I made the list twice.

Go me…yeah terrorist times two baby! Time to go destroy America some more by uh…attending class and uh…defending civil liberties…and being frowny…

Universities and colleges?

That’s it, nothing will convince me that site isn’t a shining example of spoof done right. “Jason Rantz”?

Yeah, subtle.

Face it Jillian, you’re not Think Progress. Now, I know that hurts, but sheesh, you can at least wear pink tonight while quaffing your ale and pretend you’re a member of one of the most dangerous groups in America. It’s either pink or a klan hood, your choice.

that is comedy, Jillian!

“Moveon.org: …While they have little effect on elections or policies, they are powerful because they are not only in bed with so many liberal leaders, but they do the liberals’ dirty work for them. Here are two notable failed campaigns by MoveOn.org…”

They’re such dangerous complete failures that must be destroyed because they can’t harm us in any way due to their ineffectual, horribly threatening threats.

Foreigners, women, gays, gay foreign women, self-loathing white men…..
I’m sure we’ve all been placed on watch lists, if that makes you feel better, Jillian.

Ice cream AND cheap beer? You’re going to drown your sorrows by chugging Miller Lite floats? That’s hardcore.

My favorite part is how ‘Jason’ threw in the League of the South in there. “Look, I’m bipartisan!”

I subvert my fingers to the bone and this is the thanks I get?!?

“Jason Rantz is a talk show host in San Diego, CA and a boisterous critic of higher education and political correctness. He frequently skewers PC-society on his irreverent talk show The Jason Rantz Show. Known for his edgy commentary and observational humor, Rantz rants on just about everything and anything on his mind. Rantz has been called “skillfully witty” by the DPad Magazine and callers flock to his show to participate in no-holds-barred “hot talk”. Rantz holds a Bachelor’s degree in Politics from Occidental College, Los Angeles and has a radio career (on the microphone and behind the scenes) spanning nearly ten years.”

In other words: another saloon loudmouth, Junior Varsity division.

“The League of the South is a sexist and racist group of Southerners who call for the cessation of the South.”

Huh?

What, no Hollywood? A suspicious omission, to be sure…

Y’know, now that you mention it I haven’t had the white shirts at my door in MONTHS. Is there some sinister (get it?) version of the Overton Window that just keeps sliding left and now, anybody who isn’t to the left of, say, Vladimir lenin just isn’t really a threat anymore?

Dammit, do I need to break out the potassium perchlorate over the weekend to get their attention? Or maybe show up in Washoe county, making a lot of noise about the scumbags in washington?

Don’t make me do something I’m going to regret!!

mikey

That’s right G, they want to umm … cease … errr … the South. I’m with’em all da way.

“Rantz holds a Bachelor’s degree in Politics from Occidental College”

Uh…oh…

2) Universities and Colleges

Methinks the lady dost protest too much. The man was trained by vile terrorists!

“The League of the South is a sexist and racist group of Southerners who call for the cessation of the South.”

That hurt my brain so badly it took me four minutes to figure out the word he was looking for. It’s been like that all day, though. I was reading Tbogg’s Captain Ed thing and it took me three minutes to spot where Ed thought he’d made a pun.

Jillian!

Don’t do it! Don’t give up!! See this as an opportunity to be MORE!!

More unAmerican!! More Immoral!! More Rabid!! More of a… ummm… vile traitor to our very way of life itself!!!!!!

And you are going to need something a hell of a lot stronger than ice cream and Miller to do that, baby!

Let’s get to it!!

Fuck fuck fuck fuck. Warmin’ up with a little obscenity.

I hate George W. Bush. I hate George W. Bush. War bad. Cheney a crazed nut. Movin’ on with some unpatriotic appetizers.

Me loves me some civil rights. Domestic wiretapping bad, telecoms evil. Mmmmmm. Tasty salad.

I support gay rights, illegal immigrants, workers’ rights, and see the Republican Party as a vehicle for gross corruption in all things. Awesome steak & potatoes.

And for dessert, I’m a trial lawyer, subverting corporate America and all things Republican. Sweet & gooey, baby.

That should get us on the list, Jillian. If not, c’mon back and I’m sure I can think of something more to add.

Need we mention that a little Gavin has whispered in our ears that GAVIN IS NOT WHITE????

I like how actual terrorists (with bombs and stuff) are lumped with liberal groups who haven’t a single charge of trespassing against them.

FRC, yeah, what about Southern Baptist’s Union? Women shall submit graciously to their husbands?

[sob!]

Bubba, I’m a Jew! and and atheist! and a socialist! For cryin’ out loud, I wrote my senior thesis on the works of Vladimir Lenin! My favorite college professor actually was a Marxist and an old school CPUSA member! What else can I possibly do?

