Sadly, No!

Shorter Erich von Erich
Red State Championship Wretardling
“Thank God for American Crossroads and the Conservative Victory Project”
“Faulty Premises and Outlooks Formed”

• If Karl Rove thinks he can push a bunch of pussyfied RINO candidates on us, he’s got another thing coming. The movement wants real Genghis Khan conservatives, not squishy centrists like Attila the Hun.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

MOAR:
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Shorter Fran Tarkenton, Three-Time Super Bowl Loser
EwwSA Today
“Tarkenton: Mickelson was right on taxes”

• Leave Phil Mickelson alone! Leave him alone, you looters! When is it decent to bash someone who’s going through a hard time? LEAVE PHIL ALONE!

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

Above: Abrams, second from left, arm extended far into God of War’s posterior.

Elliott Abrams — also known by his nom de criminel Mr. Kenilworth — has written an account of Israel’s bombing of Syria’s al Kibar nuclear reactor. At the time, Abrams was one of George W. Bush’s deputy NSAs and so his version of events is an insider’s. Since Abrams is a self-described “gladiator,” a patron of butchers in Central America, a smear merchant and liar, husband of a genocidally-minded homophobic fascist, brother-in-law to one of same sentiments, son-in-law of a certifiable madman, and author of a book which demands of his co-tribalists a more ethnic purity by denouncing Jewish-gentile intermarriage in the strident tone of an old Southern anti-miscegenation tract, his story of the strike on Syria, published in his family’s magazine Commentardy, is bound to betray a certain authorial slant. And he doesn’t disappoint.
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Holy sweet Jebus, I’m gone for a couple of years and look what I miss: crown jewels of wingnuttery! Our old pal Adam “Shove them into human-sized microwaves” Yoshida has become an author of military science fiction or, as he likes to call it, future history. He’s already written two novels, A Land War in Asia and A Blast of War, and considering Yoshi’s previously stated desire to glennocide pretty much everyone in the world apart from American Republicans and British and Canadian Tories, I can well imagine the content of these books.

Above: Uncle Yoshi wants You to join the U.S. Wankery

Apparently he’s sold a few copies and is therefore letting his fertile imagination run wild with ideas for future volumes. One idea is a story about how genetically and politically superior humans on Mars are forced to show the likewise inferior humans (liberals) left on Earth just who’s boss when an alien presence threatens the solar system. Another story will focus on a plucky young billionaire conservative who recruits an army of mercenaries and topples dictators in Africa (I take it Yoshi is a fan of Mark Thatcher); I modestly suggest the title Heart of Fartness. As for his third idea, I’ll leave it in our favorite Japanese-Canadian fascist’s own words:
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Above: Scapular dreadlocks indicate manatee species Trichechus podtardius.

From John Podhoretz’s ohbitchiary of Ed Koch:

Then there was the madness of social disorder, best exemplified by the deranged ideas in liberal circles about homelessness. This disastrous phenomenon was viewed as the result of evil Ronald Reagan social policies, not as the result of the wholesale emptying-out of psychiatric institutions and jails.

Koch stood athwart famed liberal institutions that hotly defended the rights of people to live in the city’s streets, even though they were a clear danger to themselves and others and the most visible mark of a society no longer able to maintain any kind of civil order.

It was one of Ronald Reagan’s evil social policies to empty-out the psychiatric institutions, first state-wide when he was governor of California and then nationally as President.

Of course anyone who kicks the sick and poor in the teeth is all right with a Pod Person, and the late NYC mayor certainly qualifies. But always the greatest concern for Pod People when considering another human being is the attitude to rightwing Jewish identity politics. If one is of The Tribe and puts it and its Eastern Mediterranean real estate first among all things in life, then one is deemed a Good Person; if not, then one is a Bad Person, a self-loather, a functionally non-Jew. JPod happily decides Koch was good and in that Chosen context he’s probably right.

A late night dose of musical transhumanism with some robotics thrown in.

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In a world, where the NRA has completely lost the plot…

No. That’s not sarcasm, the NRA has a ginormous list of “enemies” “with Anti-Gun policies”* that it’s decided to pop up on their main site with a “who will rid me of this meddlesome priest” air.

And, Bob help me, it might be one of the crackiest lists I have ever seen. The list of enemies includes some obvious candidates:
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  =  
Above: G.I. Steyn trumps Sgt. Hagel’s two purple hearts with two rip-roaring farts.

Shorter Mark Steyn
Not-Profitable Review
“Containing Hagel”

• Not only is Chuck Hagel a wimpy, antisemitic, mullah-coddling traitor, he’s also a retard.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

Perfesser Corncob instructs the hayseeds on proper gender roles. Surprise, surprise: those who resist the grand liberal project of the pussification of the western male — a giant pink floral-scented Death Star, as it were, aiming its menstrual and moody superlazer directly at the testicles of virtuous keyboard kommandos — will be rewarded with moar seks:

the guys who do the most lawn work, car repair, driving and bill-paying – traditional men’s jobs – who have the most sex in marriage, the study suggests. The same is true for women who do the most traditional female housework, according to the study published in the February issue of American Sociological Review. . . .

In other words, the study concludes: “Men or women may, in essence, be turned on (however indirectly) when partners in a marriage do more gender-traditional work.”

Also, too: Running with the metaphor..

Above: ‘This is Red Six, standing by.’

Whenever I do the blog thing, after a while — and it’s happening again — I inevitably get sucked into an Althousian vortex of distracting bugfuckery and I end up with a half dozen incomplete drafts; not, I think, because I have ADHD but because, unlike George W. Bush, I’m curious about too many things. So many psychopaths fascinate, are fascinating.

I was gonna complete a piece on how wingnuts suddenly love Europe — first because of austerity and now because formerly cheese-eating surrender monkeys are bombing the shit out of Mali — but then I saw an article in the Slimes about how the DOJ is contesting Anheuser-Busch’s acquisition of Modelo. Oh, I thought, that totally reminds me of a great blog-fossil, Oligopoly Watch, now sadly dead; I chased its ghost to webarchive, found the goodies I was looking for.
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