We Could Call It The Al-Pigglywiggly
Posted on August 10th, 2010 by Tintin
Shorter Dough-Jo Loadberg, America’s Shittiest Website™
Bridge-Building for Everybody! Whoopee!
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Gee, Jonah, while you’re at it, why don’t you just drop that load you’ve been carrying around in your pants right there in front of the door of the mosque. That’ll show ’em!!
Seriously? The Doughmeister’s sporting wood about a place that sells pork products? Is he trying to set some kind of landspeed record for jokes that write themselves?
And how about all them Keeeristian churches anywhere NEAR Oklahoma? Were those stopped out of deference? What’s that? Christianity had nothing to do with McVeigh’s motives? The motives were anti-gubbmint so it’s cool, amirite? And besides, it was one lone nut (and anti-gubbmint at that!!!11!!one!!!1!) so it’s totes not the same.
We’re playing numbers games now? And you can only go back 10 years for religious involvement in motives, no bringing up that damn Inquisition or any other such nonsense?!?!?
Yeah. Because the nearest deli is all of 200′ away…
We’re gonna have to find a higher cliff.
Mooselims are so the new Reds for these folks. Where once all you had to do was whisper “commie” and they’d load their pants, now it’s “issssssssslllllaammmmm” and ploink! The loads, they’s a made in they pants.
But N__B is it a kosher deli?
Oh, no no no. I’m staying in this here boat.
What about building a pork product store next to that new mosque in New York City? Isn’t that the coolest idea ever? Doing that is so not this or this.
Antisemite.
[slams Jonah in the face as pictured by camera angle]
But N__B is it a kosher deli?
There are maybe three truly kosher delis in all of Manhattan. Too much demand for pork, bacon, cheese on salami, et cetera, et cetera…
Also, are these people children, or what?
Here we have the legacy of William F. borne by Jonah’s pants.
Hey, what do folks here think of JC Christian’s idea, “Burn A Confederate Flag Day” on Sept 12? It’s a similar sort of hurr-hurr idea but I’m kind of in favor.
http://sites.google.com/site/burnrebelflagday/
pork, bacon, cheese on salami
HOT.
A strip club/gay bar with many pork dishes on the menu (and elsewhere) might work just fine. Bonus: They could give away puppies!
So was he one of the ones complaining about dishonoring the site where the ashes of the noble dead rest?
Oh, no no no. I’m staying in this here boat.
Meh. Doughload just cuts and pastes Gutfeld and slaps this on the bottom:
And no, I am not interested in who or what else Jonah slaps on the bottom.
Really. DNW.
OK?
Also, are these people children, or what?
Yes.
Also, are these people children, or what?
Yes.
Who make Trig have many, many good days in a row.
Well, I’m going to open a sushi place next to an aquarium, SO THERE!
TAKE THAT, FISH!
1. Open a strip club that sells pork and gives away puppies.
2. Deal with multiple health-code violations, workplace injuries from platform-shoe-on-pigs-blood slippage, and puppy-consumed missing pork.
3. Touch thumb to nose, wiggle fingers at Muslims.
4. Profit!
Shorter Dough-Jo Loadberg
Shit – don’t taunt that thing! According to Wikipedia, when they feel threatened, they will attempt to confound their attackers by releasing several liters of nostril-punishing beefgas.
Next, I’m going to open a vegan restaurant next to a slaughterhouse!
Those Muslims sure will be surprised and enraged when they discover that they can’t control what businesses go into neighboring buildings.
Or a vegan restaurant next to NRO headquarters.
Well, I’m going to open a sushi place next to an aquarium, SO THERE!
Go whole hog. Open a public school next to any Tea party building.
“It looks like food but there’s no meat in it! NO JONAH DON’T TOUCH THAT SAMMITCH NOOOOOOOOOOOO”
Or a vegan restaurant next to NRO headquarters.
With a gym on the other side of the NRO headquarters.
A soup kitchen/homeless shelter next to the American Enterprise Institute?
I am envisioning Friday night pig races through the streets of Manhattan. With Jabba Goldblob leading the pack.
It’s not this either.
“Also, are these people children, or what?”
I believe my first encounter with SadlyNo! was when they were mocking Jonah’s endeavor to come up with a theme song for ASW. (This may have been the genesis of the Cat Viking video of Led Zeppelin’s Immigrant Song). What was that? Six years ago?
Trig is surely maturing at a faster rate than these losers.
Today’s Goldberg column is even better. It starts out with how Hitler built the Volkswagen and seamlessly transitions into hybrid cars.
Next to NRO HQ, best bet would be a gym. You know they’d get butthurt big time.
I am envisioning Friday night pig races through the streets of Manhattan
To be combined with Critical Mass. What could go wrong with a few hundred bikers at high speed through pig-shit strewn streets?
Damn T et U. Damn iPhone.
Always. Trust. The. Shorter.™
Wasn’t it some general’s idea back before we raped Iraq to bring a bunch of pig carcasses in to bury the dead terrorists in?
So we have a gay Muslim bar and a pig slaughter house. Why not go whole hog (pardon the pun) and open a women’s bikini store on the other side?
Next to NRO HQ, best bet would be a gym. You know they’d get butthurt big time.
AHEM
Damn T et U. Damn iPhone.
You are forgiven.
Or a vegan restaurant next to NRO headquarters.
With a gym on the other side of the NRO headquarters.
Nah. IATSE headquarters. They could cut the power to the building periodically.
It’s not this either.
Thanks for the link. That’s truly sick, and unfortunately representative of a growing movement in Europe.
What could go wrong with a few hundred bikers at high speed through pig-shit strewn streets?
Y’know, we could open a Chinese restaurant: Sum Dung Flung.
Or a vegan restaurant next to NRO headquarters.
With a gym on the other side of the NRO headquarters.
ACORN office across the street.
Also, are these people children, or what?
As already answered, yes. They are also insane. For reals, loony toons.
ACORN office across the street.
We need to fit a head shop and maybe a yoga studio in somewhere….
But N__B is it a kosher deli?
There are maybe three truly kosher delis in all of Manhattan.
The closest kosher deli to Ground Zero would be Noah’s Ark on Grand, but it’s all the way over by the Williamsburg Bridge.
Wouldn’t it just be more direct to open a store next door or across the street which had a huge sign out front that said “We Hate Muslims” and which sold only signs which had such slogans?
Do they serve two of everything?
Wouldn’t it just be more direct to open a store next door or across the street which had a huge sign out front that said “We Hate Muslims” and which sold only signs which had such slogans?
Too overtly aggressive for them. They need some passive in their aggression, so they can’t be proven liars.
El Cid, that would be more direct, but it wouldn’t reveal the hypocrisy of us libs.
Do they serve two of everything?
If you saw how they served food, you’d think that.
They make a nice sammich.
Or a vegan restaurant next to NRO headquarters.
A peep show or a bath house, or would that be entrapment?
Wonkette has one of their best article summary intro’s I’ve seen:
Of course, as I always say, John 3:16 v2: “For God so loved the world that he knocked up Joseph’s young fiancee.”
Add a fried foods $2 buffet, and you’d do even better.
Wouldn’t it just be more direct to open a store next door or across the street which had a huge sign out front that said “We Hate Muslims” and which sold only signs which had such slogans?
Too many vegetables.
Add a fried foods $2 buffet, and you’d do even better.
You’ve been to the Dirty Bird, I see…
Gym with raw vegan juice bar named “Revival of the Fittest,” plus showers/washer/lockers for homeless. Also, the exercise bikes provide electricity back to the grid, which allows them to subsidize memberships for poorer folks and be carbon-neutral.
