Sadly, No!

Bitchin’:

Pinellas County probate court judge George W. Greer, the judge who set the stage for the mass killing of the disabled and elderly in the United States as part of the government?s effort to save on Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security costs, is the recipient of first annual ?Judicial Tyrant of the Year? award presented by The Empire Journal.

So because we didn’t force a woman whose brain had degenerated into spinal fluid to spend the rest of her life hooked up to a tube, we obviously have to start killing off old folks. It’s the only next logical step. Our only hope to save the elderly now is to privatize Social Security.
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When good people borrow our line it’s a chance to make new friends. When wankers do? Ugh.

The MSM Bites Back!

Through its devious strategy of reporting on the mess in the Gulf Coast, the MSM has managed to damage President Bush’s approval rating, from its earlier impressive level of the low 40s all the way into the high 30s.

As far as shorters go, Roy Edroso has one of his own.

Yet Pinkerton, who once spent part of a column dreading the reelection of Canadian PM Jean Chr?tien even after Chr?tien had announced his resignation, has truly managed to outdo himself this week. How? Thanks for asking:
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From the diaries at Kos:

My third grader daughter came home from school crying yesterday. The substitute teacher had asked the class where they were born. She raised her hand and said “I was born in the USA.”

Immediately the chorus came from boys in her class: “Shoot her! Shoot her! Shoot her!”

We live in Canada, we are all Canadian. My wife is from Canada, I became a citizen a couple of years ago and since our daughter was born in the US, like me she is a dual citizen. This is all really beside the point, though.

[…]

I brought this up with the regular teacher this morning and she told me that she would address this issue immediately. As I left the school, the children were filing in. I told my daughter to have a good day, but she had been swarmed by this group of boys, one of which was saying “You are an evil USA person!” and pointing at her menacingly with a “gun” finger. I told the lot of them that it wasn’t right to make fun of someone because of where they were born and that our daughter was in fact Canadian.

Not Canadian enough, apparently. The proper deflective answer to the question, “Where are you from?” is “Sudbury.”

Note to American Wandervogeljugend: Definitely leave the Canada flag on the backpack whilst wandering and vogeling through Canada, these days. And if someone mentions the Heritage Foundation, calmly assume they mean these guys.

Why, oh why, does everyone hate America? Why, oh why-oh? (Me-o-my-o, catfish-pie-o, on the Bayou?)

Many thanks to reader Steve for sending us “Gizoogle”, the official ebonics translation webpage. I tested its capabilities by having it translate a Kaye Grogan column. Here is the result:

Send in tha clowns
Kaye Grogan

Well, wizzy . . You gotta check dis shit out yo. . tha three ring circus is `bout ta begin featur’n Judge J-to-tha-izzohn Roberts, n tha Judiciary Committee . They call me tha black folks president. So witout gangsta ado . know what im sayin?: “Send in tha Clowns.”

Start’n wit Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Arlen Specta, a moderate ta liberal (mostly liberal) Republizzle friznom Pennsylvania ? he is prepared ta dance or should I say “tiptoe” around tha abortion issue by steppin’ U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice Trippin’ Jizzy Roberts, if he thinks tha Constitizzles has a “right ta privacy” clause ridin’ in mah double R. Come on now Mr . You’se a flea and I’m the big dogg. Playa jiznust ask Judge Roberts how he feels `bout abortion n be done wit it . Im crazy, you can’t phase me!

Y’know what? I think that actually makes more sense than anything she’s ever written.
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The Editors quotes some hardcore winger porn over at the Horowitz-sponsored Moonbat Central blog, complete with murder fantasies involving Howard Zinn and Michael Moore (who, as the Editors so deftly notes, is fat). While this was indeed an outstanding find, we have to dock him some points for not going all the way and checking out the responses left in the comments section. Hold on to your seats, kiddos, ’cause I’m about to take you on a very insane ride…
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Because sometimes even our finely tuned army of pigeons will miss a new wingnut, we have to rely on you, our readers, to alert us to up and coming hottest conservative writers on these interwebs. Ladies and Yosef, please say hello to Daniel Underwood:

At a time when Americans who died on 9/11 are being memorialized, some flagrantly insensitive peaceniks have chosen to use the tragedy of slaughtered Americans for their own cheap political gains.

Let’s be honest: aren’t all peaceniks insensitive, really?

Black umbrellas are scattered on the ground bearing the names of American soldiers and Iraqi civilians who lost their lives in the Iraq war.

If only they’d scattered colorful band aid or fingers dipped in ink.
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Mykeru is a nice guy,** and here’s the video he made while inflitrating the Freedom March.***

* Washington Monument
** Aggressive badass
*** Low-budge Nuremburg Rally

First it was Scooby McClellan, now it’s the President himself!

THE PRESIDENT: I was — I knew that a big storm was coming on Monday, so I spoke to the country on Monday* morning about it. […]

* Sunday

We’re thinking about using this technique soon on Sadly, No!, the world’s most popular blog.*

* Not the world’s most popular blog.

For the first time since, well, ever, Carey Roberts has decided not to write about the vast female conspiracy to sap his precious bodily fluids and sell them to starving children. Instead, he turns his steely, incisive gaze upon the United Nations Correspondents’ Association:

Have you ever wondered why much of the daily media coverage about the United Nations reads more like a feel-good press release than a hard-hitting news story?

Sadly, no I haven’t. And just for the record, here are some of today’s feel-good headlines about the U.N.:

–“Main divisive issues before U.N. world summit.”

–“Fears grow of meltdown at ambitious UN summit”

–“Thirty years later, is UN significant? Outdated agency under fire.”

–“Slow Progress on U.N. Summit Document.”

Man, those one-world global elites must be absolutely ecstatic to have such glowing press coverage! It makes me want to pledge allegience to the New World Order by singeing my testicles with a burning American flag!
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