Let’s Help the White House

This in’t good:

The White House wants to appoint a high-powered czar to oversee the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan with authority to issue directions to the Pentagon, the State Department and other agencies, but it has had trouble finding anyone able and willing to take the job, according to people close to the situation.

At least three retired four-star generals approached by the White House in recent weeks have declined to be considered for the position, the sources said, underscoring the administration’s difficulty in enlisting its top recruits to join the team after five years of warfare that have taxed the United States and its military.

“The very fundamental issue is, they don’t know where the hell they’re going,” said retired Marine Gen. John J. “Jack” Sheehan, a former top NATO commander who was among those rejecting the job.

See, the White House’s problem is that it needs to think outside the box on this one. Why are they searching for some fruity-assed “general” to run their war, when they’ve got plenty of brilliant military strategists at their disposal right here in the blogosphere! They don’t need no steenkin’ credentials! All they need are their copies of An End to Evil, America Alone and the World of Warcraft Strategy Guide! Army of Davids, bitches!


Above: Prospective war czar Dafydd ab Hugh.

I’ll review the candidates a little later when I get home from work tonight. Needless to say, I can’t wait to tell you about their brilliant plans to defeat Muslamonaziism once and for all!

UPDATE: Pajamas Media Blogger Libertarian Leanings comments:

Maybe it’s just [Gen.] Jack Sheehan who doesn’t know where the hell they’re going. The administration understands the mission, but the question has always been whether or not that mission can succeed. The administration, and I by the way, think we will succeed. The great majority of Iraqis hope we succeed. Unfortunately, al Qaeda, congressional Democrats, and the mainstream press, notably the Washington Post, all aim to break the American will to fight. It’s a race against the clock.

Yeah, boy! You tell that sissy-arsed general who’s boss! That’s the kind of can-do attitude we’re lookin’ for to be Bush’s war czar!

 

This & That

Hi there. I’m HTML Mencken. You might remember me from such Sadlian posts as “Wingnuts In Party Hats” and the Wingnut All-Star Series of reichwing character assassinations assisted suicides.

I haven’t been around for a while. I could say I’ve been busy, and it would be partially true but still too cliche, so instead my excuse is that I’ve been forced into hibernation by the coldest fucking blackberry winter I’ve ever endured.

In lieu of a post that would, you know, take effort and shit to compose, with a lede and then sustained blahblahblah followed with a succinct conclusion, instead I’ll offer you this steaming pile of links to entertain you while I go back to …zzzzzzzzzz. Enjoy:

Read the rest of this entry »

 

[Pokes Head In Door]

Crap, nobody’s posted anything yet today.

This bulldog is cool.

This bulldog is a total poseur, man.

Um, “open thread!1”

 

The Bawdy Hand Of The Dial Is Now Upon The Prick Of Noonan

Timmy the Global Warming Tugboat discovers Richard Lindzen, the lonely MIT professor who disputes anthropogenic global warming:

The Global Warming Non-Crisis
By Mark Noonan at 12:11 AM

First, lets get the authors credentials up:

    Professor Lindzen is a dynamical meteorologist with interests in the broad topics of climate, planetary waves, monsoon meteorology, planetary atmospheres, and hydrodynamic instability. His research involves studies of the role of the tropics in mid-latitude weather and global heat transport, the moisture budget and its role in global change, the origins of ice ages, seasonal effects in atmospheric transport, stratospheric waves, and the observational determination of…

It goes on like that for several hundred words. Executive summary: Lindzen is a for-reals scientist.

According to the article I’m quoting, Lindzen has never received any funding from any energy company. That said:

    Judging from the media in recent months, the debate over global warming is now over. There has been a net warming of the earth over the last century and a half, and our greenhouse gas emissions are contributing at some level. Both of these statements are almost certainly true. What of it? Recently many people have said that the earth is facing a crisis requiring urgent action. This statement has nothing to do with science. There is no compelling evidence that the warming trend we’ve seen will amount to anything close to catastrophe. What most commentators—and many scientists—seem to miss is that the only thing we can say with certainly about climate is that it changes. The earth is always warming or cooling by as much as a few tenths of a degree a year; periods of constant average temperatures are rare. Looking back on the earth’s climate history, it’s apparent that there’s no such thing as an optimal temperature—a climate at which everything is just right. The current alarm rests on the false assumption not only that we live in a perfect world, temperaturewise, but also that our warming forecasts for the year 2040 are somehow more reliable than the weatherman’s forecast for next week.

Huh. Something seems wrong here. If only there were some way to look things up on the Internet.

greatgazoogle.jpg
[Zeerp!] Hello, dum-dums.

Oh hi, Great Gazoogle. Say, what’s this?

The Heat Is On:
The warming of the world’s climate sparks a blaze of denial
by Ross Gelbspan.
HARPER’S MAGAZINE December, 1995

[…]

The people who run the world’s oil and coal companies know that the march of science, and of political action, may be slowed by disinformation. In the last year and a half, one of the leading oil industry public relations outlets, the Global Climate Coalition, has spent more than a million dollars to downplay the threat of climate change. It expects to spend another $850,000 on the issue next year. Similarly, the National Coal Association spent more than $700,000 on the global climate issue in 1992 and 1993. In 1993 alone, the American Petroleum Institute, just one of fifty-four industry members of the GCC, paid $1.8 million to the public relations firm of Burson-Marsteller partly in an effort to defeat a proposed tax on fossil fuels. For perspective, this is only slightly less than the combined yearly expenditures on global warming of the five major environmental groups that focus on climate issues—about $2.1 million, according to officials of the Environmental Defense Fund, the Natural Resources Defense Council, the Sierra Club, the Union of Concerned Scientists, and the World Wildlife Fund.