Gym with raw vegan juice bar named “Revival of the Fittest,” plus showers/washer/lockers for homeless. Also, the exercise bikes provide electricity back to the grid, which allows them to subsidize memberships for poorer folks and be carbon-neutral.
This shit just got real
Gym with raw vegan juice bar named “Revival of the Fittest,” plus showers/washer/lockers for homeless. Also, the exercise bikes provide electricity back to the grid, which allows them to subsidize memberships for poorer folks and be carbon-neutral.
The entrance is lined with statues of great liberals of history, like Saul Alinsky and George Soros.
Wouldn’t it just be more direct to open a store next door or across the street which had a huge sign out front that said “We Hate Muslims” and which sold only signs which had such slogans?
Damn, you stole my idea. (Although I was going to go with “ISLAM SUCKS”, which is way better because shut up that’s why.)
The only possible conclusion is that these allegedly Constitution revering patriots do not know what the First Amendment says. I do, and I’m CANADIAN! Read a damned book sometime, Jonah.
Cf.
I’m CANADIAN
Canadians…
People who talk like us, only slower.
People who act like us, only nicer.
People who look like us, only whiter.
The entrance is lined with statues of great liberals of history, like Saul Alinsky and George Soros.
And the ultra-low-flow urinals and composting toilets look like Ronald Reagan.
And the ultra-low-flow urinals and composting toilets look like Ronald Reagan.
Instead of toilet paper, you have to wipe your ass with a leaf.
A leaf from a book published by Regnery.
Microbrews only, no Coors Light.
The uniforms are made of hemp.
Hee hee. Little do they know that there’s already a strip club on the next block. That’ll teach those ragheads, youbetcha…
You know, something’s just occurred to me. (I’m slow.)
If it is an intolerable provocation to build a mosque (I know it isn’t a mosque) next to Ground Zero (I know it isn’t next), isn’t it…Look, these people are homophobes, right? They’d be just as pissed off if somebody was going to build a gay bar next to Ground Zero, right? Isn’t the gay bar next to the mosque also close enough to Ground Zero to be equally provoking, or do the Muslim cooties totally cancel the gay cooties, so we’re only supposed to detect the insult to the Muslims (YAY) and not the insult to the victims of 9/11 (BOO)?
Wingnut logic is hard.
What about the Planned Parenthood clinic?
Isn’t the gay bar next to the mosque also close enough to Ground Zero to be equally provoking, or do the Muslim cooties totally cancel the gay cooties, so we’re only supposed to detect the insult to the Muslims (YAY) and not the insult to the victims of 9/11 (BOO)?
The enema of my enemy is my friend.
do the Muslim cooties totally cancel the gay cooties, so we’re only supposed to detect the insult to the Muslims (YAY) and not the insult to the victims of 9/11 (BOO)?
Nah, they’re just trying to do some sort of liebral Sophie’s Choice.
The TV’s are all tuned to lectures broadcast from Harvard.
This place better have wheat grass shots…
The TV’s are all tuned to lectures broadcast from Harvard.
What TVs?
Or maybe Berkeley.
The TV’s are all tuned to lectures broadcast from Harvard.
What TVs?
The ones powered by the exercise bikes.
The Teevees in front of the treadmills so that everyone gets a good dose of propaganda in the form of real – as in factual – history and so on. Elitist gyms train mind and body.
Sure looks a lot like the WTC towers themselves, doesn’t it? Hard to imagine that’s a coincidence. A certain implicit triumphalism involved?
Sigh. If there was a gym like that in real life, I would join in a minute.
Sigh. If there was a gym like that in real life, I would join in a minute.
Right? Except for the wheat grass shots. That stuff makes me puke. At least in the morning after a night of tequila shots…
They’re really getting this idea from these fine ladies and their ongoing counter-protest. The best part of Gutfeld’s announcement is on the Big Hollywood version of his post:
…way, way too easy, I’m throwing this one back in.
Fortunately, the First Amendment cuts both ways.
I see these ads pissing more people off than a “mosque” at Ground Zero.
I see these ads pissing more people off than a “mosque” at Ground Zero.
What the FUCK is wrong with these people? Yeah, obviously they really care about respecting September 11th victims and their families.
“Obama killed Ted Stevens” conspiracy theories in 3… 2… 1…
They’re really getting this idea from these fine ladies and their ongoing counter-protest.
I feel a-hankerin’ to go to church in Ohio…
They can build Gitmo v2 next door, that would be suitably offensive and illegal, unlike the community centre which is neither; so a neat juxtaposition of wingnut America versus the rest of us.
Could we get some solid economics lectures broadcast on the TV’s too? Fact based economics? with no supply side, trickle down, or unicorn based theories?
What the FUCK is wrong with these people?
What indeed.
What indeed.
AHEM
You know, I think that would be just the thing for these inexperienced ignorant fools to invest their Wingnut welfare dollars in!
Why shouldnt’ they spend their money on extremely expensive lower Manhattan real estate? And also invest their money in a business license, health department license for food service, not to mention the various compliances with liquor licensing and nightclub ordinance compliance?
Of course, in a neighborhood that’s basically a place for office workers, where there’s little night-life nor residential development, a night club and charcuterie may not suceed, but what they heck? Why would you need a successful business model when your main goal is to offend some people you don’t like?
Since Manhattan-based Muslim-Americans are probably already pretty exposed to Teh Ghey, alcohol purveyors and stores that sell pork products, it’s not likely that people who visit the Cordoba Center are even going to notice, but what the heck?
maybe they can get a few curious tourists and a handful of office workers buying sandwiches before the entire enterprise goes broke.
Yep, opening up a business for the purpose of offending the people who might frequent it – a hilarious affirmation of free market principles.
Somebody needs to shove copious quantities of pork products up Jonah’s copious and not kosher ass.
What the FUCK is wrong with these people? Yeah, obviously they really care about respecting September 11th victims and their families.
That’s why they spent all these weeks after 9/11 lecturing us on how it was all our fault for being faggots and feminists…
That’s why they spent all these weeks after 9/11 lecturing us on how it was all our fault for being faggots and feminists…
And bad mouthing the families of the victims seeking compensation.
What the FUCK is wrong with these people?
The “Geller” person the article never gives a full name for is none other than crazy Pammy, so…
I think it’d be great if they put all their hard-earned wingnut welfare dollars into a poorly-conceived enterprise in some of the most expensive commercial real estate in the country, especially a type of business that would require complicated and expensive liciensing (health dept., liquor, etc.) and compliance with stringent regulations and demand a very expensive insurance policy.
Especially if it was an enterprise conceived soley for the purpose of achieving a negative reaction from its neighbors. They’ll be raking in the bucks with that!
That’s a perfect illustration in the wing nut approach to free market principles!
Jonah’s copious and not kosher ass.
I dunno, he’s got split hooves and chews the cud… no wait, TOO MANY VEGETABLES, so you’re right.
That’s a perfect illustration in the wing nut approach to free market principles!
Demonstrating once again their keen intellects and deep understanding of social phenomena.
I’d like to see somebody open up a children’s modeling agency right next door to a Catholic Church.
I’m bored…
Can we talk about hippie-punching? That always gets me pissy.
Okay, in my old neighbourhood in Melbourne, Australia there’s an Islamic centre with prayer rooms right next door to a “Hustler Erotic Ultralounge”.
No one gives a shit–not the stripper out front grabbing a smoke before her shift starts;nor the bearded devotee rushing by with rug in hand, desperate to make the late afternoon call.
I doubt anyone in NY will care either by next year.
Well, Robert Gibbs has been punching hippies but good lately. Maybe you’d like to talk about that?
But I’m sure everybody else wants to hear more about your boy-crazy co-worker. Talking about her always makes you happy, doesn’t it?
