Sadly, No!

Bush this morning:

My job is to make decisions.

I wonder if that’s going on his r&eacutesum&eacute after he leaves office in 2009 (or earlier, Allah have mercy):

George “G-Dubs” Bush
The Ranch
Crawford, Texas, 76639

Experience:

2009-Present: Ex-President.

Duties and Responsibilities:

-I clear lots of brush
-I sit on Trent Lott’s newly-rebuilt porch drinking Scotch Steel Reserve King Cobra milk.
-I sit on my porch with Scotty M. talking about the good old days
-I’m still trying to finish that danged Goat book

2001-2009: President of the United States of America.

Duties and Responsibilities:

-My job was to make decisions. It was hard work.
-I cleared some brush down at the ranch.
-I gave future generations the gift of debt, roughly $3 trillion worth. Also, I made sure that my daughters would never pay taxes on the ranch. Boo-ya!
-September 11, 2001.
–Killed Captured Mortally wounded Said bad things about evildoer Osama bin Laden.

Readers, say hello to Brian Maloney:

READERS: “Hi, Brian!”
PINKO PUNKO: “EAT IT, COBAG!!1!”

Play nice, Pinko Punko. Brian is the Boston affiliate of Michelle Malkin’s new Hot Air podcast website, which TBogg aptly describes as “Pajamaline Media for people with anger management issues.”

Anyway, let’s read some of Brian’s bio:

Longtime radio host Brian Maloney, seen on FOX News, CNN, in Time Magazine and elsewhere, takes a chainsaw to entertainment industry spin. Recent O’Reilly Factor guest, site featured on FOX, CNN and MSNBC.

Wow! With all those MSM credentials, Brian must be a talented writer who can concisely and clearly express his ideas, right?

Erm, sadly, no. Just try making sense of this opening graf:

With the world’s recent focus on Chinese freedom of speech suppression, in more subtle and rarely-publicized ways, it also afflicts supposedly “free” countries.

Yep, it’s straight out of the J. Grant Swank School of Sentence Construction. Or as Brian might say, “Straight out it is of the School of Swank Sentences Global.”

I’m busy writing a 20-page research paper for an economics class about the history of vulcanized rubber. It’s about as enjoyable as being sodomized by Satan, but not nearly as interesting. Pray for Bradrocket.

“It’s an ugly secret what we do to it, Brad.”

Bradrocket adds: I think you’ve been reading too much Dafyyd ab Hugh fan fiction, Gavin.

Also, if I haven’t plugged the Fire Joe Morgan blog yet, I’m plugging it right now. They’re sorta like the Sadly, No!/World O’Crap for idiotic sports punditry. Watching them tear apart an episode of Baseball Tonight with Harold Reynolds and John Kruk is a beautiful thing indeed.

Oh, to be Time Magazine’s Blog of the Year:

It Might Not Be Smoking, But It’s Getting Awfully Warm

The invaluable Joseph Shahda–jveritas at Free Republic, whose translations of Project Harmony documents we have linked to on several occasions–has translated several documents relating to apparent efforts by Iraq to restart its nuclear weapons program in 2001 and 2002. I say “apparent,” because I don’t know what a “simulation reactor” is[.]

I say “wanker,” because he doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about. btw, is that a simulation reactor in your pants?

Evil is important but expensive, and the jar is really running a bit low at the moment. I’m trying to do two things: Upgrade graphix tools, and avoid ruin while waiting for paychecks to arrive.

So… Have you ever dreamt of Jonah Goldberg trying to eat a huge dildo cake, but being repelled by the Powerline guys wearing clown suits?

Yes, yes I have too.

Whether you give a quarter or a buck or five bucks or whatever, the top five donors to the United Evil Fund will have anything they want Photoshopped into being, via the best and most sweet of quality image-creation techniques — like the good ones here, not just the quick, rush-jobby ones. (This is worth a bunch on the market, believe me: People pay hundreds of dollars for Photoshop images — except not to me because I’m too much of a bohemian to charge for it.)

A deluxe banner for your blog, a logo, a framable poster of Jeff Goldstein eaten by wombats…you name it.

But it’s not about the prizes, it’s about the evil, the evil!

PS: Does that button work? I’ve never done this before.

