Shorter Jo-Dough Loadberg, America’s Shittiest Website™:
The Moral Case for the Free Market
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
ABOVE: Scott Mayer, Jared Loughner (left or right? You decide)
Scott Mayer, The American Genius:
Hollywood Hypocrisy in the Hypokrisis Industry
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
ABOVE: Dan “Baby J-Dough Loadberg” Foster
I haven’t engaged in my trademark “looks-ist” disparagement for quite a while but, honestly, this from Dan Foster at America’s Shittiest Website™ is just impossible to resist:
[L]adies, if I haven’t responded to your fifteenth eHarmony message, I’m probably not going to respond at all. There are only so many days in the week.
The notion that anyone, much less a “lady” with “lady” parts, would be importuning Dan with a barrage of desperate emails pleading for the opportunity to meet up is only slightly less credible than were I to claim that I had flat out refused a booty call from Chord Overstreet.
Hey, Danno, here’s a polite suggestion. If there is a one woman in the world, and that includes K-Lo or even J-Dough Loadberg in a dress, that expresses even faint interest in connecting with you, please understand that this may be your only opportunity to couple with something other than the crusty gym sock that you have been, er, filling behind the furnace in the basement while your parents are asleep upstairs. Or to translate this into the wingnut dialect of Freemarket-ese that you might understand: “Beggars Can’t Be Choosers.” Or to put it in plain English: “Dude, look in a mirror.”
ABOVE: The Don Jim Bob Surber Reading Room
Shorter Don Jim Bob Surber, Charlztun Dailey Male:
Chevy Volt Recall?
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Shorter Gary “NOT Gay” McCaleb, The American Genius:
For the Human Rights Campaign, Diversity Is Not Enough
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Shorter Pammicakes “Tits Boom Bah!” Geller, The American Genius
Happy Halal Thanksgiving
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
ABOVE: Michael “Eyebrows” Walsh
Shorter Michael Walsh, America’s Shittiest Website™
The Shape of Things to Comes
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
ABOVE: John Mackey, CEO, Whole Foods Market
Shorter John Mackey, White Street Journal*
To Increase Jobs, Increase Economic Freedom
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
*To avoid the WSJ paywall, click here to go to a Google search page with a link to the article.
ABOVE: Bryan Fischer
Shorter Bryan Fischer, Ruhnoo Murika:
A homosexual pedophile who deserves the death penalty/a>
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Shorter Lauri B. Regan, The American Genius:
Female Intuition, Sexual Harassment, and Herman Cain
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™