Sadly, No!

The Porn Plot Against Prosecutors
Max Blumenthal

The Justice Department and the White House offered a scattershot of alibis for firing Charlton. The Bush Administration’s case against Charlton rested ultimately on the account of a little-known Justice Department official named Brent Ward, who claimed in a September 20, 2006 e-mail that Charlton was “unwilling to take good cases.” Ward’s allegation was vague in its claim, mysterious for its submission and vacant in context.

What accounts for this bizarre e-mail? And who is Brent Ward?

Ward first came to prominence in Utah, where as US Attorney during the Reagan era he cast himself as a crusader against pornography. His battles made him one of the most fervent and earnest witnesses before Attorney General Edwin Meese’s Commission on Pornography; he urged “testing the endurance” of pornographers by relentless prosecutions. Meese was so impressed that he named Ward a leader of a group of US Attorneys engaged in a federal anti-pornography campaign, which soon disappeared into the back rooms of adult bookshops to ferret out evildoers. Ward returned to government last year as the chief of the Justice Department’s newly created Obscenity Prosecution Task Force, where his main achievement has been the prosecution of the producer of the Girls Gone Wild film series.

[…]

According to the source, Ward’s accusation against Charlton stems from a case he filed in June 2006. That month, Ward ordered Charlton to prosecute Five Star Video, an adult video store that registered on Ward’s radar when it mailed copies of the DVD’s Gag Factor 18, Filthy Things 6, Gag Factor 15, and American Bukkake 13 to customers across state lines. Charlton agreed to take the case, but as the source told me, Ward implored him to attach an additional US Attorney to it. Concerned about wasting the already limited resources at his disposal on a case of dubious value, Charlton hesitated. Despite his misgivings, he assigned the additional prosecutor–a key fact missing from the White House e-mails.

So if it has blowjobs, is it a serious matter yet?

I’ve been running across this draft in the notedly cram-stuffed SadNo we-never-finish-anything drafts folder for days now, and every time it’s like, ‘Muh. Dan Riehl. Nathan Tabor. Muh.’

Liberals Are Such Morons

You know, somebody told me not long ago that Dan lives fairly nearby, somewhere past a certain mountainy-forest place that I tend to frequent. Since then I’ve changed my habits. I no longer assume, for instance, that a 1989 Ford Festiva with Barry Goldwater painted on the hood won’t come plowing through a hedge and chase me screaming into the old quarry. I’ve started looking both ways when crossing one-way streets and standing farther back on the train platform. When I enter a building, I unconsciously check for exits and for maniacal bwa-ha-haaaing.

It isn’t that I think Dan harbors ill motives, or anything like that. It just concerns me that he’s around here influencing the actuarial tables. For instance:

Oh my God! Matt Ortega is ringing the taco bell at HuffPo because he busted Duncan Hunter and Nathan Tabor … not!

Can you hear him coming arm-flailingly down the sidewalk, braying in a talk-radio voice as he nears the tippy ladder with the paint bucket balanced on the step? Can you see the banana peel on the sidewalk as the two guys carry the plate-glass window past the heaped vegetable cart next to other guy working in the manhole, while the piano dangles on the fraying rope overhead?

Because watch this. Here’s Matt Ortega walking along all like ‘doop-de-doo,’ minding his own business:

Duncan Hunter’s Blogger Ethics Problem

The campaign staffer for Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-Alpine, Calif.), TheConservativeVoice.com founder Nathan Tabor, signed on as the Director of Internet Outreach in mid-February citing the congressman’s “commitment to conservative principles.” Apparently those principles do not include disclosing who signs your paychecks when you write columns slamming the boss’ political opponents.

And here comes Riehl.

Yeah, so? In the first place, Hunter didn’t hire Tabor as a blogger, Tabor has a consulting business with multiple clients and is, obviously, also an on line columnist. And as the news is so public – just ask CBS:

For those helping the lesser-known Republican candidates, it’s a matter of convincing primary voters of their conservative values, said Nathan Tabor, the 33-year-old Web master for the presidential campaign of Rep. Duncan Hunter, R-Calif. After all, McCain, Romney and Giuliani are scrambling now to account for flip-flops in their records, he noted.

where exactly is the there, here? Tabor also hired John Hawkins of Right Wing News with regard to Hunter, which was also disclosed.

