Sadly, No!

Our Blindness

Never mind terrorists — we need to prepare ourselves for the next wave of the bubonic plague. Also, the Chinese invasion.

Idea stolen from busy, busy, busy, who stole it from Daniel Davies.

Looks like Brad Reed, of BradBlog 3000, is:

Montana rocks. There, I said it, OK? I love Montana.

Then again, he has his reasons:

Why? Because it’s like some grand social experiment where you take every paranoid, anti-social freakbag who can’t function in normal society and stick ’em together in one place just to see what happens.

And, if Wing Nut Daily is to be believed, this is what happens:

To be continued here…

Did you miss them the first time around?

The first time we mocked Justin Darr, someone posted:

JUSTIN IS RIGHT.NONE OF YOU ARE SHIT.YOU WONT TELL WHAT YOU THINK.YOU ARE ALL A BUNCH OF COWARDLY BITCHES.

Responding to one of our first Amber Pawlik posts, Bernard Chapin chimed in with:

AMBER HAS FAKE TITTIES!

Meanwhile, writing about Prussian Blue led to the following comment:

You liberals have had your day. Ours is coming, and you’d better get out of our way. Lynx and Lamb are only the beginning. Your kids will listen to ours, just as you listened to rap and hiphop.

The day when the Jewish fable of the Holocaust is regarded as inerrant scripture is nearly over. Your doctrines have been exposed as lies by evidence that will gain credibility every day, try as you will to deride it.

Back at The Dickification of the Western Female essay (brings back memories, doesn’t it?) someone is channeling Newt Gingrich’s spirit:

Christina, look between your legs and you will find a baby factory. This area of your body has a natural purpose, to reproduce, sex is made pleasurable to ensure that we do reproduce. With our advanced civilization we seem to forget the simple fact that we are animals. […] The man is now exhausted having been hunting all morning. The woman, however, is not, so it would make sense for the woman to prepare and serve the food. The man exhausts himself to produce the food and in return the woman prepares it for him and wishes to have children with him as he provides for her well. Both man and woman recieve mutual benefit.

We’ll just be hoping the last two commenters were kidding. What kidders.

Last and least, some love for everyone and a special message for Dr. BDH:

You people are fuckin losers & lets see this lame libby head up your asses pantywaist of a message board get spammed with tons of profanity laced nonsensical garbage postings and we’ll se how long it remains open to the general public!

Oh BTW Hey Dr. BDH WHY DONT YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF AND I’LL GLADELY ASSIST WITH MICHELLE’S BOINKING HERSELF PERSONALLY!!

So there you have it. A new post made from old trash.

Wunderdog offers an idea whose time has come:

It has come to the attention of management that this winter season has produced a notable number of forecasts for freezing rain and drizzle. Not a Midwestern day seems to go by when freezing rain and drizzle are not called for. Because of this, we would like to keep with the forward looking nature of our profession and institute an efficient change in the name of the atmospherical phenomenon formerly known as freezing rain and drizzle.

Hence forth, freezing rain and drizzle will be referred to as frizzle. It becomes obvious when listening to weather reports that the cumbersome phrase ‘freezing rain and drizzle’ is a hazardous stumbling block for many normally well-spoken weathermen, and so management has unanimously decided that it be amended to frizzle.

We can’t help but wonder how Ms. Frizzle feels about the whole thing though.

David Brooks loves the President Bush:

Two years from now, no one will remember the spending or the ostrich-skin cowboy boots. But Bush’s speech, which is being derided for its vagueness and its supposed detachment from the concrete realities, will still be practical and present in the world, yielding consequences every day.

With that speech, President Bush’s foreign policy doctrine transcended the war on terror. He laid down a standard against which everything he and his successors do will be judged.

We read that passage a few times, and the stupidity of it only gets better with every reading. By Brooks’ standards, the mere fact that Bush read some fancy words written for him will allow him (well, really, them) to attribute any and all good news to Bush. [It’s an especially great contrast to our friend Kevin’s blaming Clinton for abortion rates or teen pregnancy.] Anything and everything bad that happened during the period 1992-2000 (and beyond, see 11, September) can be blamed on Clinton. Anything and everything good that happened after that is thanks to Bush.

Nice day out today? Bush did that. Your DVD player is broken? Clinton!

