Erick And The Angry Inch
Erick Erickson, RedState:
Why Tiahrt Matters
How long have we been reading Erick? We spent ten minutes pronouncing ‘tiahrt’ in different ways trying to guess what word he misspelled. That’s how long we’ve been reading Erick. Why, it didn’t even make us blink more than seven or eight times to read an opening paragraph like this:
A millimeter. A centimeter. An inch. They are all measures of distance. Even the smallest of them measures some distance.
That’s a good thing, too. Because if the smallest of those three — let’s call it the millimeter for argument’s sake — didn’t measure any distance, then it wouldn’t be the smallest. Because okay, wait, if it didn’t measure any distance, then how could you know how small it was?
Yes indeed. And with the millimeter out of the way, that would free things up for the centimeter to become the smallest of the three, and then a centimeter wouldn’t measure any distance either. Anyway, these things always end with the universe blowing up or collapsing or something, so it’s best to steer clear of them right from the beginning.
Our job this year as conservatives is to…
It was with none of these things occurring to him that Erick continued typing.
Our job this year as conservatives is to put some distance between us and the left. In doing so, it is our job to push the Senate Republican to the right.
As we can see, Erick is going right, away from the left, and is also pushing the Senate Republican to the right. So basically, everything is going farther to the right except for the left, which is staying the same.
L –> : ^ | ) –> (R)
But we’re like, wouldn’t it be a lot less work just to move the left farther left?
L <--------- : ^ O ) (R) Ah, but if we're so smart, how come we're not on CNN?
Every inch counts when dealing with 100 senators and 40 or 50 Republicans.
Uh, ew?
Every inch.
Because even the smallest inch measures some distance. Also, ew.
In Kansas, the Republican will win the general election. The question is who — Jerry Moran or Todd Tiahrt. The distance between the two men may only be inches on some issues…
Whilst on others, they boldly thrust together and apart, again and again with a hammy slappida-slappida sound, with the back of Tiahrt’s toupée coming partly aloft on the outstroke — for instance, on the ahem-hem issue.
but are miles on others.
The distance are miles on others, true, but these are the most unique criterion of any single phenomena.
And in each case, Todd Tiahrt is to the right of Jerry Moran.
In fact, if Jerry Moran spins in place, Todd Tiahrt gets hurled around in a frightening orbit. If Jerry Moran walks to the labboard of a koi pond, Todd Tiahrt will plop his one shoe in and go stiff-legging down to the bottom, then keep walking with his tie floating behind him like an aeronaut’s scarf in miniature, and with his toupée left floating upon the water like Sea-Star Island, if that island smelled generally of Preparation H.
Todd Tiahrt moves the Senate right. Jerry Moran does not. In fact, Jerry Moran’s former campaign manager is declaring his support for Todd Tiahrt.
Moore provided a copy of…
Yawn.
Hey, let’s play some music.
…as ‘pro-life’ and ‘conservative’ to describe who he needed to become to get elected.”
That sounds like sour bananas.
Sour grapes maybe.
Yeah, whatever, sure.
But it fits with Moran who, should he lose, will be another Bob Inglis — railing against those tea party rubes. If elected, he’ll keep quiet, but he’ll spend his time in the Senate, issue after issue, undermining conservatives.
That’s another reason we should all be supporting Todd Tiahrt.
Also, his name is an anagram for ‘that hater,’ ‘hair hurt,’ and ‘traitor,’ not to mention ‘Tiamat,’ and if you add his first name, ‘odd ratty hat maker.’ Those are a miles of reasons with even the smallest of them measures some distance, also!
Oh look, a thread. I wonder how many inches it is?
It hurts from laughing.
Um…did we ever figure out what the fuck he was talking about?
Not getting out of the boat, sorry. I have apricots, I don’t need any mangoes.
I just looked up Erickson to see if he actually looked like a douche too. Isn’t he the same guy that did the Numa-Numa video?
That’s what he tells his wife, but she just laughs and beats him over the ears with a giant jelly dong until he retires, once again, to the sofa for the night.
ALWAYS throw your support for the Moran. He got a brian.
If the millimeter measured nothing then so would , eventually, kilometers and then it would take no time at all to get to Gramma’s house in the woods.
If the millimeter measured nothing then so would , eventually, kilometers and then it would take no time at all to get to Gramma’s house in the woods.
Wormholes for wingnuts.
Todd Tiahrt cannot be an inch to the right of Jerry Moran because first he has to move a half an inch to the right. And then another half of the half inch. And then another half of the half of the half inch. TIMES INFINITY, INCHIE!!!
Whoa….you just blew my mind.
It’s just a jump to the left
Fetus pinata.
That is all.
if that island smelled generally of Preparation H.
Dis be funnay.
What’s the old joke…? Something to the effect of “Women can’t be engineers, they’ve been told for too long that 4 inches is really 8.”
What that has to do with locomotives, I have no idea.
Dayum, Tiahrt looks so phine in leather! He’s definitely to the right of Moran. Erickson really knows his stuff!
JPEG image – http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_CEzb0dKqJ0o/TBqLI17v27I/AAAAAAAAE54/BruE11pw43c/s1600/Tiarht.jpg
P.S. What about a cubit?
FROM WIKIPEDIA:
…The earliest attested standard measure is from the Old Kingdom pyramids of Egypt and was called the royal cubit (mahe). The royal cubit was 523 to 525 mm (20.6 to 20.64 inches) in length[3], and was subdivided into 7 palms of 4 digits each, for a 28-part measure in total…
…From late Antiquity, the Roman ulna, a four-foot cubit (about 120 cm) is also attested. This length is the measure from a man’s hip to the fingers of the outstretched opposite arm…
Another kiwi said,
July 27, 2010 at 6:22
It’s just a jump to the left
and then a cubit to the right…
An important note there is he originally endorsed Moran, because Moran lied to him about his record. Kinda tells you something about Moran’s character.
It sure does, it tells you he’s a real
MoronMaroonMoran. Ahhhh….What that has to do with locomotives, I have no idea
Clean Cole!
Also, we must form investigative committees on the relative height of midgets.
“Because even the smallest inch measures some distance. “
Some inches are bigger than others. Pull my finger.
“How do you decide to vote, Ty?”
“By hight!”
