Posted on October 11th, 2005 by
Over at Tapped, Garance Franke-Ruta (Franke-Ruta, soon to be the new fragrance for men from Calvin Klein) writes:
This morning the conservative site NewsMax “reported” that activist rock star Bono would be hosting an exclusive $1,000-per-head fundraiser for Senator Rick Santorum.
The NewsMax story linked to states:
At a concert of the legendary rock group U2, Senator Rick Santorum will hold a fund-raising event for one night only.
The thousand-dollar-a-seat fund-raiser has been put together by Sean and Ana Wolfington, and it will take place at the Wachovia Center in Philadelphia in support of Santorum’s reelection.
That NewsMax story is, granted, written to give the impression Bono is personally involved. But if you’re going to “quote” something, shouldn’t you be trying to quote it just a little bit accurately? Instead of, say, having to rely on K-Lo to fact check your ass, as does Garance? [Added: We let tigrismus fact check our ass!]
Irony free moment, from K-Lo:
That Newsmax item was misleading.
That one only, K-Lo?
Posted on October 11th, 2005 by
Because a single long post about something would be too hard. First, this:
Every day people write to us and say: “Sadly, your blog is totally popular and has all the hot chicks from the internets chasing you. Rumors of some pretty explicit tapes of Gavin and Marie Jon’ are legendary. How do you do it? What is, to be blunt, your “ketchup secret?”” Needless to say, it is our world famos sense of humour. Who else can fake write Doug Giles metaphors? Those are hard! Hard work.
But today your chance has come. Can you provide a punch line that was better than the original would-be great metaphor, alleged bon mot, attempted witticism? Can you outwit…. The Ole Perfesser? Let’s see:
Glenn H. Reynolds writes:
Unfortunately, while high gas prices bring back memories of the 1970s, the policy solutions that some people are bringing forth seem about as dated as _________________________.
What did Glenn write? What would you write?
Next up, Jennifer Roback Morse writes:
My Ph.D. is in economics. So I do know something about how to interpret data.
A few paragraphs later, having written about her own adopted three children and seven foster kids, Jennifer shows the above was, obviously, a joke:
So although I have only seen a small sample of children ?up close and personal,? it is probably a larger sample, and more statistically meaningful sample than most families get to see.
Another proud graduate of the Trying to Grok School of Statistics and Other Things I Don’t Understand That Make President Bush Look Bad So I Don’t Like Them.
Meanwhile, Susanne Fields writes:
By scapegoating certain groups and patronizing others, identity politics sacrifices the individual on the altar of groupthink.
Dennis Prager shows how it’s done:
Many on the Left regard the term “national security” as essentially a right-wing cover for conservatism, which they equate with a form of fascism. That explains the Left’s contempt for the Patriot Act, and it helps explain the decision of U.S. District Judge Alvin K. Hellerstein. That Americans will be killed as a result of a judge’s decision to release photos is of no consequence to the Left.
And finally, Chuck “Koko” Colson asks:
A study of the chimpanzee genome reveals that chimps and humans have 98 percent of our DNA in common. Is that evidence of evolution, or something else?
We’re not sure, but we bet the answer is something else? And it is!
Now it?s true that you don?t have to be a Darwinist to see the physical resemblances between chimpanzees and humans.
Well, the members of one group are preoccupied with simple ideas, must communicate using a rudimentary language, constitute the lower rungs of society, throw around their feces when upset, and show a need to conform. The others, well, they’re chimpanzees.
If you need us, we’ll be hanging out at the Bar of Painfully Obvious Jokes That One Can’t Resist Making Anyway.
Posted on October 11th, 2005 by Gavin M.
…we’ve been trying to escape this bluey-white hell and get back to the starlessly black background for which we’re so widely known and celebrated, among several people.
And of course this is a good time for a new logo as well. We’re all throwing ideas at each other like they were confetti or bricks or something.
See, this one’s a proven results-getter in the political blog arena. I’m really feeling positive about this one.
Posted on October 10th, 2005 by
The Flanigan Sideswipe
Democrats are forcing President Bush to nominate incompetent cronies.
