Sadly, No!

The week’s over and The Rant The New Media Journal.us [Wingnuts ‘R ‘Us] has some Amazing Wingnut Facts (AWF®, AWF is a registered trademark of Sadly, No! Enterprises,) delivered to us through the toaster Lee Ellis:

“Bush polls have fallen to a new low,” shout the newspaper headlines or the news anchors on television. “President Bush and Congress have reached their lowest numbers yet,” they continue, trying to speculate whether this is caused by the high gasoline prices, the current economy, or the war in Iraq.

Shout the news anchors? Is Garrett Morris doing the evening news again?

This is strange since there is good news, mostly hidden by the media, about all three.

Hidden where, Lee?

Recently, the U.S. Energy Department announced the results of a land survey: “We have more oil inside our borders, than all the other proven reserves on earth. Here are the official estimates: In Colorado and Utah, we have 8 times as much oil as in Saudi Arabia, 18 times as much oil as in Iraq, 21 times as much oil as in Kuwait, 22 times as much oil as in Iran, 500 times as much oil as in Yemen!”

Wow! The “U.S. Energy Department” (probably the little mischievous brother of the U.S. Department of Energy) releases official reports with exclamation points! I bet they even have wingnuts in party hats! Google powers, activate!
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The Editors makes an excellent point:

Modern conservatism, and the Republican party it serves, exists by scaring white people. When the rubber hits the road, the people who run the show just want to get paid (which is why the Bush administration needs to be on both sides of [the immigration] issue), but what gets them into the position to get paid is scaring white people. What specifically they are scared about, and the degree and direction of any post hoc rationalizing about the scary thing is left to the descretion of the individual white paranoid.

While I’m reluctant to paint all conservatives with this brush, it’s certainly true that scaring white people has become the staple component of the bizarre right-wing populism that started with Nixon’s Southern Strategy, came to fame with AM talk radio in the ’90s and that reached its peak with Bill O’Reilly and FOX News right after 9/11. Just look at Michelle Malkin’s front page, and you’ll find a cornucopia of supposed mortal perils for the white race. Wherever there are Mexicans waving flags, scary Islamists holding crazy signs, deranged black studies professors advocating genocide, or 7-year-old girls reciting black nationalist poetry, Michelle is there to tell you all about them and let you know that THEY ARE OUT TO GET YOU.
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Here’s a story of importance, via Matthew Yglesias, who doesn’t seem to appreciate the gravity of what he’s discovered. Francis Fukuyama, the apostate neoconservative, says that in the 1990s, neocons tried to manufacture an enemy, because they felt that the Republican Party “didn’t do as well” when there wasn’t a ruthless, monolithic pinkomuslimcommienihilist threat to America.

People, this, coming from Fukuyama (who would know), is big. It’s as big as Ike’s warning about the military-industrial complex; bigger than Bill Kristol’s admitting that “The Liberal Media” is a useful wingnut delusion. It’s big because it provides the final and conclusive missing evidence for something that the Left has known and argued for years but could never prove: That wingnuts contrive monolithic foreign enemies, either by exaggeration or by invention from whole cloth. The Left just never knew whether such a position came from a conscious decision, or if it was instead organic and structural (i.e., simply stupidity). Now, at least for the example of the 1990s, we have a formidable testimony, from the inside so to speak, that it was conscious and deliberate.
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Over at HotAir (yes, we know,) Michelle Malkin slams “French critics”* [see below] who complained that United 93 is racist because of its depiction of the hijackers praying in the morning of September 11. The background picture that accompanies this statement is:

In case you can’t see the text, we’re happy to provide a link. What’s this? A review by a guy named Cole Smithey? Written in English? By a guy born and raised in Virginia who lives in New York city? The lengths to which “French critics” go to disguise themselves is simply incroyable!

As for actual French* [see below] critics making that complaint, Google News.fr reports:

Aucun document ne correspond aux termes de recherche spécifiés (“united 93” raciste).

Malheureusement, Non!

* A reader notes she slams fringe, and not French, critics. So while the comment is accurate, it’s targeted at a totally meaningless and unrepresentative review written by a guy basically no one has heard of. On top of which, one guy = critic, not critics. Some improvement.