This is cute, in a retarded sort of way. I can picture ol’ Irky racking his branes for his next article. “OK, people have different opinions, and, like…you can measure them! Like with a ruler! GO ME!”
But then it goes from being cute to just being retardedly retarded. How deep in the hivemind must these guys be to think that they haven’t done enough to “distinguish themselves from the right?” Christ, Erick, how many Senate Republican votes have the Dems gotten total this term? Like, 6? And the idea that Jerry fucking Moran could be some closet pinko is just…well, it’s something. Keep that head a-thinkin’, Erick.
It’s just a jump to the left
and then a cubit to the right…
You put your hands on your inch
But then it goes from being cute to just being retardedly retarded
I too saw Erick Erickson, Ericksquire on CNN today. His brilliant commentary consisted of:
“Why should we trust WikiLeaks?”
That & the toupée motif more than worth the admission.
“Why should we trust WikiLeaks?”
We shouldn’t. In THIS case, we can trust the government.
Moran who, should he lose, will be another Bob Inglis — railing against those tea party rubes.
That’s another reason we should all be supporting Todd Tiahrt.
I think this translates as “We should do our best to ratfuck the other side, because if given the chance, the other side will do their best to ratfuck us.” * I imagine him as the kid who whose favourite excuse was “I had to hit him back first”.
Preemptive projection is not just a cognitive strategy that Erik ap Erik favours against Democrat opponents; it’s the only one he has. If the only tool you have is a rodent-shaped novelty vibrator then everything looks like a ratfuck.
* For arbitrarily-chosen values of “us” and “the other side”.
“Erick’s Angry Inch”
I thought this was a musical? Where’s the singing and dancing? And I heard it ends with Erick buck nekkid slowly walking away from the camera.
See & hear Air-wreck go on.
And I heard it ends with Erick buck nekkid slowly walking away from the camera.
Yes.
But that has nothing to do with the plot.
In THIS case, we can trust the government.
* Erickericson’s inner monologue minutes before CNN appearance*
But we shouldn’t trust the government… it’s run by Demorats. Or should we… Republicans started the war…. but now people are trying to end it… what else will the Right have… Shit they’re waving me in…
*Pulls out^ quarter*
Tails.
Shit. I didn’t assign a side…
Hi, Rick Sanchez^^!
^Oh, yes.
^^Filthy.
See & hear Air-wreck go on.
Pause it at 2:16.
Shorter Air-wreck vs. Michael Dyson:
Durrrrrrr!!!!
Also too: I’ve got a great new project for Bill Kristol in his efforts to
get Sarah Palin to touch his weinerpromote Sarah Palin. Details at my joint.Gavin is to the wingnuts, what Bugs Bunny is to Elmer Fudd.
Prof says at 3:20 “Mr. Erickson can’t be that naive”
They never really know what they are going up against do they. There should be a media packet for these people who appear with the likes of Erickson. “Here is just how motherfucking crazy this moron you will be next to on CNN. Prepare accordingly.”
“We should be having a serious discussion about race but we can’t because you liberals are too bust stereotyping us racists as racists.”
The thing is, it would be impossible to move to the right if there were no such things as directions.
Maybe when Eric wrote this he was thinking of his penis which is the smallest among them.
Just giving him the benefit of the doubt here.
How can we have an honest conversation about race when you libruls try to make the simple act of a few white people beating a black person to death into “a lynching”?
That’s painting with a broad brush. The town, the police, the judge, the lawyers, the witnesses, the jury. They’re all just a minority. In fact, they are really the victims here. This is central to my point.
Wing-nuts really run screaming from the concrete do they not?
Girls like to party with boys who are Tiahrty.
Perhaps there is a dimension heretofore only noted in theoretical physics in which there is an analogue of right in which the GOP is to the left of Trotsky and so Erick is possibly a brand new super-heavy meson (hence the Mesonic Lodge). I recommend we accelerate him to near light speed and smash him into a target (Bill Kristol should suffice) and see what trails he leaves in the cloud-chamber though they will probably be slimy.
This is cute, in a retarded sort of way.
Leave Trig alone!
OT, but doesn’t Andrew Breitbart look like the scary psycho antagonist in a bad Showtime thriller staring C. Thomas Howell or Linda Fioerntino? Like a guy trying to do Dennis Hopper but winds up coming off as a poor man’s Rutger Hauer? Just me?
you know who else was obsessed with inches….
Or cm’s…..
America’s Laziest States.
No. 1 Laziest State: Louisiana
Time sleeping: 8 hours, 44 minutes*
Time watching TV: 3 hours, 5 minutes*
Time relaxing and thinking: 29 minutes*
Time socializing: 54 minutes*
Time working (averaged over total population ages 15 and older): 2 hours, 41 minutes
No. 2 Laziest State: Mississippi
Time sleeping: 8 hours, 59 minutes
Time watching TV: 2 hours, 54 minutes
Time relaxing and thinking: 42 minutes
Time socializing: 41 minutes
Time working (averaged over total population ages 15 and older): 2 hours, 53 minutes
No. 3 Laziest State: Arkansas
Time sleeping: 8 hours, 46 minutes
Time watching TV: 3 hours, 2 minutes
Time relaxing and thinking: 23 minutes
Time socializing: 41 minutes
Time working (averaged over total population ages 15 and older): 3 hours, 4 minutes
Oh, bless it. If you had told me last year that douchebags would be adamantly opposing Moran for being too far to the left, I would have, as the children say, LOLed. Now, I agree, Tiarht *is* farther to the right, but as Erick made clear, it’s only by a centimeter or so.
Tiahrt was actually my representative until 2000, when they re-districted and I moved…I can’t say, as a Kansas liberal, I would have been all that more stoked to have Moran representing me.
You know who I reeeeeeeeeeeeeallllyyyyyyy hate, though? Jim Ryun. He’s no worse than the others. Don’t ask why.
Also, this made me laugh my ass off, too. Great job, Gavin.
I would have, as the children say, LOLed.
Perhaps an investment in some Depends…
Our job this year as conservatives is to put some distance between us and the left. In doing so, it is our job to push the Senate Republican to the right.
Yeah, they’re fucking indistinguishable from each other. I offer as proof of their sameness in all things political the vote counts of various bills proffered since Obama took office. Nary a squeak of dissent!
