Posted on January 14th, 2006 by Brad
Man, the Saddam trial just gets bouncier by the day:
The chief judge in the Saddam Hussein trial has submitted his resignation, a court official said Saturday. It wasn’t immediately clear if the resignation had been accepted.
Rizgar Mohammed Amin, the presiding judge of a five-judge tribunal overseeing the Saddam case, submitted his resignation, a court official told The Associated Press on Saturday on condition of anonymity because he wasn’t authorized to speak to the media.
This is like the O.J. trial, except deadlier. I expect Saddam’s defense team will call Kato al-Qaelin to the stand as an alibi any day now.
Posted on January 14th, 2006 by Brad
Click below the fold if you want my predictions. I was four-for-four last week, so I could be onto something…
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Posted on January 14th, 2006 by Gavin M.
Fat Albert Kid: “Hey, y’all Pakistani plumber!”
CIA guy: “Wha? Why you call me ‘Pakistani Plumber?'”
Fat Albert Kid: “‘Cause you’re always flushin’ out Bin Laden’s Number Twos!”
[Cue loop of the gang groaning, with ‘wah-wah-wah’ theme.]
Mushmouth: “Heybuh, manbee… Isn’t thibbis a re-buh-run?”
Posted on January 14th, 2006 by Gavin M.
It’s been a bad week for these guys, hasn’t it?
[Spotted by the tireless Auguste of Malkinwatch]
Posted on January 14th, 2006 by Gavin M.
Getting fired for taking payola seems to have given Michael Fumento a bit of a handicap in the short-term memory department.
A very angry, confused man with an official pic that badly needs color adjustment in Photoshop
Body Armor Blather
By Michael Fumento
Kudos to Michelle Malkin for handing Hillary Clinton’s head to her over the issue of body armor for our troops. Having spent just a little more time in the stuff than the New York senator and having done so in Iraq on some very hot days, I can say that there are real limits to simply piling armor on even if it does provide more protection. And that’s the inherent problem. Ingenious fixes aside, more armor generally means more weight and less mobility.
Um, Mike, body armor is “good” again as of (what time is it?) about 3:30 this afternoon — please update the lead item on your blog, perhaps as you’re updating your resume.
Also, here’s a better photo for your resume.
Posted on January 13th, 2006 by Gavin M.
Improved body armor is bad for troops good for troops, and Hillary Clinton is despicable for calling for a body-armor study not showing up at a hastily-called Republican body-armor meeting.
See today’s Malkin post here. (“The pen became a funny little honky-horn…” –H.W.L.)
Relevant link here.
Posted on January 13th, 2006 by Gavin M.
After the James Wolcott vs. Michael Fumento battle, in which Wolcott pinned back Fumento’s ears and buttered his head, and swallowed him like a dinner roll, it seemed things couldn’t possibly get any better this week, hubris-wise.
But now we have Jonah Goldberg attempting to take on First Amendment litigator Glenn Greenwald.
Ahh, remember the sweet and uncanny Goldberg vs. Juan Cole matchup on Iraq, in which Cole basically set him on fire and then bounced out the flames on a steel-tipped pogo stick? Well, happy days are here again.
Greenwald searches for Jonah in the rubble
of the National Review offices
[UPDATE: Fumento nabbed in payola scandal, fired from job. Goldberg, Malkin, Hinderaker, et al., still at large.]
Posted on January 13th, 2006 by Brad
Have you guys ever seen Grill Skill? It’s a video that Wendy’s used in the ’80s to train their employees how to cook hamburgers through rapping. I’ve transcribed some of the lyrics:
Now meat’s got a grain to it just like wood
You gotta follow the arrow to lay it down like you should
From the front to the back you gotta lay it down
Place it evenly, not scattered around!
Next, you gotta salt the meat
From the back to the front to make the taste complete
Not too little, not too much
With a little finesse, you’ll get the touch!
When they start to sizzle you’re ready to go
Gently turn the meat, but don’t be slow
Just turn them over ee-zill-ee,
We don’t want a broken patty, that’s a guarantee!
Top to bottom, left to right
And you’ll get a patty that’s outta sight!
As if this weren’t bad enough, the video also features a trio of terrifying meat patty fly girls who sing during the chorus. I swear to God, these things will forever haunt my nightmares:
At any rate, this video has moved up to the number four slot in my all-time favorite films, behind the Turkish Star Wars, R Kelly’s Trapped in the Closet and Mr. T’s Be Somebody or Be Somebody’s Fool. You can now watch a two-and-a-half minute clip of it here.
Posted on January 13th, 2006 by Brad
I just got a piece of spam offering on-line college diplomas. The subject heading reads, “Is your skills about to expired?”
Posted on January 12th, 2006 by Brad
Have you ever wondered what would happen if you stuffed copies of Dianetics, Atlas Shrugged and the Bible into a juicer, and then poured the resulting mixture on your crotch and then set your crotch on fire?
OK, so you probably haven’t, and that’s because you’re a semi-normal human being who doesn’t like having liquified books seered into your groin. But alas, not all of us are that rational. For instance, take Ronald E. Springer, a self-styled “philsopher” who has mixed the tenets of Evangelical Christianity, Objectivism and Scientology and brewed them into a simmering wingnut stew called “Moral Armor.” The end product reads something like a Chicken Soup for the Demonically Possessed.
Above: Ronald E. Springer. Yes, that’s really what he looks like.
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