Sadly, No!

Left: Rebecca Hagelin, Heritage Foundation Vice President and author of Home Invasion: Protecting Your Family in a Culture That’s Gone Stark Raving Mad.
Right: Nellie Oleson.

…Because there’s simply never enough thread around here!

Cheney on the Gitmo detainees:

“They’re very well treated down there. They’re living in the tropics. They?re well fed. They’ve got everything they could possibly want,” Cheney said in a CNN interview.

Sounds like Cheney’s dream vacation involves being left chained to the ground until he shits his pants.

Somehow, I’m not surprised.

Personally, I think this sucks:
Read the rest of this entry »

[Stolen from The Daily Show ’cause it’s so darn funny.]

President Bush, uh, talks:

President Hosts United States – European Union Summit

I want to appreciate [sic] Council President Juncker and Commission President Barroso, the High Representative Solana and the delegation for coming to the White House today. …

We talked about the Middle East. We support the vision of two democratic states, Israel and Palestinian [sic] living side by side in peace. We talked about Iraq. … We talked about Afghanistan … We talked about the broader Middle East … We talked about the Ukraine and Georgia, as well as the Balkans. … We talked about terrorism. We talked about visas. We talked about the need to continue to share information to make sure that we cut off money flows to terrorist groups and prevent terrorist organizations from obtaining weapons of mass destruction. We talked about Iran … We talked about our collaborative efforts in Darfur. … We talked about our economies. … We spent a lot of time talking about China … And so we talked about how we can work together to make sure that the world trades more freely and more fairly for the sake of our — for the sake of our peoples. …

To top it off, Bush shows what friends are for:

PRESIDENT BUSH: He’s done a good job, and I value his friendship. I know it’s really important for people at our — when we sit down at the table, to have a friendship, so we can discuss things in a frank way, in an honest way, without fear of being able to tell people what’s on our mind.

Not a friendship with each other — just, you know, a friendship.

It would be wise for The Editors to not underestimate our powers.

Just sayin’.

I was strapped to the zebra-striped Barcalounger in Kaye Grogan’s rumpus room. She was about to read another poem. If I’d had a hand free I would have reached up my nose and yanked out my skull, and beat myself in the head with it.

“Just one more,” I said. “And then perhaps…”

“Yes, Mr. Notgay?” Kaye said with big eyes and the same disturbing gap in her Jaguarundi-skin robe. You could say I’d seen an opening.
Read the rest of this entry »

The Editors have thrown down the gauntlet. We shall respond in kind.

HELTER SKELTER

When I get to the bottom I go back to the top of the slide,
Where I stop and I turn and I go for a ride,
Till I get to the bottom and I see you again!

Read the rest of this entry »

Our spies tell us that The Editors are all blustering about starting another kitten war.

You’d think he’d walk more softly after last time, when his site got destroyed and he had to get all new kittens because the old ones were eaten. Like, jeez.

PS: I found this great graphic on the internet. Now we can ask for donations!

Make sure you check out the latest episode of Battle-Action Bush and the Keyboard Kommandos, by the way…