I laughed out several times as I read this. Some laughs were bigger than others. But even the smallest ones mattered.
Loud
What the fuck kind of name is Todd Tiahrt? Is he Athirat, Goddess of the sea in disguise or something?
But even the smallest ones mattered.
It ain’t the size of the boat, it’s the motion of the ocean?
But even the smallest ones mattered.
It ain’t the size of the boat, it’s the motion of the ocean?
It’s not the size of the hot dog, but the spiciness of the mustard.
It’s not the size of the telegram, but how often STOP is used.
It’s not the size of motorcycle, but how shiny the chrome is.
It’s not the size of the penis, but the quality of the rationalizations. Oh wait…
Preposterous!
“It’s not the size of the penis”
Bullshit
“If the only tool you have is a rodent-shaped novelty vibrator then everything looks like a ratfuck.”
best line evar
best line evar
Um, yeah, I missed that. Pure genius.
only real mango in the comments is the lonely commenter foolish enough to ask if Erick has any actual examples of actual issues which differentiate these two candidates. There is no reply of course. Twit, looking for “issues” of “substance” to decide an election on. Just like a liberal. Erick told you about inches! Shut up, that’s why!
But how many Angstroms in a light-year, Erick? No calculators and show your work.
That should keep him busy for a while.
Is he Athirat, Goddess of the sea in disguise or something?
Yes, yes he is. Which of course means he is ineligible to run for senate because, Not an American Citizen. Unless she(he) was naturalized I guess.
I’d like to include a quote from this commenter to Urk’s post, but WP isn’t gonna let me do it (FYWPWACS).
For those brave enough to venture there, it is worth the trip.
“Puffie”?
And I heard it ends with Erick buck nekkid slowly walking away from the camera.
Goodbye, horses. And lunch.
WF
So what about all the people who used to vote Republican but stopped doing so as of 2006 because they thought the party has gone much too far to the right? Is moving even father right supposed to deke them out & somehow magically make them all come back?
Also, there are a hell of a lot fewer Angry Inches to the far end of the political right than Erick “CNN’s Ugliest Camwhore” Erickson thinks – so when they’ve officially gone Full
RetardFascist, as is inevitable once they keep going right long enough, how the hell are they going to move right from there? Advocate feudalism? Proclaim their next party chairman a living god? Ritual human sacrifice? Primaries by combat?A millimeter. A centimeter. An inch. They are all measures of distance.
Aren’t they measures of length, used to describe distance? You know, “how distant is your penis?” might be someting Erk’s wife has often asked him, and he’s never quite understood the question.
Um, “the metric system is theft?”
Advocate feudalism? Proclaim their next party chairman a living god? Ritual human sacrifice? Primaries by combat?
Once the overton window has swung this far, I think I ‘m going to have to switch teams. Watching a bunch of pasty flabby cowards fight to the death for the chance to represent their party would be too good to miss. Also I would totally try for the party chairman job.
Our job this year as conservatives is to put some distance between us and the left. In doing so, it is our job to push the Senate Republican to the right.
What still amazes me is the quality of intellect that continues to get drafted into the Show.
Is this mook really a lawyer? I wonder what the other alums of Walter F. George think when they see Irk on the teevee.
I’d like to include a quote from this commenter to Urk’s post, but WP isn’t gonna let me do it (FYWPWACS).
Here, let me try… [pre-emptive FYWP]
You know, “how distant is your penis?” might be someting Erk’s wife has often asked him, and he’s never quite understood the question.
If it were anyone else, it would be some sort of existential question, or perhaps a comment on their relationship…but for him, she would mean it literally.
A millimeter. A centimeter. An inch. They are all measures of distance. Even the smallest of them measures some distance.
Pity they’re all too…long…for you, Erick.
And some of us prefer to measure in feet.
Whem moving the Overton Window, it helps to preframe the new opening with a couple of king studs.
Failing that kind of stud, you need to use jack studs.
In Erick’s windows, the jacks’ off.
Tire art.
These units of measure don’t run.
Tiahrt, for those of you who don’t remember, gave his name to the Tiahrt Amendment. And what’s that, you ask? Why, it’s a little piece of legislation slipped into appropriations bills that restricts cities’ abilities to trace guns used in crimes therein. So yes, he’s a bit of a hero in right wing circles for keeping guns in the hands of criminals.
Tie Fart
In Erick’s windows, the jacks’ off.
The fries are the windows to Erick’s soul.
the Overton Window
Now overlooking a smoldering, post-apocalyptic moonscape. Don’t worry, Senator, this is shatter-proof glass.
Y’know, you’d think the right wing would wholly support the metric system, because so many more of them would be able to say “I hang ten” with a straight face.
Primaries by combat?
Jim, this is probably the most practical solution to the ‘Who Wants to Be the Wingnutty-est?” contests going on in so many places around the US this year, like my sweet home Colorado. I admire your vision and wisdom. I am pissed I didn’t think of it first. It could be expanded to the nooz shows and guys like Erk and his ilk could show off their rugged manhood type brutal skillz. Then we could have really, really good journalisticality every where! And responsible, top-notch guvamint!
These units of measure don’t run.
I’m proud to be an American
where at least we measure in feet…
Now overlooking a smoldering, post-apocalyptic moonscape. Don’t worry, Senator, this is shatter-proof glass.
My god, it’s full of stars…and gigantic roaches….
Shorter Paul Mirengoff:
Shorter Scott Johnson:
The funny thing about Moran* is that he’s really not any further to the “left” than Tiahrt…it’s that he’s a fucking MAVERICK. Ya rly. I guess you’re only supposed to be a maverick in ways that the Tea Party wants.
*Also, incidentally, the name of a town I always drove through in Kansas to get to my grandmother’s and come home from college.
The funny thing about Moran* is that he’s really not any further to the “left” than Tiahrt…it’s that he’s a fucking MAVERICK.
The party that’s against big government and regulation insists its member tow the party line.
*chuckle*
Shorter Paul Mirengoff:
Tyler Florence is shilling for Wishbone dressings now? Sad.
The party that’s against big government and regulation insists its member tow the party line.
They’re all authoritarians at heart. They just don’t know it, poor babies.
