Sadly, No!

Ooooh, I hope these exit polls are accurate:

Center-left leader Romano Prodi looks set to beat Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi in Italy’s general election, winning a majority in both houses of parliament, according to exit polls released on Monday.

A poll by the Nexus research institute predicted that Prodi’s alliance would win between 50 and 54 percent of the vote in both the lower house of parliament and the upper house.

Berlusconi’s center-right bloc was shown winning 45 to 49 percent of the vote in both houses according to the poll, broadcast by state television RAI.

If this holds up, then it means yet another nation has overcome the dark powers of wingnuttery. Recent examples include Spain, most of South America and Israel, who mercifully decided to give neocon dreamboy Benny Netanyahu the finger.

The question is, what will it take to defeat wingnuttery here at home? Democrats, I think y’all are pretty lame, but you’re unfortunately the Obi-Wan to my Princess Leia- in other words, my only hope. Do you think you could start campaigning soon? Pleeeeeeease? I can’t take another two years of wingnut rule. If you can’t take back the House this year, you never will.

Here are two ideas for campaign messages:

1.) State unambiguously that the Iraq war has been a disaster, and that it should be the official policy of the United States to immediately form an exit strategy.

2.) Make single-payer health insurance a central tenet of the party platform.

Now, taking firm stances like these will probably result in Joe Lieberman bolting the party.

La-tee-da.

Is Patrick Bateman alive and well and living in Colorado? Maybe. If so, he’s changed his name to Stephen Green and he’s no longer content with petty things, like allowing his envy of friends’ superior business cards drive him to a murderous rage, or stabbing the random homeless person, oh no. He’s moved on to bigger, broader ambitions — although apparently, the envy smolders on.

A conversation such as this one must have taken place at his trust-fundicated chateau on the slopes of Mount Taxmenot:

Green: Muffin, I want to buy a good pro-genocide argument, like Glenn Reynolds’s. I’m tired of that louche bastard having all the good wingnut toys.

The Wife: But honey, you already have the stab-in-the-back argument, and it’s just as slick as Goldstein’s — “You’re either with Dear Leader or against Him.” What about the “ideological war” thing? The dissent-is-treason line that you can never say outright, but that’s the gist of it…?

Green: But that’s just it: Every wingnut has that argument. Yes, mine is especially nice, with dealership-optional fig leaves of plausible deniability, but so is Goldstein’s. I want something with more power — something top-of-the-line.

The Wife: *Sigh* Well, can you get it at Traitor Joe’s?

Green: No, no. Only at Slaughtery Barn.

The Wife: Okay, honey. I’ll pick one up tomorrow. Should I use the trust account?

Green: Of course. It’s just better that way.

Wifey must have brought it home on the 4th., because by April 5th., Green was already tinkering with it, but could not quite make it work. A lifetime of avoiding both manual labor and critical thinking had rendered him all thumby. With Kevin Drum in his sights, the argument misfired. It came out all wrong. He wanted a righteous burst of “Genocide: Fuck yeah!” but all that issued forth was this old, dribbly codicil that Paul Wolfowitz had donated to the wingnutosphere years ago, the “You Wish Saddam Were Still In Charge” argument:

If the Iraqis fail in their quest for modernity and justice, it won’t be because the Coalition didn’t stay and help. Besides, building a real nation from the oppressed scraps of three is hard work. It’s obvious that Drum wishes we hadn’t, and Iraq won’t have a chance if we Drum out of the country. If I read him right, Drum prefers the Good Old Days when Saddam was killing at least as many Iraqis as the insurgency is, and UN sanctions were killing even more. Drum would prefer that Iraq remain under Saddam’s boot, then [sic] to even allow them a chance at freedom. I’m proud to say we took a different course.

Yeah, that’s good. Intensely wingnutty, even. But not what Green was hoping for. It has to be pro-genocide, yet subtly so. It has to soar and dive like Instapundit’s. That’s the ticket. Green abandons the workshop for a late-afternoon cocktail resolving to try again later.
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From Sy Hersh’s interview with Wolf Blitzer earlier today:

HERSH: Here’s the real, critical point. The critical point, it seems to me, is that we’re not talking. This president is not talking to the Iranians. They are trying very hard to make contact, I can assure you of that, in many different forms. And he’s not talking. And there’s no public pressure on the White House to start bilateral talks. And that’s what amazes everybody. When I was in Vienna, seeing officials of the International Atomic Energy Agency, the one thing they all said is everybody knows Iran is trying to do something. They’re cheating. They’re not near. There’s plenty of time. And instead of talking about bombing, let’s talk about talking.

“Let’s talk about talking?”

Oh, Sy. Sy, Sy, Sy. That is the most… sissified thing I’ve ever heard. You sound like some lonely housewife whining to her husband after he’s just come home after fucking his secretary. “Why don’t we talk anymore? We used to talk all the time. But now you never talk to me. IS MY ASS TOO BIG????” What rubbish.

