1 out of 2 is always a good start

Over at Intellectual [!] Conservative, Alan “The Hottest New Conservative Writer on the Web” Caruba is angry:

In mid-June there was a report of a poll of Iraqis commissioned by the Coalition Provisional Government in which more than half of Iraqis reportedly believed they would be safer if US troops left.

Well, when even the CPA hates America, what hope is there? Alan, however, has been able to find a good reason to reject that evidence:

I found myself wondering about the validity of the poll when I visited an Internet site where Iraqis can blog about what is happening in their lives and in their nation. If the site is any kind of an indicator, the poll is wrong.

Oh, he saw it on a web site! Well then, that is always good enough for us!

That?s why www.Iraqataglance.blogspot.com, is especially valuable to anyone trying to understand what is actually going on […]

The Internet site provides Iraqis the opportunity to express themselves and, of particular value to Americans, it is in English, a second language for many educated Iraqis. It is maintained by “AYS,” a dentist who lives in Baghdad and those who blog on it likewise identify themselves only by their initials.

Alan’s article is titled “What Real Iraqis Are Saying.” While we can’t vouch for you, our highly educated and freedom hating readers, we know that when we think about real Iraqis we always picture the ones who have internet access and can write in English. The other ones? Unreal friends, totally.

If common sense is any kind of indicator, the poll is wrong. […] If the US forces had withdrawn prior to the transfer or right after, the streets of Iraqi cities would have run red with the blood of its citizens. They know that.

Obviously Alan, they don’t. (i.e. Sadly, No!) Read more from Alan at his web site, the National Anxiety Center (motto: trying to scare the shit out of you since 1990,) where you can find out all about the United Nations, including:

  • The UN intends to secure the power to tax all financial transactions and control the taxation policies of all nations!

    And yet they only used one exclamation point!!!

  • The UN already has control over major U.S. historical sites and natural wonders including the Statute of Liberty and Yellowstone National Park.

    Well, now that the UN controls the “natural wonder” that is the “Statute of Liberty,” clearly the terrorists have already won. Rest in Peace America.

     
  • Comments: 13

     
     
     

    Any column posted on a site called “Intellectual Conservative” is obviously a hoax. The hoax is confirmed by the author’s using an blogger who chooses to remain anonymous (presumably for safety reasons) as anecdotal evidence that Iraq is safe.

    Call me selfish, but when’s Putin’s whore-child.. you know, the retail manager.. gonna make a re-appearance?

     
     

    You’ve been to the dumpster without me! Three of the hottest new conservative writers, and all in one day!

    I feel so alone, now. In the style of Justin Darr I say unto you, stoppest thou Seb, for thy crueleth temptations leaveth mine heart laden witheth disappointment.

    –Brokenhearted RETARDO.

     
     

    Sometimes I see these crazy polls that show Dear Leader losing to that rich, baby-killing, out-of-touch-with-real-Americans Kerry, but I just go to freerepublic.com to get a more representative picture of what Americans actually think feel.

     
     

    Damn, I tried to strike through think, using a bracketed strike on one side and a bracketed /strike on the other, but it didn’t work. 🙁

     
     

    Call me selfish, but when’s Putin’s whore-child.. you know, the retail manager.. gonna make a re-appearance?

    Last week’s column was a big let down — let’s hope Saturday’s is better.

    Frederick: When they say HTML is allowed in the comments, we guess they don’t mean ALL HTML. And to think we’d told you by email how to do it!

     
     

    Since I am the Hottest conservative writer on the web, I feel it’s my duty to inform you that if you add up every single Iraqi blogger who feels the way whatever this guys name says they do on that one blog, there’s a very good chance it’s not greater than 2% (the percentage who want us there.)

    And a question for this idjit: When you say that the UN has control over the Statue of Liberty and Yellowstone, are you talking about them being World Heritage Sites? (Really, I’m asking!) Because if that’s what you mean, that’s just saying that it’s really, really bad to cause any damage to them. But, Dammit! We’re Americans! We can destroy any national treasures we want to!

     
     

    Seb, the Statue of Liberty no natural wonder? It took the Hudson River *eons* to carve it just so! What did you think, someone *made it* for us, someone from some weenie liberal Eurotrash country?

     
     

    Aha! So it’s the UN that controls Yellowstone. Do you think we could get them to get rid of those noisy snow mobiles?

    And how about importing some abominable snowmen? I think that would be keen.

     
     

    “intellectual conservative” is an oxymoron.

     
     

    Since I am the Hottest conservative writer on the web

    Yosef: unless you’re the hottest new conservative writer on the web, the sad truth is we don’t care what you think. Sorry.

     
     

    Well, I was the hottest young conservative writer on the internet up until last Friday. But you keep finding some many new ones, that I can’t keep that title. Damn you!

     
     

    I wonder if that wingnut asked Riverbend or Raed about Iraqi blogging?

    Ed

     
     

    I heard what “real” Iraquians were saying too. But is was all high-pitched and really really fast and it ran together and I coundn’t make heads or tails of it.

    But I’m sure if I DID understand it they would be saying something like “Thank your for liberating me. Don’t worry about the innocent civilians that died. Cost of doing business and all. And although I only get 15 minutes of electricity a day when it IS on it really makes me appreciate my good fortune.”

    This is probably what they are saying. Except when they make that clicking sound with their tounges. I couldn’t even begin to guess what that shit means.

     
     

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