Well, Robert Gibbs has been punching hippies but good lately. Maybe you’d like to talk about that?
Yeah, that’s what I was hinting at. Everybody’s all cranky and fighting on Twitter. It’s just like the good ol’ healthcare reform days.
But I’m sure everybody else wants to hear more about your boy-crazy co-worker. Talking about her always makes you happy, doesn’t it?
If by “happy,” you mean “murderously cranky,” then yes, yes it does.
“TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 17:59
do the Muslim cooties totally cancel the gay cooties, so we’re only supposed to detect the insult to the Muslims (YAY) and not the insult to the victims of 9/11 (BOO)?
Nah, they’re just trying to do some sort of liebral Sophie’s Choice.”
Heh. Nicely put.
Yeah, that’s what I was hinting at.
It’s so weird. I’ve sort of been hoping for some kind of rant of righteous indignation, complete with flop sweat and spittle coating the front row of the White House press room, but I thought The Other Guys would be the target. I don’t exactly have a hair-trigger temper, but I suspect that if I had the President’s job, I would have started looking longingly at clock towers after the 432nd filibuster. But this? Yelling at your own side in a time when you need all the votes you can get? I can’t wrap my head around this thing at all. Maybe he was high.
The closest analogue I can come up with is the time my high-school English teacher completely lost it in class and started complaining that “You all just want to have FUN!” before storming out. In her case, it was a genuine nervous breakdown and we didn’t see her until the following September. I wonder if Gibbs will soon “choose to spend more time with his family.”
a good dose of propaganda in the form of real – as in factual – history and so on.
The Zinnnasium.
Maybe he was high.
He might have lost control a little bit, but I doubt there was any significant deviation from what he really thinks in that outburst. Hippie punching has been conventional political wisdom for a very long time, especially since the press went full wingnut.
I doubt anyone in NY will care either by next year.
Don’t worry, they’ll bus in Concerned Nonlocal Citizens from Alaska, Arizona and the South. You know, those people with such a deep and abiding concern for 9/11 victims’ feelings, let alone New Yorkers’…
“Obama killed Ted Stevens” conspiracy theories in 3… 2… 1…
If you heartless liberals had only let him build that bridge…
Robots’ needs: http://io9.com/5608851/maslows-hierarchy-of-robot-needs#viewcomments
But this? Yelling at your own side in a time when you need all the votes you can get? I can’t wrap my head around this thing at all. Maybe he was high.
Um, yeah, exactly. I mean, like, I’m not really that personally offended–I’ve known that the Obama administration doesn’t give a shit about the fee fees of people like me for some time now. But I don’t understand all these jabs at the left. We don’t have much power, and the only thing it would accomplish is driving people away from the polls. It almost seems like he’s just trying to antagonize people at this point.
Of course, the more “reasonable” Democrats among us think it’s perfectly defensible and a totes a-ok strategy three months before the election. But what do I know? I don’t even know where to find sparklepony feed!
Conservatards are job creators, I’ll give them that. They’ve created a whole new industry: Revenge Architcture.
He might have lost control a little bit, but I doubt there was any significant deviation from what he really thinks in that outburst
I meant that maybe he only said it because he was high. That this is how the White House views the left has been clear since Rahm Emmanual made fun of Trig Palin. But a guy with a job like that should be able to think this sort of thing and prevent it from coming out of his mouth.
Hell, ANY adult should be able to think things without letting them out of his mouth. It’s especially strange when all “the left” has ever done is whined at him, all the while “the center” (Presidents Lieberman, Nelson, Snowe, Collins, Bayh…) keeps pulling away his football.
No one gives a shit–not the stripper out front grabbing a smoke before her shift starts;nor the bearded devotee rushing by with rug in hand, desperate to make the late afternoon call.
I doubt anyone in NY will care either by next year.
Yeah, that’s kind of what makes living in a big city great. Once city block can encompass more diversity than an entire smaller city. I guess it’s hard to understand how that’s possible, much less desirable, if you’ve never lived in one.
wheat, grass, shots
Beer before liquor, never been sicker.
This is fucking spooky. I had a dream last night that I was working as an intern at the National Review, and it turned out that Jonah Goldberg was a cool guy, had lost some weight, and was decent to me despite our political differences.
I’m so glad to see this and be reminded of reality, but it does give me a hearty dose of nausea on behalf of my sick, sick subconscious.
Yeah, that’s kind of what makes living in a big city great. Once city block can encompass more diversity than an entire smaller city. I guess it’s hard to understand how that’s possible, much less desirable, if you’ve never lived in one.
As someone who lives in one, I do love that.
is it just me or is this dough-jo crap just not funny anymore?
how many years can the same ol shit be funny?
but it does give me a hearty dose of nausea on behalf of my sick, sick subconscious
Your subconscious isn’t sick at all, it’s just incurably optimistic, always hoping for the best for people. Even loathsome turds like Loadpants.
Also, I think it’d be a really nice concept to have a gay bar for observant, teetotaling Muslims. Seems counterproductive to sell food they can’t eat there, though.
My point here is that Gutfeld’s point is stupid because what he’s suggesting isn’t offensive at all, and Goldberg’s elaboration is stupid because he takes a non-offensive suggestion and turns it into a deliberately offensive provocation. Acceptance and support of homosexuality is a liberal value, but going into a kosher deli and demanding a ham and cheese sandwich is offensive to everyone but anti-semites. Liberals would prefer if religious people (of whatever stripe) would be more tolerant and open toward homosexuality, but I don’t think there’s liberals demanding that orthodox Jews open their hearts to oyster shooters.
Robots’ needs: http://io9.com/5608851/maslows-hierarchy-of-robot-needs
<3
Um, yeah, exactly. I mean, like, I’m not really that personally offended
And why would you be? Do you get paid for commenting on politics? I mean, like, officially? Because if not, you’re not a member of the professional left.
Got off the boat: it’s nice to know that all we need to do to get our liberal agenda off the ground (e.g. gay rights) is to point out that evil, scary Islamofascists oppose that agenda.
I think that should be our new strategy: “why are you against gay rights? you know who else hates gays? evil mooslim terrorists”, “why do you support off-shore drilling? you know who else drills for oil? Ay-rabs”, “why are you unconcerned about global warming? do you know where it’s really hot? Arabia, that’s where”
*
Also, I think it’d be a really nice concept to have a gay bar for observant, teetotaling Muslims. Seems counterproductive to sell food they can’t eat there, though. – Djur
Indeed. That’s true. Muslims are teetotallers. Just like Baptists.
And why would you be? Do you get paid for commenting on politics? I mean, like, officially? Because if not, you’re not a member of the professional left.
Nope. I felt like it was kind of directed at the supporters of the “professional left,” as well, but obviously, he wasn’t explicitly saying that, so I could be wrong.
nor the bearded devotee rushing by with rug in hand, desperate to make the late afternoon call. – bargal
Did you mean to be ambiguous here?
This is fucking spooky. I had a dream last night that I was working as an intern at the National Review, and it turned out that Jonah Goldberg was a cool guy, had lost some weight, and was decent to me despite our political differences.
*getting bullhorn*
STEP AWAY FROM THE TEQUILA.
My point here is that Gutfeld’s point is stupid because what he’s suggesting isn’t offensive at all, and Goldberg’s elaboration is stupid because he takes a non-offensive suggestion and turns it into a deliberately offensive provocation. Acceptance and support of homosexuality is a liberal value, but going into a kosher deli and demanding a ham and cheese sandwich is offensive to everyone but anti-semites. Liberals would prefer if religious people (of whatever stripe) would be more tolerant and open toward homosexuality, but I don’t think there’s liberals demanding that orthodox Jews open their hearts to oyster shooters.