Seems there’s enough weirdness in that list to qualify as generally unhinged….

FSM is attacking FRC as “far right?” Down the rabbit hole again… this is what they think is centrist:

http://digbysblog.blogspot.com/2007/08/hail-caesar-by-digby-ive-been-getting.html

Whew!

Oh, they’ll pay for this.

It’s time I complete that “First Annual Sadly, no! Abortion-o-thon” post that’s lain back in the fridge for so long.

Well, I hope that beer is an import.

On Rantz, two words: pictures and audio.

Don’t cease the South! All my stuff is here!

You can’t get good barbecue anywhere else, anyway. And yes, yes, I know you know of some cool little place in Boston or Chicago or Sacremento that serves rockin’ sloppy joes, but you’re still wrong. Just trust me on this.

The guy’s a “boisterous critic of higher education and political correctness,” which reads to me like he’d prefer people stay stupid and mean-spirited. Sounds like the modern conservative movement in a nutshell, don’t it.

D. Sidhe,
Don’t feel bad about missing Cap’n Ed’s pun (or play on words). You had to cut through three solid feet of piss-and-moan before you got to the creamy stupid center, anyway.

What else can I possibly do?

I plan to make a nearly tasteless apple pie and feed it to a bald eagle.

Man, I’m half-ARAB! Half-SAUDI, for that matter! What more do these people want?

1) Media Matters for America

Media does matter for America – which is why you should steer clear of the astoundingly inaccurate and unethical Media Matters for America.

Gosh, he said dishonest, machine, running through the mud, smear merchants, anti-free speech, astoundingly inaccurate, unethical…

And his example is that they encourage people to call in to their local stations? That’s anti-free speech? And conservative speech is ‘out of context’ when repeated whole cloth on their site? And ‘phony soldiers’ is conservative speech?

I wonder if Media Matters could ever do anything “right” by those definitions.

That’s it.

We need a write-in campaign.

Everyone here needs to write Jason Rantz and DEMAND that Sadly, No! be added to the list of “most dangerous organizations in America”. Only then will we get the recognition we so justly deserve.

Cessation of the South = “Y’all stop that!”

Silly Yankees.

I’ll go out on a limb and guess that “women who won’t date me” was #11 on the list.

I keep it highbrow.

Good call on pushing the foreigner angle!

“Seb, a French-Canadian financial analyst living in Germany”

Hmmm, nice trifecta on the French/German/homosexual ..erm Canadian elements. All verified anti-american influences. Actually speaking any of the 3 languages will help (have him practice saying “what’s that aboot”).

Any way you could brown him up? Maybe a tanning bed or toaster oven? Could the rest of you start wearing towels on your heads?

Sadly No needs some failed campaigns in order to be truly dangerous!

Jillian: “Seb’s not even American!”

Righteous Bubba: “Need we mention that a little Gavin has whispered in our ears that GAVIN IS NOT WHITE????”

Jillian: “Bubba, I’m a Jew! and and atheist! and a socialist!”

Leonard Pierece: “Man, I’m half-ARAB! Half-SAUDI, for that matter!”

HTML Mencken: “It’s time I complete that “First Annual Sadly, no! Abortion-o-thon” post that’s lain back in the fridge for so long.”

So we got, so far, a French-speaking financier living in Germany, a Small Person of the North, a radical, secular Jew, an Arab, and a rural abortion advocate. In czarist Russia, such a combination would top the list of Threats to the State.

Hey, I teach at a university so I make #2 (in math–what does that do to my ranking?). What you need is more energy–my guess is that after a hard day of anti-American activity you’re tuckered out. What you need is a pick-me-up–instead of regular beer, go for the caffeine infused stuff. It will get you back trying to turn America into a ‘worker’s paradise’ in no time.

Jillian is right! Buck the Fush! Death to America! All hail the new North American Union! European Socialists are our superiors! Mandatory Homo-nups for all white Christians! Graeme Frost and Green Helmet Guy in 08!
All religions should be banned except Islam and Global Warming! Al Gore is bigger than Jesus!

Whew. Well I hope that’s anti-American enough to bump S,N! up a few notches.

Jason Rantz….has a radio career (on the microphone and behind the scenes) spanning nearly ten years.”

Translation? He worked for the college station for 4 years, got an internship somewhere, and has been on-air now for 1.5 years – just about as long, I believe, as Geri Thompson’s career as a high-powered political operative.

“Seb, a French-Canadian financial analyst living in Germany”

All right, now. You know and I know that “Seb” is no more real than Gary Ruppert.

