“The same Merle Haggard who hates Bush and wants to get out of Iraq.”

Do you guys remember where I live? Bakersfield California, home of Merle Haggard and Buck Owens. Nobody knows Merle as well as Mark Yeary, who produced this song and toured and recorded with Merle for nearly 20 years. Mark knows, as I do, that while Merle does indeed want to get out of Iraq, he, like Johnny Cash, is a man of complex views. As Kris Kristopherson put it: “A walking contradition…” Just because Merle doesn’t agree with the rationale behind one particular war, and just because Bush may not be his favorite president, doesn’t mean he is any less indignant about folks who show disrespect for this country. Everyone here in Kern county knows that the sentiments Merle Haggard expressed in The Fightin’ Side of Me still prevail.

Now, I don’t know which folks are downloading Merle Hasn’t Lost His Fightin’ Side faster, but between Power Line and “Sadly, No,” I’ve had nearly 2,000 downloads in less than 24 hours. Now that doesn’t compare to artists who release songs on major labels, but it’s not bad for a right-wing prairie boy from Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. I don’t take the heavy downloads as a feather in my cap, but only as a reason to be grateful to all of you who hate me and all of you who love me enough to download my music. And I thank Mark Yeary, who, like Rick Rubin, knows what to throw away in the studio, and what to keep. Based on the momentum I see at my website, and the press all of you are giving this song, we may eventually get a statement from Merle himself. He will finally set the record straight (no pun intended).

I think Merle still gets winger points for “Okie from Muskogee:”

We don’t smoke marijuana in Muskogee;
We don’t take our trips on LSD
We don’t burn our draft cards down on Main Street;
We like livin’ right, and bein’ free.

We don’t make a party out of lovin’;
We like holdin’ hands and pitchin’ woo;
We don’t let our hair grow long and shaggy,
Like the hippies out in San Francisco do.

And I’m proud to be an Okie from Muskogee,
A place where even squares can have a ball.
We still wave Old Glory down at the courthouse,
And white lightnin’s still the biggest thrill of all.

Leather boots are still in style for manly footwear;
Beads and Roman sandals won’t be seen.
Football’s still the roughest thing on campus,
And the kids here still respect the college dean.

We still wave Old Glory down at the courthouse,
In Muskogee, Oklahoma, USA.

Thanks, lanua Ditis, what else can be said? Once you’ve put down lyrics like that, it’s mighty hard to take them back, and I don’t believe Merle would if he could. I do have his home phone number, but if I were to speak with him, I’d be like those characters in that old Wayne’s World show when they ran into Alice Cooper and began bowing and chanting, “We’re not worthy!” When I first met Courtney Love and Don Henley, I acted like a complete fool in their midst because of my unbridled adoration for them.

Not that Merle would ever visit this site, but here goes: Merle, if, by chance you happen to stumble onto this liberal den of iniquity, does your fighting side feel like coming out to play today? Can you set the record straight once and for all?

PS: By the way, in my comment above, I meant to say “nearly 2,000 downloads in less than 12 hours.”

After reading the lyrics to Doc’s songs, I think he answered his own question: “how come there ain’t no Republican rock stars?”

I’m also pretty sure The Ramones weren’t conservative, just Johnny. So your list is even smaller.

Well, there’s (haha) Ted (snort) Nugent.

I fully endorse this product or event.

isn’t Bakersfield also home to Prussian Blue?

just because Bush may not be his favorite president, doesn’t mean he is any less indignant about folks who show disrespect for this country

Brad and Gavin are exactly as American as Merle is. And in my opinion there could be no greater disrespect shown to a country than what we have seen in the White House these last few years.

Dr. BLT’s from Saskatchewan? At least I know why he left. Saskatchewan is the most socialist province in Canada. (That’s not a right-wing slur, that’s a fact; people from Saskatchewan are big on government subsidization–the idea of Canadian public health care came from Sask.) It must have chafed his righty nature.

Dr. BLT:

Did you meet Courtney Love and Don Henley at the same time? Please say yes.

And one need not look much further than Tobey Keith to see just how horrendous winger musical taste is. Bleh. We need to send 2 million CCs of Johnny Cash to the red states, stat!

You know, if the Doc is gonna trash people in his little ditties, he ought to learn how to spell their names. Check out the lyrics on his site for the Merle Haggard business. We have Eddie “Vedor” for Eddie Vedder and, my favorite, Ms. “Serranden” for Susan Sarandon.

