Posted on November 9th, 2005 by Brad
Mein Gropenfuhrer! I can vote!
In a stinging rebuke from voters who elected him two years ago, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger?s efforts to reshape state government were rejected during a special election that darkened his prospects for a second term.
The Republican governor and former Hollywood actor, who likes to say he can sell anything, on Tuesday saw all four of his signature ballot proposals rejected.
Note to California Democrats: you’ve got him on the ropes. All you have to do is not nominate Warren Beatty and you’ll knock him out.
Posted on November 8th, 2005 by Brad
Hey kids, I’m extremely busy today and might not get around to posting until tomorrow, but I’m working on an XTREME Wingnut Preach-Off that will absolutely blow your mind. It’s gonna be a battle for the ages: Jim Rutz v.s. Pastor Swank (OK, so Swank is gonna totally kick his ass, but I have a duty to hype it up anyway). Stay tuned.
Posted on November 8th, 2005 by Gavin M.
Black Conservatives Say Black Candidates for Elected Office Should Not Be Abused on Account of Race
Group Calls on All Candidates and Parties to Shun Both Use of Racial Slurs and Those Who Employ Them
For Release: November 4, 2005
Contact: David Almasi at 202/543-4110 x11
or [email protected]
In light of the racial indignities being foisted upon Maryland Lt. Governor Michael Steele, a black Republican who recently announced his candidacy for U.S. Senate, members of the black leadership group Project 21* call on all candidates and political parties to shun both the use of such tactics and individuals who employ them.
Steele most recently was portrayed as a white minstrel in blackface on a left-wing blog, but has suffered other racial indignities such as being pelted with Oreo cookies at the historically-black Morgan State University in Baltimore and being called “Uncle Tom,” among other epithets.
“Wha? Hey! This is truly infamous!
If you liberal-blog gutter-racists don’t stop
portraying me as… Ow! Yack! Who’s throwing
those Oreo cookies!? Yaah!”
You’re right, Mr. Steele. That was completely unfair, and we’ll stop right now.
[Reopens Photoshop]
“Oooh, mamma mia, whatta pizza! Me an’ Scalito a-gonna banna Abortion!
…Ack, wait, what have you done? This is an outrage!
Sigh. You just can’t please these wingnuts.
*Onna-da so-called ‘Black leadaship group,’ ‘Project 21,’ check-a out da TBogg.
Maddone! So Rick-fuckin’-Santorum izza s’posta be-a black guy now? Betcha he gets fuckin’ white again afta da ‘lection.
Betcha dolla.
[Tabernac!]
UPDATE – I stole the pic from TBogg, and I’m now told it’s not Steele. What’s the dice on this?
Posted on November 8th, 2005 by Brad
It’s Monday night, there’s football on, and I don’t have to be up ’til around 10 tomorrow morning, so I might juuuuuust be up for doing “STEEL RESERVE: THE SEQUEL” tonight. Stick around and see, cobagz…
9:25 pm: TOUCHDOWN, DEION BRANCH!!!! I’m in the middle of my first Steel Reserve.
“Just hook it up to my veins, beeeeee-yotch!!!!!”
10:04 pm: MIKE MUTHAFUCKIN’ VRABEL!!! INTERCEPTION!!!!
10:21 pm: Dammit. I hate Duane Starks. We got some work to do in the seoncd halfd (on my third Steel Resreve!!!)
10:29 pm: Oh. My. God. Do I ever h8 that asshole Tim McGraw. I can’t believe they’re playing one of his songs during halftime at a Pats’ game. WE HATE THAT SHITE PSEUDO-COUNTRY MUSIC UP HERE, ASSHOLES!!! I like country muhself- I’m thinkin’ Hank Em-Effin’ Williams and Johnny Cash- but Tim McGraw? UTTER BOLLOCKS, NFL!!!! EAT IT!!!
10:37 pm: Second half starting. Will be back.
11:01– Genius screen. Touchdown Graham. Now the defense needs to step up.
11:47 pm: Right, that Harrison TD is the nail in the coffin. Goin’ to bed. Night all.
Posted on November 7th, 2005 by
Kathleen Parker picks up on the latest right wing outrage:
In a recent ruling, a three-judge panel of the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals (that be the Left Coast) determined that parents do not have a fundamental right to control when, where and how their children are taught about sex.
The parents had argued that their constitutional rights were violated when their children received a questionaire that included “sexual content.” And how did the 9th District Court go about deciding the case?
The question before us is simply whether the parents have a constitutional right to exclusive control over the introduction and flow of sexual information to their children. It is clear, and the parents agree, that no court has ever held that parents have a specific fundamental right ?to control the upbringing of their children by introducing them to matters of and relating to sex in accordance with their personal and religious values and beliefs.? In fact, no such specific right can be found in the deep roots of the nation?s history and tradition or implied in the concept of ordered liberty.
If that isn’t strict constitutionalism, can anyone tell us what is? Red State (yes, Red State) concedeswhat the real problem was: the 9th Circuit wasn’t nice enough:
As a legal matter, the case was most likely rightly decided based on the law. But, we should all be outraged at the lack of respect the Ninth Circuit showed to parents —
Such sensitive souls.
