Sadly, No!

Ladies and gentlemen, we bring you Ali Sina, whose name seems to be a mix of insane and asylum put together:

This is the beginning of the fall of Europe. Anti-Islamism is not the same as anti-Semitism. Islam is a belief system, Semites are a race. We can’t equate a race to a doctrine.

The “this” referred to by Ali is the EU’s decision to monitor both anti-Semitism and anti-Islamism. And when you monitor two different things, that means (logically) that they are the same. Just like when we monitor conservatives and lunatics on the internet, it means that conservatives are lunatics.

This decision simply makes no sense. It is a contradiction. You can’t ban anti-Semitism and anti-Islamism at the same time. Islam is anti-Jew and anti-Human. The two don’t go together. They are mutually exclusive.

This is our new favorite: that Islam is anti-Human, and/or seeks the destruction of humanity. So long, and thanks for all the Korans!

Something along the lines of “Paging Laura to the Oval Office” — or you can pretty much take it from there.

Truly a caring soul, Realtor Lee Papa joined our CityShare Network last November to help with the Can & Coin Campaign. She was a huge contributor to the success of the food drive and helped many people get to know about the good work going on over at the food bank.

That is, won’t she have some ‘splaining to do over at the Can & Coin Campaign, once these ads start appearing?

Click the link and donate to the Rude Pundit until it hurts almost this much. If not for the Rude Pundit, we’d be forced to return to the Times and Post for reasonable and fair-minded commentary on the issues of the day, and as we know, they’ve gone totally apeshit in the past-few.

[Note re: Lee Papa (pictured above): Ceci n’est pas une pipe.]

I’m just talking off the top of my head here, but the market is wide open these days, tourism-wise, in Sodom.

Modern-day Sedom, Israel

You can see the possibilities, yes? What better package tour for Biblically-engaged fellows with a certain abiding interest, such as,

John Derbyshire,

NRO Zany-Brainy kid, and author of the book with the title that makes you sing…

Express yourself,
[You’ve got to make him,]
Express himself,
hey, hey, hey!

Promotional graphic for Derbyshire book

The guests could go on ‘outings.’

[rimshot]

…Slogan: “What happens in Sodom, stays in Sodom.” “When in Sodom, do as the Sodomites do?” “Sodom: the little city with a Lot?”

Ok, this was a quick one. You want masterpieces, watch Masterpiece Theatre. 10% and it’s yours to run with.

Agape Press alerts us to the American Family Association’s latest battle in the War on Anal Copulation that’s Offensive to Fans of Freedom (or “WAC OFF” for short):

One week after calling an end to its nine-year boycott of the Walt Disney Company, the American Family Association has launched another nationwide campaign.

And we all remember how well that boycott went! Before the AFA announced its boycott, Disney’s stock price stood at $18.67 a share. But after nine years of the relentless Evangelical embargo, Disney’s stock had plummeted all the way to $27.66 per share. Indeed, the AFA’s attack on Disney was the most successful right-wing boycott since Bill O’Reilly brought France to its knees.
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So S,N! pulls off the first scoop of its counter-illustrious career, outing the super-anonymous Rude Pundit (the listing for his Fringe Festival appearance went up early, sez he; we were astonished to happen across it). And what (I say, what) happens the next day?

No, guess.

How ’bout this?

Insert gigantic, flashing ‘breaking’ banner. With break-dancers spinning on their heads, and crockery breaking.

Laugh all you want, we’re out of here, and we’re not coming back until we find the fabled Mokele-mbembe.

[updated, because i do that a lot]

Sadly, No! condemns the recent assassination attempt on the President of the United States on the grounds that, for starters, assassination is reprehensible and wrong, and quite out of fashion in America, since years ago when JFK, MLK, and RFK were murdered one after the next by alleged lone, deranged gunmen. …And that was an accident with Wellstone, we think.

But wait, we’re not starting off well here. Throwing grenades at people — it’s always wrong. We condemn it with zero-tolerance.

Not Funny

It’s good to have backup in matters like these. Take it, Jennifer McBride, of the noted ’10 Reasons Not To Kill Bush’ essay!

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Michelle Malkin is pimping a new website called “The Cotillion,”, a collection of wingnutty female bloggers (or as Michelle calls them, “hot conservative gals of the blogosphere”).

As if Michelle’s endorsement weren’t enough proof of the ladies’ wingnuttery, take a look at what Beth, the founder of The Cotillion, wrote:

Thanks to Michelle Malkin for your blessing; you are, of course, our inspiration!

*shudders*

Because we here at Sadly, No! love making new friends (and picking up hot babes), I figured I’d scope out some of the ladies in the Cotillion and set the best ones up with Gavin (I dunno if he has a girlfriend or not, but what the heck. Besides, Seb’s already spoken for, and his wife wasn’t too happy when she found out about his steamy threesome with Neal Horsley and Oskar the anti-American goat).

Now, let’s meet the ladies.
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Surprisingly, nobody seems to have picked up on this yet, and indeed it puts quite a damper on our own musical revue, ‘The Year of Living Sadly,’ which debuts practically right across the street the same evening, and features guest appearances by Adam Yoshida on banjo, and Pastor Swank with that hula-hoop trick he does… And a rousing, all-cast dance number at the end that…

Well, crap. Because anyone in New York City, or within range of an airport that flies to New York City, must attend the Fringe Festival in August, and see Lee Papa, the Rude Pundit, in:

The Year of Living Rudely

Writer:Lee Papa

Director: Mark H. Creter

Based on the cult blog with thousands of fans worldwide, the Rude Pundit attacks assholes and pisses on the powerful. In this (very rude) one-man comedy, he gives a scatological skewering and a pornographic wedgie to preachers, politicians, and presidents.

rudepunditshow.blogspot.com

Memorial Day always makes me feel patriotic, as Americans everywhere honor the brave men and women who have sacrificed their lives defending our freedoms, including my all-time favorite freedom: the freedom of speech.

The beauty of free speech is that everyone has it, whether they deserve it or not. Indeed, the best thing about America is that you can get up on a podium and say whatever retarded thing you want and not get jailed for it. See Exhibit A:

Above: Senator Man-on-Dog Sex.

While many Americans take this for granted, we should remember that even free countries like Canada have foolishly passed “hate speech laws” to curb racist, sexist and homophobic rhetoric.

We (well OK, I) here at Sadly, No! think this is a travesty- if we outlawed hate speech, what would we have to make fun of? And do we really want to live in a world without Pastor Swank?

There’s an old saying that goes: “I don’t agree with what you say, but I defend to the death your right to say it.”

This is a pretty good rule to live by, but I have my own variation of it: “I think you’re a moron, but I defend to the death your right to be an asshole so I can have a laugh at your expense.”

For in America, there are two ways we deal with someone who spouts hateful rhetoric:

1.) Call ’em a fucktard (my preferred method)
2.) Elect ’em Senator (Mississippi’s preferred method)

With that in mind, here are some examples of uniquely American free speech, courtesy of Alan Keyes’ Renew America. Let’s start with our old friend Justin Darr:
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