Sadly, No!

Breaking, breaking, breaking!

…Um, yes. Never mind. I just kinda read the headline on that one.

Hey, shut up, ok? Chestnuts are hard to peel. A pound or two of chestnuts, and you can totally get distracted.

Be sure to wish all our brothas and sistas on the inside a happy Shanksgiving, and for heaven’s sake:

“Don’t forget the gravy!

Renew America’s Edward Daley is OUTRAGED!!!! that animal rights groups are discouraging people from eating turkeys this Thanksgiving:

If you go to the ‘People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals’ (PETA ? http://www.peta.org) website you’ll find a link to an article titled “Top 10 Reasons Not to Eat Turkeys,” which begins: Pardon me, pilgrim! This Thanksgiving, how about ditching the dead bird? These beautiful, inquisitive, intelligent birds endure lives of suffering and painful deaths.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve seen plenty of live turkeys, and believe me, these animals are neither intelligent nor beautiful.

Hey, I could say the same thing about you, Ed.

“Gobble-gobble.”
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There is a cartoon strip that is less funny than Day by Day. The kids call it Gaggle.

Well, pretty close in any case. The Rant’s JB Williams argues:

Rhetorically, they drew an immediate distinction between Representative Murtha?s call to withdraw troops in six months and Republicans call to withdraw them right away. But get real ? if pulling our troops out of Iraq in six months is good, then pulling them out right away is even better.

Rhetorically speaking? Sure. Logically?

Good evening. The last scene was interesting from the point of view of a professional logician because it contained a number of logical fallacies; that is, invalid propositional constructions and syllogistic forms, of the type so often committed by my wife.

Maybe not.
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Read it and weep, folks… and then weep a whole lot more. Here’s Kaye Grogan’s latest column:

Bah-humbug . . . retailers!

Kaye Grogan
November 23, 2005

The anti-Christmas groups are gearing up again to oppose the display of nativity scenes in public and the singing of Christmas Carols.

Tell me about it. I have a whole bag of rocks sitting on my windowsill, just waiting to be hurled at unsuspecting wassailers.

And not to be outdone – there are several retailers who have joined the fight against Christmas, and in the process have become somewhat anomic.

You can tell that Kaye’s been waiting for just the right time to show off her vocabulary by using “anomic” in a sentence. To her credit, she actually uses it correctly.
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‘Newsbusters,’ it’s called.

I think we have a fresh can of Sadly, No! over there in the supply closet. Let me go check.

So okay, Cheney never said such a thing, and Cafferty (and ‘the media’) just made it up.

Oh, here it is. [pops can] Sadly, No!

Cafferty only mixed up the dates: It was in Cheney’s speech on Wednesday, November 16th, 2005, and not in his speech on Monday, November 21st, 2005, that Cheney called critiques of the Administration’s WMD story “dishonest and reprehensible,” and called Democrats “opportunists” who were peddling “cynical and pernicious falsehoods.” Then a few days later, Cheney flip-flopped and acted as though he’d been misquoted. Of course, there are transcripts kicking around for media watchdogs to review, if they care to.

It looks like Newsbusters just kinda pretty much blanked out about something that happened only a few days ago — as Republicans so easily do. It’s all about the eternal-now for those folks: You wonder how they can show up for work after a long weekend without forgetting they have a job. It must be weird always being confronted by strangers during the holidays who claim that they’re siblings or parents. Why don’t they forget to put on their pants in the morning — and angrily deny that pants exist, as they stand there with their butts hanging out? It’s a puzzlement.

So it isn’t exactly Media Matters, but they sure seem to be trying against impossible odds. And may we just add:

“Ah-oogah!”

Hey kids. Sorry I’ve been absent of late- school has been kicking my ass worse than it’s ever been kicked before. I should hopefully have a new XTREME Preach-Off by the end of the week.

At any rate, I just picked up today’s Boston Herald, and lo and behold, I found this story on the front page:

Jerry Falwell and an army of conservative lawyers drew a line in the snow yesterday, warning Boston and other cities: Don?t mess with Christmas.