“Talking” is not how a manly nation conducts its foreign policy. Manly nations conduct their foreign policy with these:

Look at that long, firm nuclear missile. No sane Muslamic country would even dream of developing its own nuclear penis heads warheads if they knew that we’d launch fifty gajillion of those phallic bad boys right at their sorry Allah-loving asses. The idea that America should “talk softly and carry a big stick” is *so* pre-9/11. The post-9/11 worldview is “All stick, all the time, going right up your ass!”

[Reprinted with graphics tweaks and mild edits from Brainshrub.com. Originally posted in comments at TPM Cafe, Jan. 14, 2006. Also posted, then yanked from Metafilter today, for being “just some blog post. . .and about Iraq, yet.” Note to Metafilter: Iraq is the one spelled with the ‘q’ at the end.]

On the topic of an inevitable conflict with Iran
By Den Vandron

Speaking as a Canadian who is fond of judicious language, I feel that this situation deserves careful and measured thought. So let me just open with:

Is your entire f*cking country on crack??? Are all you Americans out of your cotton picking minds??? Are you completely freaking delusional? Homicidal? Psychotic? Have you lost any shred of a moral compass? WHAT IN THE NAME OF JESUS H. CHRIST ON A CRUTCH IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!!!!!

Let me offer up one small datum which may completely change the equation for you: According to the CIA (If they have any credibility left.) Iran is at least five years away from a nuclear weapon.

Five years.

Five years is time for diplomacy to accomplish a hell of a lot.

I would also point out that the Atomic Energy Commission, various other international bodies and other inspections have essentially found no sign that Iran is even working on a nuclear weapon.

The only actual evidence that Iran has anything close to nuclear weapons technology is blueprints *that the CIA gave to them!*

Have you all forgotten that the evidence on Iraq was spectacularly wrong? Have you all ignored the fact that it was fabricated? Why then are we going down the exact same road of stage managed, fabricated pseudo-evidence and wild-ass hysteria?

What is wrong with you people?

This entire crisis has been manufactured, and has been years in the making.

Stop and think back five years. What did we have five years ago? A moderate reformist Iranian government making overtures to the United States, rebuilding its relationship with Europe, liberalizing its society, and modernizing its economy.

Post 9/11 vigil in Iran. 9/11 comes along, the Iranians are overflowing with sympathy. Mass candlelit vigils are held in Tehran. Iran offers aid and cooperation.

Post-9/11 vigil in Tehran

Iran hates the Taliban, who have executed Iranian diplomats and massacred Afghan Shiites. Iran hates Saddam Hussein. Iran hates Al Qaeda which is a Sunni Fundamentalist organization, which declares Shiites infidels and subhuman.

Iran shares its intelligence with America — they even arrested Taliban members and handed them over to US custody.

So we’ve got the Iranian spring; things are finally going to sort out.

And what happens? The Bush administration rebuffs every Iranian overture and does its best to instigate a cold war. Afghanistan is invaded, and suddenly, the Iranians are looking at American troops and allies on their eastern border. Then Iraq is invaded, and American troops and allies on their western border. Then bases and treaties in Uzbekistan, and whoops, there’s more American troops and allies on the northern border. The Persian Gulf is filled with American warships and carrier fleets.

Now the Iranians are surrounded. And the tough talk is constant. Iran is part of the ‘Axis of Evil’ and Americans tell each other “Baghdad, humph, real men go to Tehran.” Essentially, America has been threatening military action against Iran for the last five years, and has surrounded the country on every side with troops, bases and allies.

American aircraft invade Iranian airspace regularly, American special forces undertake operations inside Iran and Americans regularly accuse Iranians of interference in Iraq.

Dick Cheney pontificates about Israel bombing Iran *after he has just handed over to Israel the long range bombers and bunker busting bombs* required to do the job.

Meanwhile, the United States undertakes economic warfare against Iran, interfering with its business dealings with third party countries, trying to scuttle a pipeline deal with India, and it goes on and on. The hysteria about the Iranians nuclear program is just more of the same.

Now how in God’s Bloody Name do you think the Iranians are going to respond to that. Should they concede the nuclear program, abandon their pipeline project? If so, its not going to do them any good. America will just seek more concessions. Each surrender will be met by new demands. This isn’t hard to figure out. It’s exactly what Bush did with Iraq.

Perhaps overtures, goodwill gestures, trying to act like a peaceful nation. Did all those things, doesn’t matter. The Bush administration is still on a collision course.
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Been going through sound files today, and…well okay, there’s an evil plan involved. It’s a secret of the Stanton Carlisle variety, if that’s not giving too much away yet. …And there’s also that little thing with the Sy Hersh article this weekend that’s just a trifle disturbing.

