspelled. That’s how long we’ve been reading Erick. Why, it didn’t even make us blink more than seven or eight times to read an opening paragraph like this:
A millimeter. A centimeter. An inch. They are all measures of distance. Even the smallest of them measures some distance.
That’s a good thing, too. Because if the smallest of those three — let’s call it the millimeter for argument’s sake — didn’t measure any distance, then it wouldn’t be the smallest. Because okay, wait, if it didn’t measure any distance, then how could you know how small it was?
Yes indeed. And with the millimeter out of the way, that would free things up for the centimeter to become the smallest of the three, and then a centimeter wouldn’t measure any distance either. Anyway, these things always end with the universe blowing up or collapsing or something, so it’s best to steer clear of them right from the beginning.
Our job this year as conservatives is to…
It was with none of these things occurring to him that Erick continued typing.
Our job this year as conservatives is to put some distance between us and the left. In doing so, it is our job to push the Senate Republican to the right.
As we can see, Erick is going right, away from the left, and is also pushing the Senate Republican to the right. So basically, everything is going farther to the right except for the left, which is staying the same.
L –> : ^ | ) –> (R)
But we’re like, wouldn’t it be a lot less work just to move the left farther left?
L <--------- : ^ O ) (R)
Ah, but if we're so smart, how come we're not on CNN?
Every inch counts when dealing with 100 senators and 40 or 50 Republicans.
Uh, ew?
Every inch.
Because even the smallest inch measures some distance. Also, ew.
In Kansas, the Republican will win the general election. The question is who — Jerry Moran or Todd Tiahrt. The distance between the two men may only be inches on some issues…
Whilst on others, they boldly thrust together and apart, again and again with a hammy slappida-slappida sound, with the back of Tiahrt’s toupée coming partly aloft on the outstroke — for instance, on the ahem-hem issue.
And in each case, Todd Tiahrt is to the right of Jerry Moran.
In fact, if Jerry Moran spins in place, Todd Tiahrt gets hurled around in a frightening orbit. If Jerry Moran walks to the labboard of a koi pond, Todd Tiahrt will plop his one shoe in and go stiff-legging down to the bottom, then keep walking with his tie floating behind him like an aeronaut’s scarf in miniature, and with his toupée left floating upon the water like Sea-Star Island, if that island smelled generally of Preparation H.
…as ‘pro-life’ and ‘conservative’ to describe who he needed to become to get elected.”
That sounds like sour bananas.
Sour grapes maybe.
Yeah, whatever, sure.
But it fits with Moran who, should he lose, will be another Bob Inglis — railing against those tea party rubes. If elected, he’ll keep quiet, but he’ll spend his time in the Senate, issue after issue, undermining conservatives.
That’s another reason we should all be supporting Todd Tiahrt.
Also, his name is an anagram for ‘that hater,’ ‘hair hurt,’ and ‘traitor,’ not to mention ‘Tiamat,’ and if you add his first name, ‘odd ratty hat maker.’ Those are a miles of reasons with even the smallest of them measures some distance, also!
Shirley Sherrod is a bigger liar than Andrew Breitbart because she claimed that a relative of hers was lynched when in fact he was merely beaten to death.*
*The Dyer Anti-Lynching Bill, which served as a model for state anti-lynching laws, defines lynching as “depriving any person of his life without authority of law.” No ropes mentioned anywhere at all.
I am NOT a coward. And as proof that I am not a coward, consider this: I regularly write things that I know will force me to read a torrent of ugly emails from my readers. [audio: https://sadlyno.com/wordpress/uploads/2010/07/goin_in_there.mp3]
His daddy dropped him on his head. He fried his brain on drugs and liquor. His mamma had sex with him. He has schizotypal antisocial personality disorder. He’s not smart enough to have Asperger’s Syndrome.
SPOILER ALERT 
