Posted on September 17th, 2005 by Brad
The people of New Orleans had better brace themselves- it seems Rush Limbaugh has a plan to save their city!
OK, so most of the plan consists of bashing Democrats. Well, that and using oil revenues taken from drilling in the ANWR to rebuild the Gulf Coast. But on the plus side, he’s got this nifty picture of himself trying to look intelligent and official:
Above: Lacking an actual plan, Rush takes a map of New Orleans and slaps “The Limbaugh Plan” on top. Note the very official-looking pointer stick. Color us impressed.
Incidentally, here’s my favorite part:
The president actually said we’ve learned now that the US military is the one element of our government and the bureaucracy that’s best equipped to handle this. And he went on to say that we need to empower them more in circumstances like that. I thought the left would be throwing up red flags, yellow flags, green flags, pink ribbons and everything. You start empowering the military and those people start having babies out of wedlock. Their cows start having babies. I mean, they just lose it.
Awesome. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go find someone to knock up…
Posted on September 17th, 2005 by Brad
You gotta give it to Bush’s handlers- they can play our gullible press corps like nobody else (emphasis added):
Bush Sees ‘Bright Dawn’ Emerging in Gulf
By JENNIFER LOVEN
Associated Press Writer
Appealing to God for help with “the difficult work that lies ahead,” President Bush on Saturday painted a picture of a hopeful and vibrant future for the hurricane-battered Gulf Coast and the people there who lost family, jobs, communities and everything they own in the storm.
So these people lost family members, their jobs, and everything they own, but Bush says they have “a hopeful and vibrant future.” I know the president is supposed to be reciting a positive message here, but doesn’t this strike anyone as a tad ridiculous?
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Posted on September 17th, 2005 by
Daniel Gelernter asks:
Bush put it this way in his second Inaugural Address: The U.S. must “support the growth of democratic movements and institutions in every nation and culture, with the ultimate goal of ending tyranny in the world.” But hasn’t the U.S. always been anti-tyranny and pro-democracy? [Italics in original.]
Sadly, No! We’ll offer this to get you started, and throw in this old classic:
President Reagan: President Mobutu and I have just had a warm and useful discussion. And I am pleased to have been able to meet again with President Mobutu, who’s been a faithful friend to the United States for some 20 years. The President and I took this opportunity to review the state of U.S.-Zairian relations, and we found a large area of agreement on the major points we discussed.
Feel free to add your own in the comments.
Shorter version also available from busy, busy, busy.
* Easy answers to unnecessary questions is a registered trademark of The Poor Man Institute for Freedom and Democracy and a Pony.
Posted on September 17th, 2005 by Gavin M.
Because there’s nothing on the iPod, and the cats are all out hunting the escaped bubonic plague mice tonight.
No really, you go down South Orange Avenue past Seton Hall, and there’s a Kennedy Fried Chicken on the left, and the UMDNJ lab is a few more blocks down that way. Yes, that’s where the mice disappeared from. No, I’m fine with that. No, really: I’ve always liked the idea of bubonic plague. I think it would totally spice things up around here.
“Yersinia pestis, ya-ha-deedle-deedle, daidle-daidle-deedle-deedle-dum!”
I don’t know about you, but all day long I plan to biddle-biddle-bum.
Bubonic plague. While we’re at it, how about some cattarh, dropsy, grippe, and other pre-Victorian diseases? How about the ague? It rhymes with plague. Give me a case of that with a side of the chillblains, while my Y. pestis is on order.
[Update: Tigrismus notes that ‘ague’ is pronounced like ‘agh-you.’ I’ll take the croup then, please.]
This is the most public-health excitement I’ve had since the Night the Rabid Raccoon Got Into the House, and the subsequent Week In Which the Cats Were Acting All Weird.
Hi, Mark Morford!
God Loves The 1974 VW Dasher
Why my mom’s old yellow econobox still beats the crap out of any new car on the road
by Mark Morford
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Posted on September 16th, 2005 by Brad
Dear Rest of the Country,
As a Bostonian, I’d like to offer my most heartfelt apology. It seems that Jay Severin, the right-wing butt-munch who said that the majority of American Muslims aren’t loyal to their country and should be killed lest they take over the United States, is now getting his radio show nationally syndicated. I am so, so sorry:
He’s called Bill Clinton ”a traitor” and Al Gore ”Al Whore,” but until now, Jay Severin’s radio audience has been largely limited to Boston. That will change in January. Today Infinity Broadcasting will announce that it has signed the sharp-tongued former political consultant to do a radio show in a series of syndicated markets beginning next year.
