Posted on February 8th, 2011 by D. Aristophanes
Taquito!!! Mosquito!!! Banana!!! Hannah Montana!!!
Posted on February 8th, 2011 by Tintin
Shorter Rep. Peter King (R-NY), quoted in the New York Times:
Muslims to Be Congressional Hearings’ Main Focus
- To include Neo-Nazis along with Muslims in my hearings on terrorism would be completely unfair to the Neo-Nazis.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Posted on February 7th, 2011 by Tintin
ABOVE: Michael “Eyebrows” Walsh
Shorter Michael Walsh, New York Post
Ft. Hood’s victims: sacrificed for PC1
- No. Muslims. In. Our. Military. Ever.2,3
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
1So far no one has ever had to be sacrificed for a Mac. (NY Post: home of the country’s worst editors)
2Because only Mooslim soldiers kill their fellow soldiers.
3If you get off the boat, be sure to visit this little pile of rotten mangoes in Walsh’s piece:
“Political correctness,” which literally seeks to make certain speech unthinkable, should have no place in a free society.
America stopped being free the minute people couldn’t call black folks ni**ers anymore.
Posted on February 5th, 2011 by Tintin
ABOVE: Lloyd “Double Stuf” Marcus
Shorter Lloyd Marcus, Ruhnoo Muhrka
Black American Dreads Black History Month
- February should be White History Month instead of Black History Month because white people were responsible for every advancement of the Negro race.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Posted on February 2nd, 2011 by D. Aristophanes
Let’s shamelessly steal Roy’s comment game based on this ridiculous drivel from NRO’s Michael Walsh:
Anyway, when you look at the course of revolution in the modern era, it’s always the same-old same-old:
* Czar Nicky — Kerensky — Lenin
* Kaiser Willie — Weimar Republic — Hitler
* Shah Pahlavi — Mr. Bani Sadr — Khomeini
Here are a few examples to start us off:
Frankie Roosevelt — Jameson Carter — Barrold Obama
Maria Anna Schicklgruber — Alois Hitler — Hitler
The Gilgameshinator — King Hank the VIII — Joey Stalin
Hitler — ‘Worse Than’ — Glenn Greenwald
Sojourner Truth — Civil War — White Chicks
Tamerlane — Fred Basset — Barcodes
Yesterday — Last Week — The Day After Tomorrow
Posted on February 2nd, 2011 by Tintin
This fellow in the video, Pastor Bob Nelson from the Merced First Baptist Church, seems quite pleased with himself (as does the women who makes a brief appearance in the background) for coming up with an incomprehensible argument against gay marriage that has something to do with how you figure out whether a $20 bill is counterfeit. That, says Preacher Bob, is the same way you figure out whether a gay marriage is counterfeit. Apparently if you try to pay for your gas with a gay marriage the Secret Service will arrest you for trying to pass a counterfeit bill. From this we can only conclude that gay marriage should be made illegal.
If your gaydar just went whoop-whoop-whoop, you’re not alone.
[h/t Evan Hurst]
Posted on January 31st, 2011 by Tintin
ABOVE: Mike McDaneil, Junior Confederate Wanker in Training
Shorter Mike “Junior Goober” McDaniel, Confederate Wanker:
The Unintended (or Not) Consequences of Magazine Capacity “Restrictions”
- Here are my four killer (Can I say that?? LOL) arguments against imposing any restrictions on high-capacity magazines:
1. People will still commit mass carnage in parking lots with single shot, breech loading rifles and swords
2. The difference between killing 15 and 31 people is tactically negligible.
3. Our Founding Fathers specifically intended to guarantee a constitutional right to high-capacity pistol magazines.
4, Once the government takes away our high-capacity magazines, the next thing you know they will take away our submachine guns and shoulder-fired rocket launchers.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Posted on January 30th, 2011 by Tintin
ABOVE: Mullah Al-Bozell
Shorter Mullah Ba-Rent Al-Bozell, Clown Hall:
The “Good News” of Gay Teens
- The queers are in your teevee set,1 turning your children into homos.2
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
1The queers are also in your Clown Hall, turning your wingnuts into homos. No, seriously. Right on the page with Mullah Al-Bozell’s diatribe about favorable treatment of gay teens on television, there is an ad, I kid you not, for gaydar.net — with a picture of hunky shirtless guys, touching each other and getting ready, one must imagine, to put their naughty bits into unbiblical places. Here’s a pdf capture of the entire page, and below is a partial screenshot (with a blow-up insert of the gaydar ad for your viewing pleasure.)
2This seemed like a fair question to ask Mullah Al-Bozell:
And here’s another question for his buttboy Timofey Graham:
Posted on January 29th, 2011 by Tintin
ABOVE: A speculative rendering of Robin of Berkeley based on a forensic analysis
of her blog posts.
Shorter Robin of Bezerkley, A Licensed Psychotherapist, The American Thinker
Stanley Ann Dunham and the Left’s Exploitation of Women
- The reason why we are saddled with a Communist mulatto as President is that Obama’s mother had a funny first name, which made her susceptible to Communist brainwashing, which is why she had sex with a Negro and gave birth to the Communist mulatto who later became our President.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™