So I have this new theory: there is no person named “Patterico.” Instead, I think “Patterico” is a blogging robot who is under the command of various gnomes and/or leprechauns who are constantly fighting to be in control of pulling his levers and dictating what he gets to say. How else to explain the bizarre cognitive dissonance between this statement:
Anyway, Doug, not only do I try to initiate reasoned debate, I also will tone it down and *initiate* the process of civility.
And this one:
The real issue, Jeff G, is whether a douche like Greenwald helps a pussy like Retardo stay fresh.
You can picture the gnomes and leprechauns duking it out right now, can’t you?
“We have to put up a front of faux civility! Otherwise, we won’t be taken seriously as a Civilized Pundit!”
“Ach, laddy, call ‘im a pussy and a douche! Y’know he deserves it! I’s not like it’ll stop us from gettin’ hired by FOX News or nothin’!”
Now, I have called people nasty names in the past- “raging ass-fuck monster twat” is my personal favorite. However, I do at least understand and recognize that my status as a foul-mouthed cretin renders me completely unfit to lecture others about the virtues of civility. I would like to think that anyone who gleefully calls someone else a “douche” and “pussy” would at least own up to what they are, instead of bringing out the tired schtick of, “My poo doth not stinketh but thine poo dost! Saying that thou didst touch some guy’s sister in her secret places lots is harmless grade school humour! But if thou callest someone a “wanker,” then thou art the vilest knave e’er to debauch o’er the land! I am rubber, thou art glue, thy foolish scamp! W00teth!”
You would think they’d refrain from pulling that routine, anyway. But then again, most of us aren’t being controlled by psychotic gnomes and leprechauns, so I guess we should be a little more sympathetic.
Gavin adds: Oh cripes, is he still at it down in that thread? We might have to… You know, with the thing and the radioactive lava and the hurting, and all that.
Bradrocket adds: Of course he’s still at it. Those gnomes and leprechauns take shifts. So when Paddy McLuckycharms gets tired of pushing the buttons, Gan’dar the Garden Gnome punches his time card in, puts on his hard helmet and picks up the slack.
Gavin adds: You know what’s a cool thing? Lexis-Nexis. It’s like Google except there’s all different stuff on it. Oh wait, hang on a bit; I need to finish this level in Diablo II. Man, there’s so much time to fill during the day… Say, did Tad “TBogg” Boggington leave that twenty bucks in the mailbox like he said?
“Mr. Montalban” adds: Federalist Papers, Schmederalist Papers! Remember that Pattycake’s mentor, Pastycake, thinks anonymity/pseudonymity is worse than plagiarism. So Patty’s latest is all of a wingnutty piece.
Bradrocket adds an exciting update: Patterico writes:
You failed to quote this part from the first comment:
“I’m trying to tone it down with you, too, and give you a chance to enter a civil dialogue. How this effort is met is up to you.
“But some people don’t deserve that notably Retardo. He hides behind a pseudonym and takes dishonest potshots at the courage of people with the guts to use their real names, like Jeff Goldstein. That’s how you know Retardo is a putz who earns no civility.”
No cognitive dissonance.
Sweet. I was waiting for you to bring this up.
Read the rest of this entry »
