This story is an example of the Demonic Convergence in action: nuclear weapons, the Iranian effort to destroy Israel, Chinese complicity in international terrorism, and the Somali pirates, all rolled into one.
Remember the Iranian ship that was hijacked off the coast of Somalia a few weeks ago?
Pirates who came into contact with the unidentified cargo of the ship became seriously ill, and since then sixteen of them have died of what appears to be radiation poisoning.
Now an account of what happened has been patched together: the Iranian ship was loaded with radioactive sand from China,
and was en route to the Suez Canal and then the Mediterranean.
The goal was to blow it up off the coast of Israel and send a lethal radioactive cloud over the Jewish state during Yom Kippur.
Had it not been for the Somali free-lancers, there’s no telling what might have happened.
More Hope and Change for America…
A mentally handicapped man says that he was forced to vote for Obama when he was taken to the polls for early voting:
Whilst checking Gateway Pundit for , here’s what we immediately stepped in. You have to remember, by the way, that Gateway Pundit gets about three times the traffic we do. We’re not just picking on some poor ding-honk yar-yar from the Village of Liver and Onions — like when we check in on Confederate Yankee.
Also savor the immediately familiar tone. It’s that Malkinesque tone, the one characteristic of political hysterics (these days, almost exclusively on the right) who are always finding something to be furiously outraged about, as a way of launching constant attacks on perceived, often hallucinatory enemies.1 He begins with enthusiasm:
Here’s the latest from the Hope and Change Crowd—- Dead “Joe the Plumber” videos reach YouTube.
Now, the Left is fantasizing about “Joe the Plumber’s” violent and gruesome death.
It’s moved from “destroy” the plumber to “kill” the plumber. Oh… And, they’re giving out Joe the Plumber’s address or his ex-wife’s address now.
Video is titled: The Violent Death of Joe The Plumber
Hat Tip Cindy
The caption with the video reads:
Joe The Plumber meets a grisly end under McCain’s new tax proposals. Vote Obama ’08!
Remember People: Do not ever question The One about his tax plan. And, what ever you do, don’t ever label him a socialist.
Here is more on the Obama supporter Matthew Glasson from his YouTube page.
Please- If you decide to look up this sick Obama supporter don’t bring yourself down to his level.
Um, yeah. When next you pass near Daniel Webster’s grave and he thunders out, “Neighbor, how stands the Union?” this totally ought to be mentioned right off the top of the freaking lineup, wouldn’t you suppose? “Um, rock-bottomed and copper-sheathed, Dan’l,” you will gulpingly intone, “One and indivisible — except okay, wait, I have a list here, and I just have to mention this clip on YouTube…”
No, because back in the real world, where the only people fantasizing about political murder are cough-cough, ahem-hem, the video is nothing but a short clip from a campy Italian horror movie, E tu vivrai nel terrore – L’aldilà (a.k.a. The Beyond, a.k.a. Seven Doors of Death), in which a plumber who is named Joe. . .well, you can watch it yourself if you’re really interested in the dramatic climax. In brief though, it’s a freaking clip from a freaking movie, posted by some (freaking) guy on the (frickin’) Internet. Moreover, and importantly: As labeled, it shows “Joe” being killed by “McCain’s new tax proposals.”
Welp, for the cheese course, as it were, let’s go to Gateway Pundit’s comments:
christian soldier said…
My comment on establishing the AAJDF-Average American Joe Defense Fund -was meant to be ‘tongue in cheek’ now-it’s time for Joe the Plumber to sue…we can help!Aren’t there laws against death threats? How about the ‘hate speech’ laws being turned around and used against THEM…
C-CS
Yeah, how about the laws against marrying your sister being turned around and used against the guy who married my sister? Ooh, ooh, how about the laws against urinating in public being turned around and used against people in public bathrooms, huh? Ha ha, It says “public,” but it doesn’t say “except in bathrooms!” No seriously, if stealing is so-called illegal, how come I can’t call the police on the guy who stole my stash?
No wait, okay, I was at Costco and a sign said “all DVDs in this rack $9.95.” Yes or no: The law says I can take the whole rack for $9.95, and if Costco tries to stop me, I can sue them for false advertising.
Whee! Fun and sarcasm. But all of this is, of course, irrelevant now, because our patience for his flagrant, blatant, indeed blagrant journalistic malfeasance and flatancy is at an end, and Gateway Pundit must resign.
1 Cf. Gateway Pundit’s sterling performance during the Graeme Frost witch hunt. As right-wing hysterics hounded an injured 12-year-old, the cry rose up, “Shame on the Democrats for putting a child in harm’s way!”
Check out Rudolph the Red-Nosed Pundit Geraghty and Handsome Mark “I’ll Fight Daffy For That Sammich” Hemingway yammer incoherently about the debate. Funny stuff.
