Gateway Pundit Must Resign
I wonder what the rest of our far-flung right-wing correspondents have been…
Report: API Will Release Michelle Obama “White Racists” Tape
The API is not backing down.
Dear God, we must never wonder such things aloud.
African Press International is standing by their story from yesterday.
The news agency yesterday reported that they talked with Michelle Obama and she was very angry with their reporting:Mrs Obama was angered and she came out loud with the following: “African press International is supposed to support Africans and African-American view,” and she went to state that, “it is strange that API has chosen to support the racists against my husband. There is no shame in being adopted by a step father. All dirt has been thrown onto my husband’s face and yet he loves this country. My husband and I know that there is no law that will stop him from becoming the president, just because some American white racists are bringing up the issue of my husband’s adoption by His step father. The important thing here is where my husband’s heart is at the moment. I can tell the American people that My husband loves this country and his adoption never changed his love for this country. He was born in Hawaii, yes, and that gives him all the right to be an American citizen even though he was adopted by a foreigner; says Michelle Obama on telefon to API.”
The group based in Norway and Great Britain said that they are going to release a tape of the conversation and details on their relationship with Mrs. Obama:
Soon, we will expose everything – information that we have, and that will make those who doubt us to retract their sentiments. The recordings will be released if need be in the long run. We did not imagine that there would be a huge interest in the story. Today we have received over 10000 emails and…
As we have previously seen, there is no such thing as the news agency, African Press International. It is in fact an unbelievably cheap-looking WordPress blog, operated by a pseudonymous person from God-knows-where, that steals daily news stories from the African Press Agency, strips the attributions from them, and substitutes its own name. This enterprise also features a phony charity impersonating an actual charity.
But Gateway Pundit, as we have previously seen, is as dumb as a wooden turnip, and after republishing the entire text of the API post, he begins a flurry of supplementary yawps by linking with a straight face (see photo: his face is indeed unusually vertical) to this alleged message (“good advice,” he sagely observes), which was allegedly sent to the so-called API concerning the quote-unquote “safety” of the purported Michelle Obama so-called tape:
TO API EDITOR ON MRS OBAMA: Your government, or Obama computer hackers, will try to stop you from airing the audio tape of your interview with Michele Obama.
Posted by africanpress on October 17, 2008Thomas P.
piggydimples@dcemail.com | 24.160.211.221Dear Editor
Your government, or Obama computer hackers, will try to stop you from airing the audio tape of your interview with Michele Obama. Then no one will believe the story is true. I, and millions of other Americans, believe your story is true but we need you to release the tape NOW. You and us cannot afford to wait another minute. Please put the audio tape on your website, and download a copy to keep in a safe place, in case of hackers. Your strength is needed right now. Please put the audio tape on your website tonight.
It might also help to relay more details of why the call came through Nairobi? Any more details you can place on your website, labeled as an “Update” would be appreciated by us all. Thank you for your perserverence! We need to have it on your website in the next few hours in order for people to believe you are legitimate.
Thanks!
Thomas P.
Laugh if you would, but just you wait until the tape turns up missing. We’ll see who’s laughing then!
List of things that Gateway Pundit doesn’t suspect, item 3B: Mr. Thomas P. of Washington D.C. U.S.A. 24.160.211.221 is also an Auditor of a BANK OF THE NORTH INTERNATIONAL, ABUJA (FCT), and has the courage to Crave indulgence for a matter of important business. You see, it did come to pass some years ago that an American Mining consultant/contractor with the Nigeria National Petroleum Corporation, maked a numbered time (fixed) deposit for twelve calendar months, valued $12M.USD (TWELVE MILLION US DOLLARS) in an account…
Okay, laugh, laugh if you would. Laugh and laugh again. But if you were to say that Gateway Pundit is a gullible man, you would be wrong to say so! Here’s how he wraps up:
It is amazing how the media will believe a hoax that some Republican yelled “kill him” at a Palin rally with no evidence but will disregard a harsh story on Michelle Obama from the start.
It’s interesting how that works.
You know what else is interesting-how-it-works? We expect a correction. And if we do not receive one snap-snap, right away, chop-chop, then we shall next demand, repeat, shall demand, that Gateway Pundit choose the honorable path and resign immediately from the editorship of Gateway Pundit.
Update: Ooh, this doesn’t look good.
All dirt has been thrown upon Gateway Pundit’s face!
Is this the same “piggydimples” who once worked for International Yellowcake Distributors, Inc.?
We expect a correction.
Shouldn’t that be a REPUDIATION??
Gateway Pundit could be an hero, but I think he lacks the emo honor.
Ah, the old “we have the proof and it’s coming” line. What’s the over/under on when that tape emerges?
Larry Johnson has that tape too. He’s got big news about it he’s gonna release monday morning. It will shock you!
