Shorter Scottie Hughes
Clownhall.com
“Why Every Responsible American Should Turn Their Daughter to a Man”
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Shorter Max Boot
Commentardy
“U.S. Headed for a Hollow Military?”
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Norman Podhoretz, the silliest living neoconartist since the late Irving Kristol left this Earth for the fiery fink tank of hell, recently sat down with Peter Robinson and Bernard Lewis for a chat aboard the post-election National Review Cruise of Resentment. One thing to know about Poddy is that he hasn’t changed since the 1970s; every piece he writes or interview he gives will convey the following themes: America and Israel are beseiged by a monolithic foe, liberals within the West always backstab the virtuous neocons who want to send other people’s children overseas to fight the enemy, and that Poddy has personally suffered deeply for his courageous advocacy through the years at the hands of liberals who’ve said mean things about him but history will prove him right in the end.
Transcript and snark below the fold; I apologize for the length; especially insane Pod phrases in bold to ease skimming.
Read the rest of this entry »
Shorter Matt K. Lewis
The Daily Cholera
“How conservatives and liberals enforce pundit conformity”
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
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Shorter Michelle Malkin:
“Suicidal GOP senators join open-borders Dems for Shamnesty Redux”
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While GOP leaders push amnesty, Dems rope more immigrants into welfare state”
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Mona Charen and Mrs. Norman Podhoretz on Uncommon Knowledge, as taped on the post-election National Review failboat:
At about 16:55 or so into the vid Charen channels David “Donner Party” Frum and spews the following:
It is economically possible to raise children with just a mother in the home, and we see this throughout Western Europe, we see it in other countries and we see it here. Unless, I guess, there’s that lash of necessity, that fear of real privation, people will make poor decisions about their families; and one of the jobs of conservatives (it seems to me) is to argue strenuously for doing what’s best for the well-being of women and their children — is marriage.
The whole thing so far is chock full of crazy, but Charon the Ferrywoman is in especially fine form here because she is showing how the original ideologies of the modern wingnut movement, libertarianism and social conservatism (fanatical religiosity), naturally flowed together into a fusionist river of awfulness. Make the people suffer economically, improve their characters, save their souls.
Macho retired crusader General Jerry Boykin hilariously confides to Chris Wallace that allowing women in combat roles would humiliate him “as a man,” because of, umm, “personal hygiene” issues:
“Now, as a man who has been there and as a man who has some experience in those kinds of units, I certainly don’t want to be in that environment with a female because it’s degrading and humiliating enough to do your personal hygiene and the other normal functions among your teammates.
Killing or converting Muslims is one thing; taking a piss or shitting with chicks around? Too scary! But of course nothing new. As retired United States Air Force colonel Martha McSally (as quoted in the Crooks & Liars piece) put it, “men and women have been serving together for years.” So “the privacy argument [is] a ‘red herring.'” To which General Boykin would no doubt reply ‘exactly, hehindeed’ because that monthly, as it were, red herring is the source of the other implied objection in Boykin’s and so many other masculine fossils’ resistance to integration. The thought that a comrade in arms might have to change her tampon saps morale and might as well signal surrender to the enemy. Next thing you know these moon-cycled, oozing pseudosoldiers will be replacing kevlar with Chantilly lace and tastefully arrange scented candles rather than set claymore mines. How are soldiers like the General supposed to kill a raghead if there’s an all-powerful, disarming vagina nearby?
Roy strikes comedy gold written by a contributor to Mrs. Perfesser Corncob’s Basement O’Randroids:
Forgive me if this is the wrong place to put this.
But this is an observation after using Okcupid futility for a few years now. Pretty much every single women on the site is a liberal who doesn’t want to date conservatives. (They have a match question for this)
Even women who are Ayn Rand fans. Even women who are hard core Christians, anti-abortion, anti-sex before marriage, etc, etc, etc
The few exceptions are “centrists” who don’t want to date conservatives.
What gives? Is it just the web site? Are most women who lean conservative already married? Are women just more prone to be liberal?
I’ve probably always known it but my recent return to wingnutology has confirmed it: For the sad and sexually frustrated denizens of Battlestar Conservatardia, All of This Has Happened Before and All of This Will Happen Again:
Millions of Women Have Been Indoctrinated to Not Fuck Me
By Dirk Wade
Finally, somebody said it. The so-called “modern” woman is a frigid ice-bitch who hates men. Hat tip to the ol’ Perfesser for having the cojones to open up this can of worms, big time. Preach it, brother!
[Pause to note the expert interpretation by Sadlynaut D.A.’s old blog mate Mr. Wade and indeed Parrotline itself, a treasure of a blog fossil.]
That Instapundit post is full of sexual FAIL, too. I suppose if there’s any difference between then and now it’s the average fapulent wingnut’s perception of the number of women, poisoned by liberalism and identity politics, who cruelly condemn brave sofa samurai to a life of masturbatory squalor. Then it was probably most women but now it seems as if all women of a certain age not already married are repulsed if not revolted by conservative masculinity. The window has slammed shut, yet through it male winguttia can see that objects of their frustration not only hook up with liberal d00dz (or worse, other women!) but also swing elections for the Kenyan Antichrist. The most they can hope for apart from starbursting on the couch to the Moose Queen* is that wingnut welfare will provide an occasional convention photo-op whereby there might be a thrilling brush against Pam Geller’s sideboob or a chance to see Ann Coulter’s adams apple up close while she signs a soon-to-be-crusty eight by ten. Too bad so sad but then as so many conservatives say, this is the Age of Austerity.
A team of….scientists say new tests on comatose former Prime Minister Ariel Sharon show significant brain activity.
What General Sharon of Sabra and Shatila gains, Pam Gellar continues to lose. Here are a few Shorters to demonstrate:
Above: Shalom nom nom!
“30 Months? John Kiriakou should have gotten 30 years for treason for highly classfied leaks”
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Above: Reversal of Fartune
Ace’s bizarre conflation of masculinity with political identity or, at least, with political success has gone from one extreme to the other, yet has stayed the same. Remember the old days when Bush was King, Ace was the most macho sort of Joker, and liberals were ugly queens who took it in the ass, their bacon and play-doh bits aquiver and pendulous breasteses “clattering” like bags of sand? Time and electoral fortune have apparently changed all that. Gone is the ass-kicking Ace, and he no longer frets that homos might masturbate to pictures of his winsome and rugged good looks, a younger, pudgier George Lucas with his head caught in a trash compactor. Though his tone is still resolutely “fuck you,” he identifies no longer with the (albeit frustrated) fucker but with the “weaker” fuckee:
[L]eftism is a different beast. Leftism considers concerns of process to be a weakness, and [sic] indulgence for sissies and the faint-hearts; the only thing that matters — the only thing that should be a concern for the properly-masculine, properly-indoctrinated New Man of the Left is outcomes.
Any tactic, fair or foul, is permissible in the quest for the Leftist State.
Now, until recently, liberalism had at least tried to give some lip service, and perhaps some actual consideration, to the faggy notions of process, fairness, access, and such.
But no longer. The press is actually not more nakedly liberal now; in fact, it’s never been more illiberal, at least not since some press organizations romanticized fascism, Naziism, and socialist dictatorship in the tumultuous years of the thirties.