Sadly, No!

Pointing out Kant’s ultimate EEEEVIL has been the joyous burden of uber-Randroid Leonard Peikoff for years. Now here comes uber-Zionist Daniel Pipes to say: that’s, like, so totally true, man!

I for one am willing to at least listen to their arguments. After all, Mr. Peikoff, who urges the United States to bomb civilians in Afghanistan, and Mr. Pipes, who recommends that America round up Muslims and put them into concentration camps, are surely experts on EEEEVIL.

Incidentally, you know what you get when you cross Peikoff’s Randroidery with Pipes’s Zionism-no-matter-what-the-cost?

Blarg!:

Update: Hanx to Doctorb in comments for reminding us of this classic.

It’s been a long time since we checked in on Renew America, the poor man’s America’s shittiest website. What have we here? It’s one Victor Sharpe:

Obama’s boorish return of the bust of Winston Churchill — a gift from the British people, which had adorned the White House for decades — to Britain’s Gordon Brown was an early indication of Obama’s dislike of Britain.

Right. Sadly, No!:

Intended as a symbol of transatlantic solidarity, the bust was a loaner from former British prime minister Tony Blair following the September 11 attacks.

So pretty much as Victor suspected, except that the silly party won.

There is more merriment in store today from Right Wing News. You remember, that’s the site that is run by the troglodytic John Hawkins and that surveyed other right-wing troglodytes asking them who was the worst person in American history. You’re probably not surprised that monsters like Jimmy Carter, FDR and the Kenyan-in-Chief were at the top of the list and thought by the surveyed bloggers to be way worse than, say, Timothy McVeigh, John Wilkes Boothe, Jeffrey Dahmer, Aldrich Ames, Rachael Ray and Richard Simmons, some of whom did not even make the list.

The new merriment is that John has reached deep into the loose change shoebox he keeps under his bed (a safe place because no one has ever gone looking for anything near Hawkins’s bed) and announced that Right Wing News is going to sponsor . . .

[audio: https://sadlyno.com/wordpress/uploads/2010/05/Drum-Roll-Sound.mp3]

. . . Homocon! Better yet, RWN is the very first sponsor of Homocon given that, understandably, Frito-Lay, and Mountain Dew have cut back on their sponsorship budgets.

“Homocon?” you ask. “Que est-ce que c’est, ce Homocon?” Well think Comic-Con and replace the socially-inept, lonely, dweebish middle-aged men who love comics with socially-inept, lonely, dweebish, middle-aged Republican men who love other men. The main difference between Comic-Con and Homocon is that there won’t be anybody running around in Star Wars costumes at Homocon but instead there may be awkward gay men running around in Ann Coulter costumes, since Coulter — an internationally recognized gay rights icon — will be the keynote speaker at this upcoming Shame-boree.

The reaction by Hawkins’s faithful commenters have been mixed. One commenter promptly and predictably showed up with this:

Hmmm.. Must be that you’re actually a Homo yourself.

Gross, Disgusting, The Conservative has gone to hell.

Read the Bible people!!!!!!!!!!!!

Of course, I always do everything that people tell me in sentences with twelve million exclamation points. I’lll be back after I’ve finished reading the Bible, including the bit about smashing babies against rocks, presumably for having eaten scallops or something.

[audio: https://sadlyno.com/wordpress/uploads/2010/08/Jeopardy-Think-Song.mp3]

I’m back. I couldn’t make it past Genesis 3:16.

Another commenter was flirting with possible attendance but couldn’t help admitting to a concern or two:

Seems like a good project. As an aside, it might be helpful for marketing if GOProud made the itinerary a little more clear.

Apparently he’s concerned that one of the break-out panels will be a trip to an S&M leather fisting bar in Chelsea.

However, if the commenter was concerned about the meeting’s agenda, rather than its itinerary, he has a good point. And this is where I can help. I thought it might be helpful to the homos of Homocon if I proposed an agenda. So here it is:

9:30	Registration	Only social parasites expect free Danish pastries, so bring your own food.
10:15	First Panel	“How Gay Conservatives Are The Real Victims.”
10:45	Second Panel	“Why Are Gay Liberals So Obsessed with the Victimization of Gays?”
11:00	Coffee Break	Only social parasites expect free coffee. Find a Starbucks.
11:15	Third Panel	“Why It’s Okay To Bargain Away The Rights of Other Gays for Your Own Tax Cut.”
11:45	Fourth Panel	Dating Tips for GOP Homos — Wear Antiperspirant, Brush Your Teeth, Change Your Underwear and Don’t Shout ‘Trust, But Verify’ When Coming.”
12:00 noon	Lunch	Find an Olive Garden
2:00	Fifth Panel	“If You Were In Favor of Gay Marriage, Which Gay Blogger Would You Gay Marry?”
3:00	Sixth Panel	“Who Is The Hottest: Lindsey Graham, Our Sole Sponsor John Hawkins, or Mitch McConnell?”
6:00	Brown Bag Dinner and Keynote Address	Ann Coulter: “Why Can’t Homos Throw a Baseball without Looking Like a Girl?”

For a mere $250, you too could be among the lucky attendees.