I plan to make a nearly tasteless apple pie and feed it to a bald eagle.

Well, I plan to get an eagle pot pie at the Red Apple. Um… or chicken, maybe.

Is that really what he looks like?

I like how actual terrorists (with bombs and stuff) are lumped with liberal groups who haven’t a single charge of trespassing against them.

Hey, dammit. I thought I had SOME standing and recognition around here.

Sheesh, whaddaya gotta do to get some recognition for your bombs, killings and assorted felonies?

mikey

You’re unlikely to find a more dishonest machine than Media Matters. Their entire operation involves listening to conservative talk radio and television commentators, taking anything out of context that they can, and running the host through the mud. They are professional smear merchants who routinely attack Bill O’Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Neil Cavuto.

Yes, all those complete show transcripts running hosts through the mud attacking the combined genius that is O’Reilly, Limbaugh, Hannity and Cavuto is TOTALLY a TOTAL, like for real, threat to the very fabric that is America!

By the way, couldn’t we as a country achieve energy independence if we just harnessed the combined genius of those four men? Surely it could be done with a concerted, for-profit effort funded entirely by Wingnuttia.

Oh, by the way, S,N! are losers.

Sometimes I forget what the point I was trying to make.

Don’t give up, though. That would be a victory for the…terrorists? Right wing? I’m so confused…

This guy likes to make laughable lists. From December 2006, America’s Most Dangerous College Courses, and from September 2007, a Playlist for a Young Conservative.

Now wait just a goddamned minute. You mean after all this time I’ve been laughing and crying at a website run by Jewish-Commie-Furrner-dark-skinned-America-hating-Homo-Jihadi-sexuals?

Whaaaa?

Those are some well fed eyebrows. Love his angry Rabbi mug too.

Wow, what a fucking needledick. There’s so much missing from this list I don’t know where to start.

Where is the Dark Lord Kos who visits our fevered nightmares with his liberal talking points?

Where is Ward Churchill? Fucking fuckity fuck .. Ward Mother fucking Churchill!!??!elfin He’s the Che Guevara of Jerry Lewis Stalinist-repression telethon poster children. It’s just not an enemies list without Ward.

Where is whoever photoshopped young Jason’s eyebrows? Kind of botched it, but still …

And where is Jillian? Where are the Sadlynofacists? When is it our awareness week? Who Mourns for Adonais?
.
.
.
Dread Cthulhu will be very disappointed.

And to leave out Bill Clinton?? Come on! He’s only been out of office seven years now!

Oooo … C&L just posted that Laura Ingraham will now talk Stalkin’ Malkins spot as O’Reilly’s fill-in. Man, Malkin’s gonna hate that one. I can see her now, stomping her little feet and in a huff screaming … “I’ve tried all these years to be a good white girl, and this is the thanks I get!”

Jillian, you didn’t even make the slightest effort to blame your failures on somebody else. You’re just not emitting on a wavelength they can register.

I think there is an error in your photo caption. Shouldn’t it say “Jason Rantz & spouse”?

I just realized who Jason “Rantz” (sure, and his parents Mr. and Mrs. Rantz) reminds me of: George Duran from “Ham on the Street” (Food Network).

And to take it all home in…

These, from his “Playlist For a Young Conservative.”

Relient K– Don’t know them. He cites it by way of saying that the entrance of Fred Thompson in the prez race is “the best thing that could happen.”

Then:

Peter Gabriel. And Pink Floyd.

Does anyone care to predict how Gabriel or Roger (“The Wall”) Waters would react to this utter and complete ninny? And his “Young Conservatives”?

You heard me. Ninny. I said it, and I meant it to sting.

What do this loser have against college anyhow? Did he not get to participate in any of the extra curricular activities, like massive keggers and having a girlfriend or two? Never got to hang out with the ‘cool’ kids, just like Ben “still a virgin” Shapiro? They will grow bitter once they realize they have to marry their first lay.

“Jason Rantz & spouse”?

“…& the twins”.

Those are some crazee eyebrows. No wonder he hates everything.

This is a bitter pill. The only thing I can think of is to significantly up the gay abortions output. We need a team – working in shifts if need be. Otherwise, we will never destroy America.

Isn’t Think Progress basically the blog of the Center for American Progress? So by basically getting listed twice, does that make CAP more dangerous than even [gasp] Media Matters??

Well, I plan to get an eagle pot pie at the Red Apple. Um… or chicken, maybe.

I plan to gather up some red white and blue material…and make the FRENCH FLAG!!!

So we got, so far, a French-speaking financier living in Germany, a Small Person of the North, a radical, secular Jew, an Arab, and a rural abortion advocate. In czarist Russia, such a combination would top the list of Threats to the State.