For the most part the industry has relied on a small band of skeptics—Dr. Richard S. Lindzen, Dr. Pat Michaels, Dr. Robert Balling, Dr. Sherwood Idso, and Dr. S. Fred Singer, among others—who have proven extraordinarily adept at draining the issue of all sense of crisis.

[…]

Lindzen, for his part, charges oil and coal interests $2,500 a day for his consulting services; his 1991 trip to testify before a Senate committee was paid for by Western Fuels, and a speech he wrote, entitled “Global Warming: the Origin and Nature of Alleged Scientific Consensus,” was underwritten by OPEC.

Was Noonan played for a fool again? We’re running out of ways to say so! According to the article he quotes, Lindzen’s ‘research’ has always been funded by the U.S. Government — as opposed to, oh, well, his ‘consulting services,’ for instance — and he ‘receives’ no funding from any energy companies. As of, like, right at this exact moment. Because these days, his wingnut welfare comes pre-laundered through ‘pro-business’ foundations such as the Cato Institute. Oh, that bawdy hand of the dial!

 

The Pam Is Risen

pamspringbreak3.jpg

Oh dear.
 


[Note: The spam-thinger is overactive today, possibly due to a spamcano eruption over the weekend. If your comment doesn’t show up immediately, it’ll be right along.]

 

Bands’n’Stuff

After much listening, I think I finally “get” Arcade Fire, and I like ’em quite a bit.

I still don’t see what’s so bloody special about LCD Soundsystem, though. Can anyone shed some light on this, or does Brad get an “Ach ja” for his bewilderment?

 

Glenn Reynolds Roboshop Contest Winnar!!!

I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to tabulate the results of the Glenn Reynolds Roboshop Challenge, but in my defense, I’m a lazy sack of crap.

And now, here is TEH WINNRRR!!!!

To the person who submitted the winning entry- please e-mail me your home address so Scott from World O’Crap can send you a prize. Excelsior, bitches!

 

Tragic: The Gathering

Any successful trick has to have 3 parts; the pledge, the turn, and the prestige. The pledge is the set up. The turn is the performance of the trick. The prestige is the effect of the trick itself. While there’s infinite ways to go about these stages, one thing is tantamount: the trick while unbelievable on its face must be believed, even if only for a second. People must believe that one man travelled 50 ft in 2 seconds (in one door, out of another) or that the bird and the cage actually vanished with the bird reappearing behind the magician’s back. People must believe the impossible, they must believe the unbelievable. That is called hope.”

Teh Pledge.

Teh Turn.

Teh “Prestige.”

 

Whiz! Go The Goalposts

Shorter Powerline:

mirengoffcspan.jpg

How much contact did there have to be between al Qaeda and Saddam for the U.S. to be legitimately concerned?

  • Although we actually went to war with Iraq because of [mumble mumble], the fact that Saddam didn’t have a relationship with Al Qaeda only enabled the threat that he could have started one.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.


Update: Toot-toot! Here’s Noonan:

Saddam and al-Qaeda
By Mark Noonan at 08:54 PM

The left is whooping it up over this Washington Post story – Powerline disposes of it:

[…]

None of this common sense will matter in the least to our leftwing critics…in their minds, “Bush LIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” has been firmly ingrained since 2003 and no amount of fact will shake them from it. Still, it is worthwhile to get things like this on the record in order that future historians will know who the boneheads were in the early 21st century.

I think it’s most elegant simply to let that hang sweetly in the air, like the scent of April crocuses.

 

Weekend Updock [Further Updocked]

It’s what’s cookin’.

That Streiff guy at RedState is still at it:

You may be in captivity but your enemy can never take away your ability to resist. Only you can do that….

Yes of course, Mr. Streiff. You asked me once what was in Room 101. I told you that you knew the answer already. Everyone knows it. The thing that is in Room 101 is the worst thing in the world.

56441792cheetos.jpg
Streiff: “No! Nooo!!!”

Meanwhile, Dan Riehl has finally gone frickin’ bananas:

Brits Were “Tortured”

Just don’t expect to hear it called that by the Left – at least not unless Rumsfeld is working for Iran now.

Let’s back up a bit here. Hi, I’m Dan Riehl. “Blar-har-har! Torture, my ass. Gitmo 4 EVAR!1 Slobber-slobber.”

[four days later]

“Say there, Mr. Riehl. Apparently those captive Brits were badly treated by Iran.”

“Bla-ha-haa! The Left is soft on torture! Gooble-gobble.”

We’re scheming to have Dan booked on Jeopardy, where through intricate leveragings he will be positioned for a Daily Double in the category, ‘Novels by Salman Rushdie.’ The clue will be given: “Omar Khayyám and the City of Q are features of this early work.”

riehljeopardy4.jpg
Riehl: “…What is ‘Shame?'”

It’ll just be funny. It’s like the opposite of having Jimmie Walker on and giving him the clue, “Alfred Nobel invented this explosive.”
Read the rest of this entry »