Pam Geller issues a stern warning to attendees of her next big she-man-Muslim-hating club gathering:
We will be confiscating signs. It is a solemn day. No signs. FLAGS. Tens of thousands of flags.
ABOVE: Anita the Crane and Anita the Ostrich
Anita Crane, Wingnut Daily
Glenn Beck crowd: Not so white as advertised
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Tim Graham, who is Brent Bozell’s butt boy and assistant searcher of “fuck” at Dirtywordburster.org, did not like my post on “Fuck You” one bit, so he took a few moments from stuffing his cheeks to send me this tweet defending the honor of his wingnut welfare sugar daddy Brent Bozell:
I mean, what’s up with that, other than being a lame attempt at a homophobic swipe? For the record, Tintin doesn’t wear capri pants. He wears plus fours. But if Tintin did wear capri pants he’d still be butcher in them than Tim Graham in his butchest outfit, which probably consists of — (horrifying image alert) — size forty-six jeans and a pizza-stained wife-beater. And if Tim Graham were a real man and if he had any balls, he’d simply call me a “cocksucking faggot” and dispense with the little school-girl jibe about capri pants.
The real howler in Timmy’s little whiny-ass, titty-baby Tweet is that Bozell was just “asking for a little decency.” Ha! The fucknozzles at Fuckbusters wouldn’t know decency if it walked up to them and whacked them upside the head with a two-by-four. Decency isn’t about who says “fuck” and who doesn’t say “fuck.” No, it’s about unemployment benefits, health care, adequate nutrition for poor kids, equal rigts for all (including the right for us cocksucking faggots to get married), and all the other things that twist up Brent’s and Tim’s titties each time they see a newspaper article that treats any of these things favorably.
So, to paraphrase what I said in my last post: “Fuck You, Tim, and the sugar daddy douchebag you rode in on.”
Naughty word count: fuck(8), butt(2), cocksucking(3), titty(3), ass(2), douchebag(2).
Gay-bashing born-again glam rock Broadway poofters are a dime a dozen, but Bradlee Dean may just be something special. After all, how many GBBAGRBP’s can say they’re the guiding force behind such a rolls-off-the-tongue Christian ‘hard rock ministry’ as YCRBYCHI?
And how many have been forced to walk back their public praise of African nations that execute homosexuals? Your garden variety GBBAGRBP probably doesn’t even have the stones to side with any African on anything in the first place.
Fortunately for us, Bradlee has a blog that he sporadically updates. There’s nothing terribly exciting about his most recent updates beyond the de rigueur quoting of scripture to punctuate a point, but this post from several months ago deserves another look:
Atheist vs. Godly
Bradlee Dean’s Blog : May 29 2010
Max Jukes, an atheist, lived a godless life. He married an ungodly girl, and from their union there were 310 who died as paupers, 150 criminals, 7 murderers, 100 drunkards, and more than half of the women were prostitutes! His 567 descendants cost the state one and a quarter million dollars (please keep in mind that this was a LOT of money in the 1700’s).
But, praise God, it works both ways! There was also a great American man of God named Jonathan Edwards. He lived at the same times as Max Jukes, but he married a godly girl. An investigation was made of 1,394 known descendants of Jonathan Edwards of which 13 became college presidents, 65 college professors, 3 United States senators, 30 judges, 100 lawyers, 60 physicians, 75 army and navy officers, 100 preachers and missionaries, 60 authors of prominence, one vice president of the United States, 80 became public officials in various capacities, and 295 college graduates, among whom were governors of states and ministers to foreign countries. Jonathan Edwards’ descendants did not cost the state a single penny.
Told you Bradlee was special — it takes a rare mind to conclude that several hundred government salaries and pensions ‘did not cost the state a single penny’. (And that’s assuming that none of the dozens of college presidents and professors toiled at any public institutions.)
Of course, Bradlee isn’t so much concluding here as cutting-and-pasting a thoroughly debunked bit of 19th-century eugenicist claptrap.
So maybe he’s not so special after all.
Glenn Beck’s ‘Restoring Honor’ schtick is reminiscent of the last time wingnuts danced to this particular beat — when another Democrat was in the White House supposedly staining the majesty of the office by getting his schlong waxed by the world’s most famous intern.
Interesting, because back then, the movement to ‘restore honor’ to the presidency and the country itself wasn’t nearly so cryptic. Clinton was actually getting blowjobs in the Oval Office after all — you may feel the outrage over that was ginned up and ultimately a massive distraction, but it was in fact happening.
In contrast, what has Barack Obama done that requires America’s honor to be restored? No one has thus far shown that he’s broken his vows with Michelle or otherwise been up to anything we might loosely find inappropriate during his presidency.