See, this is why Sadly, No! isn’t on the list. Hell, even the Republicans can come up with two Jews, a Black, and a cripple.

Try harder, guys. Maybe a lesbian Islamic communist from Mexico?

And here I thought “FSM” stood for “Flying Spaghetti Monster.”

You should work up a Sadly, No! soccer team…and only play on baseball diamonds.

On Rantz, two words: pictures and audio.

I checked out those links. He’s got a face that was made for radio but I can’t say the same about his voice.

I’m planning on blowing up the NYT building and killing scores of innocent Americans.

Oh wait, that makes me a conservative hero, never mind. Drat I suck at this! Maybe I should kidnap a couple innocent people and torture them in my basement for a while – darn it nope, that won’t work either. Hmm…

I know, I’ll say that detainment without trial is wrong – there we go, now I’ve got this dangerous terrorist thing down!

Hey, I teach at a university so I make #2 (in math–what does that do to my ranking?)

Well, hello colleague. May I say that I plan to be the first mathematician on some list of the one hundred most dangeral professors – hope you don’t mind.

Jillian: CPUSA? Puh-lease, with being a right-opportunist like that you are probably holding the Sadly, No! team back. Still, it is outrageous that they ranked the Democratic Party (in the form of MoveOn) ahead of you.

“When you and I think about progress, we think about securing our borders, fighting terrorism, and making the Bush tax cuts permanent”

Damn straight! That’s exactly what progress means.

You guys should demand a retabulation. You definitely fit into the ‘taking right wing mumblings and spewings out of context by pretending they had a context and mocking the living sh*t out of them’ category.

FSM is attacking FRC as “far right?”

Well, Jason Brantz is at least. A little biographical context from the For the Fans section of his personal web page:

Sites Jason Visits:

Wild Life Productions – My father makes porn. This is his company.

Brantz Rantz

the_millionaire_lebowski said,
And here I thought “FSM” stood for “Flying Spaghetti Monster.”

And as practicing Pastafarians my cats and I are very deeply offended by the misappropriation of our religious abbreviations for such a nefarious purpose.

See what I don’t understand is how he missed the feminists and gays. Doesn’t he listen to Patjerry Robertwell? They’re responsible for 9/11 and hurricanes and earthquakes and pretty much everything bad (like math–hey, christian h, never too many math people). No wait, I’m responsible, me. And I’m going to hell (just ask any evangelist–I don’t believe in God after all–I think we should change the saying on our money to ‘In God We Don’t Trust’).

His “Do I look fat in this?” clip is high-larious. Jason Rantz is the one-legged man at the kicking contest.

That scruffy cheesedick titles a column “Playlist for a young conservative” and then lists four fucking songs! Don’t they have editors over at that place where he puked this column onto the carpet? Didn’t anybody notice? Nobody said, “uh, Jason, this seems kinda thin, could you maybe add a few songs to your list of songs?” I was expecting to be entertained by how clueless and out of step his choices were, but hey didn’t even bother to make any. What a lazy shit. Here, let me show you:

And now, we have an official playlist.
In response to reports suggesting former Senator and “Law and Order” star Fred Thompson is entering the race, young conservatives are taking new meaning from Relient K’s “The Best Thing” where vocalist Matt Theissen declares:
This is the best thing
The best thing that could be happening
And I think you would agree
The best thing is that it’s happening to you and me.

Young conservatives are steadfast in our support for what is right, and our morals and opinions aren’t dictated by daily polls. While liberals are “waiting for the world to change” (thanks for that gem of a song, John Mayer), young conservatives are dealing with reality.

That’s the whole column, except for a paragraph at the top that doesn’t mention ANY songs. To recap, you get one line of lyric from two songs by artists that are avowedly not conservative, then a couple of bands that nobody ever heard of. Jesus, I hope this pucking futz didn’t get paid to write that crap.

Everyone here needs to write Jason Rantz and DEMAND that Sadly, No! be added to the list of “most dangerous organizations in America”. Only then will we get the recognition we so justly deserve.

OK, I really seriously wanna email this dipstick and demand our inclusion. But, I honestly am a bit afraid that someone at this site may have connections, and may use my info against me.

What do y’all think? Too paranoid? How much info can they get from a simple email address & a name?

Uh…”J”..?:

(On Rantz, two words: pictures and audio.)

I went to “pictures” and it wasn’t pretty. WTF is with those eyebrows of his? Looks like he superglued a couple of weasels above his eyes. With that much hair, ain’t no one keepin’ his feet warm at night – I’m guessin’!