Posted on November 7th, 2005 by Gavin M.
Equals a new song by Pizazz!, America’s hottest* collective** of cryptosexual conceptualists (they seem to be based at Hampshire College).
And don’t miss the previous hit video, either.
Here are some comments from their page:
At 11:55 PM, Anonymous said?
YOU GUYS MAKE ME SICK, WITH YOUR HOMOSEXUAL PROPOGANDA. ABSOLUTLEY DISGUSTING
At 10:59 PM, Anonymous said?
OMG PIZZAZ! IM YOUR BIGGEST FAN! I HAVE ALL YOUR CD’s AND DVDs! YOU GUYS ARE THE GREATEST! Yeah but all lying aside, you dudes should take a long walk off a short pier and hopefully into the jaws of some shark. Human scum like you shouldnt be allowed to breathe the same air as normal humans. Fucking losers.
At 11:02 PM, Anonymous said?
Yeah I agree with the dude above me. Please do the world a favor and take a 9mm to your forehead and paint the walls red with your innards.
At 11:03 PM, Anonymous said?
Hi I know morbid in real life and I can tell you right now (Before you get happy) that he’s being utterly sarcastic.
At 11:49 PM, Anonymous said?
I LOVE THAT VIDEO! PIZZAZ YES! … umm 2 words. GAY and JEWISH.
At 11:51 PM, Anonymous said?
Is this a joke? It has to be a joke. I watched the video and almost vomited. You people are the scourge of this planet. You should be burned alive and thrown into a pit of live scorpians.
At 11:56 PM, Anonymous said?
I like that xbox in your video. If i ever saw you in real life id smash it into your crippled face. I’d also stomp a mudhole in your ass and then that’ll show you some real pizzaz you fuckin’ heeb.
At 12:12 AM, Anonymous said?
Seriously, why dont you guys give up? You’ll never make it anywhere in life and everyone will hate you and if you live anywhere BUT some bumfuck section of crappy America then you’ll probably get shot. Oh and as a side note: I hope your dicks fall off and you then trip into molten lava. Have a nice day =D
If loving Pizazz is wrong, we don’t want to be right!
*They’re not actually all that hot.
** It might just be one guy.
Posted on November 6th, 2005 by Brad
-Make sure to watch the debut of The Boondocks on the Cartoon Network tonight at 11. Aaron McGruder’s the funniest cartoonist around, and I’m sure the show will be just as good.
-Is it just me, or has there been, like, a lotta good music coming out lately? I’m thinkin’ specifically of albums by Danger Doom, Sigur Ros, My Morning Jacket and Franz Ferdinand.
-Yosef, feel free to mock the fact that my Patriots will likely be obliterated tomorrow night against the Colts. The thought of Duane Starks covering any of the Colts’ wideouts scares the shit outta me.
That is all.
Posted on November 5th, 2005 by Brad
So I was trolling around The Rant this morning, when the following advertisement caught my eye:
I think this ad is trying to depict two patriotic Americans vigilantly patrolling our borders to ensure that shifty brown folk can’t get in, but it really just looks like a coupla drunken hobos hanging over a fence.
At any rate, their promise of getting “a great CD” really got me excited. I totally love shitty music, especially when it’s written and performed by right-wing crazies. So I clicked on the link to see the bad-ass tunes they were sellin’, and boy, I wasn’t disappointed.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted on November 5th, 2005 by Brad
The New York Times has the scoop:
Kenneth Y. Tomlinson, the head of the federal agency that oversees most government broadcasts to foreign countries, including the Voice of America and Radio Free Europe, is the subject of an inquiry into accusations of misuse of federal money and the use of phantom or unqualified employees, officials involved in that examination said on Friday.
Rumor* has it that pictures of that pictures of Tomlinson sodomizing Elmo will soon be released to the public.
*”Rumor” in this context means “shit I just made up.” Hey, Powerline and Malkin do it all the time. Also, I think I’m gonna pitch my “Bugger-Me-Elmo” idea to some toy companies. I think it’d be a hot seller at Christmas.
Posted on November 4th, 2005 by Brad
Joseph Farah proudly pulls down his pants and cuts a big, juicy fart right in reality’s face:
WMDs have been found in Iraq
See list of major discoveries since U.S. invasion
While members of the U.S. Senate are suggesting once again that no weapons of mass destruction have been found in Iraq, Joseph Farah’s G2 Bulletin reviews the major discoveries, including more than 1.7 tons of enriched uranium.
Why do major politicians from both sides of the aisle continue to ignore the solid confirmation about Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction policy under Saddam Hussein?
Probably because they only exist in your LSD-addled brain, Joe.
Check out the latest report in Joseph Farah’s G2 Bulletin, the premium, online, intelligence newsletter published by the founder of WND, now available for as little as $9.95 per month and cancelable at any time.
Sorry, I draw the line at paying for wingnuttery, especially when other folks are giving it away for free.