But seriously, does this remind anyone of the epic troll site eveningservice.com?
The group based in Norway and Great Britain
AFRICAN Press International.
That’s a confidence builder.
Gateway pundit? Gateway Pundit owes me $20!!
piggydimples?!? piggyfuckingdimples?!? WTF?
“Gateway Pundit snargle fraud robble robble correction mwop mwop bla blah…”
Yeah, whatever.
Meanwhile, for those who occupy the “teh votur reg’strashun frawd don’t meen votur frawd” peanut gallery:
It’s only the beginning.
Chief Editor Korir of the API has just released a new statement. A sample:
API promises to make forever last a few days. So enticing!
That really is super, goober. I only ever place any credibility on a news story when it’s come from Fox and is presented by a reporter named Tiffany.
Gateway Pundit […] is as dumb as a wooden turnip
I’m sure it is purely a coincidence that “turnip-mug” translates into German as ‘Wurzelbacher’*.
* For certain values of ‘translation’.
Sweet Mother of Vince Lombardi! Do these people buy their stupid by the boxcar?
Please put the audio tape on your website, and download a copy to keep in a safe place, in case of hackers.
To make triple sure, he should dowload the audio tape six times!!
That really is super, goober. I only ever place any credibility on a news story when it’s come from Fox and is presented by a reporter named Tiffany.
Dangit, I knew I should’ve included my “It ain’t real if’n it come from Faux News” prediction in my last comment.
Dear Masters of Sadly, No!,
Please stop posting about the idiocy of these people or I will be forced, I say forced to take the following steps:
1. I shall don my nicest suit, shirt and tie and have my Caucasian man-slave shine my best loafers.
2. I shall then go forth into streets and go from door to door.
3. When the resident answers I shall tell them that I am collecting for “Brothers Against Obama,” and ask them for a donation.
4. I will then get stinking rich and might feel the occasional twinge of guilt.
So knock it off. I beg you.
You know, it turned out that in the movie Galaxy Quest, the true believers in the TV show turned out to be right in believing that the TV adventures really happened, but only when the magic aliens intervened.
I also imagine letters like this being written to people who claim to have met the real Elvis in a subdivision right next to them.
I also imagine letters like this being written to those who have recorded communications from Cydonia, also known as “The Face On Mars.”
I say “imagine” because the internet allows us to actually find such supplications of TruBleevers, but I would rather not.
Actually, Wurzelbacher might loosely translate as “one who roots (wurzel) brooks (bache)”.
I have no idea what the fuck that really means except that it might be a short side step to Roto-Rooter. Or to “cheerleader for shallow conservative PBS pundits.”
I agree with Quaker, he’s the Gateway to Stupid.
(um, not sure what to make of this. No porn, but may not be sfw.).
we have shocking hard evidence of voter fraud!!
lets talk to palestra.net so we don’t have to make these claims ourselves directly
go-o-o-o-olly-y-y goober I have no doubt this is just the beginning
afterall voter fraud is the new islamo-terror-murder for this fall’s discerning idiots
Forget the African Press International flap – MPI (Martian Press Intergalactic) has just published a piece reliably linking Michelle Obama to massive voter fraud being perpetrated in Ohio by space mummies from the moons of Jupiter.
let’s go to some kids that have all the details!!
Here, for instance.
What’s the betting that sometime soon API will claim they are being prosecuted (maybe under British libel laws as they have an “office” there) and they need to set up a defence fund to pay the lawyers’ bills.
I’m not even sure if it’s funny anymore how fucking stupid the wingnuts are.
Lifeforce involved an epidemic of contagious vampiric zombification – exactly the sort of thing McCain needs to push up his poll numbers.
As we have previously seen, there is no such thing as the news agency, African Press International. It is in fact an unbelievably cheap-looking WordPress blog, operated by a pseudonymous person from God-knows-where, that steals daily news stories from the African Press Agency, strips the attributions from them, and substitutes its own name. This enterprise also features a phony charity impersonating an actual charity.
Y’know, I keep hearing there are people dumb enough, but I always shake my head in disbelief.
Until now. This might actually work!
What’s the betting that sometime soon API will claim they are being prosecuted (maybe under British libel laws as they have an “office” there) and they need to set up a defence fund to pay the lawyers’ bills.
Fuck, that would be pure brilliance. I think Gateway should just give them his CC # just in case.
“Please put the audio tape on your website, and download a copy to keep in a safe place, in case of hackers. ”
To be even safer, download a copy of the audio tape from your own website six times!!two! (in case of hackers)
Michelle Obama must be the single most imaginarily recorded woman in the world!
Soon, we will expose everything – information that we have, and that will make those who doubt us to retract their sentiments. The recordings will be released if need be in the long run.
