Sadly, No!

Why are we not surprised?
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If you’re like us, Thank You America! is your favorite song. Indeed, chances are you’ve followed the advice posted here, to “Distribuite Free for not commercial purposes.”

Well, no money is being made by this outfit, so consider this little video montage our way* of saying Thank You, Wingnuts, for making mocking America so much fun (in a non profitable, not commercial sort of way.)

* If by “our way” you mean “the way of the generous Sadly, No! reader who put it together and sent it to us so we could make it avaible to y’all.

Added: Quicktime version.

Here are some choice excerpts from O’Reilly’s discussion with marketing expert Philip Nulman about the secular extremist plot to destroy Christmas (via Media Matters):

O’REILLY: With us now, Philip Nulman, author of the book Just Say Yes!: Extreme Customer Service [Career Press, 2000]. That’s what I like, extreme customer service. All right, 85 percent of Americans say they’re Christians. Christmas is a federal holiday, signed into law by [President] U.S. Grant. And we’re living in a time where some retail outlets will not say “Merry Christmas.” Insane?

NULMAN: No, no, I don’t think it’s insane. I think that it’s good business practice, actually. And many organizations are trying desperately to be inclusionary. They feel that the use of “Merry Christmas” in their packaging, their bags, their messages, their environment is just the opposite. It’s exclusionary to the 15 or 20 percent of the customer base that is not Christian.

O’REILLY: And you agree with that?

NULMAN: I do, from a marketing standpoint.

And that’s a perfectly rational explanation- department stores want to appeal to as many people as possible, so they’ll hang up banners with bland, nondenominational holiday greetings so those of us who aren’t into the whole Jesus phenomenon don’t feel left out.

(And incidentally, I think this whole fight is silly either way: I personally don’t give a shit if someone wishes me a “Merry Christmas,” or a “Happy Holidays,” or even a “Merry I’m-Gonna-Use-a-Shovel-to-Bash-in-Your-Punk-Ass-Face Day.” It just doesn’t matter.)
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Some may call this a lame spelling flame war, but with our dear Kaye everything is a gift. We’re just not sure who is doing the giving:

Did Reid also admonish Bill Clinton for thinking the same thing, when he ordered the bombing of Iraq when Hussein refused to allow the Weapon’s Inspectors into the country to investigate just what Hussein was up to strategically for several years? The double standards here are quite nauseating to say the least.

The weapon’s inspectors. Seems like that would be a good name for a cheesy porn flick:

When Amber and her friends decided to inspect Jeff’s weapon, for strategically purposes, they found out they were getting more than they had bargained for.

And after that, the medication wore off:

Frankly speaking, if it takes torture (within reason) to gather information to thwart another “senseless” attack on Americans ? then so be it! For goodness sakes! …this is not some tea party folks!

For fuck’s sake god damn it “motherfuckers!” You want some terrorists “blowing” you up while you drink “your” tea? Within reason!

[Kaye Grogan is a registered trademark of The Poor Man Institute for Freedom and Democracy and Palmer.]

Michael Gaynor must be suffering from a particularly severe leprechaun attack this week, because his latest column is actually called (I’m not making this up) “Mr. President, heed the call of Marie Jon’ and Chris Hartsock (America’s future).”

“Laddy! Tha’s th’ dumbest a’vice I ever heard! Marie’s e’en madder than Mdhatter! What should anyone listen t’ her fer?”

I agree, Mr. Demonic Leprechaun Hallucination, but sadly, it’s even worse than you think. Check out the column’s conclusion (emphasis added):

Marie Jon’s battle cry: “I’ll fight back for our president, but it’s time he kicks butt himself with all of us right behind him.”

Added incentive for you, Mr. President: After you do it, then Marie Jon’ will help you with grammar and spelling and perhaps Mr. Hartsock will have you do a cameo appearance in his film.

Hey, now all he needs is for Kaye… “Grogan” to help him with punctuation and the Swank Pastor International to help him with syntax, and Bush’ll be on his way to becoming a poet laureate.

(Mr. President, I also strongly recommend you purchase a PeoplePolitical classic thong– it’d look damn sexy for your cameo appearance in Mr. Harstock’s film!)

Well, Brownie is FINALLY off the government’s payroll. Phew.

I wonder what he’ll do next. Perhaps he’s interested in being the general manager for the Boston Red Sox.

I’ve been a far, distant compass lately, I know — letting Brad work his fingers to sticks on the daily entries (while Seb gets fat and wealthy, as ever, from our SadNo, GmbH currency manipulations and inter-embassy dealings).