Well said.
I, also, really hope they carry through and open a gay bar. I foresee two possible outcomes;
1) The “gay bar” becomes a hangout for conservative activist shills, which most of Manhattan’s gays will avoid like the plague and no one but the out of towners will go on pilgrimage to.
2) The gay bar actually works out, in which case in a matter of months, the patrons of both buildings start getting to know each other (riding the bus, riding the metro, standing on the street waiting for the bus or waiting to be picked up, etc etc etc) and – wait for it – DON’T kill each other in a bloody war.
Either way, I’d laugh hysterically.
No imagination. So typical of wingnuts.
If I was gonna go there, I’d suggest a strip club featuring only menstruating dancers. The strippers must retain their high heels and burqua hoods. Patrons can buy warm lard to fling at the girls, or find their own uses for it. For an extra price, one can retire to the Zima room, where the girls will remove their shoes, with which they will beat the patrons in time with christian metal music.
The menu will include bacon-wrapped hot dogs, pork liver pate, and clams au gratin. Every table will have a shaker of bacon salt.
Are you paying attention Loadberg? Loadberg?
how many years can the same ol shit be funny? – bklyn
People still laugh at the “waiter taste the soup” joke. But maybe that’s only because Eddie Murphy tells it so well.
Sometimes the same old shit stops being funny, so you keep doing it with the knowledge that it’s not funny, and then it gets funny again. Don’t ask me to explain.
This thread raises a good question: Why would good conservative patriot Americans live in New York City anyway?
Somebody’s gotta keep an eye on the heathens. Plus, it gives them one more thing to bitch about.
Somebody’s gotta keep an eye on the heathens. Plus, it gives them one more thing to bitch about.
Bingo.
Why would good conservative patriot Americans live in New York City anyway?
They receive subsidized housing from the government due to a court-mandated program to increase the city’s diversity.
They seem to be pretty good at bitching about the Big City Librul Establishment no matter where they live. They can do it just as well in Oklahoma as they could in Librul Hell City.
Why would good conservative patriot Americans live in New York City anyway?
They don’t. The Wolfen eat them.
B^4 is back!
Everyone guard your women and children!Hi buddy!They don’t. The Wolfen eat them.
Wonderful! Any chance Washington DC could borrow said Wolfen? Just for the next time the loud rednecks with misspelt protest signs start cluttering up my metro again?
Just for the next time the loud rednecks with misspelt protest signs start cluttering up my metro again?
Just scare them away with your scary
blackurban youth playing their “rap” music and talking loud.“Why would good conservative patriot Americans live in New York City anyway?”
Limbaugh addressed this about 15 years ago. Basically, if you can make it there, you can make it anywhere.
B^4 is back!
I was going to say that, but I thought maybe I had just accidentally ignored him…
then it gets funny again. Don’t ask me to explain.
A fair chunk of Monty Python’s Flying Circus is this exact thing. It doesn’t always work.
And now – number 1. The Larch. The… larch.
And now – number 1. The Larch. The… larch.
That was supposed to be funny? I thought it was informative.
BTW: T&U can’t stay, as she has to go vote.
B^4 is back!
Yeah, a week in the North Woods, and I came home to a Zardoz infestation!
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 19:35 (kill)
Robots’ needs: http://io9.com/5608851/maslows-hierarchy-of-robot-needs
<3
Boobs in a halter top?
That was supposed to be funny? I thought it was informative.
Hm. I may have misunderstood the entire point to Monty Python.
A fair chunk of Monty Python’s Flying Circus is this exact thing. It doesn’t always work.
Yeah, I think when it works, it WORKS, but when it doesn’t, it’s terrible.
I think the best example is a lot of the stuff that Tom Scharpling and Jon Wurster do on The Best Show on WFMU. So much so that you have to listen a few times to get the hang of it. But when you do, it’s fucking funny.
BTW: T&U can’t stay, as she has to go vote.
I voted a week ago, dammit.
Boobs in a halter top?
Or, if you turn your head the other way, Needle-Dick Johnson, Terror of the Insect World.
Boobs in a halter top?
That was supposed to be a heart, but now I see it…
…. I came home to a Zardoz infestation!
shhh. Nobody here knows what that means.
BTW: T&U can’t stay, as she has to go vote.
BTW, you’re on the “not funny” portion of this joke. I’m not sure it gets funny again, though.
I’m laughing.
Seriously, is anyone surprised that extremist Muslims want to kill us? You’d think they’d be willing to destroy Washington DC just to get Gutfeld and Goldberg.
I’m laughing.
Just because you know it pisses me off!
Hey, maybe the new conservapiggly across from the Al Qa’ida training camp near the WTC could serve more recipes from crazy “stop the school lunch parasites and cook nasty cheese water.”
Why would they do that? I’m sure Al Qa’ida wants people like Goldbutt to have as much influence here as possible, because it hastens our collapse.
Why do you think Al Qa’ida came out and said they didn’t want Bush Jr. re-elected — they didn’t think that the American public would vote along the lines of what Al Qa’ida wanted.
I’m laughing.
Just because you know it pisses me off!
If I were a conservative, I’d have naked women eating pork in front of you.
If I were a conservative, I’d have naked women eating pork in front of you.
Whatever. That sounds hot.
you know who else hates gays? evil mooslim terrorists
Say what you will about the tenets of Islamofascism, Dude, at least it’s an ethos.
If I were a conservative, I’d have naked women eating pork in front of you.
Hoping for N__B to be “mugged by reality” now…
Hoping for N__B to be “mugged by reality” now…
Have you been outside today? You could wring the air like a towel.
Or is that not what you meant?
And now – number 1. The Larch. The… larch.
What? What’s number one? Why are you calling me? WHAT?
Oh.
Never mind.
Hoping for N__B to be “mugged by reality” now…
Right? I guess conservatives aren’t all that bad after all.
I’d have naked women eating
porkwhole wheat sammiches on wheat bread in front of you.Fitsed for more Truculentility.
Have you been outside today? You could wring the air like a towel.
It is pretty goddamn disgusting outside… and this after a week lakeside, in the clean mountain air.
My sense of timing is teh suxx0r.
Truculentility
The word you are searching for, sir, is TruckNutz.
Have you been outside today? You could wring the air like a towel.
I’ll bet we have you beat. What’s your humidity and heat index?
Fitsed for more Truculentility.
Okay, that would make me cry.
Actually, croissants would be worse.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
August 10, 2010 at 19:35 (kill)
Robots’ needs: http://io9.com/5608851/maslows-hierarchy-of-robot-needs
<3
Boobs in a halter top?
Two bits.
whole wheat sammiches on wheat bread
Wheat sandwiches? Could it be … seitan?
seitan
Said dance!
Could it be … seitan?
I don’t like the way that word is spelt.
Rye puns regarding baked goods again? YAY!
I’ll bet we have you beat. What’s your humidity and heat index?
91 degrees, heat index 93.
It’s actually better than I thought it would be outside.
Rye puns regarding baked goods again?
Well, cupcake, you know if there’s a pun to be had, we’ll millet.
91 degrees, heat index 93.
God, I fucking hate the humidity here. It’s 94 with a heat index of 111. I think the relative humidity has actually decreased in the last couple of days, although we’re supposed to have a storm tomorrow.
Oh, and I’m moving tomorrow. I donut want to do it in this weather…
I donut want to do it in this weather…
The hole of your furniture and everything?
The hole of your furniture and everything?
Yup. And naan wants to help me!
Oh, and I’m moving tomorrow. I donut want to do it in this weather…
Piece of cake.
