Sadly, No!

I don’t want to hear any bitching from Yosef that I’m writing about baseball in the middle of January.

With that outta the way, all I gotta say is, “Woo-effin’-hoo!”

Sadly, No.

Even the Weekly Standard can’t keep up the steam on this astounding new story past the first few blind-sourced, breathless paragraphs. Watch as the topic…magically…changes!

Oh, and who’s Stephen Hayes? If only there were a way to tell!

It doesn’t take much to make Michelle Malkin freak out, does it? Seriously, she seems like the type of person who sits up all night on the porch swatting at invisible elves*:

Via the always eagle-eyed Little Green Footballs, check out the caption on the Associated Press photo of Osama bin Laden running today at Yahoo.com:

Got that? Osama isn’t a mass-murdering terrorist mastermind. He’s just a poor, exiled dissident who disagrees with civilization.

Holy cow! How dare those rat bastards at the Associated Press refer to bin Laden as a “Saudi dissident,” when in real life he’s a Saudi dissident!
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Oh my God. This Cliff Kincaid article about the dangers of oral sex is the funniest thing I’ve seen since the time I overdubbed an episode of Saved by the Bell with the audio track from New Jack City (and let me tell ya, watching Mr. Belding call Screech a “little punk blasphemous dope fiend bitch” stands as one of the highlights of my admittedly uneventful life).

The scary thing is that this article has been posted for more than a month, and I’d never even seen it until today. I must be losing it in my young age.

At any rate, let’s roll the tape:

Rehabilitating Clinton

By Cliff Kincaid | December 13, 2005

The former president who committed adultery with a White House intern and lied about it under oath is being rehabilitated by CBS News into a spokesman for good eating.

And honestly, I can’t think of anyone more appropriate for the job, if you know what I mean (and I think you do).
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Item: The loathesome new blog at NRO by Republican slime merchants George and Kellyann Conway.

This is very dangerous because, as we’ve said several times, high amplitudes of fucktard radiation (as discovered by Professor Akamori after the war) threaten to wake Glennzilla from his fitful sleep on the ocean floor. We strongly recommend that NRO put an end to these experiments before it… and… Wait, did you hear something?


Aaaah! Too late!

The comments appear to be broken. While sad, we expect they will be fixed one day. Until then, we get to flame you. Hooray!

Update: ok, so pretty much everyone except us can post comments. Wild, wild stuff.

Update 2: Looks all good now.

Which eliminationist wingnut blog will be the first to give this story an “OMGLMFAO!1!!!!”

I’d say it’s between LittleGreenFootballs, NiceDoggie and AtlasWanks.

Apparently bored of reviewing movies she hasn’t seen, Debbie Schlussel explains:

Ford Must Take A Stand on Gay Advertising

Yes. Ha ha, that’s a good one. But that’s also the whole reason why most modern cars are equipped with these:

Lambda sensor

People think they’re to meter oxygen in the exhaust, but they’re not — they detect molecules of Gay coming from the passenger cabin, and transmit a radio signal back to Corporate HQ, cancelling the lease program. Otherwise you’d have this sort of thing going on all across America:

A typical gay man attempting to shop at a suburban Wal-Mart.

America is not ready for a gay automotive onslaught. As liberals, we hope that someday homosexuals will prove themselves responsible enough to own cars, but until that day, we must side with Debbie Schlussel:

Because after all, isn’t ‘having it both ways’ the gateway to the homosexual lifestyle? We’re frankly tired of homosexuals trying to cram their beliefs down our throats. They could at least give us a courtesy tap once in awhile.

[Seb adds: Navratilova’s Subaru ads were introduced in 2001. What was the at-the-time best year in Subaru history? 2001:

Subaru of America, Inc. (SOA), a pioneer of crossover all-wheel drive vehicles designed for the active lifestyle, announced today its best total sales result on record, posting a year-end total of 185,944 units. […] The final 2001 tally represents an 8% increase from 2000 totals for the comparable period.

2002 showed a 3% decrease, but was nevertheless Subaru’s third best year ever. 2003? Best ever. 2005? Third consecutive year of growth. Which leaves the 2002 recession year as the only non-growth year in the last 5 years. Damn you, lesbians, damn you!]

[Gavin adds: See Car Talk for the Ultimate Gay and Lesbian Cars.]

Dr. DeLong points us to this summary of a new book by Gary Becker, Michael Grossman and Kevin Murphy. Their thesis is that because demand for illegal drugs is highly inelastic, their use cannot be effectively curtailed through standard law enforcement measures:

The authors demonstrate how the elasticity of demand is crucial to understanding the effects of punishment on suppliers. Enforcement raises costs for suppliers, who must respond to the risk of imprisonment and other punishments. This cost is passed on to the consumer, which induces lower consumption when demand is relatively elastic. However, in the case of illegal goods like drugs–where demand seems inelastic–higher prices lead not to less use, but to an increase in total spending.

In the case of drugs, then, the authors argue that excise taxes and persuasive techniques –such as advertising–are far more effective uses of enforcement expenditures.

“This analysis…helps us understand why the War on Drugs has been so difficult to win…why efforts to reduce the supply of drugs leads to violence and greater power to street gangs and drug cartels,” conclude the authors. “The answer lies in the basic theory of enforcement developed in this paper.”

To illustrate the principles outlined in Becker, Grossman and Murphy’s book, let’s use a concrete example from real life- namely, Kaye Grogan’s tragic addiction to rubber cement.
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SPOILER ALERT, COBAGZ!!!! Don’t click below the fold if you haven’t seen tonight’s episode…
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