Sadly, No!

Let’s say terrorists nuke an American city. What’s the best way to respond? I think alicublog’s got the right idea:

Global Toby Keith Network — U.S. jams all radio signals worldwide, forces planet to listen to jingoistic new country tunes (such as “Grandma’s Glowin’, So I’m Goin’ to War,” “Kiss My Radiation-Damaged Ass,” etc.) commissioned by the National Endowment for the Arts.

…our SadNo staff and their dread cat minions, they were being attacked by Skippy the Bush Kangaroo in a battle-mech suit.

“ha ha! i am going to give you a million hits…in your pants!”
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Over at Renew America, Cynthia “Gays Are Not Gays” Janak has developed an ingenius plan to deter terrorists from bombing subways- ARM EVERYONE:

What if a terrorist goes into the subway with a backpack and the law-abiding citizen is armed? The terrorist puts the bag down and tries to walk away. The law-abiding citizens are able to stop the terrorist in his tracks and call the police on their cell phones. The law-abiding citizens restrain the terrorist and leave the subway while the bomb is being defused.

So if any of your fellow subway passengers put down their bags, pull a gun on them. Of course, people will think you’re some crazy mugger, and they’ll probably respond by pulling their guns on you. Pretty soon, the whole subway looks something like this:
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An article bearing the headline:

Iraqis Optimistic on Constitution Deadline

begins thusly:

A sigh of relief could be heard around Washington, D.C. Monday as 12 Sunni Arabs (search) agreed to return to the negotiating table in Iraq[.]

and continues:

U.S. officials had maintained an optimist outlook that minority Muslim faction would meet its goals despite last week’s violence against constitution drafters and a boycott of talks by Sunnis demanding increased protection[.]

meanwhile, back in Washington:
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Yes, we don’t recognize “Sadly No” because they are so incredibly left-wing. You could write that the sky is blue and they would say, “Sadly No.”

Don’t waste your time with that BS.

Gee, are you bad people! Oh, my goodness I am in tears because you do not approve of me! So sad! “Can’t we just get all along?” A Rodney King quote GET LOST TROUBLE MAKERS! 175 hits? WOW!!!!!

Wha? Oh, hi Marie. (That’s Marie from Peoplepolitical.org.) Anyway, “175 hits” refers to this:

That’s the Feedburner RSS-subscriber thingy on the right of the page. However, if you scroll down to the Site Meter link, you’ll find instead that

SADLY, NO!

1,000,000 VISITORS!
(since Seb added Site Meter sometime in ’04).

[Happy little Sadly! dance]

Anyway, Marie, the sky is blue, and please enjoy the exhilarating feeling of a trout in your nose.

==Bonus update, featuring bonus wingnut projection and made-up claims of wingnut victimhood==

Hello, police? The liberals are making fun of my spelling and grammar. Yes, officer, it’s almost like a personal threat against my personal safety. What? But they’re liberals — can’t you just arrest them anyway? Agh! Daddy! [tantrum]

Seb just set up new contact addresses, and golly, what’s the first thing that pops up?

While looking for Marie Jon’ who is all over the Internet I came upon your site. Your site that only was given any recognition because of a very gorgeous looking and talented Marie. A mere blog on the Internet! You have balls and they are not between your legs! If nothing she is doing thing that jerks as you have no understanding of.

Well, Sadly, No!

…It’s no fun when it’s just handed to you like that, btw. But there seems no better time than the present to see what’s up at our sister site, Peeplepolictical Pooplepolicital Beeple… BabbleBobbleBoo… (ahem) PeoplePolitical.org, for whom we (including Jeff-Perado) now serve practically as full-time, uncredited spell-checkers and proofreaders.
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So sayeth Star “Not Jones” Parker:

Now I fear that our family’s legacy is not secure. The government can show up in the night _ in a fashion not all that different from the world of Saddam Hussein that our American troops have fought and died to depose _ to take away our property.

Which is exactly what happened in Connecticut. Exactly.

In the first two chapters of Porn Generation, our intrepid virgin hero expounds that everyone under the age of 30 is an STD-ridden ho-bag. The next five chapters explore this theme further, as we learn that professors and celebrities are all ho-bags too.

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This. It’s not exactly news to those who read the blogs (or attend to Hersh), and neither is the coverup — although the violation of the court order is less than a day old.

But a tiny little corner of irony that intrudes into the affair, unheralded, is that John A. of Americablog is gay — and that this item comes directly amidst a time in which gay, male Americans are being slandered by the right as ‘pedophiles,’ and by extension, rapists.

Insert smiley, safely-ironic emoticon for “bashing Republicans’ brains out with a log.”

And a shot of Maker’s Mark for John, who also gets the next jukebox pick. (Our last was Donnie Iris’s “Ah, Leah” — fer which no comment aesthetically.)

The answer, sadly, is Canadians:

9/11 and the mob

Oh this is going to be good, thorazine good!

By hitting the 89th floor of One World Trade Center, al-Qaeda?s first-time pilot hijacker of American Airlines Flight 11, managed to miss the Buttonwood Global Custodians’ offices on the 79th floor below, while killing all of their Cantor-eSpeed competitors on the 101st floor and above.

How cunning! What is Cantor Fitzgerald’s scheme for world domination?

Cantor Fitzgerald needs software and gets it from Aegis. If you click on www.aegisoft.com, you will discover that this company does not provide any normal way for anyone to contact them. Odd for the website of a standard normal company.

No normal way, if by normal you mean “to what frequency should I set my toaster so I can reach the operator?” In fact, they only provide this a.b. normal way:

How to Contact or Visit Aegis

Address: 14 Penn Plaza, 8th Floor
New York, NY 10122

Phone: (212) 268-3100
Fax: (212) 244-4119

Email: [email protected]

How is any normal person supposed to reach these shadowy figures?

Security Industry News notes in a brief story that Cantor Fitzgerald celebrated the passage of a measure its lobbyists drafted for the Nevada state legislature allowing the WiFi based mobile gaming devices in state casinos.

These no-good rascals got a piece of legislation passed, and then went on to celebrate that fact. Inconceivable!

A redux conclusion: It is even possible that this is not mob related?

If this is mob, did the mob know of the impending attack on 9/11? The terrorist-piloted plane hit Cantor Fitzgerald directly?one floor below where they were located. This would be the worst possible spot because the flames would go up and engulf everything. Could this really be only sheer coincidence? No suicide jockey flying a plane for the first time coincidentally hit right where the mob knew they would hit. [Emphasis added, assumption of facts not in evidence in the original.]

You know you’ve wandered off the reservation when the comment you get at Free Republic is:

Stuff like this gives the word “lunatic” a bad name…

Thanks to reader “st” in the comments to this post for the tip.