I donut want to do it in this weather…
You sure it’s spelt that way?
Wheat do you expect? Pumpernickel in your friends’ gas budget and maybe you’ll get some help.
Wheat do you expect? Pumpernickel in your friends’ gas budget and maybe you’ll get some help.
I don’t have any friends here to challah at!
Heh.
http://thechive.com/2010/08/10/girl-quits-her-job-on-dry-erase-board-emails-entire-office-33-photos/
Uh-oh. Self-sustaining pun chain alert.
I don’t have any friends here to challah at!
Always the braid, never ther braidsmaid…
I guess that’s what I get for not brownie-nosing someone with a truck…
I guess that’s what I get for not brownie-nosing someone with a truck…
I’m sure you’ll get it done, one way or an oven.
I don’t have any friends here to challah at!
Well gee, you have to flour the people you love with love, give yeast a little of yourself, and you’ll leaven new friendships in no time. Not that that’ll help you tamale; I guess you’ll just have to get off your buns and do it yourself. Start easy, soon you’ll be on a roll.
brownie-nosing someone with a truck…
Ow!
I guess you’ll just have to get off your buns and do it yourself. Start easy, soon you’ll be on a roll.
Such a hero.
You know, it’s easy taco and give advice like that, but when push comes to shove, where are you?
Ow!
I phrased that poorly. I would never batter someone that way.
Oh, and I’m moving tomorrow.
My sincere condolences. I’d rather have a root canal than move…
I phrased that poorly. I would never batter someone that way.
D’Ough!
My sincere condolences. I’d rather have a root canal than move…
Yeah, I can barley stand it.
I mean, not to be bulgur, but it fucking sucks.
speaking of bridge building, it looks like the bridge to nowhere is now a stairway to heaven. or summpin.
If each time you people whined you could earn a dollar and baguette, then you’d be hauling a panaton if you wheeled it around.
If each time you people whined you could earn a dollar and baguette, then you’d be hauling a panaton if you wheeled it around.
By crumb, I do like to whine. I actually consider it a part of my personal bran.
By crumb, I do like to whine. I actually consider it a part of my personal bran.
The French call it “bringing le pain”.
“My sincere condolences. I’d rather have a root canal than move…”
I think the reason that exile is considered a form of punishment is not because it’s so awful living in, say, France. It’s because moving is miserable.
The French call it “bringing le pain”.
Yes. Everyone should pita me.
Always looks like a fart to me.
Yes. Everyone should pita me.
You certainly have reason to crepe.
Ooops. Last 2 sentences mine. I apologize for any injera caused.
Ooops. Last 2 sentences mine. I apologize for any injera caused.
Clearly, your HTML skills are crusty.
Yeah, but such attitudes soon crumble, as peoples’ tiring of hearing it puts a damper on these sentiments.
Why do you raise this issue? You have no proof of this. And there’s no need to be so sourdough.
Why do you raise this issue? You have no proof of this. And there’s no need to be so sourdough.
It seems he was far more interested in panning the entire comment, instead of kneading to explain himself.
It seems he was far more interested in panning the entire comment, instead of kneading to explain himself.
That bagels the question: why is he being such a batard?
That bagels the question: why is he being such a batard?
Bialy accounts, he’s got two parents.
Maybe he just feels the need to be cruller than the rest of us.
I marble at the rye turn this thread has taken.
Ya know I always wnt to play in these threads but I can never think of anything to contribute. It’s like my punny bone is broken.
Maybe he just feels the need to be cruller than the rest of us.
He may think he’s teff, but there’s not a kernel of truth in what he’s saying.
I pita the boule who takes my sammich!!!!!
We often rise to the occasion, though weakness may tempt us to wafer.
Ya know I always wnt to play in these threads but I can never think of anything to contribute. It’s like my punny bone is broken.
Matso fast! I’m sure you have lavash to say!
Uh, that’s should be a “z” in matzo. I’m so poolish.
Uh, that’s should be a “z” in matzo. I’m so poolish.
Heel, girl. “S” is acceptable in some dialects.
“Are these people children-?” I’d say, No, not children, these people’s development seems stuck in the early-adolescent phase 12-14 when the meanest aspects of Human Nature are experimented with along with sex and drugs. Maybe Loadpants & pals never tried the sex & drugs scene, so they’re just stuck as malicious, nay malevolent refugees from the bubble-bum set who’ll never be accepted in real TeenAger Land.
They’re all “Queen Bees & WannaBees”
Hushpuppy, you just haven’t tried. No one will think you’re a macaroon for trying even if you begin with a lady fingered touch, even if it comes off a little tart.
Heel, girl. “S” is acceptable in some dialects.
Ah, so I was right to waffle on that.
Focaccia selves! Biscuts me to the quick to say but you’re all just being nuts.
Christ on a cracker, folks are in a mood this afternoon.
Hushpuppy, you just haven’t tried. No one will think you’re a macaroon for trying even if you begin with a lady fingered touch, even if it comes off a little tart.
I agree. Just do what your marzipan. Nobody will get sorghum.
Focaccia selves! Biscuts me to the quick to say but you’re all just being nuts.
Ciabatta watch out!
Still having to wipe away the tears from that one.
Christ on a cracker, folks are in a mood this afternoon.
It’s all ciabatta the bread we’re not making.
Dammit!
Well I’m laughing now, if nothing else. I kneaded that.
It’s all ciabatta the bread we’re not making.
Not so when rice it happens to choux, huh?
If this bothers you so mulch, I guess those never ending ’80s music threads must have you down on all petits fours. They say you can butter attract flies to honey than with vinegar. And if it takes some egging on, then hope that fortune smiles upon you.
But if you do want to complain, let no one bar your way to half-baked objections.
Not so when rice it happens to choux, huh?
I don’t rub your nose in it, which is biga me.
Well I’m laughing now, if nothing else. I kneaded that.
See? We could totally make a profiterole from this!
But if you do want to complain, let no one bar your way to half-baked objections.
I think you’re slicing this awfully fine.
However, we might eventually roux the day we started this when there’s no crisp ending.
However, we might eventually roux the day we started this when there’s no crisp ending.
I’m rather fond of these threads.
I don’t rub your nose in it, which is biga me.
Am I supposed to toast you for that? Keep waiting, broa!
This just takes the cake. I’ll be shortening my time here if you treat me like that. At least N__B hasn’t weighed in to bear claw me. I’m no cream puff, you know. Pie know which side of my bread is buttered.
This just takes the cake. I’ll be shortening my time here if you treat me like that. At least N__B hasn’t weighed in to bear claw me. I’m no cream puff, you know. Pie know which side of my bread is buttered.
Don’t be such a cream puff. Strudel get over it.
Am I supposed to toast you for that? Keep waiting, broa!
Look, I take these disparate threads and gluten together, K?
Look, I take these disparate threads and gluten together, K?
I do eclaire, you’re awfully filo yourself!
Don’t be such a cream puff. Strudel get over it.
Maybe if he listened to some reggae? I know when I’m feeling edgy, I start to hamantash or Marley and everything feels so much better.
Flatkaka.
Just Flatkaka.
Yeah, you start with one thread and think you can quit, and then someone might be in torta’f a bind and their sticky buns are caught in the middle of any number of layers of references, it gets all stale, and they’re trying to figure out some way to bundt.
Just Flatkaka.
*facepalmier*
I do eclaire, you’re awfully filo yourself!
All these hot cross puns again! Don’t get so croissant with me. You’ll find yourself fighting in beignet.
they’re trying to figure out some way to bundt
Well, then we can just borek.
*facepalmier*
Poor guy cannoli keep up as best he can. Cut him some slack.
