In the comments, SondraK writes:
And no, you won’t get my traffic this time either. Now stop being a spoiled brat left out of the party.
Gee, I wonder if Sondra’s right? Maybe we just make fun of her because we’re jealous of all her traffic and…
Ooop! Looks like that gets a big old “Sadly, No!”
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Because I hate myself, I decided to read Michelle Malkin’s latest column. This one’s got all the Malkin trademarks: absurd hyperbole, nasty invective and bogus claims. Basically, Michelle is claming that the World Trade Center Memorial that’s under construction in New York is a “Blame America Monument.”
We all know how stupid this is, but it’s something we should pay attention to, because I guarantee Michelle’s column will spark a blaze of manufactured right-wing OUTRAGE!!!!! on FOX News (which will inevitably spill over to CNN and MSNBC). In fact, I can hear O’Reilly right now: “Why are you tax dollars paying for a monument that blames America for September 11th? Michelle Malkin’s here give us the details.”
So, take a deep breath and make sure you don’t have any sharp objects nearby, because we’re about to… *shudder*… read Michelle’s column:
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Our Valkyrie of conscience, Ms. S.Z., says to whomp Miss Amber with hale pleasure, because she craves it.
I’m torn, like an origami crane with a tear in its delicate rice-paper wing. Because if she craves it, then…
We’re getting a taste of what it might be like to date Amber Pawlik. Every animate moment would be an inner dialogue like: “I know that she knows that I want what I want — but does she know that I know that she wants what she wants?”
And you don’t get any action, either! The point is lost on one. So meanwhile, someone is chortling and snucking, and posts this on Amber’s (moderated) message board:
Definitely Not Sadly, No (@[email protected])
Date: Sat 04 Jun 2005 07:18:37 PM EDT
Subject: RecipesI am a person who wants to make a meal. However, all of your delicious recipes have been made by me for my family already. Would it be at all possible to post more recipes? We would like to make them regularly, and a new recipe, posted for instance every week, would be quite delicious and nourishing for myself and my family.
Signed, A housewife on the Internet
We were good people until Seb went away, leaving us in this crazy half-realm of enticements.
The Ozark Mountain Daredevil at Mahablog adopts a Thinker pose on the Amber Pawlik crust-‘n’-muck recipe, and insults New Jersey pizza.
Oh no you don’t, sir!
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It’s Tuesday, and that means it’s time yet another Jim Rutz column. For those of you who don’t know, Rutz is the author of Megashift, a book about God’s plan to raise people from the dead to form a holy army of Christian Zombies (I should mention at this point that it’s supposed to be non-fiction).
Today, Rutz writes that a “new version” of Christianity is giving people the power to perform miracles, including bringing their relatives back from the grave. He says that these new powers represent a new, decentralized church where people worship Jesus in their own way, without any crusty old preachers telling them what to do. He also says we should “turn on, tune in, and worship Jesus,” and warns us not to trust any prophets over 40.
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One has to admit that there’s a certain appeal to doing a Pawlik Watch thing — utterly excessive, an anvil dropped on a goldfish, a reasonless crusade against an adversary who’s pretty much huddled up in a cave wearing rags, eating cream cheese from the box, barely able to voice a yell against liberals and emancipated women.
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So…who’s behind door number four?
Posted by lensman at June 3, 2005 03:41 PM
Lensman wins, because the writer of the unsigned passage about Islamofascist moon-devils was none of the three wingnuts pictured, but…
[drum roll]
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Pope Benedict lets out his inner Sex Pistol:
Pope condemns gay marriages as ‘anarchy’
ROME (Reuters) – Pope Benedict, in his first clear pronouncement on gay marriages since his election, on Monday condemned same-sex unions as fake and expressions of “anarchic freedom” that threatened the future of the family.
Awesome. In the Pope’s honor, I’ve written a song about gay marriage anarchy:
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Not that we don’t believe her, but does this strike any ex-military folks in a WTF! sort of way?
So last Saturday I went to a Basic Pistol course, teaching the basic operation, cleaning, shooting and safety of hand guns. It was awesome. The class was the class, learned a lot. But we got to shoot too. I’ve shot a rifle before – I was in the military. I really liked it and I shot sharpshooter. I finally got to learn how to shoot a pistol. I learned how to stand properly and what kind of pistol would be good for me. It was awesome; I was so happy to finally learn. I am, of course, in the market for a pistol right now.
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