But here’s a demo track that someone did a few years ago, working as sort of the guy who played whatever instruments nobody else was playing from session to session. I think (but am not positive) that it’s just drums and the more distorted guitar on this one (there might be drop-ins on some of the bass parts)…

It seems that Congress has, for now, put immigration “reform” into a comatose state. Wingnuts will drift on to other causes, most of them deplorable. We’ll make fun of them… yadda yadda yadda. But for now we pause to note a particularly gratuitous smear on the immigration protestors that managed to slip under most everyone’s radar, one that is worth noting because when people take to the streets again to protest racial demagoguery — and they will — this smear will be repeated and gain traction.

It’s from a not unexpected source: Glenn Reynolds, who is — what’s his phrase of choice? ahh yes, “a loathsome human being.” On April 4th, Reynolds injected this bit of passive-aggressive jackassery into the wingnutosphere:

SEAN HACKBARTH reports that A.N.S.W.E.R. is behind the immigration protests.

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I haven’t done an XTREME Wingnut Preach-Off in a while, but with Easter coming up, I figured it’d be a good time to stage another match. Today’s preach-off is a battle for the ages featuring two of the world’s greatest fighters, the Reverend Mark H. Creech and our reigning champion, Pastor Joseph Grant Swank, Jr. So without further ado… Lllllllllllllllet’s get rrrrrready to RUUUUM-BLLLLLLLLLLE!!!!!!!!

Let’s begin with our challenger, the Rev. Creech. This week, the good reverend has penned another brilliant column attacking evolution. Let’s read:

Seed Magazine Writes About the ‘Clergy Letter Project’

By Rev. Mark H. Creech
March 31, 2006

Seed Magazine is a part of Seed Media Group, which describes itself as “an emerging science media and entertainment company” that creates and distributes “content that communicates science’s fast changing place in our culture to an international audience.”

In a recent article titled “Strange Bedfellows,” Seed reported on the Clergy Letter Project, which garnered the signatures of over 10,000 clergy who claim the “theory of evolution is a foundational scientific truth” that is compatible with Christianity. Because I had written a column entitled “Rebuking the Clergy Letter Project,” Seed requested an interview with me for the story.

I’m sure the folks at the Discovery Institute were thrilled to have the Rev. Creech, a man who supports jailing cohabitants, speaking on their behalf.
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First a Wall — Then Amnesty (Krauthammer’s version):

Mr. Bush should build such a grand wall that it will shame the Ming Dynasty, Israeli engineers, and Pink Floyd roadies.

First a Wall — Then Amnesty (Krauthammer’s neurotic subconscious version):

Requiring immigrants to obey the law is a necessity; requiring employers to obey the law is an atrocity.

Retardo Montalban, who formerly practiced psychiatry, is an op-ed columnist for sadlyno.com.

The dogs that are so angry they cannot move.

They cannot eat.

They cannot sleep.

They can just barely growl.

Bound so tightly with tension and anger, they approach the state of rigor mortis.

National Review, as is its wont, nearly raises wanking hagiography to an artform. Here come the spewy tributes to that wingnut saint, Tom DeLay:

John Derbyshire:

I should just like to say that I am sorry to see Tom DeLay go. He was a damn good fighting conservative, and it’s a shame. I stood up for him once in the pages of National Review, when some fool Justice of the United States Supreme Court had scoffed at him for having run an exterminating firm[…]

Meanwhile, Byron York, NRO‘s White House Correspondent who proudly displays an Exxon Valdez-sized spill of mousse on his hair-helmet, basically turns over the entirety of his column to Tom DeLay, so that the BugMan himself might spray the pheromonal mix, which wingnuts find irresistable, of aggressive self-righteousness and regnant self-pity typical of disgraced Republican leaders.

Then there’s the NRO editorial, which paints DeLay as a martyr, stepping down for the greater good — the greater good being Republican Party’s cause in the 2006 elections, which now with DeLay’s altruistic abdication from the Wingnut Congressional Throne, won’t suffer as much, they hope, from the scandals surrounding him.

Finally, there’s David Frum who ..well, just read it:

As Tom DeLay leaves Congress, the television screens and newspapers flash that haunting grinning mug shot. That is part of the record of course. But it is not all the record. And when your grandchildren and mine visit Capitol Hill decades hence, they will see Tom DeLay’s face not in pixels but in sculpture, arranged with his sometime partner, sometime rival Newt Gingrich in the arcade alongside James Madison, John Calhoun, Thaddeus Stevens, Joe Cannon, Sam Rayburn and the other bygone powers of the House of Representatives. These leaders also had their faults. They too had their failures. But the United States is a just and generous nation, and those who write its history will tell the story in full: not only the tawdry chapters, but also the magnificent.

What a mess. I pity the illegals who have to clean the cubicles at NR after everyone’s gone home.