Atrios mocks Andrew Sullivan for writing the following:

But the years since, and the atrocities still committed by the Jihadists, have not diminished my or, I suspect, many other people’s desire to fight our enemy with vigor and precision. My spine hasn’t softened against al Qaeda. If anything, I want to defeat what they represent more now than ever.

I’m not a knee-jerk Andrew Sullivan defender by any means, but I don’t see what’s particularly wrong with this sentiment.

Al Qaeda are a bunch of murderous fundamentalist scumbags who, contrary to the opinions of the genocidal goobers at LittleWhiteGoofballs, are largely shunned in the Muslim world. The Boston Globe had a good editorial about this today. Here’s the relevant exceprt:
Read the rest of this entry »

Doesn’t it figure? The heir of Nixon, via his FBI, is already trying to rob the grave of one of Nixon’s greatest nemeses:

WASHINGTON – Not long after columnist Jack Anderson’s funeral,
FBI agents called his widow to say they wanted to search his papers. They were looking for confidential government information he might have acquired in a half-century of investigative reporting.

[…]

Anderson died in December at age 83 after a career in which he broke several big scandals and earned a place on President Nixon’s “enemies list.” Authorities on several occasions tried to find the source of leaked information that became a staple of his syndicated column.

Given his history, Anderson’s family might already have been skeptical when the FBI came calling.

The timing only deepened suspicion.

Well, no shit.

Think this is just about ancient history? Bzzzt! This is about something very current: specifically, Dear Leader’s robust hatred of leaks that he or his party do not approve of. Like a Dick, Bush feels that when the President does it, it’s legal. Now this philosophy doesn’t just apply to, say, domestic surveillance. That would be banal. No, it’s a general philosophy, adopted as a lifestyle and mode of governance. So Bush wants to plug leaks that might spill dirty secrets new or old. He and his zombies also want to renew in a bigger and better way Nixon’s old crusade against the press.
Read the rest of this entry »

[…]

GOP in action, takin’ it to the streets. So we should anticipate possible criminal indictments of oil company executives, then?

“Dammit, what the #@%& is going on up there!?”

Let’s hold our breath. Mmpf!

Update: “Sen. Elizabeth Dole, chairwoman of the Republican Senate campaign committee, issued a statement that said, ‘Democrats have decided to play partisan politics with gas prices in a flailing attempt to distract from the growing economy.'”

Oooh, dose damn dirty Dhimmicrats! This fuel flap is all a left-liberal partisan ploy to bash Bush.

Ah. Crooks & Liars is reporting that yet another cowardly Clinton-appointed general has decided to give aid and comfort to Abu Masab bin Saddam and his band of Muslamonazi terrorizers:

On Shepard Smith’s Studio B, an 8th general has called for Rumsfeld’s resignation. Ret. Marine General Paul Van Ripper was interviewed by FOX News reporter Bret Baier… Van Riper claims that he constantly talks with many active duty and retired senior officers who share his view that there needs to be new civilian leadership in the Pentagon. He says that Rumsfeld has not fought the war in Iraq competantly and has run the Pentagon with intimidation.

Of course, I’m certain that lefty bloggers will have a field day with this, never acknolwedging that any ex-generals who criticize the Bush administration only want to sell books or gain favor with Hillary Clinton when she and her fellow fifth columnists steal the 2008 presidential election and rob George W. Bush of a much-deserved third term. That The Left places such value on the words of one or two or eight washed-up has-been Clinton-appointed generals shows once again how deeply unserious they are about defending America.

Left: Ex-CENTCOM Commander Anthony Zinni. He is deeply unserious.
Right: Starship Commander Dafyydd ab Hugh. He is a professional nerd, a faux-Welshman and the greatest military mind of our time.

Gavin adds: Anthony Zinni knows nothing of the Force.

Thanks to tigrismus for sending us this picture of Dafyydd ab Hugh, the wingnut blogger/Star Trek fan fiction author who recently got props from Powerline for dismissing the anti-Rumsfeld generals as Clintonista partisan hacks:

Gavin, if you’d like to Photoshop a jumbo box of Ho-Ho’s in one of his hands, feel free. But otherwise, I think he’s perfect.

Gavin adds: Where would I put it?