For at least a while this is a lot more fun than an office mixer. At least here you can blend in better with people in the fold. You feel like you can still separate rather than mold together in one big bag, though there’s still time to rest.
For at least a while this is a lot more fun than an office mixer.
So you crostata off your list?
I feel slightly ashamed maizing all these puns, but I crouton doing it…
I hope VS has been lurking, I’d hate to think she’s scone because she couldn’t play.
For god’s sake, can’t you people go a month without a bread pun thread?
http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/32534.html
And I swear that isn’t the first one, and actor has done a biga pun before.
You feel like you can still separate rather than mold together in one big bag, though there’s still time to rest.
I’m fondant of that, as well.
For god’s sake, can’t you people go a month without a bread pun thread?
Don’t judge. I missed the first one.
actor has done a biga pun before.
Well, the biga they are…
And I swear that isn’t the first one, and actor has done a biga pun before.
Says you!
Sesame, this is only the second one in a couple of weeks.
What’s your beef? You chicken? Want to just wait in the wings, trimming comments, until you can steer us into what whatever pen you want us in?
Want to just wait in the wings, trimming comments, until you can steer us into what whatever pen you want us in?
For veal, man!
What’s your beef? You chicken? Want to just wait in the wings, trimming comments, until you can steer us into what whatever pen you want us in?
Dude just comes bullion in, thinking he’s all that.
For god’s sake, can’t you people go a month without a bread pun thread?
Proof?
Dude just comes bullion in, thinking he’s all that.
Maybe he’s gelatinous.
bubble GUM set. Scowl.
My daughter is 12 and I’ve been watching her and her sweet friends turn into MONSTERS right before my eyes. NOW I understand the seemingly cruel phenomena called ACNE: it is there to MARK these creatures so everyone who sees them will realize how dangerous they are.
I bet Loadpants still has SEVERE acne.
Maybe you can’t appreciate these threads until they’ve aged a bit. Fresh off the bone they may seem a little tough.
Lurkin’ and laughin’ between working on my current project. Or should I say “currant”? I know, I know…it ain’t great, but I’ll keep trying.
Fresh off the bone they may seem a little tough.
That’s still no reason to come in all rump and butcher us.
Fresh off the bone they may seem a little tough.
It’s good to let it stew a little. Then you’ll wishbone you’d never said anything.
Maybe he’s gelatinous.
I see what you do here.
Muffin you all go on like this?
Muffin you all go on like this?
You can’t take a good ribbing? Maybe you should leave and come back tomarrow.
I’ve got a haunch we’ve moved on from bread puns.
Meat me halfway, huh?
These aren’t a bunch of trotters passing by the counter, they write the best puns they can think of and are on the hook for how their hangers go.
Someone with a helpful nature needs to e-mail Geller & her fellow bottom-feeders & let them know that one of the worst sins in Islam is suicide.
Perhaps a map indicating local high cliffs could be included.
I’ll be loin in the weeds on this one.
These aren’t a bunch of trotters passing by the counter, they write the best puns they can think of and are on the hook for how their hangers go.
Good one. Did you go to collegen?
I’ve got a haunch we’ve moved on from bread puns.
Stew got it!
I’ll be loin in the weeds on this one.
It’s probably good not to have a steak in this one. You never know who will get the chop.
(God, why do puns make me feel so *dirty*?)
I’m not sure if it’s strange or totally consistent that Germany seems to lack the kind of racist movement that’s present at least in France, Britain (BNP), Belgium (Vlaams Blok and its succesors), and Italy (Lega Nord).
There’s the usual bit of anti-immigration politicking in reaction to the large number of Turkish immigrants. And there’s the very very fringe neo-Nazi NPD. But as far as I can tell, really no sense of grassroots Islamophobia that’s so obvious elsewhere.
So if I said, “It’s just gristle for the mill,” would that be a cross-species pun?
For a long time, and it was a burden to shoulder, as I got tired of being pounded by the rhythm of any professor’s drumstick.
one of the worst sins in Islam is suicide.
Onoz. If you let her know this, she may come to the realization that suicide bombers are terrorists. And terrorists are hard describe as good Muslims. And maybe she’ll stop demonizing an entire religion of a billion or so people based on the actions of a few violent extremists.
I suppose I would just roast in hell, instead.
I always go for it, stick your blade in where ever it cuts. Anyone who thinks sinews everything is just a crock.
Anyone who thinks sinews everything is just a crock.
I tendon disagree withers you.
It’s fine — I’m not too tenderized when it comes to disagreement. In fact I should shank you for paying me mutton of attention.
Y’all are such hams.
I’d chuck a compliment in your direction, but it cuts against my grain to do so.
In fact I should shank you for paying me mutton of attention.
You’re welcome, and I flank you for your courtesy.
I tendon disagree withers you.
Yeah, but you’re a well known ham. Pork-que is your tongue so sharp?
DAMMIT
Yeah, but you’re a well known ham. Pork-que is your tongue so sharp?
That’s okay. It was worth a bull fry.
You must’ve out-typed me because you’re such a clean liver.
And you have such heart.
I am not posting too quickly.
You must’ve out-typed me because you’re such a clean liver.
Are you kidney me? My habits are offal!
Don’t skirt the issue — we’ll see how it all carves up by the bottom round.
T&U, you’re so cute I just want to chuck you under the chin.
Here I was, about to say that bread puns were the yeast of our worrys. Perhaps I need to hold my tongue.
Personally, I think you should all be ashamed to fill up these threads with such self-indulgent tripe. I think you need to reassess your life — maybe go talk to a spiritual guide, a priest or al pastor.
Well, we all need to stay grounded, because threads like these are no picnic.
T&U, you’re so cute I just want to chuck you under the chin.
Aww, you’re so sweetbread!
Well, we all need to stay grounded, because threads like these are no picnic ham.
Fixded for greater meatiness.
Actually I think we’ll all roast for this. Really, it’s thigh time we got serious. Sitting around bacon jokes is not going to make the world better.
We aren’t just a bunch of giblets here ’cause it’s our necks we’re sticking out. It’s a real pressure cooker, what with you grilling us on how perfect our answers are.
It’s a real pressure cooker, what with you grilling us on how perfect our answers are.
And here I thought it was rather brisket.
Well you tell us which fork in the road to take, because bad puns make people mad enough to spit.
We aren’t just a bunch of giblets here ’cause it’s our necks we’re sticking out. It’s a real pressure cooker, what with you grilling us on how perfect our answers are.
You turkey. I’m just trying to help out. No need to be so tenderloin.
“Actually I think we’ll all roast for this. Really, it’s thigh time we got serious. Sitting around bacon jokes is not going to make the world better.”
Or butter.
Well, if you sesos.
Well, if you sesos.
She is the brains of the outfit, indeed.
Yeah, so you caught me eye this time, butt it ends here, from tip to tail, and anyone who thinks otherwise can go kabobbing out of here.
That’s it. I need a birria.
I just appreciate all the gentle ribs that go back and forth around here.
The fact is, if we let them build this mosque in New York the Caliphate Wil Have Established Itself in the USA and we loose the war on terror.
Liberals always cheer against USA and freedom.
Wow. It sure sounds like Gary has a steak in the matter.
Gary has a steak in the matter.
All I saw was pie – steak and kidney pie?
Always hungry
I’m in heat
Never, never
Never enough meat
The funny thing is, I was listening to Pink Floyd’s “Animelles” while this was going on.
Does Gary misspell things on purpose? Because he does it in every goddamn post. It almost seems like a put-on.
It almost seems like a put-on.
THE HELL YOU SAY.
Sorry, I’ll stop yelling. Come back?
NO.