When he goes to China, he will not be able to ignore the political prisoners there, because he called them the future leaders of their free nation. When he meets with dictators around the world, as in this flawed world he must, he will not be able to have warm relations with them, because he said no relations with tyrants can be successful.

So what is he going to do about the prisoners in China, Captain Democracy? As for dictators, you might want to take a look at the coalition of the willing one more time. Brooks manages to state the obvious about past US policy (“the U.S. government […] support[ed] strongmen to rule over them because they happened to be our strongmen) but upon hearing Bush being the latest president to say the US loves all things freedom and democracy, Brooks just can’t help breaking into a rendition of This Time I Know It’s For Real.

It may be comforting to Brooks to think that the US was “forced” to do many unpleasant things by the Cold War, but the plain to anyone with an IQ above room temperature reason we (the West) put up with/support/cajole/sell weapons to or admire the soul of tyrants/despots/brutal dictators/chemical weapons users is that we need their oil/cheap imports/support in some random struggle with someone even worse/access to their pipeline. Everyday low prices, anyone?

Bush’s speech isn’t going to change any of that. It’s obviously managed to make Brooks feel a lot better about himself (and his country,) which, granted, is something. As for the rest? Sadly, No!

Susan Estrich shows just how out of touch she is:

Four Years Till Hillary […]

Mark my words. You heard it here first.

Hmm, not exactly.

What is this essay about? First one to get it right gets a dinner date with Annie Jacobsen of World O’Crap fame.

[…] are now at a stalemate: Public enthusiasm for the president’s plan has precipitously declined, but its opponents have failed to capitalize on its obvious flaws and kill it outright. This is just a temporary lull, however. The plan is due for resuscitation–unless a strong counteroffensive is mounted. In political terms, that task falls mainly to […] What form should their opposition take?

A simple, green-eyeshade criticism of the president’s […] plan–on the grounds that it’s numbers don’t add up (they don’t), or that it costs too much (it does), or that it will kill jobs and disrupt the economy (it will)–is fine as far as it goes, but it is not enough. Such opposition can only win concessions on the way to a “least bad” compromise.

[…] Second, they must aggressively debunk the administration’s “crisis” rhetoric, which in any case is merely a justification for it’s radical reforms. […]

And the president’s plan is unnecessary: There is no […] crisis, and the reforms suggested above show how real problems can be directly addressed.

[Fixed link.]

Last time we discussed Kevin McCullough, well, things didn’t work out too well for him. Well, he’s back, and looks like the learning curve is rather flat out there. After reminding us that Robert Byrd was in the Ku Klux Klan, he throws this out there for the kids:

But having him [Byrd] put the kibosh on the most qualified African American woman [Condi] ever to be elevated to the position that she is seeking is horrible.

Most qualified African American woman to be nominated to be Secretary of State?

n = 1, anyone?

Sadly, No!’s favorite eBay user is back, leaving feedback that makes the whole world sing:

Roses are red, violets are blue, Tandy makes sucky computers, I sell them to you

Never paid for item, ignored my emails, supports the taliban, is a big homo.

Don’t let the hat fool you, man, the Pope’s a crazy farker!

I have a crush on this girl named Amy. Too bad she’s married.

Filled up this mp3 player with mp3s of me brushing my teeth. Hope you liked it.

This guy didn’t pay me yet but what the heck, it’s been a crazy day!

Seller paid me so fast that I question his sanity. A+++@$(*!#(&@$^*(@$*)!#

Of course, he also likes to respond to feedback as well:

fast payment, nice transaction A++++++++++++++
Reply by phoneloser-rbcp: You gave me considerably less +’s than you give other buyers. I’m offended.

Thanks for a fine transaction. A+++ Hope to see you again soon.
Reply by phoneloser-rbcp: You’ve never seen me. We arranged all this by email. Quit being delusional.

More along those lines here and there.

[Fixed link — we think.]

Finally, good news out of Iraq:

Iraq’s interim defense minister said on Friday the government would arrest Iraqi National Congress (INC) leader Ahmad Chalabi after the Eid al-Adha holiday on suspicion of maligning the defense ministry. […]

Shaalan told London-based newspaper Asharq al-Awsat in remarks published on Friday he would order the arrest after Chalabi accused the defense minister in an interview of stealing $500 million from the ministry and posted documents on a Web site accusing Shaalan of links to Saddam Hussein’s government.

[Thanks to pinki for the link.]