Also in the Doc’s urge to get a rhyme were none could be found, he gives Eddie Vedder an eating disorder:

“if Eddie Vedor gets the urge
to diss this country and to purge
Merle?s gonna get back on the stage”

Well, I hope for Merle’s sake they clean up the barf first.

I also like how the Doc garbles his syntax to reach for another unobtainable rhyme:

“Merle hasn?t lost his fightin? side
words from Pearl Jam he won?t abide.”

That by Yoda could not have better been said. I like the Doc so I certainly hope he hasn’t quit his day job.

Merle’s actually a pretty independent guy. And he was right about a lotta the hippies being phonies who didn’t really give a shit about the war and just didn’t want to get shot themselves. But no, I don’t think he’s a winger.

We like holdin’ hands and pitchin’ woo;

…wait, what the hell is “pitchin’ woo”? Is it legal? Should it be?

And he was right about a lotta the hippies being phonies who didn’t really give a shit about the war and just didn’t want to get shot themselves.

Did he say this? Because all I really know of him is this song (which is on in the background in tha bad guys’ tent in Platoon) and Mama Tried.

I always appreciated Okie from Muskogee ironically…

I will always be true, spend my days pitching woo, to you…

Little GOP
You’re really quite the clown
All your leaders been indicted
And they’re going down
Gonna watch you crap your pants, now
Make your britches brow-ow-own
We’re gonna fuck you up
Piss you off
Throw you out
G-O-P

Hehe – hehehehehehe
Hehe – hehehehehehe
Hehe – Goodbye to GOP

Alice Cooper’s a Bushfan.

Which just goes to show what happens when you stop drinking.

I always appreciated Okie from Muskogee ironically…

The only way it’s possible to appreciate that particular piece of work is ironically.

Yes, Vestal Vespa, I met Don Henley and Courtney Love at approximately the same time. They were at a hearing in Sacramento, defending the rights of musicians stuck in long-term record contracts in which the record companies were taking them for granted. Leanne Rimes was there too, and a few other big stars, but I only met Don and Courtney. Don was a little aloof, but Courtney was extremely pleasant, friendly and charming. Of course she kind of began to lose her grip on reality shortly after that event. Do you see what effect us wingnuts have on people?

Dr. Ham & Cheese on Rye, if I may take the liberty of offering a suggestion, it is this: The key to not being stuck preaching to the choir is not to write lyrics that don’t go too far in alienating the side you are seeking to influence. That’s what I told a therapy group made up of drug-addicted teens I was leading when I suggested they write a song together as a therapeutic expression of their innermost feelings and they started composing a song called F*&^ Authority.

Merle Haggard, I hate to pull a Doubting Thomas on you, but if you are really Merle Haggard, could you please tell us which songs you co-wrote with Mark Yeary and which songs of yours he produced. Also, when you performed at the White House for Richard Nixon, can you tell us what Mark Yeary did at the White House that caused such a big stir? If you really are Merle Haggard, thanks for the endorsement. I’m unworthy!

Correction above: “..not to write lyrics that go too far…”

The key to not being stuck preaching to the choir is not to write lyrics that don’t go too far in alienating the side you are seeking to influence.

There are a few too many negatives in this sentence, but I just can’t figure out which ones to remove to make your point, Doc.

Dan, see the entry just above yours. I beat you to the punch.

Hey Doc, leave me out of this.

Doubting Thomas, how could I leave you out? You’ve had such an influence on my life that my good buddy, Daniel Sisco and I actually wrote a song about you. It’s based on a hypothetical conversation between you and Jesus in which Jesus doubt’s your ability to believe in Him:
Doubting Doubting Thomas:
words and music by Dr. BLT and Daniel Sisco (performed by Daniel Sisco)
http://www.drblt.com/music/DoubtThomas.mp3

Dr. BLT sez: “Jesus doubt’s [sic] your ability to believe in Him”

Since Christers think that Jesus magically created the world and all of us, doesn’t that mean that Jesus made Thomas so that Doubting Thomas would Doubt? This would mean, of course, that DT (love the initials!) is simply doing what Jesus/God created him to do.

Jesus doubts me? That’s rich. Dude was always trying to steal my thunder.

But in reality, Jesus knew I was a skeptic from the day I signed up, and he wanted it that way. Said he’d take away my apostle t-shirt and membership card if I fell into that blind-faith thing. Ah, good times.

