Sadly, No!

More of the usual from our pal George T. at the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler:

Oh, that one again. They should assign numbers to them, like that old joke about the convicts telling jokes. “Ha ha!” the convict says, “Number 42!” The blockhouse cracks up. “Ooh, ooh!” another one says, “109!” Everyone cracks up. “I got one,” the littlest convict says. “Number 87!” He’s greeted by silence. “What? Number 87! What’s not funny?” An old hand speaks up: “…It’s not the joke, George; it’s how you tell it.”
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Well, I’m convinced. I admit I had my doubts at times, but as the man said, we’re winning in Iraq, and it’s a hell of a lot better to be fighting those 9/11 terrorists over there, by spreading democracy in the mideast, than fighting them on US soil. That’ll show the liberal media and the naysayer Democrats.

Thanks, you’ve been very helpful. That’s all I wanted to know.

[Columbo turns around, hunched over in his dirty overcoat and pointing an index finger.] Oh wait, one thing.

What about…

this and this
and this
and this and this and this
and this
and this
and this and this and this and this and this and this and…

By Adam Yoshida:

Without Watergate, there’d have been no defeat in Vietnam.

Because you can never have enough Jim Rutz, here’s his latest column, called “From Basket Case to Boomtown Without a Dime of Aid” (and surprisingly, the title is not a reference to Jim’s mental state):

One of the worst places in the world was Kiambu, Kenya, a suburban district nine miles north of the capital, Nairobi.

“For years, their slogan was ‘Kiambu: We’re Still Better Than Toledo.'”
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Well, we’ve got another pointless Bush speech tonight. Don’t bother watching it, I’ll summarize it for you right now:

1.) God told me to promote freedom after Saddam destroyed the World Trade Center.

2.) Democrats are pansies who wanted to let Saddam use nukular weapons on unborn children.

3.) We must stay the course.

4.) Staying the course is hard work.

5.) Just like pulling out early won’t stop pregnancy, pulling out of Iraq won’t stop terrorism.

6.) I think about Iraq every day.

7.) Thinking is hard work.

UPDATE: For a more serious (and thoughtful) prediction, see Digby.

More predictions: The Left Coaster. And of course, The Editors.

Senator Man-on-Dog Sex trashes my home town (via CapitolBuzz):

Priests, like all of us, are affected by culture. When the culture is sick, every element in it becomes infected. While it is no excuse for this scandal, it is no surprise that Boston, a seat of academic, political and cultural liberalism in America, lies at the center of the storm.

So any place that’s cultural, has a lot of colleges, and elects Democrats must be a breeding ground for pedophelia.

Here’s how it works:
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At Gavin’s request, I’ve decided to pay more attention to Renew America’s Edward Daley. I’m already regretting it.

Today, Edward makes a “Top 10 List” of the things he’d do if he were president. Since I’m writing a presidential platform of my own, I was hoping Edward’s piece would give me some fresh ideas (so far, my agenda consists of having sex in the Oval Office and forcing the State Department to bake me pies).

Unfortunately, this was all I got:

10 things I’d do if I were the Commander-In-Chief

Edward Daley

If I became the President of the United States tomorrow, the first thing I’d do is hold a press conference, and condemn the actions of the Republican “moderates” who sold out their constituents during the recent filibuster fight in the Senate. I’d call them cowards for not supporting those outstanding judicial nominees who’ve been constantly denigrated by liberals over the past two years, and leave no doubt in anyone’s mind that I was NOT concerned with my party, but with the moral and ethical foundation upon which conservatism is built.

I.e., passing pork-barrel spending bills to please lobbyists, running up record deficits, and using federal tax dollars to push religious dogma.
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No!

Donald Rumsfeld, March 29, 2005:

Q Yeah, what do you think about negotiation with the leaders of the insurgency?

SEC. RUMSFELD: Well, I — it’s a definitional issue. The first thing I would say about that, that’s up to the Iraqi people. It’s the Iraqis’ country, and it’s the Iraqis’ government. And they’re going to have to make those judgments.

June 26, 2005:

US officials in Iraq have had talks with leaders of the anti-US insurgency, Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld says.

Lawrence Di Rita, February 22, 2005:

But ultimately, as I said, it’s Iraqis, Iraqi government, that will decide the terms on which any of this happens. Negotiations aren’t for the United States to conduct, and to my knowledge, we’re not conducting negotiations.

June 26, 2005:

Quoting Iraqi sources, the Sunday Times said insurgent commanders “apparently came face to face” with four American officials during the talks held on 3 and 13 June at a summer villa near Balad, about 40 miles (60km) north of Baghdad.

Donald “east, west, south and north somewhat” Rumsfeld speaks:

Defeating the insurgency may take as long as 12 years, he [Rumsfeld] said, with Iraqi security forces, not U.S. and foreign troops, taking the lead and finishing the job. [Emphasis added, passing of responsibiltiy for messes you created in the original

Wait before you call though:

“Insurgencies tend to go on five, six, eight, 10, 12 years,” Rumsfeld said on “Fox News Sunday.”

Apparently, Rumsfeld isn’t using the same calculator as General Myers:

And so, sure, we work on it every day. But I wouldn’t look for results tomorrow. This is a — this — one thing we know about insurgencies is that they last from, you know, three, four years to nine years.

Thomas Friedman, the Art Buchwald of the op-ed page, turns to comedy:

Ah, those French. How silly can they be? The European Union wants to consolidate its integration and France, trying to protect its own 35-hour workweek and other welfare benefits, rejects the E.U. constitution. What a bunch of antiglobalist Gaullist Luddites! Yo, Jacques, what world do you think you’re livin’ in, pal? Get with the program! It’s called Anglo-American capitalism, mon ami.

No, it’s called shut your motherfucking pie hole you annoying piece of excrement. There. It sure is fun poking fun at Thomas Friedman.

The French economic instinct is not one we want to start emulating now, just as the global playing field is being flattened, bringing in more competitors from Poland to China to India. This is a time to play to our strengths of openness, flexibility and willingness to embrace creative destruction, and lead on free trade.

Just as? Except for Tom Friedman, is there any sentient adult over the age of 21 who hasn’t known about a “global playing field” for a couple of decades by now?