Sadly, No!

I’ve already taken up enough space today, so I’m putting this below the fold…
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It’s really been on a roll lately.

Ann Coulter’s latest column is jam-packed with unintentional hilarity. Let’s check it out:

If only liberals were half as angry at the people who flew planes into our skyscrapers as they are with Tom DeLay, we might have two patriotic parties in this country.

Ah yes. The Democrats hate Tom DeLay more than they hate al-Qaeda.

It’s funny, because back in ’01, every single Democrat not named Barbara Lee voted to use military force against the Taliban regime in retaliation for the 9/11 terror attacks. I’m not sure if Ann understands this or not, but voting to drop bombs on someone is, if not an act of anger, a definite indicator of disapproval. So until Russ Feingold proposes launching air strikes on Tom DeLay’s ranch, it’s pretty safe to say that the left doesn’t hate DeLay as much as they hate the terrorists.
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This is a truly mind-blowing graf:

Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld said he did not know what Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice was talking about when she said last week that the United States had made thousands of “tactical errors” in handling the war in Iraq, a statement she later said was meant figuratively.

Can anyone out there explain how it’s possible to make thousands of figurative tactical errors? I know I can’t.

Above: I think this guy is Figurative Error #4,530.
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Fulsome and Chuckles of Well Rounded Nerds

When you do the same thing over and over, you notice certain patterns begin to emerge. For example, if you were to read every TownHall column published on Wednesday each week for about three months, as I have, you’d probably notice the atrocious copy editing. Especially if you were a trained copy editor, as I am. Fact-checking, obviously, is not of paramount concern — but I knew that before I started wasting two hours a week to create the most head-hittingly aggravating two minutes on the Internet. Punctuation, spelling and grammar rules are capriciously enforced, and sometimes within individual columns. Words are occasionally misspelled and, My God, the sentences! I’ve seen treehouses with more thorough craftsmanship.

One of these weeks, I’m going to start writing them down but, in the meantime, this in-house ad might be the most awesome example I’ve encountered yet:

All along, I just assumed the copy editing was done by callow, disinterested Heritage Foundation flunkies, but apparently it’s that Nigerian fellow who’s always e-mailing people to ask for financial assistance.
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Horrible yuppie Stephen Green, who first enlisted in the 101st Keyboard Brigade when the thought struck him that another terrorist attack might damage his spiffy Ikea entertainment center, checks the ideological inventory of American institutions and is appalled at what he finds.

While other 101sters go the Clausewitz-Sun Tzu route, Green is more likely found treading another path; he’s more worried about the homefront. A True Believer in Dear Leader, he is disgusted at the doubts harbored by his fellow-countrymen, and questions their ideological mettle: just whose side are they on in this great Clash of Civilizations? Why are so many of the American people, and the social institutions they compose, not serious about the War on Terra? A long sigh can be heard from his tastefully-decorated home office. Dedication, devotion and a steely cultural backbone are required to survive and win the “Long March War”. Why won’t people listen?
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I’d like to formally apologize for my cruelly sexist remark this morning. I had no idea that making fun of a crazed right-winger and calling him “D-Ho” would make so many (well OK, one) person so angry. I hope that Ann will direct the same level of outrage toward sexist pig Michael Bérubé and the arch-chauvinist Lindsay Beyerstein as she directed toward me.

Or, she could just relax. For her own sake, not ours.

Gavin adds: It didn’t work, Brad. She’s still updating her post as fast as people can leave snarky comments here.

Well, at least she didn’t see your thing on the Hispinos and Muslamics.

Oops. Now you’re in trouble.

Bradrocket adds: flea in the comments writes:

“D-Ho” doesn’t bother me, personally, but I do see Ann’s point. Especially now that some commenters are starting to make hilarious “A-ho working the trains” jokes.

I agree, guys. That’s really tasteless. Please don’t do that. (And as you know, it takes a lot to get me to say that.)

See, you thought we were kidding before, but look who Malkin just linked to.

Yep, it’s Freedom Folks.

Since we’re picking ’em, how about Dennis Madalone?

A big “Thank you” to my friend A.J. for sending me this stunning column by FrontPageMagazine’s David Yeagley. Just when you think D-Ho’s Crack Den can’t sink any deeper, they decide to strap fifty bowling balls onto each of their legs and plunge right down the Marianas Trench:

Guilty ‘Til Proven Innocent

By David Yeagley

It’s racism at Duke, all right. Racism against white students. Members of the Duke University Lacrosse team may have abused a black party girl, but, without any proof or trial, the Duke Lacrosse team was punished by the university, suspended from further games.

Oh. My. God.

David, let’s think about this for a second. First, the Duke lacrosse team hired a bunch of exotic dancers to perform at one of their parties. I admittedly have no idea whether this violates Duke’s rules of conduct for athletic teams, but I’d imagine that it’s something of a no-no. Second, one of the dancers at this party alleges she was beaten and raped by three members of the lacrosse team. Third, the police have found her allegations credible and have opened up a broad investigation into the matter. Durham District Attorney Mike Nifong, whose office is handling the case, told an A.P. reporter that he’s “pretty confident that a rape occurred.”

To sum up: the lacrosse team hires exotic dancers for a party. Three team members allegedly rape one of the dancers. The cops find her allegations credible enough to open an investigation, and the whole case becomes a national incident. Now imagine you’re Duke’s administration. Would you honestly allow your lacrosse team to continue playing when three of its members are under investigation for rape? Really, David. Fucking think about it.
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