Sadly, No!

OK, Dan, two can play at that little game.

The Sadly Foundation, with the help of a generous moonbat welfare check grant from sugar daddy George Soros, hereby nominates Ignignokt for the Nobel Peace Prize.

Ignignokt has done a lot to earn this award. From giving the world its first toke of moonajuana…

…to stealing a magic Foreigner novelty belt…

…to royally fucking up my commute this week, Ignignokt has done nothing but spread fear and chaos wherever he goes.

Now, a lot of you may say this sort of behavior isn’t something we want to reward with a prize, let alone a prize intended to reward peace. And you’ve got a point. But Ignignokt has still done a great deal for world peace simply by not being a war-mongering drug addict shitbag propagandist. Which is a lot more than some people can say.

Now, were you intelligent, you could say you believe there’s a x % chance the nomination won’t be accepted, you might even say 100%. What you cannot say is that Ignignokt was not nominated. Thanks for playing.

Limbaugh Nominated For Nobel Peace Prize

While not being able to keep up with all of his many accomplishments over the years, I do speak from personal experience when I say Rush Limbaugh’s 1992 Best Seller The Way Things Ought To Be may have done more to carry discussion of conservative ideas and the concept of political freedom into elements of American popular culture where it was never thought much about before.

Then again, it may not have done more to carry discussion into elements where it was never thought much about before. I can’t say for certain, because that sentence made me scoop out my Broca’s Area with a grapefruit spoon.

So it’s good to see Mr. Limbaugh finally nominated for the Noble Peace Prize:

LEESBURG, Va., Feb. 1 /PRNewswire-USNewswire/ — Landmark Legal Foundation today nominated nationally syndicated radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh for the 2007 Nobel Peace Prize.

Limbaugh, whose daily radio show is heard by more than 20 million people on more than 600 radio stations in the United States and around the world, was nominated for the prestigious award for his “nearly two decades of tireless efforts to promote liberty, equality and opportunity for all humankind, regardless of race, creed, economic stratum or national origin. These are the only real cornerstones of just and lasting peace throughout the world,” said Landmark President Mark R. Levin.

Above: Talk radio yip-terrier and National
Review Online speed bump Mark Levin

If you think there’s something odd about Mark Levin being able to nominate someone for a Nobel Peace Prize, you’re less gullible than Dan Riehl (e.g., when the weather report says it’s chilly tonight, you don’t run outside with a bowl). As it happens, we’ve seen this stunt before:

Dubious doctor touted as Nobel Prize nominee by Hannity, Scarborough

Fox News host Sean Hannity and MSNBC host Joe Scarborough both promoted Dr. William Hammesfahr‘s false claim that he is a Nobel Prize nominee.

Hammesfahr testified during an October 2002 court hearing on the Schiavo case that his claim to be a Nobel nominee is based on a letter written by Rep. Mike Bilirakis (R-FL) recommending him for the prize. But Bilirakis is not qualified to make a valid nomination under the Nobel rules.

Another tip-off was that Hammesfahr claimed to have been nominated for a ‘Nobel Peace Prize in Medicine.’ Suspecting none of this, Dan complains about all the egregious rat-bastards who have won the Nobel Peace Prize in the past (hint: not Henry Kissinger), and ponders:

With some thought, perhaps the real question is, were the honorable Mr. Limbaugh to ultimately win the prize, is it one he should even accept?

Perhaps the real question is, should the honorable Mr. Riehl wish to place a call to Mexico, would he attempt to dial via Taco Bell?

UPDATE: Dan addresses concerns as to the legitimacy of the unsolicited, and therefore invalid, nomination:

Now, were you intelligent, you could say you believe there’s a x % chance the nomination won’t be accepted, you might even say 100%. What you cannot say is that he was not nominated. Thanks for playing.

Allow us therefore to nominate Dan Riehl for a 2008 AVN Award in the category of Best New Starlet.

The Darwin Award is seeming like too much of a gimme.

Shorter Kathleen Parker:

Above: Argued that ‘polopony’ is one
word, to win Scrabble game

‘But He’s Barbaro’

• Barbaro captured the public imagination of post-9/11 America in a way that John Kerry and Jane Fonda never could.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.

I turned the faucet and water came out. It was then that I knew there was something silly going on over at Blogs For Bush:

Hugo Psycho
By Princella Smith at 07:13 PM

I can’t believe this. Why don’t the dems adamantly speak out about this?

From the Associated Press:

President Hugo Chavez was granted free rein Wednesday to accelerate changes in broad areas of society by presidential decree — a move critics said propels Venezuela toward dictatorship.

That tears it. I’m totally not voting for Hugo Chavez next time.

Welp, this has been another jolly adventure in making fun of Blogs For Bush. Tune in next time when we Photoshop Mark Noonan’s face onto that Mahna-Mahna guy from The Muppet Show, to whimsical effect.

Huh? Oh right, yeah. It’s copied on my clipboard. Hang on.

[CTL-V]

Bush Directive Increases Sway on Regulation
By ROBERT PEAR
WASHINGTON, Jan. 29

President Bush has signed a directive that gives the White House much greater control over the rules and policy statements that the government develops to protect public health, safety, the environment, civil rights and privacy.

In an executive order published last week in the Federal Register, Mr. Bush said that each agency must have a regulatory policy office run by a political appointee, to supervise the development of rules and documents providing guidance to regulated industries. The White House will thus have a gatekeeper in each agency to analyze the costs and the benefits of new rules and to make sure the agencies carry out the president’s priorities.