And even before the first volley was fired, City Hall caved.

Just after a top lawyer for the conservative Liberty Counsel blasted the Hub?s annual ?holiday tree? ceremony, a Menino administration official scrambled to do damage control.

?This is a Christmas tree,? Boston Parks Commissioner Toni Pollak insisted about the Nova Scotia spruce the city will light Dec. 1 on historic Boston Common. ?It?s definitely a Christmas tree.?

Lame response by City Hall. A better response would’ve been, “This isn’t a holiday tree. It’s a ‘Falwell-and-his-ilk-should-be-thrown-to-the-lions-Roman-style’ tree. In fact, we’re gonna take hedge clippers and trim the tree so it’s shaped like a giant middle finger. We’ve also commissioned rapper Kool Keith to compose an official holiday carol for the city. It’s called ‘Falwell Can Munch on Deez X-Mas Nutz.'”
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So it looks like we completely chased this blog off the Internet [note: see update below] with one honk of an ah-oogah horn. Nothing left; nobody home. Crickets. A lonely train whistle sounds in the distance. A breeze sighs through the pines.

Golly.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Astute Blogger:

Ah-oogah! Ah-oogah!

(All blogs courtesy Pajamas Media, the absolute best site on the Internet.)

This one is unsettlingly reminiscent of an evil, Bible-thumping Poor Man, from the alternate Spock-with-beard universe. Don’t go there; it’ll creep you out. Let me just do the horn.

Ah-oogah! Ah-oogah!

It seems to take a day or two to completely dissolve blogs from the Internet, but sometimes you can see the effects pretty much instantly. Watch this:

Ah-OOO-gah!

http://www.overpressure.com/

Weird, huh? In a few hours even the ‘Blogs for Bush’ banners and terrorist-attack-warning graphics will start to fade into black-and-white and lose their opacity, and then… Oh crap, I almost forgot. (Thanks, Chimera!) The crucial reagent…
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Thomas Sowell writes: Torture is illegal and that’s good, but let’s not make it too illegal in case we need to torture someone one day, without intending to of course!:

Even in less extreme circumstances, and even if we don’t intend to torture the captured terrorist, does that mean that we need to reduce our leverage by informing all terrorists around the world in advance that they can stonewall indefinitely when captured, without fear of that fate?

David Limbaugh demonstrates that Democrats are evil by writing a column from the perspective of an imaginary Democrat:

What do Democrat leaders really believe concerning their “Bush lied” mantra? If you were to inject the whole lot of them with truth serum and turn them loose with microphones and recording equipment, here’s what you might hear.

Can someone really be the less talented of the Limbaugh brothers? You make the call!

Dennis Prager teaches us that the only way to be moral is to oppose liberals:

As one raised as a New York Jew (who, moreover, attended an Ivy League university) and therefore liberal — it took me a while to recognize this fatal moral characteristic of the Left. But the moment I realized it, it became immoral not to oppose leftist values.

Never say never again:

It is neither possible nor virtuous to be devoid of hatred. Even those who think it is always wrong to hate must hate hatred.

Rebecca Hagelin reminds us that Thanksgiving is the time of the year where we say thanks. Rebecca doesn’t say why she’s thankful, but the fact that her husband hasn’t left her must rank pretty high on her list:

For all their faults and foibles, our family members bring us so much enduring happiness and inspire so many happy memories that it?s hard to imagine life without them.

Added: Bonus Shorter David Frum:

Why Democrats aren’t willing to fix George Bush’s mess by outlining how to magically transform Iraq into a democracy is beyond me.

What Would J. Crew Do?

I remember complaining to Spaceham about a year ago that I could never be President now that I’ve written this diary. One too many carrot-rape jokes and nobody cares how BIG your proposed tax-cut is. He argued that while there were plenty of reasons why I could never be President?including but not limited to stupidity, ugliness, and an understanding of modern political science that ends at The West Wing, season three, disc two?he did not think that the diary was a big one, the reason being that I had done a relatively good job of keeping it anonymous, without any overt indications of who, what, where is Worker #3116.

Good times.