Hey, Tom, you’re not alone. I’ve always referred to myself as a “stumbling follower” and a “doubting believer.” So far that hasn’t stopped me from getting the t-shirt. He even threw in a set of keys to the big city. All we need is a mustard seed worth of faith to move mountains. And, (can you believe it?) the t-shirt and the keys were absolutely free, there was nothing I could have done to earn them or deserve them.

I didn’t know they were selling knock-off t-shirts. Mine is official apostle gear, made of a cotton/polyester blend with interwoven elastane (for the stretchiness), just whisks perspiration away. Jesus had to order them special, and they have our names embroidered and everything. Even has an authenticator hologram. Yours doesn’t have that.

It’s crazy what they sell to the kids these days. Although if you got yours for free, some guy probably made it on the quick in the back of his van.

No, I can’t say I’ve got all that, Thomas, and I hate to doubt you, but I kind of doubt that your t-shirt has all of those features. If what you say is true, then you must have received the deluxe edition. Nevertheless, mine is the real deal: 100% VIRGIN Mary WOOL.

The key to not being stuck preaching to the choir

Doc, if I didn’t want to preach to the choir, I’d be posting my tunes on FreeRepublic instead of here.

Dr. Ham & Cheese, it takes no courage to preach to the choir. I would challenge you to take a risk and post on FreeRepublic.

Ohhhh.. so that’s where Kinky Friedman got “Asshole from El Paso..” an years ago, Patrick Sky got “Okie From Muskokee,” which has great lyric like: “Now the way we get our kicks down in Muskokee/ is to beatr up every one who isn’t white…”

I think it’s odd I never heard the original.

Dr. Ham & Cheese, it takes no courage to preach to the choir. I would challenge you to take a risk and post on FreeRepublic.

Where he would be banned within 20 seconds.
Hell, my right-wing equivilent (occational dissent) be banned in less than an hour.

That was me (stupid poorly named “remember me”)

And, oh yes, for the record, I like Okie From Muskogee. It’s a celebration of small midwestern town life. As a guy from a small midwestern town which I both love and hate with a passion, I can appriciate the sentiment, and such a lifestyle is quite nice (so long as you aren’t so militantly against everything they value that you feel the need to get in their faces constantly- you know, common nicities like that).
It’s certainly not for everyone, but I’d sooner be back in Lamoni, Iowa than live in a hippie commune or even most suburban enviroments. I only like cities and small towns for some reason.

Doc, what songs have you actually had nationally aired? Not a flame, just curious.

i smoked my first joint in oklahoma.

Speaking of Oklahoma, opitimus, to answer your question, that was the name of my first song to be aired nationally, (actually internationally, if I’m not mistaken). That one was actually not aired on radio (to my knowledge). It aired on cable television news stations throughout the US, Canada, and Europe. If was a song I wrote and recorded to help raise money for victims of the Oklahoma bombing. Turner Entertainment did a story on the song, and came out to shoot a video my performance of the song at California State University, Los Angeles, were I was teaching at the time. The live performance of the song was picked up by the Associated Press and distributed internationally to cable news stations. I heard reports from various communities from folks who saw the performance in part, or the whole thing, but I don’t know exactly how many stations ran it.

The other two songs that were aired nationally were Veto This!, a song aired on Hugh Hewitt’s nationally syndicated broadcast, and FarenHYPE 9/11, a song Rusty Humphries told me he aired on his
nationally syndicated broadcast. There were about 200 stations involved at the time. If I recall correctly, I believe his producer at the time, told me that Rusty also aired either What Part of Right Wing Don’t You Understand? or Right-wingers Need Love Too. Right-wingers Need Love Too was aired nationally by (believe it or not, PBS), via their internet broadcast, All Songs Considered.

By the way, thanks to all of you who love or hate the song Merle Hasn’t Lost His Fightin’ Side enough to be part of the
2, 875 downloads on the song yesterday. Of course a large percentage of these downloads probably came straight from Power Line, so I also thanked the gentleman who was kind enough to put up the link over there.

Correction PBS, above, should read:
NPR.

Doubting Thomas, you sinful bastard, don’t you know it’s a sin to wear clothes made of mixed fibers? Leviticus, dude. Cotton/poly blend my preternaturally toned pink ass.

But feel free to own slaves and beat your kids. That stuff is cool.

ACG:
Have you seen God Hates Shrimp or God Hates Rags?

I’d seen God Hates Shrimp. God Hates Rags is new to me, but I’m going to have to dismiss them as a dangerous splinter faction with the potential to dilute the True Message with their bizarre fixation on felt.

I can dig it.