This strengthens the hand of the White House in shaping rules that have, in the past, often been generated by civil servants and scientific experts. It suggests that the administration still has ways to exert its power after the takeover of Congress by the Democrats.

This job is starting to get to me: I totally missed that she cited the Associated Press without claiming that the story was planted by a Sunni terror conspiracy codenamed ‘Jamil Hussein.’

Breaking: Several Suspicious Devices Discovered in Boston

Suspicious Devices Found In Four Areas In Boston. (Hat tip: LGF readers.)

(WBZ) BOSTON Police are investigating four suspicious devices found at four separate locations throughout Boston.

Officials are telling WBZ the devices are similar to the one found this morning in Sullivan Square attached to a beam supporting I-93 north.

The four locations for these devices are the Boston University Bridge, Longfellow Bridge, Tufts New England Medical Center, and the intersection of Stuart and Columbus Streets.

WBZ has learned Boston police removed an item from the Boston University Bridge but they would not elaborate on exactly what the item is. Officers have since cleared that scene.

UPDATE at 1/31/07 12:19:21 pm:
Boston police now say all of the devices are “hoax devices” and one of them contained a picture of a man “flipping the bird” to police.

UPDATE at 1/31/07 12:54:47 pm:
Authorities now say they have discovered as many as 10 of these hoax devices around Boston.

UPDATE at 1/31/07 2:03:29 pm:
It’s turning into an “oh brother” kind of day. The latest news: the “devices” were part of a hare-brained advertising campaign by Turner Broadcasting, promoting the animated show “Aqua Teen Hunger Force.”

This is a perfect piece of art. I yearn to add something to the end by way of a rimshot or an eep-wow noise, but I can’t bear to touch it.

Check the comments to savor some classic Teh Paranoid Style — sinister metanarratives and wheels-within-wheels and all that timelessly imminent right-wing stuff. Even a bit more than usual, I mean:

#21 Barking Pumpkin 1/31/2007 12:12PM PST

Regardless of who is responsible for this, I’m afraid that it will take another event of 9/11 proportions to wake the American public out of their collective stupor regarding who our enemies are. I pray to G-d that I am wrong.

#129 syncrodude 1/31/2007 01:05PM PST

These were not hoaxes at all. They were deliberate acts of purposeful disruption against the people of Boston. This is exactly how terrorism works. Get the Citizens of America aware of people in there midst that are out to do them harm, and then keep putting up “almost attacks” that force us to duck and cover. Do this over and over until the people stop reacting, then hit e’m with the real ting to get them all shook up again. Then repeat. It is very effective. Boston was shut down with a few dollars worth of parts. And even if someone was caught with these devices, there is nothing illegal about possessing them. But look what you can do with them to cause large scale disruption.

No, this was real…

Here’s Malkin, plying a similar tack:

Update: A hoax.

Or something else.

Jason Smith e-mails: “Simultaneously placed at various strategic locations. I wonder if someone is sitting back and simply studying the emergency response protocol and timing… trying to identify weak spots and gaps to exploit for a real attack?”

Well, you know those Mooninites.

Above: “Say goodbye, cavemen! We have mapped your defenses!”

(Reporter on the scene) Marita adds: One of the suspect devices was affixed to MIT’s Frank Gehry-designed Stata Center, which, if blown up, would look… not terribly different. Oh, the humanity!!!

Above: Stata Center — ‘still standing.’

[Hanx! Julie O., Mantis, Lawnguylander, Steve!]

Wuzzadem (good riddance to bad rubbish) is making a big deal over a recent exchange between Bob Woodward and Bradford Berenson, a former associate counsel to the president.

Basically, Woodward calls Berenson on the Bush Administration’s notorious, creepy secrecy about its decision-making process. Berenson replies by saying that it’s no different from what the media does when it uses unnamed sources, also dropping Richard Armitage’s name for the zing-factor.

Then Wuzzadem goes, “BWAHAHA! Pwn3d!” Then one of Pasty’s dogsbodies goes, “Woodward got his nads kicked in!” And on and on.

Listen, morons. The difference is that you can turn off the evening news. You can’t turn off your taxes.

Gavin adds: Head-‘splodey time for Wuzzadem:

Above: Party at Berenson’s pad, Harvard, 1990

Fat Boys video seen and raised.

Read the rest of this entry »

Shorter Michelle Malkin:

Lara Logan & al Qaeda: What’s the 411, CBS?

Above: Hey, where’d the ostrich go?

• Tellingly, liberals would prefer to spread distortions about a so-called “destroyed” mosque that was merely firebombed and blown up, while “conveniently” ignoring that CBS. Has. Footage. Of. Dead. Iraqi. Soldiers. That. Also. Appears. In. An. Al-Qaeda. Video.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.

TBizzle points us to this fine interview transcript between Hugh Hewitt and Terry McAuliffe. Pope Hugh predictably asks Terry how he can be both a Catholic and pro-abortion rights:

HH: But I mean, you often cite Catholic doctrine in this book, and yet you support late term abortions, and judges who impose them on people. […] Is that teaching optional, Terry McAuliffe?

TM: Is what teaching optional?

HH: The Church’s teaching on the sanctity of life?

TM: Hey, listen, I have my views on my religious beliefs, Hugh, you’ve got yours.

Terry, being a cheesebag waffler, dodges the question somewhat. The simple answer to Hugh’s question is, “My religious beliefs in no way dictate what should and should not be illegal. I’m not a big fan of lying, committing adultery or disrespecting your parents, but I don’t think anyone should go to jail for those things. We don’t live in a theocracy, Hugh.”

Why oh why aren’t Democrats snappier with their talking points?