Lulz.
and I won’t forget the men who died
saying “bushels of wheat”…
I’m proud to be an American
where at least we measure in feet…
and I won’t forget the men who died
saying “bushels of wheat”…
They fight for every yard, not meter
At the cost of a bigger peter
Wait, what song are you singing?
I’m working on a new chorus. I don’t cotton to Lee Greenwood.
Neither do I. And now that song is in my head. I hate myself.
And I’d gladly stand up
Next to you and defend pounds still today,
Cause I don’t live in metric-land,
God bless the USA!
Tee hee. Well done, everybody! *raises lighter*
Needless to say, we more Continental-Americans have our rebuttal.
The fact is,_________________.
Yeah. Seriously.
tsam said,
July 27, 2010 at 16:00
The fact is,_________________.
Yeah. Seriously.
YOU’RE Gary Ruppert???
I KNEW IT!
Needless to say, we more Continental-Americans have our rebuttal.
Nobody* wants to see your butt.
*For DK-W-mom-free values of “anybody.”
Nobody* wants to see your butt.
*For DK-W-mom-free values of “anybody.”
Ah, but there’s a flaw in your Imperial “mathematics”
“Nobody” =/= “Anybody” It’s not even equivalent.
Visually, Tiahrt reminds me of Chet Baker right about the time that the smack really got its hooks into him. He also implied that Stanley Ann Dunham would have aborted our current president if it had been available, legal and free, but that the real loss would have been if the same had happened to the future Clarence Thomas. Class out the ass, baby. (Is it any surprise that he was elected as a result of a Kansas redistricting that left its voters thinking that Dan “MPAA” Glickman was too liberal?)
“Nobody” =/= “Anybody” It’s not even equivalent.
Inverses. Very useful in logic.
I’m proud to be a Jayhawk where at least I know my state is represented by fascist homophobic racist wankers…
Hm. Gonna have to work on that one.
YOU’RE Gary Ruppert???
I KNEW IT!
I wish. I would kill to be that high right now.
“Nobody” =/= “Anybody” It’s not even equivalent.
Inverses. Very useful in logic.
The logical inverse of “nobody” is “not nobody”. 😛
Erickson can think and say what he wants to about politics or whatever but man there is no goddamn excuse for hair like that. You can man up and rock a full Jack Donaghy. You can go kitschsexy and opt for a Don Draper/Pat Bateman style plaster-it-the-fuck-back do. You can grow it out, get a little wave action (and if you do this you can still pomade/wax/gel it and pretend you just stepped out of a time machine and are confused why you’re not still at Andrew McCarthy’s pool party in 1986) but for the love of Eris NO MORE TEXTURED HAIR. Christ, man, it looks like you poured your hair out of a cake mold.
The logical inverse of “nobody” is “not nobody”.
That’s right. And “not nobody” is “anybody.”
Really.
The logical inverse of “nobody” is “not nobody”. 😛
I….. ain’t got no body…
Not nobody likes Sarah Lee?
That’s right. And “not nobody” is “anybody.”
Nope. “not nobody” = “somebody”
HA! I have run rings around your feeble logic. Where is my wingnut welfare check?
Everybody doesn’t not like Sara Lee.
You’re both right, idiots.
I like Sandra Lee.
You’re both right, idiots.
You must be talking to nobody because you ain’t talking to anybody.
You’re both right, idiots.
Hey now! “English” is a “living” “language” full of “words” with “meaning” and “nuance” that allow us to be “precise” when we are talking.
Oh, this is not going to end well.
Jerry Moran’s entire platform is:
I’m one of only five reps to vote against every single attempt to deal with every single problem the country faced; and
I mourn my lost freedoms.
How the fuck do you get to the right of that?
Hey now! “English” is a “living” “language” full of “words” with “meaning” and “nuance” that allow us to be “precise” when we are talking.
Sarah Palin’s not gonna touch your weiner, either, though unlike Bill Kristol that’s probably not your fondest hope.
The Fed confirms what we all already knew: the rich get richer BECAUSE the poor get poorer.
Hey now! “English” is a “living” “language”
Which is why incorporating Spanish into our everyday lives is, like, liberal fascism.
Sarah Palin’s not gonna touch your weiner, either, though unlike Bill Kristol that’s probably not your fondest hope.
Maybe he’s looking to touch Sarah’s weiner. Ever think of that?
Sarah Palin’s not gonna touch your weiner, either
Sarah Palin is proof that I will not fuck everything.
The Fed confirms what we all already knew: the rich get richer BECAUSE the poor get poorer.
And napalm sticks to kids.
The Fed confirms what we all already knew: the rich get richer BECAUSE the poor get poorer.
Um, yeah, that’s straight from the no shit files.
I remember reading something from a conservative that argued that this was impossible, as wealth isn’t finite and there is no such thing as transfer of wealth, just creation of new wealth.
I don’t know what the fuck he thought “wealth” was based on…perhaps bunny rabbits?
I’m proud to be a Jayhawk where at least I know my state is represented by fascist homophobic racist wankers…
My old boss was from (and went back to) Manhattan Kansas. He used to like to say both ideologies are well represented in Kansas – the conservative and the ultra-conservative. His representitive regularly sent out “push polls” that were beyond blantantly stupid, with questions like “Do you favor returning more tax money to hard-working americans or stealing more money from families for federal boondoggles in California”. He said when he was a kid a politician disparaged his opponent by having an impersonator dress up as the opponent and drive a fake campaign convertible around the district with black people in the back.
Which is why incorporating Spanish into our everyday lives is, like, liberal fascism.
Porque? No entiendo.
My old boss was from (and went back to) Manhattan Kansas. He used to like to say both ideologies are well represented in Kansas – the conservative and the ultra-conservative.
Well, that’s because he lived in fucking Manhattan. Liberal-ass hippies dominate Lawrence, and there are quite a few in Johnson County.
But, yeah, Kansas is nuts.
“In Kansas, the Republican will win the general election. The question is who — Jerry Moran or Todd Tiahrt. The distance between the two men may only be inches on some issues…”
That may be but the distance between Joan Heffington and everyone else is measured in light years.
The crazy doesn’t run in Kansas, it practically gallops.
How far right can you go before you before you end up in a parallel universe? I mean, honestly.
I remember reading something from a conservative that argued that this was impossible, as wealth isn’t finite and there is no such thing as transfer of wealth, just creation of new wealth.
