Sadly, No!

One of the more remarkable aspects of Liberal Fascism is that Jonah admits quite openly throughout the book that he has no idea what the hell he’s talking about. Witness this little nugget in which he explains to everyone how wrong, wrong, wrong they are about Hitler being a right-winger:

You got that? Everyone thinks Hitler was a right-winger just because they don’t understand what left and right really mean! In fact, Jonah admits that the terms get “increasingly slippery” the more you try to define them!

Of course, that doesn’t stop Jonah from forthrightly labeling the second chapter of his book…

…does it?

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Progress in Iraq, Gays Hardest Hit

• Persecution of teh gays in Iraq is further proof that the United States is winning.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.

Okay, I know that a shorter should just be a shorter,* but more must be said about Lopez’s odious post, which starts with this.

You know the security situation is better in Iraq when the New York Times can start worrying about gay night life in Iraq.

To hear Lopez tell it, the New York Times article is worrying about the paucity of gay discos in Baghdad, or perhaps it’s about the absence of trendy little bistros catering to a gay clientele. But let’s click through that link, and see what kind of night life the article is talking about:

As is true throughout the Middle East, men have always been publicly affectionate here.

But, at least until recently, Mohammed and many of his gay friends went one step further, slipping into lovers’ houses late at night. And, until the American invasion, they said, Iraqi society had quietly accepted them.

That was pre-invasion; this is now:

They described an underground existence, eked out behind drawn curtains in a dingy safe house in southwestern Baghdad. Five people share the apartment — four gay men and one woman, who says she is bisexual. They have moved six times in the last three years, just ahead, they say, of neighborhood raids by Shiite and Sunni death squads. Even seemingly benign neighborhood gossip can scare them enough to move.

So, prior to the invasion the gay “night life” was sneaking into your lover’s house, whereas now the “night life” is living in a safe house and moving every six months or so to escape death squads.

I will venture that K-Lo probably knows little of night life (other than perhaps watching infomercials for 4-way food choppers at 2 a.m.), but even she must know that referring to the Times piece as “worrying about gay night life” is ridiculous. It’s like referring to an article on roadside IEDs in Baghdad as a guide to the city’s fireworks stands.

* Gavin adds: But a good cigar is a smoke.

Much as James Taylor can’t refuse to play ‘Fire and Rain,’ Jonah Goldberg’s Liberal Fascism just wouldn’t be a Goldberg joint without a pivotal phrase like this:

You know you’re watching a master when he makes it look this easy. “Evidence,” he’s saying, “Of my foolhardiness and arrogance is once again falling wetly upon me like a hail of eggs flung from on high. I believe it only strengthens my point.”

[We’ll be back in a bit with more.]

Update: There goes a big ol’ egg indeed.

Oh Jonah… Jonah, no you didn’t… you didn’t just say th…

Man, those wacky liberals, ironically calling the Klan “American fascists!” Wherever do they get those zany ideas???

Erm…

Uh…

Oop. Hee.

Jonah, you really might want to start Googling around a bit before you claim that the KKK has been dubbed ‘ironically’ fascist by the Left. This stuff isn’t very hard to find.

Oh, this is good:

Chasm widens between rich and poor in U.S.

NEW YORK: The increase in incomes of the top 1 percent of Americans from 2003 to 2005 exceeded the total income of the poorest 20 percent of Americans, data in a new report by the Congressional Budget Office show.

The poorest fifth of households had total income of $383.4 billion in 2005, while just the increase in income for the top 1 percent came to $524.8 billion, a figure 37 percent higher.

The total income of the top 1.1 million households was $1.8 trillion, or 18.1 percent of the total income of all Americans, up from 14.3 percent of all income in 2003. The total 2005 income of the 3 million individual Americans at the top was roughly equal to that of the bottom 166 million Americans, analysis of the report showed.

[…]

At every income level, Americans had more income, after adjusting for inflation in 2005, than in 2003, but the increases ranged from almost imperceptible for the poor to modest for the middle class and largest for those at the top.

On average, incomes for the top 1 percent of households rose by $465,700 each, or 42.6 percent after adjusting for inflation. The incomes of the poorest fifth rose by $200, or 1.3 percent, and the middle fifth increased by $2,400 or 4.3 percent.

Have a good time going to work tomorrow, guys! Take comfort in knowing that your hard work is helping to create the greatest income disparity between rich and poor seen in this country since just before the Great Depression. And remember how a rising tide lifts all boats — except for the ones it completely swamps.