As soon as we can find someone here in Norway who sounds like Michelle Obama…
Michelle Obama must be the single most imaginarily recorded woman in the world!
Right you are, wangchuck! I’m imagining her singing Whitey Christmas right now!
Has anyone else checked out Rainbow Foundation yet? Talk about sketchy.
It is amazing how the media will believe a hoax that some Republican yelled “kill him” at a Palin rally with no evidence
An eye witness report is exactly what is called “evidence”. And calling something a “hoax” is also a charge that would require some.
The only thing that would make this funnier is if it turns out to be someone from our side yanking their collective cranks , waiting for the perfect moment to Dan Rather their asses and expose their gullibility in a very public fashion.
Voter Fraud in Ohio!!!!!!ELEVENTY-ONE!!
http://thinkprogress.org/2008/10/16/plumber-vote/
The original tape is buried somewhere in Area 51 and Elvis Presley has the only map.
Maybe I’m missing something, but I fail to see anything controversial, incendiary, inaccurate, or in any way scandalous about Michelle Obama’s remarks. So WTF?
MzNicky, you don’t seem to understand that Michelle Obama is a Scary Black Woman (TM) and therefore every statement she makes is a threat of violence to someone.
Except when she is being lazy and eating watermelon.
This has been another episode of “What Would A PUMA Do?”
MzNicky,
First there’s the atrocious grammar. That’s truly scandalous.
Secondly, and much more importantly, only deranged individuals refer to themselves in the third person the way the API qute ends:
[…] update: Sadly, No! suggests that the press organization in question doesn’t exist. In which case, […]
I can’t decide whether to laugh or cry.
I wish I had thought of this.
Hey… That gives me an idea.
I bet they tell him they need his bank account and Social Security numbers first so they can “wire” the tape to him.
You’d think it’d be obvious that a Princeton graduate wouldn’t say things like “All dirt has been thrown onto my husband’s face and yet he loves this country” that sound like English as a second language at best and machine translation at worst, but I guess desperate wingnut hope is blinding sometimes.
Does anybody else think this Gateway Pundit joker looks like a middle-aged Napoleon Dynamite?
Hey now, Palestra.net is a Very Serious College News Organization, a “content partner” (whatever that is) of Fox News and Fox News for Rich Kids (or something like that), co-founded by a guy named Weasel. (I did not make that up.) And here is what their site says about ace reporter Tiffany Wilson:
Note, none of the other bios on that page are in doggerel.
Awww, how cute. He doesn’t know how cassette tapes work. It’s like the time he tried to get mommy’s 45’s to play in his computers CD drive and they didn’t work, even after he cut them to fit!
JESUS FUCKING DUCK HUNTING CHRIST. How old is this bucket of douche backwash? He looks old enough to know that a cassette tape doesn’t get “downloaded,” it gets “copied,” or even just put in a safe place because hackers generally don’t go around breaking into people’s homes.
That does it. From now on I will just assume anyone who didn’t vote for Obama is a towering pile of dumbshit because that’s all I see from the anti-Obama crowd.
Shit, it isn’t even funny any more.
OK. The thought of a guy worrying about hackers damaging a tape via the internons is kind of funny.
The fact that this could all be true, if a different butterfly had waggled its wings in a different way ten million years ago means nothing to you?
The entire Michelle Obama story is this close to being true in a different universe.
That’s what I call an unhealthy skepticism, buddy!
Arky, have you considered the possibility that this guy knows perfectly well there is no such tape, and he’s just putting “African Press International” on?
Speaking of crazy, race-baiting white guys with invisible tapes of Michelle Obama, can we get an update on what Larry Johnson is up to these days ?
Nope, because I’ve just been to two websites where people are saying dumb shit that makes that dumb shit look intelligent.
If I start thinking “Nah, he couldn’t really be that much of a dumbshit,” each time I encounter a fresh pile of astoundingly dumb shit, I won’t be able to fully enjoy people like Cornfederate Wankee.
Are you really with IRE? Cool.
as dumb as a wooden turnip
What are the smart turnips made of?
You’ve heard of people so stupid they don’t know nuthin’? GaPu is so stupid he don’t even suspect nuthin’.
(Apologies to Ray Stevens)
Are you really with IRE? Cool.
Nah. I lifted that line from that ridiculous website. I wasn’t even aware there was an IRE.
Turnip, actually.
Well, well, here I thought that this missive by the brilliant Ace O’ Spades would win the prestigious Golden Wingnut Award. I can see that it pales by comparison to this. Here’s his schtick…
http://ace.mu.nu/archives/275813.php
My prediction: when Gateway Pundit finally gets his copy of the Michelle Obama tape, it’s got nothing but a certain Rick Astley song on it.