But wait! It gets better:
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Posted on September 16th, 2005 by
We’ve had a long week. We’re tired. Yet we feel like we should entertain you at least a little. We need someone so nutty we can pretty much phone it in with the mockery. Praise Allah — here comes WND’s Devvy Kidd and her column, Constitutionally Speaking: Those Judging the Judge:
John Roberts should not be confirmed to the U.S. Supreme Court. Roberts, a Catholic, who did pro bono work in the landmark Romer v. Evans ruling demonstrates he has bought into the propaganda that sodomites are “born that way” and somehow entitled to special rights.
Ah, those sodomites and their special rights! This is going to be gold, Jerry, gold!
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Posted on September 16th, 2005 by Brad
This column by Jane Jiminez of AgapePress stands as one of the weirdest things I’ve read since last week:
Kiss, Kiss, I Love You
By Jane Jimenez
September 15, 2005
Sitting in airport lounges for four months, I have been surrounded by human love in action.
This sounds pretty disturbing. When I want to see “human love in action,” I usually rent a video from my local adult film store. I certainly don’t sleep at airport terminals for four straight months hoping to catch people doing the nasty. Well, not anymore at least. See, after they left me out of the mental institution, I no longer felt the nee…
Oh wait, maybe that’s not what she’s referring to. Damn my perverted ass.
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Posted on September 16th, 2005 by Gavin M.
Aright, this rules.
[Update: Oh hell, these guys are on fire.]
Posted on September 16th, 2005 by Gavin M.
From the Freeperville Choo-choo:
The humanitarian disaster which has followed in the wake of Katrina has shocked the world almost more than the hurricane itself. Here is a selection of the letters to the editor addressed to Der Spiegel that we’ve translated into English.
[…]
It’s the Big Easy’s own fault that so many of its citizens are trying to stay behind with their homes. They’re not really so pitiable. Most of them decided quite consciously to stay. There were enough cars, even if New Orleans has fewer than other cities. And if hotels weren’t affordable, there must have been plenty of relatives and friends. Why did the people ignore the public warnings? “The Big Easy” also likes to take it easy, since the government will provide. This care-for-me mentality has been fatal.
Alan Benson, Germany
But wait just one second here. We’ve seen an Alan Benson before.
Alan Benson
Berlin ? Fri Apr 29 07:00:59 EDT 2005
Active also with other peace / Democrats / Kerry get-out-the-vote organizations. Long time in Berlin
And while we were still wondering if we were silly or remembering things wrong, der Google yielded this, from the Euro version of Time Magazine:
For Kerry to change his mind at times is not a fault but a virtue ? and even a sign of intelligence. As new information comes to light on an issue or conditions change, a good thinker can objectively re-evaluate the potential outcome for the long run instead of doggedly sticking to old prejudices. My hope is that many voters will take Kerry as an example and have the intelligence and courage to change their preference to him.
Alan Benson
Berlin
Have we found the German Floyd Alvis Cooper? Verily, as with counterfeiting and art forgery, the truly world-class trolls might be the ones whose work never draws suspicion. If you’re out there, Benson, drop a line.
Posted on September 15th, 2005 by Brad
The above caption is how WorldNetDaily chose to promote its exciting new book on the Israeli/Palestinian conflict, called Eye to Eye: Facing the Consequences of Dividing Israel. Its thesis is that America should have let Israel evict every last Palestinian from the West Bank and Gaza, because stopping them only made God really mad and forced Him to smite a bunch of innocent people. Let’s check it out (empasis mine):
What do these major record-setting events have in common?
-Nine of the ten costliest insurance events in U.S. history
-Six of the seven costliest hurricanes in U.S. history
-Three of the four largest tornado outbreaks in U.S. history
-Nine of the top ten natural disasters in U.S. history ranked by FEMA relief costs
-The two largest terrorism events in U.S. history
Well, I don’t know what they all have in common (other than being really bad), but I’m gonna guess that “nine of the ten top natural disasters in U.S. history” are ranked in nominal dollars and aren’t adjusted for inflation. Ditto “six of the seven costliest hurricanes” and “nine of the ten costliest insurance events.”
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