It’s a good question, because one might be forced to conclude that for rightwingers, an idle black cock kept faithfully in its owner’s pants is equivalent (or even worse) in its perfidy to a throbbing white one physically poking its way into all manner of extra-marital receptacles.
It’s all about the nature of the threat, you see. A white guy literally shoving his package down people’s throats is bad enough — what’s really scary is a black guy doing it metaphorically.
I caught Glenn Beck on the tube today — not the Million Moron March thing, but a Fox show in front of a studio audience in which Beck and some other crackpot tried to wrestle out how George Washington could have possibly been a Freemason (long story short, they concluded that Washington was a Mason before Masons became the embodiment of evil, so he was still pure of heart, and then Beck joked about how the Illuminati was going to kill them for saying that, only he wasn’t really joking).
In other words, a real history lesson.
Then Beck took questions from the audience, and one young woman pointed out that America’s founders risked their lives for liberty and she wondered if Beck knew any modern-day politicians who had done or would do the same.
Beck’s answer: Michelle Bachmann. I shit you not. He could have said Max Cleland or John Kerry — hell, he could have just mentioned John McCain if he wanted to stick to one side of the aisle. And you could tell even he knew his answer was really, really bad even as he was explaining his reasoning (Bachmann’s super brave because she says her stupid shit even though there’s a slim chance that some lefty out there is plotting to to teepee her house or something).
It’s like Roy’s commenter Kia Penso wisely said: ‘It’s not even that what he peddles is shit to sane people, it’s shit to his people too. But Beck’s audience can’t even recognize that, they think shit is what they are supposed to get…’
Here at Sadly, No! we’ve long documented1 Brent Bozell’s crusade against “jungle” music over at the whiter-than-white Newsblusterer’s website. (Try to find a black blogger there, okay?). Equally, Bozell (and his fellow Newsblusterers) are obsessed with appearances of naughty words like shit, bullshit, douche, and fuck2, and even some words like “$#*!” that aren’t even naughty but which might make some people think of an actual naughty word. (One wonders whether fudge can ever be on the menu over at the Bozell household. And does the euphemism “white meat” solve the “breast” problem? I mean who can hear “white meat” without thinking “breast” or “nipples” or, best of all, “titties”? And let’s not even get started on “coq au vin.”)
So you can just imagine how a perpetual scold like Bozell got his own titties in a twist when he learned that a Negro “soul singer” had written a song titled “Fuck You.”
The soul singer Cee-Lo Green has a new album coming out. How’s this for art: His first desperate single is titled “F—- You.”
I don’t think a song with 3 million hits on YouTube is “desperate.” I’ll tell you what’s desperate, Brent. Desperate is a desiccated old prude whose only job apparently is to sniff out naughty words and blog about how awful they are. Here’s a new project for you, Brent: Canterbury Tales. We can talk about how desperate Chaucer was. And you can add “fart” to your repertoire of words to blog about.
The entire song is obscene. It’s stuffed with 16 uses of the F-bomb in under four minutes, erupting on average once every 14 seconds. It also has 10 uses of the S-word, and even two uses of “nigga.”
You really have to admire Bozell imperiling his immortal soul by poring over the lyrics of the song to count how often “fuck” and “shit” appear. (The concern-trolling by Bozell over “nigga” is also a nice touch). To save Brent the trouble, here is the naughty word count for this post: fuck (8), shit (5), titties (2), bullshit (2), $#*! (2), a@@ (2), douche (2), fudge (2), breast (2), nipples (2), tender muffins (2), fart (2), Astroglide (2).
The fact that the song is catchy and bright only heightens the offense.
Apparently the catchy “fuck you” chorus drilled itself into Bozell’s brain and for the rest of the day he kept hearing it over and over. Teehee. Probably even humming “fuck you” every now and then. Then taking more of the meds that had been prescribed for him to deal with intrusive thoughts. That’s reason enough to download the song.
But, as usual, the Wanna Be Hip critics love it, even with that manure attached. The Wall Street Journal cooed it “may be the best rock and pop single of the year.”
You just imagine how the praise from Rupert Murdoch’s right-wing paper must have toasted Bozell’s tender muffins.
Team Cee-Lo claims they’re going to prepare a radio edit called “Forget You” to avoid alienating too many station managers. How thoughtful. But that only raises the obvious question: Why not call it “Forget You” from the very beginning?
Uh, Brent, maybe because “fuck you” is funnier? Speaking of which, fuck you, Brent. Really. Without Astroglide. Or a reach around.
Shorter Peter Wehner, Neo-contentious
On Ken Mehlman
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Shorter Assrocket, Power Line
Who’s Stupid?
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
ShorterVerbatim James Taranto, The Wall Street Journal
Who Is Michael Enright?
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™