Sadly, No!

Picking up where Gavin left off…

Michell Malkin writes:

United Nations Undersecretary-General Jan Egeland–yeah, the same jerk who called America “stingy” during the Indonesian tsunami disaster last year

Of course, that was months ago and by now even a fuckstick a respected journalist and not at all an ethics-impaired blogger like Makin should know that…. sadly, no! (Freeper link!)

No.. er… ah….I would say that ..er….I’d rather say that it is remarkable that we may, we have …um…no country up to the 1%…um..line of foreign assistance in general and we have, I think, three ….um…Scandinavians that have exceeded, and Holland, the 0.7% line of cross national income for assistance…em….We were more generous when we were less rich, many of the rich countries. And it is beyond me why we are. Why are we so stingy really?

Why are we so dumb really?

Well, now.

Wow, can you believe that asshole? And several so-called foreign countries just offered independently, too. About time, jerks. Where were you yesterday when the President was on vacation?

[…]

Yes, if only there were some way to tell.

[…]

Hint: One of them is Venezuela. Oh wait, she’s already there.

More snittiness…from Venezuelan dictator Hugo Chavez. Pat Robertson was off-base, but not by much.

I tapped her on the shoulder,
And asked, “Why are you on the tube?”
She looked at me and yanked her sweater,
Flashing me her boobs,
___[ahem]___, right-wing vamp,
___ ____ ____, let’s tour the camps,
We’ll dress like Minnie Pearl,
Just you and me, ___ ____ ____.

We got into a car,
Away we started rollin’
I said, “How come it smells like Old Spice?”
She said, “I got it from John Bolton.”
___ ____ ____, let’s play la migra,
___ ____ ____, and bait the nigras,
We’ll laugh like Milton Berle,
Just you and me…

Eating fudge banana swirl,
Just you and me…
We’ll travel round the world,
Just you and me…

That is a vicious personal attack, and they promised not to use that term again until the hurricane was cleaned up by…someone.

You make folks want to hurl,
Just you and me, ___ ____ ____.

George Bush screwing up a basic open G chord on a cheesy Presidential-seal guitar, unprepared for balladeering without pick or strap, right hand splayed with thumb twiddling horizontally on low E string

John Kerry correctly playing a G barre chord on a vintage Gibson ES-125, properly equipped with pick and strap, demonstrating mastery of right-hand palm-muting technique

S,N! has donated to and recommends the American Friends Service Committee.

Technorati Tags: flood aid, Hurricane Katrina

We’ll meet again, Mssrs. Hewett and Reynolds. Yes, we’ll be the ones putting the fish down your pants. Next time.

From a guy in Tennessee who was like, “People who stayed in New Orleans because they didn’t have cars get no sympathy for me,” at Talking Points Memo… And a couple of bitch-slappings later, he’s all like:

Dear Sir,

We’re praying for you.

Signed,
Stinky cheese-eating surrender monkeys
Disloyal old-Europe Krauts
Obsolete, treacherous UN
and Indonesia

And yes, this is your unlucky day, because we drove our second-best Yugo into a Category 5 hurricane against the orders of the authorities — and totally blowing off Mick and Keith — just hoping that some clown would later demand that as a prerequisite for having an opinion on whether not owning a car = deserves no pity in a national emergency.

Those people in the World Trade Center should have brought parachutes. It’s not like they cost much, and they knew they were at risk — the WTC had been bombed before! They get no sympathy from us.

How did I know that WorldNetDaily would eventually publish a gem like this:

Christian activist: Act of God prevented ‘Southern Decadence’ festival

Hurricane Katrina walloped New Orleans just two days before the annual homosexual “Southern Decadence” festival was to begin in the town, an act being characterized by some as God’s work.
Fascinating. The hurricane also struck only one week after the annual Shrimp Festival in Delcambre, Louisiana. As you all know, God hates shrimp so much that He pointedly calls them “abominations” in the Bible. This debauched, gluttonous festival in Delcambre clearly aroused God’s wrath and forced Him to seek vengeance. So for all you sinful jerks who decided to flaunt the Lord’s will and chow down on shellfish, I point my finger and say, “YOU helped this to happen!”
Read the rest of this entry »

Even by JB Williams’ admittedly low standards, this column is really bad:

Polls Demonstrate Effectiveness of Message, Not Mission

JB Williams

August 31, 2005 – The easiest thing to find in America today, or the world for that matter, is an opinion about the war effort in Iraq.

Well no shit. All you have to do is go outside and ask someone what they think about the Iraq war. It isn’t that difficult. Hell, you could say the same thing about opinions on the goddamn Easter Bunny. I went up to some dude just the other day and said, “Hey! Is that Easter Bunny wack or what? Who does he think he is, hopping around town, leaving big piles of rainbow-colored rabbit shit on my front porch?” And the guy looked at me and said, “Right on, man! That fuckin’ bunny can rot in hell for all I care!”
Read the rest of this entry »

Love is in the air:

Lately I’ve been hearing a lot of stupid people parroting stupid buzz words. There are too many to list all of them here, but I’ll be damned if I’m not going to try. I propose that we all agree, here and now, to strike these words and phrases from our collective for the betterment of humanity, and the improvement of my blood pressure. Thank you.

Blog: The word “blog” is literally shorthand for “boring;” a vulgar, overused word that strikes your ear with the dull thud of a cudgel to the soft spot of a child. […]

It’s an unspoken rule that every blog must use the same layout as every other blog: long, slender columns of annoyingly condensed text, thousands of links to other blogs, plugs for shitty political books, and more links to yet more blogs:

Hooray! Plenty more where that came from.

(“Thanks” to Scooby for the link.)

The Wall Street Journall reports:

Daniel Perry, an Orlando, Fla., lawyer who has closely followed Mr. Wall’s case online, said Mr. Wall may have taken on liability by posting negative comments about Traffic-Power.com himself. […]

“The Internet is not your personal stump to beat up people.”

Oh, wait…. Merde!

Instapundit: Good for something.

Katrina relief info here.

The wingnutosphere is doing a flood-aid blogburst tomorrow, and as long as they stick to stuff like that, we might all be pals around here.

The black people are looting, looting, looting!

Well, maybe not pals, exactly. But we won’t call Michelle that special name until things are brought at least somewhat under control in the Gulf.

Also, since it’s Ecumenical-nice Day around here, Jude Wanniski, of supply-side fame, was one of the first conservative solons to speak against the war. A principled conservative: R.I.P., August 29, ’05.

We certainly aren’t what you’d usually call joiners, but ever since Blog Like A Conservative Day we’ve felt a special warmth for our right-wing bretheren and sistern. And not just in our pants! Watch the world turn backwards and upside down as S,N! joins the conserv-o-blog flood-aid blogburst.

And will they remember this later, when we’re scuffling over a fireplace poker trying to bash each other’s skulls in? We hope so, because that might slow them down long enough to grab the poker. Hmm.