ABOVE LEFT: Francisco Nava
ABOVE RIGHT: Professor Robert George

You might remember what Professor Robert George, an anti-gay right-wing crank who teaches at Princeton, had to say when he was interviewed by the National Review on the Terri Schiavo case:

They want to provide the therapy that many medical people who have observed Terri, whether at the bedside or by videotape, believe can help her. No one expects a full recovery, but it may be possible for her to make genuine progress.

Wrong.

But you probably don’t remember what Professor Robert George had to say about the injuries of conservative Princeton student Francisco Nava, who claimed to have been beaten by two masked men because of his conservative viewpoints:

“Those of us who saw him at the emergency room find it difficult to believe he could have done this himself. The physical manifestations were too evident, too severe,” Mr. George said.

Wrong again!

Here’s another classic sentence from Liberal Fascism:

But why stop there, Jonah? Genghis Khan was also a fascist to be sure! Didn’t you ever research his proposal to create a universal hordecare system that eerily mirrors the single-payer schemes that LIEberals love today? Or how about Hannibal and his wicked army of Elephascists? Do you not see how allowing pachyderms into the military darkly foreshadows today’s crypto-Nazi animal rights troopers?

Above: Fascism lurks everywhere

(Will have more goodies as I read ’em.)

UPDATE: Ruh-roh! Actor212 has spotted YET ANOTHER FASCIST in our midst:

Jesus was a fascist. He believed in solving poverty.

ZOMG CHRISTOFASCISM LIVES!!11!!

UPDATE:

Jonah goes on to note that people who are concerned with health issues aren’t fascist per se, but rather that people who want to ban trans fats merely have fascist tendencies.

Now, being a weirdo left-libertarian hybrid myself, I’m against regulating things such as trans fats, cigarettes and other unhealthy products that people should have the right to consume if they so choose. But do-gooder liberals who want to ban cigarettes or potato chips just aren’t fascists. They’re not even distantly related to fascists. No, I think of fascism as something more like this:

WHY IRAQ?

So how does all this, or the humble attempt at a history lesson of my last column, justify tearing down the Baghdad regime? Well, I’ve long been an admirer of, if not a full-fledged subscriber to, what I call the “Ledeen Doctrine.”

I’m not sure my friend Michael Ledeen will thank me for ascribing authorship to him and he may have only been semi-serious when he crafted it, but here is the bedrock tenet of the Ledeen Doctrine in more or less his own words: “Every ten years or so, the United States needs to pick up some small crappy little country and throw it against the wall, just to show the world we mean business.”

Starting wars simply to demonstrate national strength is about a billion times more fascist than some namby-pamby bureaucrat telling you not to super-size your fries. Jesus Christ, I’ve only read 19 pages of this blasted book and I already want to throw my genitals into a deep-frier just to take my mind away from the mental anguish it’s causing me. Pray for Bradrocket.

Above: Francisco “Bonky” Nava

---

Thesis:

DEATH THREATS AT PRINCETON:

Four officers of the Anscombe Society and a prominent conservative politics professor received threatening emails Wednesday evening from off-campus email addresses.

The five individuals received identical messages telling them they would “suffer,” ordering them to “shut the fuck up” and declaring that “you are not welcome here.” “We will destroy you,” the message said.

Though the message did not explicitly mention the Anscombe Society, the four students who received emails were Anscombe vice president Jonathan Hwang ’09, president Kevin Staley-Joyce ’09, former president Sherif Girgis ’08 and administrative committee chair Francisco Nava ’09. Politics professor Robert George — who has publicly supported conservative causes, including the Anscombe Society’s goal of promoting chastity — also received the message.

I guess it’s part of the growing climate of fear in America.

UPDATE: More here:

Francisco Nava ’09 was physically attacked by two men in Princeton Township Friday evening, sustaining a concussion but no other serious injuries. The assault comes on the heels of several threatening messages recently sent to Nava, apparently in connection with his involvement with the socially conservative Anscombe Society.

I wonder if this will get the kind of attention that politically-reversed assaults would get?*

Antithesis:

Nava ’09 admits to fabricating assault, threatening e-mails

Francisco Nava ’09 has admitted to fabricating an alleged assault on him that he said occurred Friday evening and also to sending threatening emails to himself, other members of the Anscombe Society and prominent conservative politics professor Robert George, Princeton Township Police said today.

“He fabricated the story,” Det. Sgt. Ernie Silagyi said.

Nava was released to Public Safety and charges “have not been filed pending further investigation,” according to a statement from Township Police.