Jeezus Kreist- those wingnuts are frothing at the mouth so much that they might need rabies shots.
Oh! Look, look! A list of African countries: http://africanpress.wordpress.com/african-countries/
That tears it, these guys are totally on the level.
Gotta love that review of this story on “protein jizzdom” — and the real news: “| Breaking: Is Michelle Obama really a space creature with the body temperature of a lizard? »”
I’m with MzNicky. Geeze, you freaks, if you’ve decided that, by definition, everything she says as crazy and egregious, then there’s no need to make stuff up. And if you DO make stuff up, go for the gold!
Bored now.
Soon, we will expose everything – information that we have, and that will make those who doubt us to retract their sentiments.
That’s the same thing inventors of perpetual motion machines say when making a pitch to venture capitalists.
My prediction: when Gateway Pundit finally gets his copy of the Michelle Obama tape, it’s got nothing but a certain Rick Astley song on it.
If Johnny Pez is right, this will be final and conclusive proof that there IS a God, and (S)HE is a Democrat.
I’m rooting for a badly done falsetto male voice.
You’d think it’d be obvious that a Princeton graduate wouldn’t say things like “All dirt has been thrown onto my husband’s face and yet he loves this country” that sound like English as a second language at best and machine translation at worst, but I guess desperate wingnut hope is blinding sometimes.
You’d think that, yes. Then you’d recall that W went to Yale and Ann Althouse is a law professor.
I’m rooting for a badly done falsetto male voice.
Oh, hell yeah. I’m thinking Flip Wilson as Geraldine. With a Norwegian accent.
You’d think that, yes. Then you’d recall that W went to Yale and Ann Althouse is a law professor.
Yes, but Obama took up law, where they took up space.
Yes, but Obama took up law, where they took up space.
COLD AS ICE
I wish people were not so quick to latch onto every half-baked scam and pseudo-controversy that comes down the pike. There is plenty to lambaste Obama about already and when the moonbat left is ready and willing to shamlessly label the truth a lie, and the media is too busy dry-humping Obama to believe otherwise, it makes no practical sense to get sucked into BS from a fake African press organization or some dopey liberal lawyer angry that Hillary lost who thinks Obama isn’t a citizen.
So lemme see if I get this straight, Moby…
You’re willing to buy into the base canard that somehow the main stream media is liberally biased, that Obama is somehow more of a liar than your average politician and that the media is covering up for him (like they’ve covered for McCain all these years), but THIS half-baked pseudocontroversy, you draw the line?
I just want to understand your boundaries before I start the reprogramming…
Don’t get too excited folks, API is not exactly a credible source. If they do have a tape the Obama campaign will not let it be released. API just likes all this attention.
Piggydimples…LOL…I’m sorry…but there are real issues there.
He would produce the Michelle Obama tape, but it’s in the same folder as McCain’s plan to catch bin Laden, so it won’t be available until after the election.
“What’s the betting that sometime soon API will claim they are being prosecuted (maybe under British libel laws as they have an “office” there) and they need to set up a defence fund to pay the lawyers’ bills.”
This is such utter genius I kind of wish I’d thought of it myself.
The tape was stolen by agents of the International Islamofascist-Communist-George Soros-Homosexual-Secular Humanist Conspiracy. They hit API in a 3am raid using black helicopters. The tape (8-track) is now stored in Syria with Saddam’s WMD for safe keeping.
Seriously, a TAPE? Did they ever hear of digital recorders? Anyone could record an interview and send it as a MP3 or WMA attachment by e-mail to half the world in a few minutes. But then, I’m thinking logically.
Just wanted to say that the caption “a prodigious font of Der” was the funniest thing I have seen in several weeks. 🙂
If they do have a tape the Obama campaign will not let it be released.
The Obama campaign is also suppressing the fact that there’s a bazillion barrels of oil under Tenafly, NJ, but the eeeevil environazi shamanistic Islamofreesilverites discovered that an endangered species of bot-fly lives in the region.
[…] Story background here. 2 All IP, phone, and email data […]
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[…] the tape of Obama’s mistress, the tape of Obama screaming about how much he hates Israel, the tape of Michelle ranting at API, and on and on and on. But back to the point- as far as echoing messages, right-wing bloggers are […]
[…] sideshows of the recent American election campaign with a series of broken promises to release a tape recording of Michelle Obama sounding off to him indiscretely over the phone about “white […]
[…] making this stuff up. And, aside from the obligatory nod to Godwin’s Law, one can only quote the immortal words of Sadly, No: But Gateway Pundit, as we have previously seen, is as dumb as a wooden […]
[…] not like you can represent yourself as an African News Agency on the internet and get just anyone to believe you. You have to have to have a bulletproof cover story in order to insinuate yourself into […]