Dan is now aloft, hanging achingly in the air in still-frame.

First of all, there’s this:

Dan Riehl Nominated For Darwin Award

[…]

Perhaps the real question is, should the honorable Mr. Riehl wish to place a call to Mexico, would he attempt to dial via Taco Bell?

The ‘taco bell’ thing isn’t even his, see? He’s probably been carrying it around this whole time just waiting for someone with a name like ‘Ortega,’ ‘Goya,’ or ‘Tio Pepe’ to cross his path.

Sobre: El periodista hace la investigación

Fine. We’ll keep making them up, Dan can just go on stealing them.

Above: Dunkin’ black

Second thing… I say, the second thing…

Muh. I suppose I’ll finish this tomorrow. [To Be Contizzled…]

From the Gathering of Eagles Mission Statement:

We believe in and would give our lives for the precious freedoms found in our Constitution. We believe that our freedom of speech is one of the greatest things our country espouses, and we absolutely hold that any American citizen has the right to express his or her approval or disapproval with any policy, law, or action of our nation and her government in a peaceful manner as afforded by the laws of our land.

From our hosting company:

I’m writing you about your site “sadlyno.com”. It was getting severely DDOS’ed and causing the whole edendale server to have a very high load (around 200, when normal is 1 to 2) and tons of connections. For now to keep the server from being totally unusable, I’ve had to rename the web directory. The server is stable now, please leave it disabled for at least a few more hours until the attack dies down. If you have further questions, let us know.

Memo to all Gatherings of various types of Eagles, Hawks, Ptarmigans, Albatrosses, Cormorants, Egrets, etc:

Re: Severe Distributed-Denial-of-Service Attacks

Rock.

As we know, opinion against the war in Iraq, and against President Bush, now stands at between 60 and 70 percent in America. If you’re a right-wing authoritarian follower, how do you continue to prop up the necessary belief that you represent a silent majority of downtrodden patriots, and that someday a real rain will come and wash the scum off the streets?

Luckily, there are people out there to do that thinking for you.

Above: Right-wing astroturfer Larry Bailey

Step One: Invent a phony threat — for instance, to the Vietnam War Memorial:

As a Vietnam veteran, and suffering through fox-hole combat, and knowing what the anti-war movement did to America and to my morale of me and the morale other troops during the Vietnam era, the thought of elements of those same vile and vicious people attempting to resurrect their venom and use the Vietnam Memorial Wall as a proxy was intolerable. My view was it must be challenged, and in short it cannot happen.

The current anti-war movement is no different than the Vietnam era group, in fact many current participants are the same people who were involved in the 60s and 70s. They lie, deceive, distort, damage, desecrate, spit on our military, curse, hurl insults, and dishonor not only historical sites but hallowed ground if given the opportunity.

Step Two: Create a fake-nonpartisan campaign to ‘protect’ the memorial from the vile and vicious spitters-on and desecrators-of, who are converging on DC in a mammoth hippie tidal wave:

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Above: Hiatt

Lessons of War

• Fool me once. . .um, fool me twice — or however that goes.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.

Who, I say who, is responsible for this?!

So I wake up this morning hung over from a night of drinking Guinness, and what do I see on my web browser when I open it? Why, I see this amazingly stupid article with the following title:

Is the Iraq war a relative bargain?

No, really. That is the title of the article. Someone who supposedly has experience in journalism thought it would be a good idea to put the words “is” and “the” and “Iraq” and “war” and “a” and “relative” and “bargain” together in the same sentence and then not add the words “you’re” and “fucking” and “joking” and at the end.

