Sadly, No!

Above: Kaiser’s Chief predicts a riot.

Shorter Max Boot
Pods & Putzes Magazine
“Paying a Political Price in Great Britain”

• Defense cuts have sadly limited Great Britain’s ability to murder as many extranational wogs as it used to, and now it’s obvious that the same kind of cuts to police forces have limited its ability to brutally repress its domestic wogs, who are a typically riotous species of subhuman and only understand force.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

ABOVE: Anthony (A.M.) Daniels aka Theodore Dalrymple

Shorter Theodore Newton Percival Dalrymple IV, City Journal:
British Degeneracy on Parade

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

ABOVE: Heather Mac Donald

Heather Mac Donald, City Journal
Back To The Future on Poverty

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

ABOVE: Moe Lane

Shorter Moe Lane, Red State:
A hopefully helpful ‘stimulus’ analogy

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

ABOVE: Erik Olsen

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Well, well, Dan and Bruce, the Dumb and Dumberer of gay wingnuts, have given full Gay Patriot posting privileges to Hollywood NeoCon, one of their legion of dimwitted commenters, who now calls himself Eric Olsen and has decided to let us know why so many black gay men are becoming infected with HIV. Since we can reasonably assume that Gay “Patriot,” a blog run by a bunch of white middle-aged unattractive wingnuts who dubiously claim to be homosexual, has no more than two gay black readers, it is also reasonable to assume that Eric is not discussing gay black HIV rates to provide helpful information to black gay men.

No, indeedy, Eric is discussing black HIV rates to bolster his point that black gays are mindless Mandingoes that just can’t keep their unsheathed dicks in their pants no matter how many times they are told to.

So, if I understand Fenton correctly, a young black man decides to have unprotected sex because he’s a poverty-stricken victim of homophobia and discrimination? Really? Is he asserting that an erection and impulsiveness have no part in how one acquires this life-threatening disease? … Dr. Fenton, … if you truly believe you can blame the rest of us and continue to ignore the reckless irresponsibility of those who are apparently incapable of thinking beyond gratifying their immediate desires, then perhaps, by your standards, it is you who should be held accountable.

Of course, this being Gay Patriot, no post is complete without a swipe at teh gays as well. Not worried particularly about such niceties as logical consistency, Erik is determined to blame Black HIV rates on the wicked non-Republican gays at the same time he’s blaming it on the wild and irrepressible jungle-driven sex drive of the crazed Negro gays. He does that by asking this rhetorical question with a mystifying (and NSFW) link:

Militant gay culture has nothing to do with it whatsoever?

There really is no telling why Erik links militant gay culture to a Google search for Chicago bath houses. Perhap Erik meant to link something else and accidentally linked to one of his own, er, non-academic searches. Perhaps a post about irresponsible sex-crazed gay Negros got Erik all fappity-fappity and he was looking for a release somewhere other than on his own Barcalounger. Or perhaps he’s trying to say that gay liberals build bathhouses for the purpose of luring black gays to their own self destruction, proving yet again that gay liberals are — you can see this one coming, can’t you? — the real racists and the real homophobes. Or perhaps Erik is just trying to snatch the title of America’s Dumbest Homosexual™ from his buddy Dan.

Above: Blamelessness personified.

Shorter Clifford May
America’s Shittiest Website
“Who’s to Blame for Terrorism?”

• By demonizing peaceful, moderate wingnuts who constantly urge the U.S. Government to murder as many Muslims as possible, it’s the editors of The New York Times who actually make violence inevitable.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

Shorter Disgraced Media Baron Lord Conrad Black of DoubleCrossharbour
America’s Shittiest Website
“The Coulter-Ingraham Show”

• Ah, Ann Coulter and Laura Ingraham. [fapfapfapfapfap] Such classy, leggy, blonde young ladies. [fapfapfapfap] I should very much like to cut them a check, if you know what I mean (and I think you do).

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

We meant to get to this last week, and even though doing so now gets us a bit too much Krauthammer for one week, we would be neglecting our secret pledge by failing to highlight this from Charles “Chuckles” Krauthammer:

Obama faces two massive problems — jobs and debt. They’re both the result of his spectacularly failed Keynesian gamble: massive spending that left us a stagnant economy with high and chronic unemployment — and a staggering debt burden.

Of course! The staggering $14 trillion debt is the result of a one-time, $787 billion stimulus program. And it goes without saying, really, that government spending causes unemployment. If stimulus spending reduces economic growth, what else can you expect?

Upside: Looks like The Atlantic has a new economics editor ready if Megan ever gets canned. Then again, maybe Chuckles was going for a variation on the classic “it’s not a fact, it’s a hypothetical.”

Blarg, Fred Hiatt’s WaPo denounces uniquely greedy Iranian plutocrats!:

Iran’s rich eat ice cream covered in gold as poor struggle to survive

By Thomas Erdbrink, Friday, August 5, 2:02 PM

TEHRAN — Gold-flecked ice cream wasn’t part of the picture that Shiite Muslim clerics painted during the Iranian Revolution, when they promised to lift the poor by distributing the country’s vast oil income equally across society.

But more than three decades later, record oil profits have brought in billions, and some people here are enjoying that decadent dessert. The trouble is, it’s just a small group of wealthy Iranians. Despite the promises of the revolution, many here say the gap between rich and poor has never seemed bigger….

Funny, here’s a story I came across yesterday:

Even Marked Up, Luxury Goods Fly Off Shelves
By STEPHANIE CLIFFORD
Published: August 3, 2008

Nordstrom has a waiting list for a Chanel sequined tweed coat with a $9,010 price. Neiman Marcus has sold out in almost every size of Christian Louboutin “Bianca” platform pumps, at $775 a pair. Mercedes-Benz said it sold more cars last month in the United States than it had in any July in five years.

Even with the economy in a funk and many Americans pulling back on spending, the rich are again buying designer clothing, luxury cars and about anything that catches their fancy. Luxury goods stores, which fared much worse than other retailers in the recession, are more than recovering — they are zooming. Many high-end businesses are even able to mark up, rather than discount, items to attract customers who equate quality with price.

If the avarice of the Iranian elite makes them more eeeeeeeeevil — IOW, for a neoconman like Fred, more bomb-worthy — what’s that make the American elite for him? More fellatio-worthy? Discuss.

Above: Trustworthy bargainer.

Shorter Sour Krauthammer
Fred Hiatt’s Poop-Stained Trapper Keeper
“How the super-committee can strike a Grand Bargain”

• Here’s the deal: Heads we win, tails you lose. It’s all very fair and reasonable; everyone gets what they want. Suckers.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™