(Because nobody’s posted anything yet today)

[SebShrugs adds: Sorry, been busy looking at that picture of Liddy in a speedo.]

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One of Michelle Malkin’s readers writes an angry letter about Bush’s capitulation to the Mexican menace (my emphasis):

What part of “preserve, protect, and defend” doesn’t my President understand?

As a former military officer, President Bush knows that when given a task, an officer doesn’t get away with telling his commander why it can’t be done. His job is to do as he is ordered, or face the consequences. As President, his job is to enforce the law. He’s not allowed to whine about why it can’t be done.

So Bush has gone AWOL on his presidential duties. Given his past behavior, is anyone really surprised?

Don’t tell Annie Angel, but she’s got some competition in the faux-kooky-Christian-blogger-chick buisness. Via TBogg, meet Sister Nancy:

The Left continues to tout the existence of the elusive female orgasm, despite all biological evidence to the contrary. As I have often said, if The Lord intended for us to have such things, He would have given us penises. But regardless of what the facts and common sense say, liberals continue to pursue their great white whale — and I don’t mean Michael Moore (Ha! That joke never gets old!). I’ve often wondered what motivates them to pursue this specious black-is-white reasoning. For the longest time, I assumed that it was merely another entitlement program created to pander to one of their key constituencies. Today I have my answer: Pure, unalloyed hatred of America. Evidently ladyquakes are the carrots moonbats are using to lead the women of Our Christian Nation over a moral cliff.

Annie, I think it’s time to pay Nancy a visit and show her what real orgasm-hating Christian theocrat gals are made of! Go, I say, with all due haste! Fight, fight, fight, fight!

I’m trying to say how spectacular you guys are, but I keep ending up gaping at the keyboard…

The little fundraiser that I thought would lead to about fifty bucks in dimes has totaled about 1800 dollars, which solves most of the problems in the world in an empirical sort of way, from here — and there’s no way it’s fair that only the top five contributors are getting Photoshop work. I’m gonna do ten instead, and that’s a number with a bunch of flexibility, so if you want something just let me know.

I don’t want to post anyone’s name or any amounts, so I’ll send y’all emails tonight. I’m gonna go collapse on the fainting-couch now. Good gracious, yo….

Shorter Burt Prelutsky: It also annoys me when seemingly rational people engage these bigoted pinheads in debates on — hey, wait a minute! Would you at least finish reading my column?

Shorter Eliot Peace: Cynthia McKinney is a one-woman Southern Strategy.

Shorter LaShawn Barber: We all deserve a share of the blame for our society’s ills, because we’ve permitted liberals to enact their ruinous agenda.

Shorter Walter Williams: If anything, minimum wage is too high.

Shorter Mark Joseph: In a democracy, freedom of speech should be subtle, patient and exceedingly polite. Speaking truth to power should be reserved for those who live under a dictatorship.

Shorter Brent Bozell: Why doesn’t NewsMax ever win any Pulitzers, hmmm?

Shorter Tony Blankley: I would rather bathe in a gallon of crude than shake Chuck Schumer’s filthy hand.

Shorter Michelle Malkin: I wonder how many illegal aliens are also serial killers.

Shorter Linda Chavez: We must conduct a political purge of the CIA to protect the president from a military coup.

Shorter John Stossel: I’d like to say a word or two on behalf of self interest.

Shorter Terence Jeffrey: Perhaps there is a bureaucratic solution to illegal immigration.

Shorter Jonah Goldberg: We should allow Iraqis to vote on whether our troops will remain, after consulting with Iraqi politicians and others to determine that it would likely pass. (It would have to be worded in a creative way and all that.)

Shorter Kathleen Parker: The stripper at the Duke lacrosse team party went public with her story to gain fame, fortune and favorable treatment from prosecutors for a previous criminal offense. Not the one who claims she was raped, of course, but her friend.

Shorter Mike S. Adams: I wish people would describe me as the male Ann Coulter. (What? Why are you laughing?)

Shorter Travis G: I was expecting a lot more columns about traitors in our midst.