Let’s check this out:

After four years, America’s cost for the war in Iraq has reached nearly $500 billion — more than the total for the Korean War and nearly as much as 12 years in Vietnam, adjusting for inflation. The ultimate cost could reach $1 trillion or more.

A lot of money? No question.

But even though the war has turned out to be much more expensive than Bush administration officials predicted on the eve of the March 2003 invasion, it is relatively affordable — at least in historical terms.

Iraq eats up less than 1 percent of the nation’s gross domestic product, compared with as much as 14 percent for Vietnam and 9 percent for Korea.

“I think it’s hard to argue it’s not affordable,� said Steven M. Kosiak, director of budget studies at the Center for Strategic and Budgetary Assessments, a defense think tank in Washington, D.C.

You know, I think the premise of this article has some, shall we say, flaws.

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This one goes out to the foul-mouthed leprechaun living in Ann Coulter’s neck:

God he has shit teeth.

Also, I’d forgotten until recently that the Smashing Pumpkins were really good before they started sucking. Here’s the evidence:

Discuss. And have a good night. I am about to go out drinkin’.

UPDATE: How could I forget this bit of teh funny:

FECK! ARSE!! DRINK!!! GIRLS!!!!

Above: Sometimes contains Olestra

Gavin, Brad, you guys were right. Reading Mark Noonan is like eating Pringles; once you pop, you can’t stop:

It puzzles me that Ghandi [sic] is considered a great man. The only reason his non-violent independence movement worked is because the British simply weren’t willing to put in the effort necessary to maintain their power in India. Non-violence works splendidly when the other side is determined to not use violence.

Indeed. Why don’t the peaceniks hold the British army in the same high esteem? After all, the soldiers were the real peace activists in this equation by choosing not to mow down this swarthy hippie and his followers, whose protests upset the status quo and possibly disturbed the peace. You dig?

Had someone tried Ghandi’s [sic] tactics in contemporary Russia, Italy, Germany or Japan, they would have been shot. And yet this man, who was mostly humbug, is revered around the world – especially by our anti-war left.

Humbug? Well, Happy Holidays to you, too, Mr. Scrooge!

Gavin adds: Not only would Gandhi have been shot, but Martin Luther King would have been in great danger.
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Mark Noonan of Blogs For Bush has an important announcement for you, yes you, Mr. and Ms. Liberal Naysayer, whose irresponsible talk has brought America to the brink of defeat in Iraq.

Noonan: “Except we’re also totally winning
in Iraq — and vice versa.”

The Lefty Effect

It is phrase coining time, and I’ve got a new one: The Lefty Effect. This is what happens when lefties, through their lapdogs in the media, get to say things which make America look bad in the world – what you get is the world greatly mistaking what America is all about, and sometimes this can actually cost lives. Robert Kagan sets the stage for us:

A front-page story in The Post last week suggested that the Bush administration has no backup plan in case the surge in Iraq doesn’t work. I wonder if The Post and other newspapers have a backup plan in case it does.

Oh, snap. You see, Robert Kagan is especially qualified to evaluate the ‘surge’ strategy (a.k.a. the Kagan Plan) because it was created by his brother, Frederick Kagan — although if we’re talking bias in media, neither the Washington Post nor Mark Noonan finds this salutory detail worth mentioning. Other prominent supporters include father Donald Kagan, and sister-in-law Kimberly Kagan, who now covers ‘surge’-related news for the Weekly Standard.

Above: Rusty Kagan contributes ‘surge’
column to Dog Fancy

Welp, back to whichever Kagan it is this time:

[…]

Iraqi bloggers Mohammed and Omar Fadhil, widely respected for their straight talk, say that “early signs are encouraging.” The first impact of the “surge,” they write, was psychological. Both friends and foes in Iraq had been convinced, in no small part by the American media, that the United States was preparing to pull out. When the opposite occurred, this alone shifted the dynamic. (emphasis added)

Ah yes, Mohammed and Omar Fadhil. Now where have we heard these names before…?

[Zeerp] “Hello, dum-dums.”

Oh hey, Great Gazoogle. Say, what’s this?
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