If you love dogs (and those who know me know that I do) and if you’ve been thinking of buying Rescuing Sprite, a dog book by conservative communist Mark Levin, all you need to do is saunter over to America’s Shittiest Website™ and read K-Lo’s review. Her review will completely quash any temptation you might have to buy that book next time you see a copy in Border’s. I guaran-effin-tee it.
K-Lo’s review goes downhill pretty quickly:
In Rescuing Sprite, Mark offers a gift that crosses party lines — a tribute to man’s best friend and an appreciation for the gift of unconditional love and protection of innocents.
OMG, did she just work in a reference to abortion? She did. She can’t even write a review of a dog book without turning the subject to zygoticide. I don’t know whether to hoot with derision or bow down in abject admiration for such single minded, highly focused wingnuttery.
And if you’re skeptical that K-Lo would give five stars to a book that actually “crosses party lines,” well, you would be completely justified:
Rescuing Sprite is a look at the softer side of Rush and Sean Hannity.
After first reading about the “softer side of Rush,” I had to drill a hole in my skull and flush my frontal lobe with a 60-40 mixture of Clorox and grain alcohol to more-or-less purge the image of a white, pimply, gelatinous Lim-butt from my mind. (If you need to do the same, I recommend trying a 50-50 mixture instead; it might sting a little less.)
I recently saw Sprite on display, up front and prominent, at a New York Barnes and Noble as a “staff recommendation” — usually an honor reserved for, say, The Communist Manifesto. It did, however have, the disclaimer “dogs don’t discuss politics.”
Wait, I assume the liberal fascist book clerks would be recommending Mein Kampf, not The Communist Manifesto. Oh, but wait, that’s probably fascist too.
Rescuing Sprite probably isn’t fascist, but if you want to read the best dog book ever, and one without touching anecdotes about Oxycontin Rush, ignore K-Lo’s advice and read My Dog Tulip instead. Or you might buy How to Raise a Jewish Dog, which is authored by commenter Mr. Wonderful and which apparently involves telling your dog how it hurts you when he does the wrong thing and comparing him to other dogs who behave properly so that the guilt will force him into being a good dog.
