Posted on July 6th, 2005 by Gavin M.
[Update and correction: American Daily is a wingnut site featuring Edward Daley, while the Daley Times-Post is Daley’s own daily wingnut site. You can see how confusion might take hold.]
While finishing the upcoming episode of An Assful of Secrets, our noir serial featuring Richard Widmark as a peripatetic French-Canadian anti-wingnut detective (yes, we know it’s behind schedule), we noticed that Atrios linked, sending readership temporarily through the roof.
Also, we noticed the submission guidelines below, posted at Edward Daley’s American Daily site — a fountain of news and commentary for unhinged wingnuts who find World Net Daily and Newsmax to be too intellectual and nuanced.
Edward Daley’s strangely fake-looking column portrait
Daley is our angry dittohead friend who suggests coating American military ammunition in pig’s blood, to help further America’s standing in the Muslim world.
So hey now, one realizes, these are two great things that taste great together! Welcome, O transient surge of Eschaton visitors, to the Web’s only mock right-wing punditry contest, featuring (heh heh) publication in American Daily — and prizes!
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Posted on July 6th, 2005 by Brad
WorldNetDaily– they cover the stories that are too retarded for the liberal press:
A network of Christian groups that minister to homosexuals says the United Church of Christ’s decision to endorse same-sex marriage lacks a truly compassionate approach to the issue.
Yes, rather than letting homosexuals affirm their commitment to each other, we should compassionately strap them in chairs, inject them with pain-inducing serum and make them watch gay porn films until the mere thought of doing anything fruity makes them violently ill. Something like this:
“Gah!! It’s a sin! It’s a sin to use Boy George like that! He never buggered anyone, he just made music!… OK, so maybe he did bugger some people, but it’s still wrong!!!”
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Posted on July 5th, 2005 by Brad
Has anyone ever seen a live-action Japanese kids’ show from the sixties called Gimme Gimme Octopus? I only mention it because it stands alongside the Great Wall of China, the Sistine Chapel and the Great Pyramid as one of humanity’s finest achievements.
The show revolves around a red octopus and his sidekick, a giant peanut:
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Posted on July 4th, 2005 by
(No, we don’t know who that is either.)
Men of Words or Deeds?
Democrats’ unwillingness to bomb the smithereens out a country that had nothing to do with 9-11 proves that they don’t have a plan to deal with terrorism.
PS: Happy 4th of July everybody!
Posted on July 3rd, 2005 by
except, well, you figure it out. Newsmax has an important message for all of us:
Those who followed my timely advice on Dragon Gold just witnessed one of the easiest doubles of all-time. I TOLD YOU that near-term developments would send the DRGO share-price substantially higher – and that is precisely what occurred.
Yes, I am talking about a share-price gain of 125% in just 12 trading days!
ACTION ALERT: Do not beat yourself up if you missed Dragon Gold’s dramatic triple-digit rise. The NEXT near-term profit window on DRGO shares is fast approaching and will be even more profitable than the last.
The stock went up, for one day, in March. Unless you happened to sell you shares on that exact day, you’re pretty much fucked:
Thanks Newsmax!
Posted on July 3rd, 2005 by
Rush is back from the Middle East, where he spent some time in… Afghanistan:
Memories…
GEORGE: What is Holland?
JERRY: What do you mean, ‘what is it?’ It’s a country right next to Belgium.
GEORGE: No, that’s the Netherlands.
JERRY: Holland *is* the Netherlands.
GEORGE: Then who are the Dutch?
Posted on July 3rd, 2005 by
March 19, 2003:
American and British forces began the Third Persian Gulf War, a conflict which may become popularly known as “Gulf War 2” or the “Second Iraq War,” or some other designation.
July 1, 2005, Kenneth Pollack, who supported the war, writes:
…it is time for the Bush administration to bite the bullet, whether by deploying additional standing forces, calling up reserves, or spurring recruitment by increasing pay and benefits (and maybe even providing a rationale that the American people would buy).
Maybe!?! Sir, it is you who is very one-sided and biased in your questioning! *
Added: Pollack link via busy, busy, busy.
Posted on July 3rd, 2005 by Gavin M.
At 3AM, what a body has a mind to do, sometimes, is to listen to a bunch of records, CDs, and MP3s.
Not to be one of those guys who goes on about things, but the Ear Pod pulled up a Jerry’s Kids song again, and I’m a sentimental character, you know, and realized that despite having been a rock-critic stooge of the magazinos, and all that, it’s somehow hard to…
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Posted on July 1st, 2005 by Brad
So The Editors have recruited Hilzoy from Obsidian Wings to post at their site. Very interesting.
Here is Obsidian Wings’ official logo:
Why… it’s a kitten… holding a sniper rifle!
Very, very clever, Mr. Editors and Ms. Hilzoy, but your sneak attack won’t go unpunished. While I lack Hilzoy’s PhD in philosophy, I’ve got a couple things going for me:
1.) I know the history of psychiatry.
2.) I’ve got an army of deformed mutant death cats.
Attack, yon kitties, attack!!!
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Posted on July 1st, 2005 by Brad
Well, I’m sure you’re all as horrified by Sandra Day O’Connor’s retirement as I am, since now Bush will get to appoint at least two far-right loony-toons to the highest court in the land. Bloggers everywhere are offering their thoughtful, sophisticated opinions over whom Bush will nominate.
I’d do the same, except I’m neither thoughtful nor sophisticated, so I’ll settle for taking some cheap shots at wingnuts. So sit back and enjoy while I predict Bush’s most likely Supreme Court nominees!!!
1.) Justice Ben Shapiro
Pros: Ben’s self-heralded virginity ensures his confirmation hearing won’t be sullied by embarrassing tales involving public hair and Coke cans.
Cons: No real experience in the courtroom or the bedroom; support for court-mandated bans on porno and prostitution won’t go over well with Bush’s corporate donors.
Notable quote: “I’m 21 years old, a columnist, an author, a graduate of UCLA, a Harvard law student — and a virgin. And I’m proud of it… It’s no wonder that because of my outspoken advocacy of traditional morality in general and of virginity in particular, I’ve become a favorite target of Internet leftists, who often refer to me as ‘The Virgin Ben.'”
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