Didn’t have the courage for “audio” Anyone?

yo.yo..yo… slow down. slooowwww doowwwwwnnn.n..n…n…n…..n. (weird that kind of makes the last “n” look bigger than the rest. anyhoo.). that “rantz” motherfucker is not even “keeping it real in the middle,” if you know what i mean? you don’t? well here it is:

“keeping it real in the middle,” you can now lay on your friends, means that one lets one’s hair naturally connect in the middle of one’s brow forming what would formerly be called a “unibrow.” but what we have here is a “single browed” man (that’s what we prefer nowadays) living in shame. it’s so goddamn painfully obvious that he is not keeping it real in the middle (i’m not even going to use scare quotes anymore because it is now in the vernacular).
anyway, listen, “jason,” dude, you know those hot guys? the ones with the nice distinct brows, yeah they may pluck and tweeze to keep them oh so right but really god made their brows mostly distinct. i don’t know what you use to keep those things apart but man, like we say in texarkana, it must be like keeping two bulls from sucking each other off after watching an orgiastic, sweat drenched UFC battle.

fast fun fact:
a couple of famous single browed humans were the painter frida kahlo (but not her vagina. wink wink) and the downright zany movie critic gene shallit (shallit spelled with only one “L” apparently. but a quick google to check the spelling did come up with this hit headline: “Gene Shalit on his gay son.”
who knew? gay son.

keeping it real in the middle,
barry

atheist said,
OK, I really seriously wanna email this dipstick and demand our inclusion. But, I honestly am a bit afraid that someone at this site may have connections, and may use my info against me.

What do y’all think? Too paranoid? How much info can they get from a simple email address & a name?

According to my Senator (pity me I am in Connecticut) there are now 860,000 names on the terrorism watch list. No level of paranoia is excessive.

Ok, I wanna say something.

See, this is…

Nah.

What it is, see, is these asshats want…

Nope.

I’m just not sure how to counter the arguments of a nobody’s nobody named “Rantz” who nobody listens to and who has a constituency of, basically, his MOM, and I’m not sure what his point is in the first place.

Nope, here’s the deal. If this is what’s gonna wash up against the baricades when the whole deal goes south?

I says Bring on the Civil War ’cause this isn’t even close to challenging, entertaining or intimidating. This is just dynamiting fish in a very small barrel and declaring victory.

We find a way to shut up Limbaugh or Drudge, I’ll feel like we earned our salt….

This nasty little fucker can just eat my old sox….

mikey

Why is it so perfect that a guy who looks like that (sor-reeee – lookism!) would be a UFC fan?

I apologize to all you liberal UFC fans. But – excuse me. At work I have a client who is a martial arts fight promoter, and I am getting sick and tired of storking his male ego by laughing in amusement at his testosterone-infused posturing. He’s a nice guy, which is why I put up with his constant desire for validation, but for fuck’s sake, do you HAVE to always brag to me that you know how to operate a fork lift?

I do too, asshole, and probably better than you. Not to mention my co-workers, who actually do it for a living.

what we have here is a “single browed” man (that’s what we prefer nowadays) living in shame.

Self loathing. It’s true, it can be so corrosive.

OTOH, if he’d only just experience the sensual pleasures of having his brows threaded by a dusky, supple, and exotic Iranian woman, it might change his world-view!

I wonder if Rantz is going to back Mark Noonan for congress. I think somebody should ask him about that. We need independent media personalities like him to get the word out. We should start spamming every conservative radio host and Fox news personality lest his campaign be suppressed by the Mainstream Liberal Media. The Powerful Vs. the Blogosphere! Democracy in action.

Ah, but it’s not only the eybrows.

On the For the Fans section of his website, Jason also provides an invaluable link to Mangroomer, the essential do-it-yourself electric back shaver.

nah, g.
if it were only that easy.

the shame of a thick, dank mane of brow fur is not bound to any one particular ideology.

Ok, two things. First, I can see seventy from where I’m dug in, and I can still piss my neighbors off with Blink 182 behind two thousand watts of pre-amp and double drivers. I want you to know I feel good about that.

Second. For whatever it’s worth, g. I’ve spent years having to be the one who drives the forklift. I figured out early in the eighties that if I drive it thru a wall, roll-up door or window, I never am “allowed” to drive it again. So I’ve made the insurance industry a few hundred thousand dollars, but I’m essenstially banned from fork lift driving.

Works for me….

mikey

http://narutofan.blog.playersrepublic.fr/album/rock_lee/cover-naruto_lee0048.jpg

I liked driving a forklift. Lifting things is good too.