Posted on October 10th, 2005 by Gavin M.
Because there’s nothing much going on in politics today that hasn’t been amply covered elsewhere, here’s a…
“In all my dreams, (my dreams), Your fair face beams, (buh-beems), You’re the flower of my heart, (oopy-doopy) — Sweet Ad-e-line!”
And it’s… Because the…
“I can see your smiling face as when we wandered, Down by the brookside just you and I…”
Alright, jeez! Quiet, you Powerline dorkwads!
God.
Here’s a recipe for cardamom coffee. To do it authentically (meaning: to make it extremely strong), you have to prepare it in a pot on the stove, and there’s a technique to…
“AND IT SEEMS SO REAL AT TIMES, (scooby-doop), ‘TIL I AWAKEN TO FIND, (wooba-wooba), ALL VAN-ISHED! A DREAM GONE BYYYYY…!”
Cripes. Never mind; I quit for tonight.
Wait, that’s kind of a piquant, melancholy song to be singing, isn’t it?
“In case you’re wondering; after Miers, the only thing keeping us from attacking each other with bricks and pool cues is the President’s leadership in the war on terror.”
You know, a person could almost start worrying about you guys these days.
Posted on October 8th, 2005 by Brad
Kathleen Parker, who usually supports George W. Bush with a Noonan-esque fervor, writes:
President George W. Bush’s baffling nomination of Harriet Miers, an inexperienced jurist and relatively unknown lawyer, to the U.S. Supreme Court has nearly everyone stumped. What was he thinking?
Of course that’s the wrong verb. Thinking. When Bush has an important decision to make, he doesn’t rely so much on intellectual skills as he does instinct. Like a shaman examining entrails for clues to the future, he prefers to divine a person’s interior.
Jonathan Chait makes the same point, but with a much-needed dose of shrillness:
Why did Bush select her? Because Miers has a personal rapport with the president, having known him from serving as his personal lawyer before following him to the White House.
Most presidents would want their cronies to have some reasonably impressive legal credentials before ascending to the high court. But Bush seems to harbor a principled disdain for meritocracy. Cronyism is one of his core values.
Any sane person realizes that this is not a good quality for any elected leader to have, let alone the frickin’ President of the United States. And as Brad DeLong noted a while ago, we have ample evidence that Bush’s poor intellectual skills have resulted in bad policy decisions:
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted on October 8th, 2005 by Gavin M.
…Is when you write a smart, funny post like you haven’t done for awhile, and when you’re about 80% done, you make a quick bathroom run and come striding back with great aplomb and lightness of heart, to find that your racking, fracking, fritz-fracka-jab, hacking frack, shick-a-fratz, shag flack of a rass-frazzing, kappa-frap flap-jabber hack-a-shack-rassing tomcat has turned the computer off.
“It’s really not my fault that you’ve accustomed me to roaming freely atop the furniture.”
I know, Bobby, but sometimes I wish you were a dachshund.
Posted on October 8th, 2005 by Brad
Good job, White Sox. Now, win it all. Let Shoeless Joe have some rest 🙂
Posted on October 8th, 2005 by Brad
And now, an encore performance from the Power Tools (emphasis mine):
Here in New York, on the other hand, the threat to the subway system seems to have been real, but nipped in the bud. Three men have been arrested in Iraq, but a fourth may already have made his way to New York, and others are believed to have been involved.
Good thing we’re fighting the terrorists in Iraq so we don’t have to fight them here at home, eh?
Posted on October 7th, 2005 by Brad
Further showing that she’s the most ideologically incoherent conservative pundit on the planet, Comrade Kaye Grogan has now come out in favor of… price controls! Behold:
Gas gouging…creating piggy bank era
Kaye Grogan
October 7, 2005
Even during hard times some industries are of the notion that they still have the right to make huge profits, irregardless of the state of the economy or the burden it is causing consumers to endure.
That tends to be what industries do, Kaye. And unless American law has drastically changed within the last hour, companies actually do have the right to make huge profits, even when the economy isn’t doing so hot.
Also, “irregardless” isn’t a word.
Read the rest of this entry »