The fact is, the current momentum toward austerity, nationally and locally, is the expected outcome of Obama unleashing his misbegotten social-justice, wealth-redistribution genie.
When many pundits were calling the Republican party dead after the 2008 election, Obama couldn’t leave well enough alone. He drew the battle lines of class warfare.
All Obama did was energize Conservatives like me, give rise to the Tea Party and cause several Democrats to lose elections or not run for re-election at all (otherwise known as “I want to spend more time with my children”).
Now Paul Krugman doesn’t like the Conservative push-back. Tough.
Just in case there’s any confusion, here’s what I want (I’ll let other Conservatives speak for themselves).
I want back every penny of tax money that has ever been wasted on societal leeches, lamebrain liberal programs, bailouts for union employers and protecting “sacred” teachers.
I don’t care if every street light stays off, I don’t care if public employee rolls get cut in half, I don’t care if unemployment goes to 15 percent. Not a penny more in higher taxes.
Call me a mean Republican or even a sociopath, if those are the best comebacks you’ve got. But it was Obama who started this class warfare battle and we will finish it. My Conservative brothers and I will vote this nation into austerity one way or another, and there’s nothing Obama can do to stop it now. It’s his own fault.
This shit just got real
Oh yes indeed it has.
_____ / ______ 2012: Because Not Knowing Who You Just Elected Is Half The Fun!
Best. Court. Testimony. EVER.
I’m confused. Is that real Gary or fake Gary? Oh Poe’s Law, why do you vex me so!
Failing to dream up any food-related puns, Gary is reduced to copy-pasta-ing from a NYTimes comment thread. Meta-humour!
Also, UNLEASH THE GENIE!!
All Obama did was energize
Conservativesracists like me…Fikst for moar honesty.
My Conservative brothers and I will vote this nation into
austeritybankruptcy one way or another…C’mon, Gar, what you need is a good editor.
I don’t care if unemployment goes to 15 percent. Not a penny more in higher taxes.
Oh please, please, PLEASE make that the 2010 GOP campaign slogan!!!
This is just too much for me. You all seem to have the secret starter bubbling away where I can’t find it, then I say something that falls flat, and then y’all stand around and groat about it. I am not going to let you all reel me in just so you can make fin of me while I flounder. I will leave this currant; surely a better current is out there.
But it was Obama who started this class warfare battle
Ummm, no! It was Ronald Reagan who decided to declare war on the working people of America for the benefit of the parasitic rentier and managerial classes. And we shall surely finish it. What’s your neck size, Gary? I want to be sure we have the right guillotine in stock.
I want to be sure we have the right guillotine in stock.
I thought we voted for a cliff.
And we could just chuck Gary the clod off.
surely a better current is out there
The great Tesla/Edison debate is renewed.
I think we eventually settled on a cliffotine.
But it was Obama who started this class warfare battle
God, I hate these people. Thirty years of annihilating wages in the private sector, thirty years of taking a piss on the poor and calling it “trickle down economics…” And then all of a sudden when the poor start fighting back they bitch and whine that it’s unfair.
Jesus Christ, people! You’re rugged individualists! Pull yourselves together! Take charge of the war you started!
Now Paul Krugman doesn’t like the Conservative push-back. Tough.
What the hell is it with the Jews, Gary? By God, there are exceptions. But Gary, generally speaking, you can’t trust the bastards. They turn on us.
I am tired of all this class warfare from the scumbag majority who keeps mouthing up quietly about the super-rich getting richer and the majority getting devastated. It makes you sick of these proletarians feeding their own worst urges.
Man.
Sorry about your thread, folks. I’m going to leave now, so you won’t have Dick Nixon to kick around anymore.
…and take Checkers with you!
The fact is, the current momentum toward austerity, nationally and locally, is the expected outcome of Obama unleashing his misbegotten social-justice, wealth-redistribution genie.
Um, what?
So the fact that it started under Bush means nothing? And isn’t it a CONSERVATIVE meme to do more with less?
Call me a mean Republican or even a sociopath, if those are the best comebacks you’ve got.
How little credit you give us…
“Fucking loon” springs to mind.
He’s more of a median Republican.
Call me a mean Republican or even a sociopath
If the shoe fits, etc.
The fact is, the current momentum toward austerity, nationally and locally, is the expected outcome of Obama unleashing his misbegotten social-justice, wealth-redistribution genie.
The fact is, I call Fake Gary. Real Gary could not spell momentum, austerity, misbegotten, or redistribution correctly.
I think we eventually settled on a cliffotine.
Is that when you throw someone off a cliff and when they land, their head gets chopped off?
I’m in favor.
So fact that it started under Bush means nothing?
History began on January 20, 2009.
Who is this Bush fellow you speak of?
I think we eventually settled on a cliffotine.
Is that when you throw someone off a cliff and when they land, their head gets chopped off?
No. It’s what Claven gets from cigarettes.
Obama unleashing his misbegotten social-justice, wealth-redistribution genie.
VOPR?
No. It’s what Claven gets from cigarettes.
So is what he drinks a cliffotini?
What happened was that Bush Sr. was cheated out of office by Ross Perot. Bill Clinton came in and ruined the economy until Newt Gingrich balanced the budget. But in the meantime Clinton had hollowed out the military because he was a draft dodging stoner and this made him rape a lot of women and kill children with trains while running drugs out of Arkansas.
Then Al Gore tried to steal some election, and then Bill Clinton let 9/11 happen.
Then we brought in George W. Bush Jr. as Commander Guy to KeepUSafe from another attack and stop Saddam Hussein from invading the USA and taking our babies off of respirators to feed them to Al Qa’ida. Then Bush Jr. did the SURGE which fixed everything in Iraq.
A little bit later after being saved from Al Qaidaban gaysexual attack, Kenyonesian Barack Obama took the Presidency by ACORN and SEIU thugs and caused the economy to collapse by handing trillions of dollars to Jew bankers and Fannie and Freddie because Jimmy Carter used the CRA to make banks give free houses to coloreds who couldn’t afford them and by making the deficit kill all the jobs and taxing us into high inflation.
Since then Tea Party revolutionaries copied the Constitution and the Founding Fathers down on secret notepads so the Obama spies couldn’t burn them and they fought against Stalinist forces to try and stop Obamacare from killing all our grandparents.
This is what happened and why it is crazy for damn socialist libruls to think that George W. Bush Jr. was President when he clearly never was and it was all Bill Clinton, Barney Frank, Chris Dodd, Nancy Pelosi, and then Barack Obama and Bill Ayers.
No. It’s what Claven gets from cigarettes.
Unfortunately the character of Cliff Clavin was ruined for me when I found out that John Ratzenberger is currently a Teabagger.
Then again, who better to play a yutz than a yutz?
This is what happened and why it is crazy for damn socialist libruls to think that George W. Bush Jr. was President when he clearly never was
Almost 10 years later and the wingnuts finally reach the same conclusion some people already made on December 12, 2000.
Then Bush Jr. did the SURGE which fixed everything in Iraq.
Not that there was anything to fix in the first place, of course.
A little bit later after being saved from Al Qaidaban gaysexual attack, Kenyonesian Barack Obama took the Presidency
Kenyonesia? That sounds like a fun country. Can we go to war with Kenyonesia next?
That last post of yours is an eerily accurate replica of the wingnut mindset , El Cid.
That is totally wrong. In 2006 the election of the party of traitors to Congress meant that Al Qa’ida knew that Nancy Pelosi would make the American people think that Iraq was a mess.
Before Nancy Pelosi and John Kerry could start giving money to have Al Qa’ida kill US troops as we retreated with white flags and diapers, Commander Guy Bush Jr. called in General David Gaius Glaucus Julius Marcus Aurelius Antonio Banderas Petraeus, and he single-handedly stopped the Democrats and the librul Jew media traitors from surrendering our military to Ahmedinajad and went on to make everything great in Iraq.