Don’t feel bad, Jillian. It’s all a popularity contest, anyways, like the SGA back in school. Screw them. Let’s ditch last period and drive down to Silver Diner for burgers and shakes.

Um, how is it that “rob in toronto” says he’s in Connecticut? What else has he been covering up? Seems a bit fishy … certainly reason enough for our NSA minder to put all guys in Connecticut named “Rob” onto the watch list.

Jump right on that, sparky.

Lifting things is good too.

?????

I HATED carrying heavy shit. And I got my start in the lumber biz.

All I could think about was “how do I get outta this human fork lift detail?”

And the answer? Sadly, salesman.

The rest is history…

mikey

Oh yeah, forgot: Rock Lee, also known in Naruto as “Bushy Brow”.

http://www.geocities.com/disposableherodm/lee.jpg

zsa said,

Um, how is it that “rob in toronto” says he’s in Connecticut? What else has he been covering up? Seems a bit fishy … certainly reason enough for our NSA minder to put all guys in Connecticut named “Rob” onto the watch list.

The funny thing is that every single time that I mention a politician on that place that only my cats read I get hits from the Sgt at Arms for the Senate and the State Department. Now granted I only notice because only about 5 people ever read my blog but I have to admit that it gives me a chuckle.

Lifting things is good too.

now that’s just plain commie talk. i’ll fetch fetch the hammer and sickle and then we can lift until the entire motherland is heaved onto the back of glory. rantz needs to take a peek in here ASAP and roust out all these “workers.”

Now, Righteous Bubba, that’s just mean. After all, Rock Lee is a kind, hard-working, honest young man! He believes in the power of Youth and in being a Good Guy. *Teeth twinkle*

(Also, technically, Naruto calls him ‘kemushi’-eyebrows; ‘kemushi’ being the Japanese word for ‘fuzzy caterpillar’.)

…This concludes another random post full of completely pointless trivia.

Second. For whatever it’s worth, g. I’ve spent years having to be the one who drives the forklift. I figured out early in the eighties that if I drive it thru a wall, roll-up door or window, I never am “allowed” to drive it again.

That’s pretty much the tactic my partner uses to get out of doing laundry, too.

(Also, technically, Naruto calls him ‘kemushi’-eyebrows; ‘kemushi’ being the Japanese word for ‘fuzzy caterpillar’.)

I don’t get it. Why would you bother with some crappy Japanese translation when the original English is there for all to see?

Rob in Wherever: I too have rec’d. hits from the Senate Sgt.-at-Arms, one of them looking for “Sen. Crapo’s shitty website,” though the references to Sen. Crapo had to do w/ his being Larry Craig’s fellow Idahoan, & the “shitty website” was something completely different. This occurred early on a Sunday morning, IIRC, probably a bored guard in the security office looking @ CC monitors w/ no activity on them all night long using the internet. Or they’re making a list of any one who mocks Senators, for later use.

Lawnguylander: “A face for radio & a voice for newspapers,” as we used to say.

First, disclaimer.

I’m pretty seriously drunk. I made red baens (hee hee) and rice, and green pepper tortillas, and fuck it, I’ll eat something tomorrow.

Second, fact. I’m deeply in love with D. Sidhe.

Now I’m gonna drink myself stupid, because I can…

mikey

Oh, and if you haven’t pissed off your neighbors with Zevon’s version of “Cadillac Ranch”, you either don’t have Limewire or you simple ain’t trying…

mikey

ah so you fell for it. As if it weren’t obvious enough that a rant written by Jason Rantz is a parody what about this ? “It’s hard to believe a group like this still exists. The League of the South is a sexist and racist group of Southerners who call for the *cessation* of the South.”

Look I got my problems with the South too but I don’t want it to cease to exist.
Glad that Mr Rantz and this league at least agree that the league shouldn’t exist.

Hey, I’ve got a truck load of gay Iranian men in need of an abortion and lesbian Mexican women with scissors for castrating here. Who’s gonna sign for this?

I don’t feel safe in this world no more
I don’t want to die in a nuclear war
I wanna sail away to a distant shore
And live like an Ape Man

mikey

Hey, I’ve got a truck load of gay Iranian men in need of an abortion and lesbian Mexican women with scissors for castrating here.

Mmmm. But do they do eyebrow threading?

For whatever it’s worth, g. I’ve spent years having to be the one who drives the forklift.

Yeah, I drove a fork when called upon for about 10 -12 years. Where I worked, we had to haul a lot of equipment throughout a 72 acre special event location site. We had the standard Yale machines, but also a Hyster that had forks you could move side to side (instead of having to get out front and moving them by hand) and a couple of those cute little green Clarks.