It’s the music and other things, for me. I’ll talk about politics and the music.

Like most of us here, I’m human, and there are times when normal human beings might go gamely to look at Powerline or MichelleMalkin.com (or any of those places) and want to smash out the leering evil with a baseball bat. The last time I felt this way was when my sister was almost blown up in London. I’ve taken a brief vacation from the WingNet because anger is ugly, and there’s only so much of that stuff that you can wade through without needing a periodic bio-chem shower. One starts to become just as bad, in a way. And I’m a notional Quaker: Wanting to crush skulls is a prime signal for a timeout and a hard think.

And also, I think things have changed lately, and that we might not fully appreciate the tectonic switcharound that’s happened since August. The right is seeming increasingly desperate, grabbing onto casuistries about France and about the football-bomber, building wind-fragile new card-houses to explain the runup to Iraq, twisting and torting into Moebius ribbons on Cheney’s secret gulags and a dozen other emergent issues.

One starts, almost, to feel sorry for them, honestly.

…Before wanting to throw them a dozen anvils and drop Willy Pete depth charges in the water. So I’ve laid low, and my posts lately haven’t been very good in my reckon. I think I have a couple-few more days of turpitude left in me. Or maybe you haven’t noticed because Brad’s been so good lately.

But music: Amanda Panda and I squabble in public sometimes, but I went out to the garage today and found Big Boys* albums, and lived in Austin, today, while the albums were playing. Randy ‘Biscuit’ Turner, the singer, died a couple of months ago, so soon ago that he hasn’t become a ghost yet, but still just a startling absence. I entreat you, beg you, put a finger on your nose-tip and whisper of ancient codexes to you, to filesteal these songs (in order), and listen to them (in order), for pleasure and gain:

Fun Fun Fun
Fight Back
Sound on Sound

Good Texans, flaming queer on the mic, losers and punko-mohawkos on strings & riddim. They were loved, loved, loved in Austin. A good treasure to hold and keep, these songs and others.

[bisy backson]

*A person didn’t do this Wikipedia entry, but a person might have done other ones on hardcore at some point, themes from which are taken up here. I don’t know what’s happened to those other entries since, besides that people keep changing stuff in them — like rearranging the furniture and adding weird slipcovers and curtains and things — but it’s great to win bets by pulling up the Wiki and being like, Aha! See: It says so right here! (A person also, as it happens, did most of the hardcore entries in the collector-scumworthy Volume Guide. Editor Henry Weld sometimes argues with me in print, but that’s only because he’s 100% wrong, etc. [I’m hunting for a way to get out of this parenthetical gracefully. …Look, a monkey!])

For The Rant’s Barbara Stock:

The media follows the president to foreign soil to hound him about ?Plamegate,? and all the while, parts of Europe are coming unglued. The liberal media in America barely mentions it. [Emphasis added.]

What do the websites of CNN, ABC News, CBS News, NBC News, the LA Times and The Washington Post have in common?

They all feature stories on the riots going on in France right there on their start page.

Do they have anything else in common?

Almost. Only NBC News has a story about Joe Wilson or Plamegate on their start page. A story dated October 28, 2005. The others? Sadly, No! (As of 20:25 German Time.)

The moment you’ve been waiting for has finally arrived. WorldNetDaily’s Jim Rutz is about to duke it out with Pastor Joseph Grant Swank, Jr. for the title of “Wingnuttiest Preacher on the Internets.”

As you may remember, Rutz is the author of Megashift, a book about God’s plan to bestow devoted Christians with wicked cool superpowers, including the ability to raise their relatives from the dead. So Rutz’s credentials are unquestionable: he’s a grade-A loony. But are his powers formidable enough to withstand the awesome onslaught of insanity that is Pastor Swank? Probably not, but let’s see what he can bring to the table with his latest column, called “Welcome to the New World Religion”:

That new religion you’ve been dreading has arrived, and it’s hilarious. But it’s also oppressive to the point of being deadly. Quite a combination.

Both hilarious and deadly, eh? It sounds like this new religion involves Nazi clown ministers who sacrifice their altar boys and serve their blood to parishioners during communion, all the while riding unicycles and juggling custard pies. Let’s see if I’m right.
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Not only are the guys at Powerline a bunch of wankers, but they have wack taste in music too (emphasis added):

Well, at least we can all agree that it bites.

*I actually like the Doc. His music on the other hand…
**Ah yes. The same Merle Haggard who hates Bush and wants to get out of Iraq.