Synthesis:

Above: Justin “Punchy” Zatkoff

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I expect he’ll be punished severely, possibly expelled, as he ought to be.

A pity universities don’t deliver such punishments against lefties who concoct fake hate crimes against themselves.

Indeed, one would hope that the case of Justin Zatkoff would serve as an example to them.

* Reynolds later noted the hoax.

[Hanx! J–]

Thanks to a certain Christmas elf who sent us this early present:

Personally, I think the chapter about liberals being seKKKret racists will be the most LOL-worthy, although “The 1960s: Fascism Takes to the Streets” should be good for giggles as well.

Additionally, I can’t believe the good Dr. Loadpants somehow managed to stretch this nonsense to over 400 pages. I wonder how many of them are crayon drawings of Hitlery KKKliNtoN!!!11! in combat boots (prediction: no less than 265).

More below the fold.

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Above: Steyn, thrilled; totters from the explosive force of
Jonah Goldberg’s spectacular fart-lighting escapades.

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Horrible Wingnutien Mark Steyn, Canada’s Leading Asshole, has come out of his igloo just long enough to kick the tires on his moose and throw a snowball at environmentalist ‘fascists’:

The earth is your fuhrer [Mark Steyn]

Here’s one for Jonah’s Liberal Fascism files. Bigshot eco-panjandrum lays down the law:

Hillman, senior fellow emeritus at the Policy Studies Institute, says carbon rationing is the only way to ensure that the world avoids the worst effects of climate change. And he says that the problems caused by burning fossil fuels are so serious that governments might have to implement rationing against the will of the people.

“When the chips are down I think democracy is a less important goal than is the protection of the planet from the death of life, the end of life on it,” he says. “This has got to be imposed on people whether they like it or not.”

Uh-huh, what contempt of democracy this heavily-qualified truthful statement shows! Sweep away those Cheetos crumbs, Pantload, and copy this one down for the ages!

Actually, let’s look at the environmental wonk’s words a bit more closely. “When the chips are down” allows a contingency: if it comes to biocide vs. democracy, then democracy has to give. Does Steyn really mean that he would sacrifice all life on Earth for democracy? Of course not (as we shall see, it takes considerably less than all that). Also, that part about carbon-rationing in such a scenario being forced if it is unpopular? Well, who’s to say that it wouldn’t be popular? Ah, that’s right: Wingnuts like Mark Steyn who want to fly all over the world on Conrad Black’s dime, harassing flight attendants, just to give speeches to genocidal troglodytes on how Teh Muslims mean to out-breed the Great White West. Sure, a small minority of clueless fucktards will gladly keep blowing gasoline through their Humvees even in the face of Planet-death, just as pretty much the same idiots would have gladly blown up the world during the Cold War (and almost did), just to prove another bunch of idiots’ ideology incorrect. But such people ain’t a majority; they just have (wingnut welfare) money, power, and gigantic pie-holes through which so much polluting propaganda spews daily.

Perhaps it would be helpful to know Steyn’s definition of “democracy” before we can credit him for being its stalwart defender. For Latin Americans, Steyn’s “democracy” means an embracing of Reaganomics. For ‘healthy [democratic] societies’ within the Anglosphere, it’s “how well you can insulate yourself from [the] underclass.” So far so bad. Then there’s Iraq, about whose constitution Steyn enthused (calling it superior to the EU’s) and about which he further said: “In a year’s time [this was April 2003], Iraq will be, at a bare minimum, the least badly-governed state in the Arab World and, at best, pleasant, civilized and thriving.” And speaking of potentials, he likes China’s prospects. On the other hand, democracy like that practiced by Spain and France just totally sucks (Iraq’s is far superior to France’s). This is a pretty contemptible view of democracy, all right.

But let’s go deeper into the archive. Oh, there it is:

John Kerry, in quite the most stupid observation of his campaign, insisted that Bush should have sent in the troops to Haiti to prop up President Aristide – or “Father Aristide”, as Kerry likes to call him, defrocking notwithstanding – because the Holy Father was “democratically elected”. After a fashion. But so what? […] Fetishising Aristide’s “election” appeals to Kerry’s reflexive belief that government is the be all and end all. But it isn’t.

Then there’s his fulsome praise of Augusto Pinochet. Now, who is it exactly that shows contempt for democracy?

(I would say that someone should sweep aside the granola crumbs and save this for the “Wingnut Fascism” file, but the title’s a redundancy and a book of such notes would run the length of the fucking Encyclopedia Britannica.)