You ever transport a grand piano down a hill? They make a helluva sound when they flip off the forks.

Now I work in an office and wear business clothes. Even jewelry. My macho client – who’s really very nice – enjoys HawHawing and bragging about forking anvil cases off the back of trucks – a pretty simple task, something I could do – and did do, I’m sorry to say – if I were drunk. I usually just smile, but sometimes I want to ask him how many pianos he’s taken down.

Note – there is a certain skill to forklifting grand pianos that involves the relative weight distribution. People who don’t understand it are often very surprised.

Well, hello colleague. May I say that I plan to be the first mathematician on some list of the one hundred most dangeral professors – hope you don’t mind.

Alas, also-colleague, but that title has already been taken. Say a big mathematical hello to Ted Kaczynski, aka the Unabomber.

And from my own university, just since my time there, there’s been at least half a dozen complete mental breakdowns, about a dozen partial breakdowns/folk who are on psychoactive medication for various things (including me), and one murder. And that’s just people I know personally: for all I know, the student rosters dwindle alarmingly as the year goes on, with crazed maths students slaughtering all and sundry.

Maths: only for the weird.

Second, fact. I’m deeply in love with D. Sidhe.

You too?

here’s been at least half a dozen complete mental breakdowns, about a dozen partial breakdowns/folk who are on psychoactive medication for various things (including me), and one murder.

Damn, really? Sounds like October in my support group!

We decided it was a VERY good month…

mikey

In mans evolution he has created the cities and
The motor traffic rumble, but give me half a chance
And Id be taking off my clothes and living in the jungle
cos the only time that I feel at ease
Is swinging up and down in a coconut tree
Oh what a life of luxury to be like an ape man

Ray Davies absolutely rocks.

Ever tried maths, Mikey? I’m sure you’d love it.

(Sulking because everybody loves D. Sidhe, who is after all just a Celtic supernatural being. Where’s the cat love here?)

I sometimes feel that Qetesh and I were born on the opposite sides of the planet merely to balance the power….

mikey

See? Your wisdom and power does not go onion recognized….

mikey

(Norteño, and armed)

My sister is a big-time fan of Reliant K. They’re not bad for their normal music, but they fill the remainder of their discs with well-meaning crud. Some of the non-airplay stuff is terrible.

They’d be an okay nameless band if they weren’t milking the Christian market.

Whoa.

I should just say – I am sitting at the same place where, 3 days ago, it was 90 degrees and I was watching the hillside to the west wondering when I’d see the line of flame on top of the ridge.

Now, it is probably 55 degrees, and I can only see a bank of coastal fog out the window to the south. I’m actually cold enough now to need a sweater.

Fires are still burning down in Tbogg’s land.

the geriatric Rottweiler is painfully trying to hoist his bandy and feeble legs up the 5 steps to the bedroom part of the house. When he does this, he looks mournfully at us, as if to say, “Well, it’s high time for everyone to go to bed.” What a guilt trip.

This fucking world is crazy, man. I think I gotta go to bed.

She must belong to San Francisco
She must have lost her way
Postin’ a poster of Poncho and Cisco
One California day

Y’know?

g: And people say we don’t have seasons in SoCal.

My gawd … the Virgin Ben graduated from Law School?!?!!!!!

I betcha we made teh extra super duper double secret most dangerous list.

Awww, mikey, you made it all better.

I think the poor state of the trolls here were the deciding factor. I mean compare Gary to the waves of trolls that Tbogg gets. Get better trolls and you’ll make it in 08, I’m sure!

It took me awhile to figure out that “Name is sentence” does not mean his name is a form of judicially-imposed punishment.

Oh c’mon: how are YOU gonna question the judgment of a guy who “has been called ‘skillfully witty’ by the DPad Magazine,” AND “holds a Bachelor’s degree in Politics from Occidental College, Los Angeles.” – (from his personal bio on his own family-friendly site)

Yep, that’s THE genuine and original DPad Magazine, you pitiful whining fool.

And, that’s THE Occidental College, no less.

Yeah, I didn’t know colleges bestowed degrees in “Politics” either – but I guess that’s just because I had a public education, treacherous wily Socialist that I am. Hey, how come I didn’t make the list for that? I even stole some rich white Republican kid’s private school voucher and and rolled it up to snort the drugs that I got from rag-head Muslim countries, in fact.

And you think you’ve been jilted…

Qetesh the Abyssinian said, “Where’s the cat love here?”

Qatesh, I loves the kitties, that’s why I exist only for their amusement.

And I’m of Celtic extraction as well, though Gavin’s discussion of eyelid features has me wondering if there’s a northern Finn in my woodpile.

