Sadly, No!

G.A. Cerny highlights the Forrest Gump quality of Greg Easterbrook:

Greg Easterbrook isn’t always wrong. It’s just that when he’s right, it tends to be really obvious:

Continued here…

Die Neue 107.7, Stuttgart’s newest radio station (so they say) has a new advertising campaign here (not exactly work safe.) The best [?] part is that the picture is featured on billboard ads throughout the city, albeit in a slighlty edited form. The slogan? We have the rock. So check out the ad and if you don’t get it, we’re sure we can count on Pete M. to explain.

When World O’Crap caught Miss Marsala using antithesis in what can only be referred to as a very creative and unexpected way, Kerry apparently left a comment saying it was all a joke. Which is why we know that this too has to be a joke — and boy is it funny!

Even though the FCC and some offended activists are trying to pull Stern off the airwaves, for his loose tongue and vial actions… [Emphasis added]

Unless we can put a stop to vial actions, there is no longer any hope for America.

If Vice President Cheney said the bad word, I hope he apologizes to Senator Leahy, and to all that may have been in earshot.

A young girl’s hopes crushed. It’s truly sad.

WARNING: The quote below may be hazardous to your health. Reading it may require you to seek medical care. The Management cannot be held responsible. Ready?

Honey we’ve all witnessed the black as sin ceiling of the floor- overcrowded with nouns, adverbs, verbs, adjectives and exclamation points of innuendo’s, false accusations, and at times improper language.

Who will protect us from the exclamation points of innuendo’s? Maybe it’s time to call the President on his red bat phone? (Or see below.)

Edit: Corrected our correction of Miss Marsala’s “innuendo’s.” Which come to think of it means she likely had this in mind: Hello. My name is Innuendo Montoya. You killed my exclamation point. Prepare to die.

In the hope of distracting our loyal fans from the fact that once again this week we’ve been too lazy to put together a new Flash Animation, we offer this open thread as a token of, uh, nothing really.

Chat away and be witty for fuck’s sake.

The White House… gets emails:

Hello,
I have always wandered if there is a red phone located in the oval office like on the orignal Batman TV series and if there is what is it used for

Thank!

-Brandon

And this gem, all the more remarkable because it’s posted in a section of the web site that invites you to submit your question(s):

J. J. and Kathy from Cottonwood, AZ:
Happy Birthday Mr. President!
Our country is truly blessed to have such a compassionate and caring visionary leader.

Time now to see what an assortment of people who are definitely not the hottest new conservative writers on the web are writing about:

At elementropy, Retardo follows up on our post about children in Iraqi prisons with an excellent summary of related stories that had previously appeared in the press.

Frederick from Beat Bush Blog sends us a link to this “best of” compilation of Bush/Cheney slogans (1.7MB.)

Brad from Uncle Horn Head introduces us to “the other red vegetable.” (He also has his first audio post to celebrate his 500th post, and somehow he sounds strangely like Adam Yoshida. We keed, we keed!)

Weaseldog offers an intelligent answer to a stupid question asked by the Bush campaign.

Over at Intellectual [!] Conservative, Alan “The Hottest New Conservative Writer on the Web” Caruba is angry:

In mid-June there was a report of a poll of Iraqis commissioned by the Coalition Provisional Government in which more than half of Iraqis reportedly believed they would be safer if US troops left.

Well, when even the CPA hates America, what hope is there? Alan, however, has been able to find a good reason to reject that evidence:

I found myself wondering about the validity of the poll when I visited an Internet site where Iraqis can blog about what is happening in their lives and in their nation. If the site is any kind of an indicator, the poll is wrong.

Oh, he saw it on a web site! Well then, that is always good enough for us!

That?s why www.Iraqataglance.blogspot.com, is especially valuable to anyone trying to understand what is actually going on […]

The Internet site provides Iraqis the opportunity to express themselves and, of particular value to Americans, it is in English, a second language for many educated Iraqis. It is maintained by “AYS,” a dentist who lives in Baghdad and those who blog on it likewise identify themselves only by their initials.

Alan’s article is titled “What Real Iraqis Are Saying.” While we can’t vouch for you, our highly educated and freedom hating readers, we know that when we think about real Iraqis we always picture the ones who have internet access and can write in English. The other ones? Unreal friends, totally.

If common sense is any kind of indicator, the poll is wrong. […] If the US forces had withdrawn prior to the transfer or right after, the streets of Iraqi cities would have run red with the blood of its citizens. They know that.

Obviously Alan, they don’t. (i.e. Sadly, No!) Read more from Alan at his web site, the National Anxiety Center (motto: trying to scare the shit out of you since 1990,) where you can find out all about the United Nations, including:

Why Clinton Can’t Win
–Fred Barnes, writing in The New Republic, 1992.

Kerry Cannot Win
–Frank Salvato, The Rant.us, July 8, 2004.

Kerry L. Marsala is back. Unlike most of her colleagues at The Rant, she is not the hottest new conservative writer on the web. There’s nothing very exciting about her column (Fahrenheit 9/11 sucks) but we did enjoy the image used by her editors to complement her article, titled Will ‘America’s Heart & Soul’ Raise the Fahrenheit for Moore?.

Michelle Malkin works hard for her money:

The self-proclaimed Party of the Little People is rolling in cash, and Democrats are positively gloating. “The strength of the small donor has helped level the financial playing field with the Bush campaign,” Mary Beth Cahill, Sen. John Kerry’s campaign manager, crowed last week.

Just who are these “small donors” — these ordinary Americans, these average Joes and Janes, filling the Democratic Party’s coffers? [Emphasis added]

The rest of her column looks at four large contributors she describes as:

The pardon-pushing socialite. The Communist-coddling corporate sellout. The reckless Asian-American rainmaker. And the nicotine-stained heiress/almost-felon who keeps on giving

So was Mary Beth Cahill’s assertion totally worthless? Hmm:

So there’s a day’s work at TownHall: Ridicule a perfectly accurate assesment which you then “show” is “false” by picking four examples that support your “argument.”