To the extent that you convert a non-monetary product, like, say, aluminum ore (that’s aluminium, to our Brit readers) into a usable product in exchange for cash, wealth is created.
In this case, however, and as is true with much of the American economy, wealth has become largely transferred between classes and nations. There is less wealth creation and more wealth hoarding than ever before.
This is why dismantling the estate tax was ludicrous. It was one thing when someone sweats for their wealth: owning a farm, or building a company. It’s another thing when wealth is merely stolen in small lumps from millions of others.
Measuring distance – an ode to Erickson.
Porque? No entiendo.
Como? Donde esta la biblioteca?
But, yeah, if you’re going to contend that language grows and changes based on circumstances and that’s *good*, then you have to admit that culture itself can grow and change and language is a part of it.
Okay, so it was kind of a stretch, especially since we’re all already aware of conservatives’ ideological and “intellectual” inconsistencies.
“In February, she said, she learned operatives implanted microchips in a man who had refused to give the government a lucrative invention he had created. The microchips were transported through a window and into the man’s body using a satellite, she said. ‘The technology is so advanced that they can do it that way,” she said.
The mind wobbles! © Kelly Bundy 1994
The crazy doesn’t run in Kansas, it practically gallops.
Part of this is because of Operation Rescue. No, really.
Hey now! “English” is a “living” “language”
Forsooth, what dost thou mean?
Beck’s blackboard chart of abject st00pit sez:
Redistribute wealth upward YAY!
Redistribute downward SOCALIST!
Don’t forget, living wage jobs and like, making stuff, is bad bad bad.
“In February, she said, she learned operatives implanted microchips in a man who had refused to give the government a lucrative invention he had created. The microchips were transported through a window and into the man’s body using a satellite, she said. ‘The technology is so advanced that they can do it that way,” she said.
In all seriousness…to whom do I surrender?
I can’t compete! I can’t raise my level of comedy and snark that high to make any comment or statement as inherent ludicrous and silly as this.
Robin Williams? Steve Martin? Victoria Jackson? To whom????
In that pict, it looks like the flag behind Joan Heffington is one of those gold fringed flags that signal to everyone that you are not run of the mill crazy but somewhere out there around L2.
“The crazy doesn’t run in Kansas, it practically gallops.”
Ten points for anyone who can guess what film that’s from… come on! It’s easy!
And I’d gladly stand up
Next to you and defend pounds still today,
Damn British loyalists still don’t want to admit we won the revolution.
To the extent that you convert a non-monetary product, like, say, aluminum ore (that’s aluminium, to our Brit readers) into a usable product in exchange for cash, wealth is created.
Sure, but there’s still only a finite amount of resources to convert into usable products. And the more wealth you have, the easier it is to acquire and make use of those resources. Thus, this: “[t]here is less wealth creation and more wealth hoarding than ever before” occurs ultimately in the system we have anyway. Republicans are just rushing it along, like everything else that’s likely to destroy us someday.
Hm, and I thought I was in a good mood today…
Our job this year as conservatives is to put some distance between us and the left. In doing so, it is our job to push the Senate Republican to the right.
Forget where the majority are, the dictates of law, logic, and common sense, etc, it’s all about our need to dictate the stupidest possible outcome on even the pettiest of issues.
Whilst on others, they boldly thrust together and apart, again and again with a hammy slappida-slappida sound, with the back of Tiahrt’s toupée coming partly aloft on the outstroke
At this point I disturbed a very important business call so SHAME ON YOU!
Why, it’s a little piece of legislation slipped into appropriations bills that restricts cities’ abilities to trace guns used in crimes therein.
So Erick’s favorite is a complete wanking nutcase who will use tactics righties will call dirty tricks when others do them to do something so stupid and unnecessary it causes brains to leak if you try to think about it too long. Well now THERE’S a surprise. Thanks be to GOD that an endorsement from Erick has so far proven to be the kiss of DEATH.
Forsooth, what dost thou mean?
Ic eom spakef e modgidanc off th Anglefolc laedenspraec.
In all seriousness…to whom do I surrender?
DKW’s mom, or your nearest FEMA “re-education” camp.
I can’t compete! I can’t raise my level of comedy and snark that high to make any comment or statement as inherent ludicrous and silly as this.
Try this: Get yourself about 15 hits of acid, a bunch of cheap wine (not that uppity boxed shit, we’re talking Mad Dog here), a bunch of weed, and a bottle of diet pills. Put the acid in the wine, chug it. Build a campire with the weed, take one diet pill every 30 to 40 minutes. Run the Beck show on an endless loop. After 4 or 5 days, you’ll start coming up with some cool shit like this.
“The crazy doesn’t run in Kansas, it practically gallops.”
Arsenic and Old Lace, but slightly altered.
Try this: Get yourself about 15 hits of acid, a bunch of cheap wine (not that uppity boxed shit, we’re talking Mad Dog here), a bunch of weed, and a bottle of diet pills. Put the acid in the wine, chug it. Build a campire with the weed, take one diet pill every 30 to 40 minutes. Run the Beck show on an endless loop. After 4 or 5 days, you’ll start coming up with some cool shit like this.
Dude, that was the 1973 Boy Scout Jamboree! That shit has a half life!
Does this not look exactly like Europe, 1918 to 1936? How does it become fashionable to be a completely ignorant waste of food and air? I vote we vote them off the island.
Dude, that was the 1973 Boy Scout Jamboree!
Dammit, all we did in Girl Scouts was make dumbass crafts. Not fair.
Dude, that was the 1973 Boy Scout Jamboree! That shit has a half life!
Side effects include dry mouth, vomiting, lack of bowel control, and membership in the Tea Party. Racism was exhibited in about half of the test subjects. Other negative effects included paranoia, inability to distinguish between patriotism and nationalism, and an inexplicable affinity for fried foods and bagged potato chips.
DIng ding ding! That’s right actor, which incidentally is the sound that Joan makes when she’s comin’ ’round the bend.
At this point I disturbed a very important business call so SHAME ON YOU!
Lazy union worker.
Racism was exhibited in about half of the test subjects.
Only half? Think you need to examine your research methods…what was your sample size?
“Does this not look exactly like Europe, 1918 to 1936?”