Ils sont de retour:

Everything Andy says would make more sense if said
while he was wearing a pink bunny suit

Andy McCarthy, J.D., Esq., Attorney-at-Law, America’s Shittiest Website™
The “Bush Did It” Defense of the Ground Zero Mosque Imam

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‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

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Erick Erickson, who once twittered that retired Justice Souter was a “goat fucking child molester,” has been trolling Nancy Pelosi’s Twitter feed looking for dirt for a blog post on the Speaker, which is pretty much like Charles Manson doing a criminal record search on Sharon Tate.

And this is what the old Frito-breathed pud-yanker has come up with:

On July 4th the Speaker of the United States House of Representatives . . . oh, you’ve figured it out. Nancy Pelosi didn’t do a darn thing on Twitter for the 4th of July — no “Happy Birthday America” or “God/Allah/Aqua Buddha bless the USA” or anything else.

In his slobbering haste to accuse Pelosi of being an America-hating, terrorist-loving, Marx-worshipping, homosexual-loving traitress, it doesn’t occur to Erickson to take a gander at his own Twitter feed on July 4 to make sure that he had himself put on his flag lapel pin, put his hand on his heart, sung “Happy Birthday America” and otherwise polished his own America-loving patriotic credentials.

So, was there a heart-warming patriotic pageant on display on Erickson’s July 4th Twitter feed? Sadly, No!

However, it was enlightening to learn that Erickson was “smoking a Boston Butt on his green egg” on the evening before July 4. Sometime I really just don’t know how I survived before Twitter. But I give you my word, you will never hear me talking about smoking butt on my Twitter feed, and, if I you do, well, just press the unfollow button and get on with your life.

ABOVE: The Three Faces of Eew

It was only a matter of time before Hugh Hewitt weighed in on the controversy over Cordoba House, and, boy, was it worth the wait. Pretending that he and he alone has discovered the ultimate arguments to demolish the Muslim-loving liberals, he throws down on the table two deliciously absurd arguments — well, three really, if you count his claim that Ground Zero is “sacred ground” just like the Gettysburg Battlefield and should not be encroached by any development — without realizing, of course, that he’s implicitly calling for razing everything in Manhattan.

The other two arguments are what I would call double flea flicker reverse strawmen. In a normal strawman, the writer demolishes an imaginary argument. In a double flea flicker reverse strawman, the imaginary argument does the demolishing. Serious scholars refer to this rhetorical tactic as an argumentum ad sparkleponium, or an appeal to a mythical race of creatures or a non-existent phenomenon.

To attempt to rebut the notion that those opposing the Cordoba House aren’t religious bigots, Hugh offers up his first example of the argumentum ad sparkleponium.

It is a certainty that many among the overwhelming majorities that oppose GZM would gladly write a check to the building fund of a mosque at a different location in Manhattan, a location not chosen to exploit the fact that an attack on America took place where the mosque was built.

Show me the money, Hugh! Show me the money! And the sparkle ponies.

He follows up with an even more awesome argumentum ad sparkleponium

Those same overwhelming majorities would oppose a Roman Catholic cathedral on the same site.

And Hugh Hewitt will appear in the next Old Spice campaign stripped to the waist and riding a white pony.

Shorter Dough-Jo Loadberg, America’s Shittiest Website™
Bridge-Building for Everybody! Whoopee!

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‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

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Shorter Msgr. Ross Xavier Pius Douthat, S.J., O.P., O.F.M., S.S.J., Th.D+, The New York Fucking Times Pope-Ed Page*
The Marriage Ideal

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‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

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*Tbogg is also all over this POS op-ed

Another Sunday, another diatribe on America’s Shittiest Website™ from washed-up former U.S. Attorney Andy McCarthy about how Mooslims are just a few mosques away from turning all Dressbarns into Burqabarns. And although the current diatribe starts off with a promisingly amusing reference to Dough-Jo Loadberg’s heft, it rapidly descends into standard issue right-wing bedwetting about how the reason that leftists are willing to put a Koran in every hotel nightstand is that they hate America and how the only way to show true love for our country is to piss all over the First Amendment’s guarantee of freedom of religion.

But as I was reading through Andy’s overheated claptrap, I thought a little experiment — a word substitution game, if you will — might be interesting:

Most of all, Americans are tired of the shroud of political correctness the ruling class has placed around Islam Judaism. We don’t object to anyone’s freedom of conscience, and we abide countless places for Muslims Jews to gather and worship even though we know a very high percentage of the Islamic Jewish centers and mosques synagogues are heavily influenced by Islamists Zionists. But we’re tired of being told things that aren’t true: e.g., that Islam Judaism is peaceful, tolerant and non-threatening; that sharia halakha — which is relentlessly authoritarian, discriminatory, and, in parts, savage — is something we need to accommodate; and that there is no connection between Islamic Jewish doctrine (which is supremacist and belligerent), Islamist Zionist terror, and the broader Islamist Jewish threat to our civilization. We’re tired of being told that people who can’t bring themselves to condemn Hamas Likud are “moderates” deserving of being taken seriously and having their endless grievances against America addressed. And we’re tired of being told that we shouldn’t examine or object to an authoritarian ideology just because it travels under the label of “religion.”

Actually, the whole post reads even better in German. (And how funny is calling Jonah “dass große Kerl”? I think Dough-Jo Loadberg has a new nom de loon: Große Kerlberg.)