Before I tortured myself watching the vid, I laughed at the blurb (attributed to “NRO Staff”) above it, specifically its remarks that the vid in part would address “McGovern’s rightwing credentials.” Okay, I thought, so NRO editor K-Lo, who started drinking early and stayed up late (and, of course, alone), got totally shitfaced again, wrote McGovern instead of McCain.
But, no! Ladykillers Mark and Jimbo did indeed briefly discuss McGovern’s wingnut creds: something like ‘Obama is the most leftwing candidate since McGovern!’ ‘No, no, that is an insult to McGovern who was a bomber pilot and therefore gloriously killed people as only a wingnut can!’ ‘Yeah, Obama’s even more commie in comparison!’ Blah blah blah.
What’s really funny, though, is their frustration. Why, why don’t the American people see Obama for the commie-terrorist-gangsta rapper he really is? And they aren’t alone; their fellow Cornertards are also ate-up with FAIL — FAIL and FAIL to cope with FAIL, a rapidly spreading clusterFAIL that threatens to engulf the entire site and turn it into a SINGULARITY OF MEGAFAIL. No sooner does one wail in misery does another let loose with an inchoate BLARGH! BLAAAARGH! at a fickle electorate which does not understand what they understand, does not see what they can see in perfect 20/20…
Mark Steyn expressed disappointment that McCain did not get wingnutty enough. Then, after being told to eat it by a completely sensible Everyman e-mailer, he grudgingly allowed that maybe the visuals didn’t work very well for the angry, entirely wingnut-looking, McCain. Steyn recovered enough to splutter something about how McCain’s grouchy old man shtick used to work just fine, dammit, back before the media and the electorate went ‘dolchstoss’ on all that is sacred and good; then he changed the subject to what he does best, being the biggest fan of Broadway musicals who demonstrates his masculine bonafides by adhesively discussing Sarah Palin and sneering at faggyfurriners.
Nerdlinger, Poopoonew, and Pantloaddiscuss wingnut emigration in the event of an Obama victory. Their consensus, a bit too shrill and insistent to be persuasive (if you know what I mean and I think you do), is very much that ‘these colors don’t run’! Sure. Meanwhile, Nerdlinger notices how military “heroism” as an electoral qualification brings increasingly diminishing returns. It’s the end of Western Civilization all over again; as Obama looks more and more victorious we’ll see a lot more of this from conservatives, a return of an archetype: the Lamenting Wingnut. For now, however, the pain is too new. Nerdlinger sourly remarks “that we’re electing a president, not a debater (and Obama is obviously a master debater — which I should not have written, but which I’m going to leave, as I’m in that kind of mood).” Got it? Poor Nerdlinger, while retaining the pomposity that is his trademark, is so anguished he’ll even post a PG-13ish pun in the Corner’s G-rated pages! It’s tough out here for a wingnut! He watches the debate, noting McCain’s creepy smiles and insane eyerolls. Nerdlinger knows he’s toast; in the end Jay-Zzzzzzz can only correct Obama’s grammar.
Poopoonew, on the other hand (!), remains cool. But then he’s also in denial. Of all the Cornertards, K-Load and McCarthy in particular have been frustrated at the ineffectiveness of Ayers-based attacks (‘why, why doesn’t America listen to Stanley Kurtz? GAAAAH!!!’). Ponnuru said they had unrealistic expectations that these attacks would work in the present climate. He gets an e-mail that makes the point that it’s basically another attack on the 60’s, which has been a standard part of the propaganda arsenal for wingnuts since… well, the 60’s. Ramesh, fan of Ronald Reagan and Newt Gingrich, enemy of Bill Clinton, doesn’t believe it. Ooookay.
I’m loving all this, though I wonder if it’s possible for even a blackhearted bastard like me to overdose on schadenfreude. When the Cubs were losing the division series, there were times I wanted to lick the screen and actually taste their and their fans’ delicious anguish. Now the wingnuts are offering me MOAR of the same! Is it too much? NEVAR! I find that (to paraphrase Homer J.) my sadistic propensity knows no satiety! Keep hte lulz coming, wingnuts!
Yes, but I thought you and I would be spoilt enough with [holding up a devotional photo of Sarah Palin] the turkey, and [switching the TV to FOX News] this mountain of nuts we have.
Mrs Obama was angered and she came out loud with the following: “African press International is supposed to support Africans and African-American view,” and she went to state that, “it is strange that API has chosen to support the racists against my husband. There is no shame in being adopted by a step father. All dirt has been thrown onto my husband’s face and yet he loves this country. My husband and I know that there is no law that will stop him from becoming the president, just because some American white racists are bringing up the issue of my husband’s adoption by His step father. The important thing here is where my husband’s heart is at the moment. I can tell the American people that My husband loves this country and his adoption never changed his love for this country. He was born in Hawaii, yes, and that gives him all the right to be an American citizen even though he was adopted by a foreigner; says Michelle Obama on telefon to API.”
