Sadly, No!

Les Kinsolving, talk radio host and White House reporter

‘Actual’ in the sense that one of them is real. Can you spot the real one? [Additional reporting by Pinko Punko, John Cleland, Ice Weasel, Bistroist, Yosef, Jeff Perado, teh l4m3, and the SadNo staff.]

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Thanks to Gavin M. (scroll down or click here,) we discover Brad Snyder, which in turns leads us to click on the link to Marie Jon’ (well, she’s cute, and we already know Frank Salvato,) which takes us to PeoplePolitical.Org, whose motto is “Where it’s ok to be right.” Greeting us there is this rather interesting image:

So, among those issues “that your [sic] change your world,” we have terrorist attacks on the eve of the Olympic announcement (Sadly, No!), and the 12 bad people of the Supreme Court. (12 Angry Justices?)

Gentlemen, start your wingnuts!

The name seemed fake enough, the column billowed a dizzying stink, and we thought we’d spotted an entry in our contest to submit bonk-headed wingnut screeds to American Daily.

But no, Brad Snyder is actually real.

Meet Brad Snyder, and don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Our smooth-pated Pericles of the retail-management profession, Justin Darr, has manned his jaunty pen again, creating what you’d have to call a piece of intentional fiction — as opposed to the usual, accidental kind for which we love him so well.

An evil plan is brewing at the mosque — and that’s ‘Plan’ with a capital ‘P,’ and that rhymes with ‘T,’ and that stands for…Terror.

Because the Imam is going to be super-pissed when he hears the beats from that turntable setup. Even in the decadent West, crunkin’ in the mosque is strictly harem.
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Michelle Malkin writes:

White House press secretary Scott McClellan got grilled yesterday afternoon on Rove/Plame-mania and came under intense pressure from the MSM hounds […] I actually have no problem with McClellan getting justifiably barked at during his daily briefings (if only we had more Les Kinsolvings to press the White House from the right, especially on illegal immigration).

Ah yes, if only! For those of you who don’t know, Kinsolving is WorldNetDaily’s White House correspondent, and he’s officially taken Jeff Gannon’s job as the press gaggle’s court jester. Let’s check out his greatest hits:

6/20/05:

WND: Senator Chuck Hagel is quoted by U.S. News & World Report as saying, “Things aren’t getting better; they’re getting worse. The White House is completely disconnected from reality. The reality is we’re losing in Iraq.” And my first question: Would you deny that Al-Jazeera loves such statements by Republican senators and Senator Durbin?

Because nothing emboldens our enemies more than exercising our Constitutionally-protected right to criticize our incompetent Commander-in-Chief.
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These, needless to say, come from the same article:

The essence of modern liberalism is laziness. […] The Left’s thinking is based on their love for the over simplification of complex problems[.]

They don’t call him the hottest new conservative writer on the web for nothing. Oh, wait.

After a mysterious two-week absence, Pastor Swank is back with a vengence. Let’s recap some of the highlights:

Column #1: “PICK YOUR EVIL POCKET. BUSH: AMERICA WILL NOT RETREAT”

I think the Pastor meant to say “pick your poison,” but like a poorly-translated Japanese microwave instruction book, you can never be certain what he’s really talking about.

I have often said (to change the figure of speech), “In every garden there is a snake.” It all dates back to Eden.

Since Eden’s serpent slithered across the turf, the devil has been in the plan. It’s a given in a spiritually damaged world. Therefore, only the fools hope for a perfect sphere here. And the fools of course are the political liberals who promise the perfect world while demanding the conservatives provide it.

When was the last time any of us demanded that conservatives provide a “perfect world?” I only asked them to not screw it up any further- a plea that has clearly been in vain.
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Incidentally, I was leafing through Ben Shapiro’s latest book, Porn Generation, in my local bookstore today. I only read five pages, but they were the most unintentionally hilarious pages of any book ever written, as Ben bitched at length about dirty Superbowl ads involving scantily-clad women (whom he’s really repelled by) and Mike Ditka shilling for Levitra. There hasn’t been such a startling depiction of puritanical sexual frustration since Malvolio stalked the Lady Olivia in Shakespeare’s classic comedy Twelfth Night– in fact, I expect Ben to don yellow stockings any day now in hopes of wooing the Fair Lady Coulter.

Anyway, long story short, I was really, really tempted to buy it, except:

a.) It cost $28.

b.) That’s $28 more than Ben deserves.

So, I’m going to write Regnery and ask them to send me a copy to review for a popular internet magazine (a.k.a., Sadly, No!). Failing that, I’m just gonna steal the damn thing. Let me know if you’ve got any ideas for how to get a copy of Porn Generation that don’t involve breaking the law or giving Ben any money (I should actually try the Boston Public Library, now that I think of it…).

I’ve never been very good at dating, probably because I have a very low tolerance for bullshit (which is what 90% of dating consists of), and because I’m really cheap. Even so, I’m far more qualified to give dating advice than the columnists at MSN Dating and Personals, who, as Amanda of Pandagon has noted, know less about dating than the political roundtable at Scarborough Country (few remember that Pat Buchanan got his start writing at right-wing teeny-bop ‘zines with articles like “Traditional or Trampy? A Girl’s Guide to Dressing Morally” and “He Invited You to a Prayer Luncheon? Girl, He’s Totally Into You!”).

MSN’s latest dating quiz is called “Are you too nice?”, and like all MSN dating quizzes, it asks readers to respond to situations that only occur in Meg Ryan movies. And of course, the quiz limits you to two options, one of which sucks, the other of which blows. I decided to spice things up by adding in my own answers to give people a real choice. Enjoy!
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President rejects timetable for withdrawal, saying the struggle ‘is worth it’

Meanwhile, back in the jungle…

LONDON, July 10 — The United States and Britain are drawing up plans to withdraw the majority of their troops from Iraq by the middle of next year, according to a secret memo written for British Prime Minister Tony Blair by Defense Secretary John Reid.

[link]

In other news, the President’s pants burst into flames during a public appearance at the G-8 Summit.