Sadly, No!

It’s hard to believe and yet it’s true — the beginning of July 2005 marked the second anniversary of Sadly, No!

We’re not amazed we toughed it so long; we’re amazed that you have.

Indeed, some of you (Yosef and Frederick,) have been with us for a long time now. Why? No one knows for sure. Is it because their spouse has locked them out of their bedroom and they need to do something, or because they don’t know how to change the home page setting in their browser? The important thing is: no matter what we’ve posted, (some) people have come. With around 1,500 posts and over 13,000 comments (most of them coming from Brad R. and Gavin M.,) S,N! has been, well, S,N! Are we grateful? Yes. Are we concerned about you? Big time.

Were we not such a lazy people, we’d have prepared a special post involving lots of work with links to our greatest hits, or a special anniversary tribute. Well, if we’ve proven anything over the last two years, it is that we are that lazy.

So now what? Well, we say thanks: thanks to you who searched for spur-m on google, thanks to the guest bloggers that have stopped by over the years: you may remember them from such blogs as World O’Crap or The Dark Window; thanks to Brad R. and Gavin M. for joining such a disreputable outfit as we’ve become busy with non-blog related program activities. Over the last two years we’ve promised little and delivered less, so let us make this pledge for the future: you have our word that Sadly, No! will never “clump up or turn gooey.”

Because I hate you all, here’s Brian Cherry’s latest column:

Whenever an American Soldier Loses His Life a Liberal Gets His Wings

There are a few laws that govern life. For example, if you drop Al Franken from the Sears Tower in Chicago, gravity will drive him into the pavement at a rate of thirty two feet per second.

We’re one line into the op-ed, and Brian’s already fantasizing about murder. You get the feeling this isn’t going to be a very uplifting column.
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Brian Cherry aside, there’s something to be said for gargantuan, untrammelled, homicidal anger, and if Hindrocket and Michelle Malkin had been here yesterday, I would have been saying it into their ears, which I would have been holding like a hand of pink, cartilaginous playing cards as the rest of their biomass cooled on the floor.
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The Daily Mirror, a British tabloid, has a thread of condolences sent from all over the world.

Another classic Malkin trick: quoting commentors at the Democratic Underground and the Daily Kos to prove that the left loves terrorism.

Here is one of the comments she posts to prove that Democrats are weak on terror:

My condolences to the people of Britain, this madman of ours is fucking up the entire world.

But uh-oh! Look at what the comment directly below it says:

Let’s not get hysterical about Bush’s role in this. I think al Qaeda and their ilk would be hitting us again just like this regardless of what we had done. They aren’t attacking us because Republicans are in office here and they didn’t attack us on 9/11 because Republicans were in office then.

When will the shameless douchebaggery cease?
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We here at Sadly, No! have put up with a lot over the last week. First, the Editors challenged our kitten manhood. Then he sent his two kitten-loving goons, Norbizness and Hilzoy to do his dirty work for him. But now, he’s delivered the final insult and invited a member of our nemesis blog, Crooked Timber, to post at his site. Worse yet, this Crooked Timberite (whom I shall refer to as “Ned Marlow”) has come over to our site and taunted us in our own comments section.

Of all the outrages we’ve suffered recently, this one might be the most, uhm, outrageous! And now, by the powers vested in me by, well, Seb, I declare… CATPOCALYPSE NOW!!!!

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Ted Barlow of the criminal Crooked Timber site invading The Poor Man

Newsmax must be really desperate for revenue if they’re accepting ads like this:

I mean, miracle breathing scams and ancient Chinese love-making secrets are one thing, but come on, the Mark of the Beast? How stupid do they think their readers are?

Well, if this website is any indication, they think their readers are appallingly stupid. Seriously, Newsmax readers shouldn’t be allowed to brush their teeth unless they use special brushes designed with extra-soft protective padding to prevent them from accidentally gouging out their eyes. I mean, just look at this:
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As we suspected! Criminal strongman Ted Barlow of the evil, neighbor-threatening so-called ‘Crooked Timber’ rogue outlaw state has just launched an invasion of the Poor Man!

No, we’re not kidding. WE thought we were kidding — but there’s Barlow all right, plain as day, laughing that chilling laugh of his.

We must defend Norbizness and Hilzoy, and that other guy. It is clearly a time for action. Brad, are we powerless against Crooked Timber’s evil, or is there…a plan for just such an occasion?