Shorter Phillip (“Yes, this is his real name”) Morris, The Cleveland Plain Dealer
Rachel Maddow and the gay tax on one Cincinnati woman’s free speech
- It is terribly unfair that fags can call themselves fags but I can’t call them that without getting in trouble.
As Cleveland rots into a burnt-out shell of a former industrial city, it is not surprising that the people still left in Cleveland aren’t the smartest folks on the block. After all, if they were smart enough to find a local U-Haul agency, they would have packed up their stuff and driven somewhere, anywhere, else long ago. So, I didn’t fall over in surprise to read this column from Cleveland columnist Phillip Morris (who, I suppose, is thankful every day that his parents didn’t name him Jim Beam or Gordon Gin), a column that could only be written by someone so stupid that even his smartphone makes fun of him.
Let’s start with the awesome title: “Rachel Maddow and the gay tax on one Cincinnati woman’s free speech.” I don’t know about you, but I’m intrigued about this “gay tax.” What on earth is a “gay tax?” A tax that is only attracted to taxes of the same gender? A tax that get’s teary eyed every time it even thinks about the Judy Garland 1960 Amsterdam Concert?
No, probably what Mr. Morris means is a tax on being gay, some additional “gay” tax that Rachel Maddow has to pay just because she’s gay No, no, that can’t be it because it’s a gay tax on “one Cincinatti woman’s free speech.” Oh, I see, it’s a tax imposed by gays on straight people, seeing as how, you know, gays control everything and can pretty much demand financial tribute from any straight person they don’t like. It’s an interesting concept, but I’ve never gotten it to work in practice. I sent a letter to Mitt Romney telling him he had to pay me a gay tax of a million or so dollars and he never even had the decency to write back and say no or tell me that no gay tax has to be paid on money stashed in Swiss bank accounts.
What has Morris in a tizzy is that an anchor on a Cincinnati television station wrote on her Facebook page that “Rachel Maddow is an angry young man.” And then, rather than winning the Pulitzer prize for her trenchant reporting, she had to apologize. That’s the tax, you see, and it was imposed by the “speech sentries from the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation,” who pretty much have brought the Western world to its knees and can make everyone do exactly what GLAAD demands. In fact, if GLAAD had demanded that this anchor commit ritual seppuku on her next newscast, why, we’d still be cleaning up blood from the studio floor.
But here’s what makes it really really extra extra bad in Morris’s eyes: Rachel Maddow once admitted IN PUBLIC that she was a LESBIAN and that she looks like a man.
[S]he told the Manchester Guardian, a national British newspaper: “I’m not a TV anchor babe. I’m a big lesbian who looks like a man.”
Part of the problem that the Cleveland Plain Dealer has, obviously, is that it cannot afford an Internet connection, otherwise Morris might have discovered that the Manchester Guardian hasn’t existed since 1959, that it is now just the Guardian, and that its offices are in London, not Manchester. Oopsie. Good thing, Mr. Morris, that there is no “stupid” tax in Cleveland or you couldn’t afford to Super Size your next meal at Cleveland’s best restaurant.
Morris’s point, such as it is, is that once Maddow admitted being a lesbian who “looks like” a man, she’s pretty much fair game to be called a bull dyke fairy faggy fag fag or pretty much anything else. Also, just as Morris can’t keep his British newspapers straight, he is just a bit too dimwitted to understand the difference between saying that a gay woman “looks like a man” and “is a man.” Just because Morris looks like someone who fellates goats doesn’t mean he fellates goats.
More stupid from the guy who looks like he dresses up as an ewok when having sex:
Macke’s initial post was private or at least semi-private. She didn’t use the airwaves to offer her observation.
Her Facebook page was “semi-private?” I’m not clear what “semi-private” even means. That you had to know Macke’s name to find it? That you had to own a computer to look at it?
Now it’s time for the inevitable double down:
But even more to the point, anyone who pays attention to the “Rachel Maddow Show” knows the hostess does looks [sic!] like a man.
I think it’s time for me to stop beating this dead goat blower and let someone else fish the remaining mangoes from this fetid swamp.
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