Maybe They Can Borrow Some Of Ben Shapiro’s Kleenex
National Review, as is its wont, nearly raises wanking hagiography to an artform. Here come the spewy tributes to that wingnut saint, Tom DeLay:
I should just like to say that I am sorry to see Tom DeLay go. He was a damn good fighting conservative, and it’s a shame. I stood up for him once in the pages of National Review, when some fool Justice of the United States Supreme Court had scoffed at him for having run an exterminating firm[…]
Meanwhile, Byron York, NRO‘s White House Correspondent who proudly displays an Exxon Valdez-sized spill of mousse on his hair-helmet, basically turns over the entirety of his column to Tom DeLay, so that the BugMan himself might spray the pheromonal mix, which wingnuts find irresistable, of aggressive self-righteousness and regnant self-pity typical of disgraced Republican leaders.
Then there’s the NRO editorial, which paints DeLay as a martyr, stepping down for the greater good — the greater good being Republican Party’s cause in the 2006 elections, which now with DeLay’s altruistic abdication from the Wingnut Congressional Throne, won’t suffer as much, they hope, from the scandals surrounding him.
Finally, there’s David Frum who ..well, just read it:
As Tom DeLay leaves Congress, the television screens and newspapers flash that haunting grinning mug shot. That is part of the record of course. But it is not all the record. And when your grandchildren and mine visit Capitol Hill decades hence, they will see Tom DeLay’s face not in pixels but in sculpture, arranged with his sometime partner, sometime rival Newt Gingrich in the arcade alongside James Madison, John Calhoun, Thaddeus Stevens, Joe Cannon, Sam Rayburn and the other bygone powers of the House of Representatives. These leaders also had their faults. They too had their failures. But the United States is a just and generous nation, and those who write its history will tell the story in full: not only the tawdry chapters, but also the magnificent.
What a mess. I pity the illegals who have to clean the cubicles at NR after everyone’s gone home.
“But the United States is a just and generous nation…”
Except to those who dare impugn the good name of such paragons of corporate citizenship as BCCI and Custer Battles.
That Frum piece, delusions of grandeur. These clowns are like the kid who gets up in front of the speech class without realizing his zipper is down, then thinks all the attention is because his speech is so good.
Yes, we should have a statue of DeLay in the Rotunda, golfbag at his side, contempt in his eyes and with a hand out in waiting for the perpetual bribe.
The inscription reads, simply, “I AM the Government.” — T. DeLay
nitpick: “I AM the federal government,” IIRC. SCIIAW.
Sometime…partner.
Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew.
Imagine if these bootlickers had someone truly inspiring to glorify. God help us all.
Yes, there will be marble busts of these Patriots in the hallowed halls of Congress. They will be over twenty feet tall, sporting real human hair.
But the inscriptions will be the most illuminating. If you lean forward and read real close, you’ll see carved into the shiny brass plate:
EAT IT COBAGZ!!!11!!one!!
Oh, Frummy….so easy to say, isn’t it? By the time you have grandchildren, you’ll be an old, dottering has-been/never-was dribbling into your incontinence pants and no one will even remember all the inane things you said in your life. And the worst thing is, you know that.
Frum’s a fucking Canadian. Fuck anything he has to say about anything. Oh, he served as one of Bush’s speechwriters? Then upgrade that to a double-fuck.
I’ve already ordered my Tom Delay Life-size Memorial Dildo(tm). It’s great for fucking the American People!
The double-headed Gingrich/Delay model is on backorder.
Speaking of Ben Shapiro, I was wondering if he had written anything “good” lately. I haven’t seen him pilloried anywhere recently, and I miss him. Not that I expect you to do requests, of course.
A statute is a bit much but I’d chip in for a DeLay urinal.
Lucy, TBogg has a Ben Shapiro post.
TBOGG has what you’re lookin’ for, Lucy.
Anything we could attempt would pale in comparison.
Oh, great! Thanks to both of you. 🙂
er – I’d like to amend my post to read statue not statute. Speaking of laws is Delay’s Texas case set for trial yet?
Also… Gee, I wonder if they’d be such mewling lickspittles had he chosen to tough it out, dragging the GOP with him?
Canada, we disowned Frum long ago
his mother was a saint
he’s a sanctimoius prick
him and mark steyn
Fine, olexicon, but you must still answer for Adam Yoshida! ANSWER, DAMMIT!!!
“I pity the illegals who have to clean the cubicles at NR after everyone’s gone home.”
Do you know how hard it is to get week-old semen stains out of fabric?
Fine, olexicon, but you must still answer for Adam Yoshida! ANSWER, DAMMIT!!!
We’re fully prepared to take Frum back and suitable accomodation has in fact been prepared for him, on the island of Axel-Heilberg, in the High Arctic.
Yoshida remains in BC and is not allowed to cross the border.
Once again, I am forced to click through the links because I cannot distinguish the genuine Frum tripe from the satire.
does this mean clinton will get a statue too?