Not exactly though. First time tragedy, second time farce. I don’t think we’ll have the same outcome (cross your fingers). I’m hoping the conservatives hang on to that boat anchor and ride it all the way to the bottom of the ocean.
Sure, but there’s still only a finite amount of resources to convert into usable products.
Not necessarily. If you limit your search to what’s available on this planet, then yes. Once you extend your manufacturing base and outsource to Galaxy Zed Zed Alpha, you find you have an infinite amount of resources.
Not necessarily. If you limit your search to what’s available on this planet, then yes. Once you extend your manufacturing base and outsource to Galaxy Zed Zed Alpha, you find you have an infinite amount of resources.
I’m sorry. I’m off my game. Joan took the wind out of my sails.
Only half? Think you need to examine your research methods…what was your sample size?
The test method, in my opinion, was entirely too subjective. It was unable to distinguish between blatant, vocal racism and latent hostility and fear. Every test subject believed him/herself to be part of an oppressed group of heartland whites, targeted for extermination by someone they called “Obamahomobinladin”. Several of our test technicians died of laughter. We aborted the test.
Not necessarily. If you limit your search to what’s available on this planet, then yes. Once you extend your manufacturing base and outsource to Galaxy Zed Zed Alpha, you find you have an infinite amount of resources.
Oh. I thought the answer was “We don’t give a fuck because Jesus will come back before everything runs out anyway.”
“Joan took the wind out of my sails.”
Is that what the kids are calling it these days…
The test method, in my opinion, was entirely too subjective. It was unable to distinguish between blatant, vocal racism and latent hostility and fear. Every test subject believed him/herself to be part of an oppressed group of heartland whites, targeted for extermination by someone they called “Obamahomobinladin”. Several of our test technicians died of laughter. We aborted the test.
Damn, I don’t know how you even got IRB approval in the first place.
Sample size was about 100. They were remarkably easy to find. Just left a trail of Cheetos and Nascar memorabilia and they came flooding in.
Damn, I don’t know how you even got IRB approval in the first place.
We went rogue. We figured that Vioxx thing worked so well we’d try it ourselves. Get the dividends while the gettin’s good, I always say.
Did they receive any compensation, such as tax cuts or Medicare?
Oh. I thought the answer was “We don’t give a fuck because Jesus will come back before everything runs out anyway.”
He’s gonna be pissed that we fucked up his rental property.
We aborted the test.
Every test should be a wanted test.
He’s gonna be pissed that we fucked up his rental property.
Yeah, I don’t think we’re going to get our deposit back.
I remember reading something from a conservative that argued that this was impossible, as wealth isn’t finite and there is no such thing as transfer of wealth, just creation of new wealth.
I don’t know what the fuck he thought “wealth” was based on…perhaps bunny rabbits?
I think I’ve read that one too. Was it this (http://pajamasmedia.com/ejectejecteject/2008/09/19/trinity-part-1-2/)?
The relevant part was here;
This is when you start realizing that the utopians living in lalaland aren’t who you think they are…
Did they receive any compensation, such as tax cuts or Medicare?
Oddly enough, 88 of them were on food stamps. The remainder had rickets from a steady diet of Top Ramen and mac ‘n cheese.
Thanks be to GOD that an endorsement from Erick has so far proven to be the kiss of DEATH.
All the same, I’d feel better if Troofus were to throw out an endorsement for every conservative candidate out there too. Maybe even a bookmark alert.
The relevant part was here;
Again, jealous. I SO wish I was that high right now.
I think I’ve read that one too. Was it this (http://pajamasmedia.com/ejectejecteject/2008/09/19/trinity-part-1-2/)?
Maybe not exactly that, but the same idea…yes, you dipfuckingshit, you created that wealth out of thin air. Holy shit.
Wealth can be created of course… by labor, but we don’t want to mention that because the workers who create the real wealth might get the idea that they should have a bigger cut. Can’t have that.
Where did the $999,898.69 come from? It came from thin air! You created it, out of nothing. You added value to the stock of paper and ink you started with. From the monumental talent you possess, the gift of intellect, the pen that made Shakespeare weep with envy, you have created WB3. You’ve given millions of people two hours of side-splitting hilarity, for which they will part with $8.00… and you have created wealth
….by taking wealth from 125,000 other Americans who chose to spend their money on your movie, which forced them to make a choice of voting with their dollars. Note that they received no material benefit from your movie, nor can they go out and use your movie to make more money to replace the money you’ve taken from them.
Where did the $999,898.69 come from? It came from thin air! You created it, out of nothing…. You’ve given millions of people two hours of side-splitting hilarity, for which they will part with $8.00
And they were all forgers.
And they were all forgers.
I don’t think their nationality comes into play, whether they are from Mexico, Sweden or Forgeway.
….by taking wealth from 125,000 other Americans who chose to spend their money on your movie, which forced them to make a choice of voting with their dollars. Note that they received no material benefit from your movie, nor can they go out and use your movie to make more money to replace the money you’ve taken from them.
BUT that money was also used to pay the teenage concession stand workers who used it to buy sneakers and t-shirts made in China and cheap beer made from corn that was subsidized by the government!
I don’t think their nationality comes into play, whether they are from Mexico, Sweden or Forgeway.
And to think: I decided not to make a Folger’s coffee joke because I thought it was too silly.
BUT that money was also used to pay the teenage concession stand workers
No, no, no. The teenage concession stand workers manufacture their money out of thin air by giving people popcorn.
….by taking wealth from 125,000 other Americans who chose to spend their money on your movie, which forced them to make a choice of voting with their dollars. Note that they received no material benefit from your movie, nor can they go out and use your movie to make more money to replace the money you’ve taken from them.
Exactly.
If his example is how we’re supposed to measure wealth, then the conclusion is that wealth cannot be created… only redistributed. Voluntarily redistributed, in the forms of people paying movie tickets, but the point is, as you pointed out, that no new wealth has been created.
I decided not to make a Folger’s coffee joke because I thought it was too silly.
I’m recovering from Joan’s blow.
“You write the script for Weekend at Bernies 3: Bernie’s Revenge!: free.”
