For those of you who missed our televised coverage of the recent Pam Atlas-Charles Johnson Blog War, here’s the transcript:
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SNN NIGHTLY NEWS REPORT
Aired October 25, 2007 – 08:32 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)
S,N!: Tonight on SNN, as wildfires are brought under control in Southern California, the nation turns its eyes away from those physical flames and towards the rhetorical ignition of a spectacular and unexpected inferno that has engulfed two twin pillars of the anti-Muslim eliminationism movement.
For Long Island’s lunatic race-baiter Pamela ‘Atlas’ Geller Oshry, what started last week as a two-day jaunt across the pond to drink a few Flirtinis, slur some Arabs and bash out a few choruses of the Horst Wessel Song, has turned into a living hell. For pony-tailed smooth jazzman-cum-paranoid bigot Charles Johnson, what left his keyboard as an uncharacteristically lucid post about non-imaginary fascists, has returned painfully in the horrific guise of a woman scorned.
SNN will have all the latest on this developing story, coming up. But first, for some background on what some are calling the first great schism in the post-9/11 wingnutosphere, we go to D. Aristophanes. DA, how did all of this get started and what can be done to prolong it for our amusement?
DA: Well, S,N!, it all starts with CounterJihad Brussels 2007, a gathering, or to put it in perhaps more accurate terms, a mustering of Freikorps legacies from across Europe. The agenda: To listen to keynote speeches, attend break-out sessions and make awkward passes at Pam Atlas, perhaps even adding the crucial ‘Jewess’ notch every Wehrmacht fetishist is secretly proud to have on his belt.
But while ‘Panzer Pam’ — as she’s now being affectionately called by her newfound Teutonic admirers — did indeed paint the town brown with various representatives of the Master Race while in Brussels, little did she know that back home in the States, her old friend Charles Johnson was watching with jealousy in his heart.
S,N!: Johnson harbors secret feelings for Oshry?
DA: That’s correct, S,N! One imagines that his ‘Little Footballs’ went from green to blue as he watched his hidden love for Pam become quite irretrievably unrequited.
S,N!: What did Johnson do?
DA: The only thing a man in his position who wants to win the love of a woman can do, S,N! He attacked her over the Internet.
S,N!: That’s when he posted some information about the questionable backgrounds of some of the CounterJihad attendees?
DA: Again, that is what sources are telling us. Johnson discovered that the ultra-nationalist Belgian Vlaams Belang party and its leader Filip Dewinter are total Nazi douchebags. And he ran with it.
S,N!: But does Johnson normally care if people are fascists? Even if they agree with him that Muslims are animals who deserve to be put down?
DA: Not normally, no. But in this case, those close to him suspect that Johnson’s burning desire to grope Oshry’s silicone-enhanced breasts got the better of him, and he acted rashly. And act he did, flying quite boldly in the face of his default, one-track obsession with Islam. When Johnson actually addressed a topic other than the latest truck backfiring in Damascus, it was as if he had suddenly ripped an IV from his arm that had been pumping 9/11 freakout juice into his veins for the past six years.
S,N!: Amazing.
DA: It is. Of course, by all accounts he’s since returned to his normal state of bugfuck crazy when it comes to Muslims. And yet Johnson is clearly still wounded at not being invited to this year’s CounterJihad conference. Witnesses say it was the raciest one ever.
S,N!: No pun intended.
DA: I’m not sure what you mean. Oh, ‘raciest’, ‘racist’. Ha ha. But I must tell you that some of the conference activities we hear of really show a more fun-loving side to modern-day National Socialists then we’re used to. From an S&M fashion show featuring skinheads in drag being dominated by a female Hitler impersonator, to a reenactment of the Beer Hall Putsch that culminated in a rollicking game of ‘hide-the-bratwurst’ throughout the assorted suites, rooms and broom closets of whatever shitty Brussels hotel still rents to the unhanged remnants of the Waffen SS, this was one wild hate-fest.
S,N!: Oh, to be a fly on the wall for that!
DA: Yes. As I understand it, the multi-faceted eye structure of a fly would prevent one from being able to visually process any of those things.
S,N!: All of this is just fascinating stuff. And watching this Blog War unfold has just been a ‘grab-the-popcorn’ moment for many of us.
DA: I don’t think there’s enough popcorn in the world for this one. I’m not certain that there’s enough popcorn on Popcornooine IV, third planet in the Popcornelgeuse System, primary supplier of popcorn to the Popcornhead Nebula quadrant of the Popcorn Way Galaxy.
S,N!: Members of the not-insane community tell us that it really has been astonishing to see Oshry, Johnson and their assorted venal hangers-on attack each other with the rapacity they normally reserve for rational people.
DA: Well, it’s sort of like watching piranhas being ripped to shreds by locusts as they skeletonize a pack of hyenas who are polishing off the last few crumbs of the Manson Family. Terrifying, yet one can’t look away.
S,N!: But getting back to the timeline of events. What was Oshry’s reaction to Johnson’s betrayal?
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