Since Commander Guy fixed Iraq we are now able to stay in Iraq forever thanks to our SURGE victory.
That last post of yours is an eerily accurate replica of the wingnut mindset , El Cid.
*Squints at El Cid*
Ya’ll got some ID there, fellah?
Only my Minutemen militia badge and my gold-plated Confederate flag.
The fact of the matter is …
Here’s how it will go down.
So is the pork supposed to work like kryptonite or something?
Here’s how it will go down.
There’s another one almost as good;
People like him are the reason nobody believed Cassandra.
So is the pork supposed to work like kryptonite or something?
No, that’s scrapple. It will kill anything.
Just watched Malcolm Reynolds put a huge tattooed gangster through an engine, for the tenth or eleventh time. That really never gets old.
Good old Cap’n Mal.
Nan of you are serious,
oh, we’ve moved onto meat; theres going to be a kofta to pay!
Larkspur: “secret starter bubbling”… Very well expressed. I admire and enjoy the punny thread, but alas! “punny” is the best I can do in that area.
That was me.
And FDR! You forgot FDR!!
I didn’t have to. Ronald Reagan undid everything that Communist ever did, except the stuff he didn’t.
I said: “I’ll see you in divorce court. At 71, I’m not used to having a child’s car seat in my life. It’s like having cocaine. It’s just not me.”
Therefore, Jesus in my President. The Word of God declares that Jesus, returning from the dead to defy death and the grave, is the Ruler Maximum.
Imagine a picture of some guy standing next to a huge prop ruler.
Thank you. My work here is done.
Breitbart, sex with goat shocker, Mickey Kaus unavailable for comment:
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/4ce276af14/andrew-breitbart-has-sex-with-goats?rel=player
I’ve been waiting for the, um, creatively edited snippets of Blartblart to start showing up. I’ve been tempted to make some, but of course, that would involve actually watching clips of him, and my stomach just ain’t that strong.
General David Gaius Glaucus Julius Marcus Aurelius Antonio Banderas Petraeus
Is this the Am I Not Merciful guy or the I’ll have my vengeance in this life or next guy?
This is the guy who looks like a turtle.
Who make Trig have many, many good days in a row. I remove my headcovering to this exquisite construction.
Unfortunately, many of our compatriots are stuck in the pig-iron age.
It is not right for someone to have hair that so much resembles the lid of a flip-top rubbish-bin. When I look at that picture I cannot help imagining that if you step on Jonah’s foot, the top of his head lifts up.
And FDR! You forgot FDR!!
Ronald Reagan claims he never left the party, the party left him… so it’s all good, FDR would have been one of them if he were alive today.
When I look at that picture I cannot help imagining that if you step on Jonah’s foot, the top of his head lifts up.
If he were a well-designed novelty bin, he would spout right-wing mottos as his top flipped up.
[step] “A equals A” [flip]
[step] “Cut taxes! Laffer curve!” [flip]
And so on.
If he were a well-designed novelty bin, he would spout right-wing mottos as his top flipped up.
“C’mon Mom! A little privacy, please!”
OH FUCK THE DUDE WHO DIRECTED “CLOVERFIELD” IS DIRECTED THE AMERICAN VERSION OF “LET ME IN”???
It’s going to suck, isn’t it?
If he were a well-designed novelty bin, he would spout right-wing mottos as his top flipped up.
To tie in thread threads:
“Always be a good burger!”
Good morning, fuckers.
OH FUCK THE DUDE WHO DIRECTED “CLOVERFIELD” IS DIRECTED THE AMERICAN VERSION OF “LET ME IN”???
Wait, is this the same as Let the Right One in?
Because that movie was some mean fucking perfection.
OH FUCK THE DUDE WHO DIRECTED “CLOVERFIELD” IS DIRECTED THE AMERICAN VERSION OF “LET ME IN”???
J. J. Abrams skeptics of the world, unite…
Wait, is this the same as Let the Right One in?
Yes, sorry, that’s what I meant. They changed the title to “Let Me In.” And yes, it was amazing. This looks terrible. I couldn’t hear the preview, but it looks like they made it into a thriller. And they refer to the vampire character as “she.”
J. J. Abrams skeptics of the world, unite…
J.J. Abrams produced it, but I don’t trust his ass, either.
I think we eventually settled on a cliffotine.
Is that when you throw someone off a cliff and when they land, their head gets chopped off?
Which you watch from the comfort of a chaise lounge sipping your cliffotini.
J.J. Abrams produced it, but I don’t trust his ass, either.
My mistake. Who was the director? So I know to avoid him.
Also speaking of American remakes, anyone know if “Dinner for Schmucks” was any good?
OH FUCK THE DUDE WHO DIRECTED “CLOVERFIELD” IS DIRECTED THE AMERICAN VERSION OF “LET ME IN”???
Could be worse. Could be Michael Bay, in which case Elli and Oliver blow up.
Also speaking of American remakes, anyone know if “Dinner for Schmucks” was any good?
It had some excellent moments – I thought I was going to have a coronary during the scene at the IRS office – but it’s not great.
J.J. Abrams produced it, but I don’t trust his ass, either.
So can we discuss the final season of Lost? Someone please tell me it was good and I just wasn’t paying enough attention.
Which you watch from the comfort of a chaise lounge sipping your cliffotini.
AHEM.
Answering my own question – Matt Reeves, who apparently met J. J. Abrams when he was 13. And he wrote “Under Siege 2: Dark Territory?” Heckuva reference, Brownie.
Bite me. I assume no responsibility for reading a thread that doesn’t feature me.
Under Siege 2 was the best of the sequels.
So can we discuss the final season of Lost? Someone please tell me it was good and I just wasn’t paying enough attention.
Nobody wants to hear me complain about that again…
Where exactly did Ted Stevens’ plane crash?
Under Siege 2 was the best of the sequels.
There were other sequels? Man.
Also speaking of American remakes, anyone know if “Dinner for Schmucks” was any good?
Two words: Steve. Carrell.
Nuff said. It sucked.
Where exactly did Ted Stevens’ plane crash?
Twenty miles northeast of Dillingham Alaska.
Twenty miles northeast of Dillingham Alaska.
And Samaritans helped the survivors? Talk about a diaspora.
And Samaritans helped the survivors? Talk about a diaspora.
Well played.
Bite me. I assume no responsibility for reading a thread that doesn’t feature me.
I assume that was directed at me? I’m normally an equal-opportunity “AHEM”er, but I suppose I can make an exception for you. And your ego.
Answering my own question – Matt Reeves, who apparently met J. J. Abrams when he was 13. And he wrote “Under Siege 2: Dark Territory?” Heckuva reference, Brownie.
*sob* This movie is going to suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
*sob* This movie is going to suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
Yeah, but you can go around telling all your friends about how much better the swedish original was. Nobody dislikes that person.
Yeah, but you can go around telling all your friends about how much better the swedish original was. Nobody dislikes that person.
Oh, God. I’m *always* that person. I hate myself.
Yeah, but you can go around telling all your friends about how much better the swedish original was. Nobody dislikes that person.
Your comment was much funnier in the original Swedish:
Ja, men du kan gå omkring och berätta alla dina vänner om hur mycket bättre det svenska originalet. Ingen ogillar den personen.
bork bork bork
Your comment was much funnier in the original Swedish:
That made a little bit of coffee come out my nose.
That made a little bit of coffee come out my nose.
Drinking problem, eh?
you can go around telling all your friends about how much better the swedish original was.
Also, “Insomnia”.