Hey g! Was it a Bosendorfer concert grand (which come close to a ton) or a Fazioli (which come close to $1,000,0000)? ’cause if it was, you are my new hero!

“I don’t think I’ve ever been so miserable before in my entire life.”

Don’t be ridiculous. You always feel that way!

Hey g! Was it a Bosendorfer concert grand (which come close to a ton) or a Fazioli (which come close to $1,000,0000)? ’cause if it was, you are my new hero!

No, it was a 6′ Steinway – not in fine shape, as they only allowed the crappy pianos to be forked around the facility.

We had a Bosie they locked up and only took out for the high rollers.

See, the secret of forking grand pianos around is that you gotta put a counterweight on the light end, so it’ll balance properly on the forks. Now I think they actually have a weighted object they use, but back in the day before obsessive safety regs, the best way to do it was to have a guy ride on it.

A friend of mine once drove a piano across the park to put it away, and when he got to the storage building, he started to get off the fork to unlock the door, and the guy riding on top say, “Hang on, I’ll get the door!” and jumped off. The piano immediately flipped end up and crashed off the forks. It was a sight to behold!

Bubba said,

I don’t get it. Why would you bother with some crappy Japanese translation when the original English is there for all to see?

…because ‘fuzzy caterpillar eyebrows’ (al a Noonan-guy) is funnier than ‘bushy-brows’?

Qetesh, I too am all about the catlove, ask my vet. I think we just paid her mortgage for the month. (Don’t ask my cat. They shaved another bit of her to take more blood. Good news: her red blood cell count is going up, if slowly. Bad news: she’s starting to look like a poodle.)

Really, if I haven’t yet propositioned you or proposed to you, it’s probably out of a sense that people are bored with me doing that.

Also, mikey only loves me because he doesn’t scare me, and because he’s drunk. (Or was, at the time.)

And, I’ll have you know I’m a multitude of mythological Celtic beings. I demand full credit for the plural.

While there is certainly some truth to the proposition that I love Sidhe because rather than scaring her, she’s sees through to my harmless, somewhat dopey inner surfer, it is entirely untrue that I only loved her drunk. I also find a deep infatuation with her when I’m high…

mikey

The League of the South is a sexist and racist group of Southerners who call for the cessation of the South.

Umm, Jason? I believe the word you’re looking for is “secession.” Cessation means something else entirely…

My favorite part is how ‘Jason’ threw in the League of the South in there. “Look, I’m bipartisan!”

Yeah, that and the Family “Research” Council are the only token conservative orgs he disses. Way to be “fair and balanced,” Jasmo.

That’s fine, mikey. Those are the top three reasons anybody loves me. The other reason is, I feed them. Admittedly this reason is more compelling with the cats, my partner, and a guy I know called Betty who likes my Spam dishes.

Good to hear the kitty is clawing back from what sounds like leukemia. That’s one very lucky cat to have someone who cares that much, and is willing to support the vet’s housing as well.

And I did actually know about the plurality thing, I was just a bit squiffy when I wrote that. Or do you prefer plethora? Panoply, perhaps?

Wait: “driving the forklift…” Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

Hey, I’m Hispanic. That should fill out the Islamomexicafascism aspect you guys need to carry you to the top of the list.

Spam is really good. Lots of yummy things can be done with spam.

But my A1c just came back 7.4.

Ok, not the end of the world, but doc’s gonna want me to prostrate myself at the altar of diabetes, and I’m not ready to go down that road.

Shit. Coulda been 6.9 and I’d be outta the woods.

Dammit…

mikey

Some dangers are so dreadful that you dare to mention them. It is hard to prove negative, but the list has a conspicuous discontinuity. This in number 9:

“MSA is a group that supports radical Islam that calls for the death of Jews, the wiping out of the United States, raises money for Hamas, and has many other ties to terrorist organizations.”

Presumably, as we go to the front of the list, it should be worse and worse. So what is this:

6) Family Research Council

The Family Research Council is a far-Right organization that oftentimes does not contribute positively to debates, […] I believe in a lot of what the FRC preaches but when they needlessly go too far, it does them – and the nation – a tremendous disservice.

Number nine wants to wipe out USA and number 6 “oftentimes does not contribute positively”? To me, it says that the true number six is so dreadful that Jason correctly dreads its retribution. A web site that not merely attacks everything we cherish and hold dear, but which humiliates righteous folks and reduces them to incoherent babble. I say, smart Jason! This post is but a blancing blow, but riskinking a full frontal attack by Sadly No! is is not advisable. Discretion may be a better part of valor.

Correction: Some dangers are so dreadful that you DO NOT dare to mention them.

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