Ah no… not free. That represents your intellectual labor and a lifetime of experience and training with what jokes and gags people enjoy and how to properly write a script for the movies and so on. So no, creative labor isn’t that different that physical labor. You are not making something from thin air, you are drawing on your resources as a human being. It just looks like magic to the mouth breathers but it’s real work to produce a script or novel that people like.
“Try this: Get yourself about 15 hits of acid, a bunch of cheap wine (not that uppity boxed shit, we’re talking Mad Dog here), a bunch of weed, and a bottle of diet pills. Put the acid in the wine, chug it. Build a campire with the weed, take one diet pill every 30 to 40 minutes. Run the Beck show on an endless loop. After 4 or 5 days, you’ll start coming up with some cool shit like this.”
Quit stalking me!
If his example is how we’re supposed to measure wealth, then the conclusion is that wealth cannot be created… only redistributed. Voluntarily redistributed, in the forms of people paying movie tickets, but the point is, as you pointed out, that no new wealth has been created.
It’s Roger Hell Simon, failed screenwriter and Hollywood “fox at sour grapes” scorner. It’s a bad example and indicative of why he was a fucking failure.
I’m recovering from Joan’s blow.
What? She told me she didn’t have any.
BUT that money was also used to pay the teenage concession stand workers who used it to buy sneakers and t-shirts made in China and cheap beer made from corn that was subsidized by the government!
Look, any writer who makes a million dollars from a movie script is either also the producer OR the movie made about a billion dollars. The rest of the money gets
put in the studio’s vaultdistributed to the other people involved.The classic example of how wealth is created is farming. A farmer plows his land, seeds it, and carefully tends the food he grows until he can bring it to market and sell it at a profit.
The profit is his wealth. He created money literally out of dirt.
The example Roger Hell posits, as others point out, is not entirely free. It’s the culmination of your knowledge, experience, and likely the yeoman work you did building a reputation among studios and literary agents who greenlighted your script to advance to the people who actually make the decision to produce the movie.
And THOSE people have their own knowledge and experience that they drawn upon to judge that they can, indeed, pay you a million dollars.
In other words, you haven’t profited. You’ve earned a wage which is specifically about creating wealth, not for yourself, no matter how lucrative your paycheck was, but FOR THE STUDIO.
What? She told me she didn’t have any.
Not have. Gave.
The idea that whomever wrote the script for “Bernies 3: Bernie’s Revenge!” was rewarded with a million dollars instead of being thrown from a helicopter is just plain silly.
“Puffie”?
I know, what the fuck. They will ban someone in a heartbeat on RedState for merely pointing out a factual error, but somebody who posts instructions telling people to send fake anthrax to the government on every fucking thread on the site gets to stick around.
Ok, I’ve written the script for Weekend at Bernie’s 3. (And just to keep you all ahead of the curve, the next big catchphase to sweep the nation is going to be “Eeeewww, what’s that smell?) Now where’s my million dollars???
The idea that whomever wrote the script for “Bernies 3: Bernie’s Revenge!” was rewarded with a million dollars instead of being thrown from a helicopter is just plain silly.
You haven’t refuted his example, though! He would still create wealth because somebody has to rent a helicopter and pay someone to fly it!
Oh, excuse me. I meant “refudiated,” not “refuted.” How embarrassing.
Hah! I wrote a trilogy of prequels to Weekend at Bernie’s. Everything you thought you knew about Bernie, weekends and the word ‘at’ is wrong! What should I buy with my $3000000?
Now where’s my million dollars???
MEMO:
TO: All Hollywood studios
FROM: Actor212
RE: Treatment for Weekend at Bernie’s 3
CC: Sirius Lunacy
It has come to my attention that included in the above referenced “original” script are several thefts of intellectual property.
For example, in Scene 64 (The Pool Bar), the character Junkpuncho is based almost entirely on my character “Junko, The Junk Punching Wallaby” from the television series in development with Cartoon Network “Shameless Ripoffs Of Bad Ideas”.
There are myriad other “coincidences” of which my lawyer will be presenting a bill of attainder from the California state legislature…
I wrote a trilogy of prequels
Last guy who did that became the most hated man in Hollywood.
Last guy who did that became the most hated man in Hollywood.
Perhaps so, but he sure didn’t lose any money doing it either.
I don’t think their nationality comes into play, whether they are from Mexico, Sweden or Forgeway.
HA! Awesome
Quit stalking me!
No, I don’t think so.
There are myriad other “coincidences” of which my lawyer will be presenting a bill of attainder from the California state legislature…
Damn socialist! Trying to redistribute my wealth.
I wrote a trilogy of prequels
Last guy who did that became the most hated man in Hollywood.
Andrew Breitbart?
No, I don’t think so.
How nice. Forthright, yet polite stalkers are such a rarity nowadays.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
July 27, 2010 at 16:16 (kill)
I’m proud to be a Jayhawk
You’re Karen Grotberg?
Now ya done triggered a ceasendesist! What now, bitchez?
How nice. Forthright, yet polite stalkers are such a rarity nowadays.
We’re not well received at the Stalker’s Guild.
Perhaps so, but he sure didn’t lose any money doing it either.
No reward is worth this.
I’m proud to be a Jayhawk
Shouldn’t that be Kayhawk. I mean, it’s not Jansas.
“somebody has to rent a helicopter and pay someone to fly it”
Damn! I cannot argue against your logic!
Hah! I wrote a trilogy of prequels to Weekend at Bernie’s. Everything you thought you knew about Bernie, weekends and the word ‘at’ is wrong! What should I buy with my $3000000?
Well, conventionally speaking, you should buy a senate seat so that you can protect that wealth from the dusky hordes trying to distribute it out of your hard working pocket.
Now ya done triggered a ceasendesist! What now, bitchez?
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
It’s a boardin’ partay! Take no prisoners!
It’s a boardin’ partay! Take no prisoners!
Yo ho ho and a pack of gum! Yarrrrrgh!
Yo ho ho and a pack of gum! Yarrrrrgh!
Matey…Oi t’ink ye want the Veggietales movie, next set ovarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Hm. The pirate talk comes out and everyone scatters. We’re not REAL pirates, you guys.
I have nothing good to say about pirate voices.
We’re not REAL pirates, you guys.
Hence the global warming.
Hence the global warming
OK, I gotta ask: What fucking febrile brain dreamed that connection up???
What fucking febrile brain dreamed that connection up???