The group based in Norway and Great Britain said that they are going to release a tape of the conversation and details on their relationship with Mrs. Obama:
Soon, we will expose everything – information that we have, and that will make those who doubt us to retract their sentiments. The recordings will be released if need be in the long run. We did not imagine that there would be a huge interest in the story. Today we have received over 10000 emails and…
As we have previously seen, there is no such thing as the news agency, African Press International. It is in fact an unbelievably cheap-looking WordPress blog, operated by a pseudonymous person from God-knows-where, that steals daily news stories from the African Press Agency, strips the attributions from them, and substitutes its own name. This enterprise also features a phony charity impersonating an actual charity.
But Gateway Pundit, as we have previously seen, is as dumb as a wooden turnip, and after republishing the entire text of the API post, he begins a flurry of supplementary yawps by linking with a straight face (see photo: his face is indeed unusually vertical) to this alleged message (“good advice,” he sagely observes), which was allegedly sent to the so-called API concerning the quote-unquote “safety” of the purported Michelle Obama so-called tape:
Your government, or Obama computer hackers, will try to stop you from airing the audio tape of your interview with Michele Obama. Then no one will believe the story is true. I, and millions of other Americans, believe your story is true but we need you to release the tape NOW. You and us cannot afford to wait another minute. Please put the audio tape on your website, and download a copy to keep in a safe place, in case of hackers. Your strength is needed right now. Please put the audio tape on your website tonight.
It might also help to relay more details of why the call came through Nairobi? Any more details you can place on your website, labeled as an “Update” would be appreciated by us all. Thank you for your perserverence! We need to have it on your website in the next few hours in order for people to believe you are legitimate.
Thanks!
Thomas P.
Laugh if you would, but just you wait until the tape turns up missing. We’ll see who’s laughing then!
List of things that Gateway Pundit doesn’t suspect, item 3B: Mr. Thomas P. of Washington D.C. U.S.A. 24.160.211.221 is also an Auditor of a BANK OF THE NORTH INTERNATIONAL, ABUJA (FCT), and has the courage to Crave indulgence for a matter of important business. You see, it did come to pass some years ago that an American Mining consultant/contractor with the Nigeria National Petroleum Corporation, maked a numbered time (fixed) deposit for twelve calendar months, valued $12M.USD (TWELVE MILLION US DOLLARS) in an account…
Okay, laugh, laugh if you would. Laugh and laugh again. But if you were to say that Gateway Pundit is a gullible man, you would be wrong to say so! Here’s how he wraps up:
It is amazing how the media will believe a hoax that some Republican yelled “kill him” at a Palin rally with no evidence but will disregard a harsh story on Michelle Obama from the start.
It’s interesting how that works.
You know what else is interesting-how-it-works? We expect a correction. And if we do not receive one snap-snap, right away, chop-chop, then we shall next demand, repeat, shall demand, that Gateway Pundit choose the honorable path and resign immediately from the editorship of Gateway Pundit.
Obama needs to lock up the endorsement of this guy:
It even lends itself perfectly to a new campaign song. To wit:
BAAAARAAAAAACK O-BAM-A,
Can we fix it?
BAAAARAAAAAACK O-BAM-A, YES WE CAN!!!
Don’t bother paying me for these brilliant ideas, Obama campaign. I do it all fo’ love.
UPDATE: On second thought, Bob the Builder might not be the best working-class representative for the Obama campaign. Other than the fact that he’s made of clay, he’s also something of a commie. From his Wikipedia page:
The show emphasizes conflict resolution, co-operation, socialization and various learning skills.
This runs a wee bit counter to the Right’s cultural values of war, cretinism and a passion for screwing over working-class people.
Also, there are real flesh-made plumbers that dig Obama more than British cartoon characters do.
It has been an eternity1 since we wrote a 17-page letter2 to Confederate Yankee detailing the journalistic malfeasance that he continues to flagrantly perpetrate, yet we have heard not a single word to explain or extenuate the blatant disingenuousness and total disregard for facts that. . .uh, uh, uh, stupoundingly bamblastic craptigency of the most flagrant and blatant kind!
Don’t have any proof of rage-filled bigots at McCain-Palin speeches, even though you just know in your shriveled little heart that they have to be there?
Never fear. You can always just make it up.
Doop-de-doop, surfin’ the Internet. Lookin’ for proof of rage-filled bigots3, et cetera.
