“Why are the letters ‘NIG’ on the child’s pajamas?”
Above: Noted onion ring theorist
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.
The YouTube war continues apace. Gavin got down and dirty and pulled out not just Dschingis Khan (with subtitles!) but Sparks (featuring Jane Wiedlin), too. Oh, the paaaaain. Balloon Juice has turned to WMD’s with the deployment of John Cage.
…We expect you to yabba-dabba-DIE!
The BC-52’s – ‘Bedrock Twitch’ (1:27)
Oh yes, and this is for you, Balloon Juice:
Philip Michael Thomas – ‘Just the Way I Planned It’ (3:49)
Update: Upon reflection, what we need here this evening is some Tom of Finland mixed with some Oompa-Loompas.
Spandau Ballet – ‘Musclebound’ (3:50)
Ah yes, that’s a little better.
Thanks to the reader who sent me the following photo. If this isn’t central to Jonah’s point, I can’t imagine what is:
Shorter Confederate Yankee:
Barack Obama and the Politics of Personal Distraction
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.
Hillary Ad: Who Do You Want Answering The White House Phone At 3 a.m.?
Hillary Clinton has a new ad in Texas, making what is perhaps her most forceful argument yet against Barack Obama on national security:
[phone ringing]
“It’s 3 a.m., and your children are safe and asleep,” the announcer says. “But there’s a phone in the White House, and it’s ringing — something’s happening in the world. Your vote will decide who answers that call.”
“Hello? No, ma’am, I’m not aware of a Hugh Jass on staff here. Listen, could you call
the switchboard in the morning? …Uh, yes, I assume the refrigerator is running.”
Barack Obama makes a good case for why Hillary Clinton would be a better president:
Obama said he less inclined to give in to partisanship.
“Her natural inclination is to draw a picture of Republicans as people who need to be crushed and defeated,” the U.S. senator from Illinois said in a separate telephone interview with the newspaper.
“It’s not entirely her fault. She’s been the target of some unfair attacks in the past.”
See, that’s part of the reason why I think a Hillary presidency would, at the very least, provide us with years of comedy. For if she ever got elected to the White House, the Republicans would suddenly realize that they’d spent the past eight years endowing the executive branch with the power to conduct warrantless wiretapping on Americans, to override laws against torture and prisoner abuse and to detain American citizens indefinitely without charge. And at that point, they will rightly begin to freak the hell out.
As the Editors noted recently:
I’m not Hillary’s number one fan, but I’m sure she’d be a perfectly adequate President. Secretly, I’ve always believed – and I have absolutely zero evidence to back this up, of course – that deep down Hillary has a strategic reserve of white-hot hatred for Republicans and all their works and pomps, and once elected, she would finally be free to shed the go-along-get-along act and take hilarious, schadenfreudious revenge, which would be horrible and undemocratic and everything, but also be just desserts, and so kind of awesome.
Alas, because I have motives other than single-minded bloodthirsty revenge, I voted for Obama. I guess I’m just not fascist enough to be a true liberal.
William F. Buckley adds:
UPDATE: This is what I imagine Hillary would sing upon first setting foot in the Oval Office:
…Lost is the best show on tee-vee. If you’ve never seen it, get the first season on DVD in your Netflix queue. You’ll thank me for it.
William F. Buckley adds:
Eep:
This should fit in well with Bush’s other confident statements-o’-fact:
And of course…
Hold onto your wallets, friends. This economy’s headed straight down the dumper.
William F. Buckley adds:
Rick Perlstein is a widely-admired historian and a blogger of the first rank whose politics — and therefore, status as public figure — are beyond reproach. No one can accuse him of harboring reactionary sentiment, yet his eulogy of the dreadful William F. Buckley drives me to bugfucky distraction, because he confuses what is unimportant in the context of politics — sympathy toward X-figure’s personal and private comity, even generosity — with what is important — objective critique of X-figure’s public speech, actions, beliefs.
WFB was privately and professionally kind to Perlstein; in loyal reciprocation to this kindness, Perlstein forgets his duty by extolling the “good” private Buckley — who is, after all, an unimportant figure to the audience — while mostly ignoring the bad (no quotes because it is the gospel truth) public Buckley, who is of extreme importance as a leading figure of a destructive, demented political movement that has had a disastrous effect on the country. This, from a public intellectual like Perlstein, will not do. Everyone has their vices and virtues; no human’s character is thoroughly black or white. But in the context of public figures, private virtue can’t redeem public villainy (the reverse also mostly holds true: private depravity can’t blacken public goodness). I don’t give a shit if Ronnie was a good husband to Nancy; can’t care whether Nixon was affectionate to Checkers or truly loved Tricia and Julie and Pat; consider WFB’s private generosity and good manners toward his friends pretty irrelevant.