Venganza. I should have known.
OK, I gotta ask: What fucking febrile brain dreamed that connection up???
Febrile? Febrile like a fox!
no, seriously it was the same guy that dreamed up the flying spaghetti monster.
http://www.venganza.org/
There are 17 pirates left in the world?
There are 17 pirates left in the world?
Not if you count ass pirates.
(Yes. I’m sorry).
Ok, so what’s the plot look like when you substitute pilates for pirates huh? Huh?
“July 27, 2010 at 17:55
No, I don’t think so.
How nice. Forthright, yet polite stalkers are such a rarity nowadays.”
Lol.right? All that’s missing is a “good day, Madam.”
There are 17 pirates left in the world?
That would explain why Pittsburgh can’t buy a World Series win.
Why write Weekend at Bernie’s III when I can just remake the original? Idiots.
“Not if you count ass pirates.”
Ah you are mistaken, those are butthole surfers
“tsam said,
July 27, 2010 at 18:03
Hm. The pirate talk comes out and everyone scatters. We’re not REAL pirates, you guys.”
I imagined a guy saying that in a weary annoyed voice and it made me laugh. “GUUUUUUUUYS, we’re not REAL pirates!!”
Can’t believe it hasn’t been done
It’s just a jump to the left
and then a cubit to the right
put your hands on your inch…
and pull your knees in Tiahrt
We’re not REAL pirates, you guys
Are you sure? ’cause I hear Actor212 works in finance.
“Are you sure? ’cause I hear Actor212 works in finance”
You haven’t given him any money, have you?
“GUUUUUUUUYS, we’re not REAL pirates!!”
I was going for whiney. WIN
Ah no… not free. That represents your intellectual labor and a lifetime of experience and training with what jokes and gags people enjoy and how to properly write a script for the movies and so on.
Also too, the time it took that could have been spent actually WORKING.
Ok, so what’s the plot look like when you substitute pilates for pirates huh? Huh?
The Dread Reformer Roberts?
Ah no… not free. That represents your intellectual labor and a lifetime of experience and training with what jokes and gags people enjoy and how to properly write a script for the movies and so on.
If’n he really wanted an example of creating wealth out of thin air he should have used the lottery for an example.
Tiahrt is missing a vowel, which makes me wonder what else he is missing. There is more to life than consonants, though.
It’s just a jump to the left
and then a cubit to the right
put your hands on your inch…
and pull your knees in Tiahrt
But it’s the CNN show that really shows you’re insay-ay-ay-ay-ane
Let’s do the Erik again!
Also, is “Tiahrt” pronounced “tard?”
Well, the vocabularly is wrong for this… he isn’t talking about how wealth is created, but how money is created. Which he also got wrong. So by randtard logic, he is now right about the whole thing.
Both money and wealth can be created – most of the money is created byt the government introducing more money into the system. This money is distributed at the top of the system through a variety of financial instruments to the insanely rich and banks; if it were to be introduced into the system by mailing everyone checks, it would of course be much more effective at helping the real economy. As it is, that money just gets used to buy other pogs and never helps anyone who isn’t a pog trader.
Wealth can be created through labor, and through money hording/investing. Its two different kinds of wealth, and in some cases it can be hard to get money from the wealth, but thats how I see things.
At least from my perspective.
The senders of the letters mix different powders
of things found around the house and are very
careful to not leave any finger prints on the
letters and to seal the letters with a damp cloth.
Of course, use a bogus return address.
This last cannot be over emphasized.
I, myself am going to send a brightly colored powder, like ground up fizzies or the powder from those candy-sticks my daughter likes. No, scratch those: KOOKAID! I mean Koolaid.
It just looks like magic to the mouth breathers but it’s real work to produce a script or novel that people like.
Of course it is, never mind the $60,000 in student loan debt that was required to get the education to learn how to write good comedy. Unless of course you are a wingnut in which case your wealthy parents paid the bill and you drank your way through class and you don’t need to produce anything for the rest of your life anyway but useless blogs. But I digress.
The bankers were kind enough to lend you the cash that paid the school to teach you how to construct sentences better than me and how to understand the social process well enough to clamor among the hordes that have scripts to peddle just like you.
And after five years of slaving at your ten scripts and working as a waiter you finally get the big break, but its taken away because you now owe $160,000 to the government for your student loans when the interest, late fees and collection costs are added in.
So you hump back up the stairs to your third-floor flat to get to bed in time to enough sleep to make it work ontime tomorrow to serve a party of ten spoiled frat boys who rented a table to talk about the creation of wealth in this fine free market system.
Are you sure? ’cause I hear Actor212 works in finance.
I’m benevolent! I’m more of a privateer than a pirate!
I invest in renewable energy! OK, it’s with the Carlyle Group, but still!
Oh I’m sorry, that should have read $1,600,000 in student loan debt that you owe.
You thought you were going to get away easy didn’t you? Aren’t you glad also that the free market banking system has taken over the student loan process and that grants are no longer available?
Especially considering that you’ve finally figured out that writing comedy is the joke itself and you’d have served your interests better if you had just gone to nursing school and been a part of the health-care racket that is also bleeding you dry because you broke your leg biking to work (because you don’t have the talent those frat boys have and can’t afford a car you lazy bum).
NASCAR! I never understood the appeal. Its loud and boring to watch, and, unlike baseball, it isn’t fun to “play”. I mean, who wants to be the fastest one on Earth if you only drive in circles? But now I think about it, it’s PERFECT for right wingers in every way. Loud, boring, and a mixture of futile+”we’re number 1!”
because you don’t have the talent those frat boys have and can’t afford a car you lazy bum
Hey, brokerage houses pay good money for a guy who can light his own farts.
Ok, I’ve written the script for Weekend at Bernie’s 3.
Typical socialist, blithely defrauding the people who hold intellectual property rights over the “Weekend at Bernies” characters and concept.
“In all seriousness…to whom do I surrender?”
“I can’t compete! I can’t raise my level of comedy and snark that high to make any comment or statement as inherent ludicrous and silly as this.”
Surrenender Here:
3701 W. 12th Street in Topeka, KS
For More Informaton:
http://www.godhatesfags.com/
Right under the skywriting that says SURRENDER FRIENDS OF DOROTHY.