ABOVE: A speculative rendering of Robin of Berkeley based on a forensic analysis
of her blog posts.
Congratulations, Sadlynauts! You have successfully hijacked this year’s TallVenti Grande Conservative Blogress Costco Diva* competition run each year by America’s Dumbest Homosexual™ The concerted voting effort by our gay abortionist commie commenters left Robin with 1,718 votes, trouncing Clarice Feldman who came in second with a mere 913 votes.
The best part of all this is not that Robin won because we all went and voted for the batshit craziest of the lot (and it takes mucho grande blogress mojo to be more batshit crazy than Michelle Malkin and the Blogger Who Dresses Up Like A Nun And Says A Thousand Rosaries For Healthcare Reform Repeal). The best part is that America’s Dumbest Homosexual™ has conferred his little dime-store tiara on a homophobic nutcase.
For example, Robin calls Berkeley “Lesbian Central” and railed against gay marriage because it will cause society to descend into “anarchy and mob rule” She also ranted about an art exhibit with a “homosexual vibe.”
But the absolute bestest of all, is Robin’s now classic post where an alleged leering glance from an alleged lesbian at Curves drove Robin into a full-on case of gay panic
I was changing in the locker room when one of the women in the class, Judy, stared at me lasciviously. I automatically turned away and got the heck out of there. My reaction was instinctual; I didn’t have to think about it.
I felt unnerved, repelled. Guys had looked at me that way. And if I liked them, then I relished the attention. But a girl eyeing at me that way? That made me very uncomfortable.
Robin doesn’t just have issues, she has a lifetime fucking subscription.
Anyway, lest our efforts go unrecognized, I will be sending a congratulatory email to Robin, with a copy to America’s Dumbest Homosexual™ Somebody might want to drop a link in the comments section over at The Gay Patriot Quisling. Naturally, I’ve been banned.
*My most profound apologies for this atrocious Bellini pun.
Oh, puhleez, Thers, do you think that the power of the SadlyNauts can be extinguished by chicken poop? Not so much, if by not so much you mean not at all. I was prepared earlier this week to bring out our big guns, but it would violate the conventions of war to retaliate with such force to such a lame volley. So I see your chicken poop and raise you one Pomplamoose — the untalented, drug-addled duo who reinforce their indie cred by singing Jingle Bells in Hyundai ads — here providing one of the worst recorded performances of one of the worst songs ever written.
America’s Dumbest Homosexual™ — B. Daniel Blatt — has trotted out again his annual, and oddly-named, Grande Conservative Blogress Diva contest. And, no, a “Grande Conservative Blogress Diva” is not a new pumpkin spice mocha drink at Starbucks. It’s a contest in which readers — that means you, SadlyNauts! — get to select as the winner of the, er, coveted title “a strong woman who commands the respect of gay male conservatives.” Dan oddly adds that the Grande Conservative Blogress Diva need “not be conservative herself,” although all of the available candidates are pretty much so far right that they have all, at one time or another, accused Concerned Women for America of being a lesbian Bolshevik front group.
Really, the list is like a Sadly, No! hit parade of our favorite wingnutresses (to follow Dan’s odd — and ogress-inspired — feminization coinage). There is Pam Meister, who once lamented that hate crime laws were passed to honor a fag rather than those poor Duke lacrosse players who were the real victims of hate. And Elizabeth Scalia, the pathetic nun impostress who once said that condoms, not bankers, were the cause of the latest global economic crisis. Of course, the list also includes Professoress Winebox who thought that Obama put bombs on planes to help the Democrats last November. Not to mention the Middle-Aged White Woman From North Carolina Who Pretends Be A Hip, African American Blogress Named Sistah Toldjah. And the InstaCrackeress, who once hatched a plot to leave snarky notes to waitpersons instead of tips if Obama was elected and has been dining on Snothchos ever since. Also, a personal fave Sassy Cassy Fiano is on the list.
But, of course, there is a relative newcomer on the list who is sitting in second place in the voting and needs a nudge over the top. It’s American Thinkeress Robin of Berkeley. Crazy Robin has provided hours of amusement here and, most recently, over at World O’Crap. Robin was recently featured here in I See Rude People: Robin Of Berkeley Edition and her touching Thanksgiving tribute where she reminded us that the best way to give thanks for your own blessings is to forget completely about the impoverished uninsured layabouts who were at fault for only having an untreated case cancer to give thanks for on that holiday.
The awesome power that is Sadly, No! has been brought to bear previously on the Mucho Grande Wingnut Blogress Fabulous Diva and Girlfriend contest with great success and party hats and fairy dust for everyone! So, let’s do it againand assure that Robin is pushed over the top by a wild pack of Bolshevik commie-loving gay abortionists and their enablers.
Thers lobbed a hand grenade but it was a dud. This should finish him off once and for all. (A word of warning, Thers — if you manage to survive Ai~n, we still have Mini-Moni’s “Telephone Ring Ring Ring” in our arsenal!)
Even though large tracts of the blogosphere and many old and famous websites have fallen or may fall into the grip of Thers and all the odious apparatus of liberal fascist rule, we shall not flag or fail.
We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in Eschaton
we shall fight on Twitter and in the comments sections,
we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our website, whatever the cost may be,
we shall fight on desktops,
we shall fight on the laptop screens,
we shall fight in smartphones and in the iPads,
we shall fight in the RSS feeds; WE SHALL NEVER SURRENDER!
[The name of the group “performing” this video is Sonseed. Think about it for a moment. VSR.]
Silly, foolish Thers Jong-Il wants to start a Christmas YouTube war and has launched a Taepo-Dong missile at us which, sadly for him, simply fizzled in mid-air. He will now be destroyed.
The rules of this game are very simple. We will list three people and the participants will have to say which of them they would a) kill; b) marry; or c) fuck. (Sample: kill inappropriate use of semi-colons, marry alphabetical enumeration, fuck parenthetical addenda.)
