Posted on November 1st, 2006 by Brad
Hey, sorry if you went down to Drinking Liberally last night and no one was there. They apparently moved the location for one week. I totally didn’t know about it either.
Posted on November 1st, 2006 by Brad
Just in time for the midterm elections, Carey “Git-Off-My-Lawn!” Roberts unleashes this gem of a column:
Cleavage candidates and the politics of gender
Carey Roberts
October 31, 2006This headline crossed my desk last week: “Gubernatorial Hopeful Flashes for Cash!” Below that exclamatory remark appeared a sketch of well-endowed blond, her hands clutching the front of a low-cut jacket.
“Them was the first boobies I’d seen since I was 54 years old, back in nineteen ought four.”
This cheap thrill did not grace the pages of a recent issue of Playboy magazine, nor was it the come-on for a back-alley peep show.
Though you get the feeling he wishes it was…
No, this was the official campaign literature of one Loretta Nall, libertarian candidate for the governorship of Alabama.
And three months ago Hillary Clinton appeared on C-SPAN, this time with her formidable cleavage peering through her tailored blue dress.
Men, raise your hands: do you think Hillary really has “formidable” cleavage? Nah, me neither. ‘Course, when you haven’t seen a woman’s breasts since before World War I, you probably start to think they all look big…
Posted on October 31st, 2006 by Brad
S.Z. explains how trick-or-treating is really part of Satan’s master plot to take sole possession of your kids’ groins. Read the whole thing.
Gavin adds:
Posted on October 31st, 2006 by Brad
I’ll be at Drinking Liberally in Cambridge tonight. Make sure you come- you’ll get to see my awesome Halloween outfit!!!
Posted on October 31st, 2006 by Brad
I can’t think of a better way to spend Halloween than by reading lots of columns from America’s scariest minister, Pastor Joseph Grant Swank, Jr. Let’s get things started, eh?
Above: Creak, rumble, Aieee! pipe organ, coyotes, rattle-rattle Mua-ha-ha,
thunder “Have some Necco wafers, kids!” boo, slide whistle, eek.
Column #1: HARLOTS HOVER OVER NEW ORLEANS:
There are not enough beds in jails to stash the streetwalkers. Many are released by cops back on the streets within minutes. Recycling?
That last bit is almost a haiku. Let’s just cut out a syllable to make it work:
Many are released
By cops back on the streets with-
In days. Recycling?
Swank-tacular!
Hooking is a spiked business in the city-that-should-never-be-built-again-there. It’s now open season for prostitutes and more flooding. Waters will rush again into the bowl, only to spell havoc repeat. Levees won’t hold. Remember I said it first. However, those into silly nostalgia and political word games promise a resurrection of the mansions and art and culture and all that sort of fluffy stuff.
Describing culture and art as “all the sort of fluffy stuff” is certainly something I’ve never heard before. But hey, what can you expect from an elitist snob like Swank who regularly watches such high-quality entertainment as Oprah?
Posted on October 31st, 2006 by Gavin M.
Above: Blogs for Bush in effect
I have a feeling so have we.
With eight days before the midterm elections, the New York Times ran a front page story today alleging that “the American military has not properly tracked hundreds of thousands of weapons intended for Iraqi security forces.â€? Does sthis story sound a bit familiar to you? It should.
On October 25, 2004, “coincidentally” eight days before the president election, the New York Times published a story that falsely alleged missing weapons at the al Qa’qaa weapons facility in Iraq.
‘Coincidentally’ in scare-quotes means that an Iraqi report of October 10th, 2004, “just happened” to say “the following”:
Posted on October 30th, 2006 by Gavin M.
And we’d thought the GOP had lost the kook vote.
Window of opportunity? . . .quick close it!
Kaye Grogan
October 19, 2006
When a potential voter observes the vulturous attitude of Nancy Pelosi waiting in the wings to be “Speaker of the House” this should be more than enough of an incentive to register your pets, pay a special visit to the dearly departed encouraging them to rise up and go to the polls long enough to vote — to defeat Pelosi’s chances of cracking her whip in the house.
Um, do what now?
Huh.
…Okay, kitties. We have a special cat-treat assignment for you next Tuesday.
“Yay!”
Posted on October 30th, 2006 by
Thomas Sowell, who finds in Iraq a good excuse to slam diversity and liberals, unleashes this little gem over at Opinion Journal:
However we got into Iraq
How did the U.S. get into Iraq anyway? It’s just so damn complicated. Coming up next on Thomas’ how the hell did that happen story hour:
Feel free to add your own in the comments…
Posted on October 30th, 2006 by Gavin M.
Today’s Democrats mess on America’s doorstep
Marie Jon’
October 25, 2006
We have been bombarded with vicious and unwarranted politicking over Iraq and the war on terror for more than five years. The constant attacks have demoralized our citizens and our troops serving their country.
Most of us have felt frustrated and angered by what we observe coming from those who call themselves liberal progressives. They have managed to turn our country inside out. They have willfully divided the nation for their own selfish objectives.
Wars are “lost at home” because citizens lack the will to stand up and do what is correct. Blame the media and a party that is morally bankrupt and corrupt. “I hate the Republicans and everything they stand for,” the DNC chairman Howard Dean told Democrats gathered at a Manhattan hotel, according to the New York Daily News.
Today’s Democrats contribute nothing toward the betterment of our country. Now, they have messed on America’s doorstep. It’s time to show them with your vote, just what you think of them. It’s time to scrape them off.
Ding-dong, Marie!
Posted on October 29th, 2006 by Gavin M.
Liv-A Snaps are made with real liver! And dogs love ’em!
Above: Pam! I Feel Like A Woman (doop-doop de-doo-doo)
“Obama bin Laden” — we’ve been waiting for that one. Also, Pammy predicts a lot of Democratic “fighting” about electronic voting machines, because “voter fraud is the only way [Democrats] can win” and “machines don’t lie.”
Besides being head-bonkingly stupid in four simultaneous dimensions of space-time, that’s actually quite interesting. There’s been a rising murmur on the right about ballot fraud, and about some kind of planned Republican pushback after the election results come in and they prove unfavorable to the GOP.
What it means, I don’t know; but it’s like hearing teacups rattling in the pantry and noticing that the cats are all hanging out under the furniture. Maybe nothing, but a bit eerie, seismically.
Treat your dog to Liv-A Snaps!